Back when I was younger I could invest thousands of hours into a single game, playing every free hour and frequently pulling all-nighters. On fridays at 1 pm I would get home from school in a state of joy and anticipation, since a whole weekend of uninterrupted gameplay lay ahead of me. When a new game which sparked my interest was announced, I impatiently waited for its release for months, indulding in every press announcement and new gameplay trailer.
I spent my precious youth doing what I loved most - comfying up in my room and fully investing myself in a specific game. I soaked it up like a sponge and put my entire focus on it. It could dominate my mind for months on end, to the point that sometimes I even dreamt of it.
Nowadays, however, all the magic of video games has faded. I can't really get into new games, despite a heavily saturated market and more on offer than my teenage me could ever have dreamt of. Pretty much any niche interest is satisfied these days, and yet I purchase maybe one or two games a year. I play them for a couple of hours, then get bored and quit. Sometimes I get the urge to replay old classics, the ones I sunk months of my life into and which I have fond memories of, and yet even they have lost their luster over the years. I play them for like half an hour, then see the meaninglessness of it all and drop them again.
I also started to notice some kind of guilt attached to playing video games, as if I'd miss out on something more important in the meantime. After all, there's bills to be paid, a girlfriend to be attended to, an education to be finished, a career to be advanced, a house to be saved up for, a future to be provided for. Why play video games when there's so much else to do?
"Go read a book in your free time! Do some exercise! Learn a new language! Those things are useful and healthy, they'll make you a better person, unlike video games."
Anybody know this feel? Have I 'grown up'? If so, I'd rather be a child again.
Back when I was younger I could invest thousands of hours into a single game...
I still experience this.
And I read every evening. And I exercise.
The problem is you.
how weird to grow out of literally playing
You don't have passion for video games, or maybe you simply lost it
I'm 30, I work (an awful job too) and I still enjoy new games, sometimes I even play shitty games if I find something different or interesting in them
I am picky about certain things though, because certain game companies just like to fuck with their customers and that's a no go for me
How do I regain my passion?
I think a big part of my problem is my different view towards gameplay aspects. Like, I see them more as a program than a living, breathing world. Back in the day video games were exciting worlds full of wonder. Nowadays I'm more like "Okay, this boss has 200 hp and a 15 % chance do drop X." Seeing a beautiful vista, I'm like "Wow, they really put a lot of effort into the rendering" or whatever. It's the mysterious that's lacking, I suppose. Everything is made mundane and 'man-made', so to speak, by my mind.
>i see them more as a program
Are one of those anal backend code developers?
I don't know man
What you describe is probably you growing up. I still love video games despite aknowledging they are programs and maths. Maybe you should try to play lore rich games and concentrate on this aspect
>After all, there's bills to be paid, a girlfriend to be attended to, an education to be finished, a career to be advanced, a house to be saved up for, a future to be provided for. Why play video games when there's so much else to do?
Only the bills need to be paid everything else is optional. Hell I don't know ANYBODY who cares about a house, that's a boomer thing and just a way to turn you into a wage slave. You should only feel guilt if you do something else than doing what makes you happy. If reading manga makes me happier than meeting up with friends than readon manga is what I should do.
The game problem you have is just something that comes with ages and it happens with everything we do because things will always get more boring the more often we have seen or done them. The oversaturation of the maket makes it worse, not better. Try maybe different genres for a while or quit games for a few months and do some other hobby or search for another hobby if you don't have one.
Why would you want to? Most stuff nowadays is shit. I'm 31 and a lot like you, but when a game strikes me, its back to the old days.
Rimworld and Kenshi are the only 2 I've played and really enjoyed.
BOTW and Horizon Zero were good, but not something I truly loved.
iktf bro. I don't really enjoy games as much anymore, but I play because I never had any hobbies outside of it
I try to pull all-nighters but my body is too tired now to endure them.
I'm always sleepy, all the time...
Maybe try frequenting Yea Forums.
You know what, I had this very problem with anime ages ago when I was still part of some anime forum. I spent my days overanalysing everything to death to the point in which watching anime turned to work. Even if I didn't wanted to I always analysed every fucking scene and stone until I lost every bit of love for anime and couldn't get into any series again.
Thankfully one day, I got permabanned. It took me another year or so to normalize, but after that I started to enjoy anime again. Because I didn't think meta about them anymore or compared them with each other. I just clicked on a file and watched it. I never discussed anime seriously ever again after that. I post on Yea Forums but only about series I like and most posts are some fanbullshittery because sharing my enjoyment about certain series or characters and reading anons who agree make me enjoy it more.
Try being less serious and overanalytical and more childish again. It helps.
*Maybe try to stop frequenting Yea Forums
I am retarded. The most important part was skipped.
I spent 5 hours browing reddit today and yet i cant find the energy to work on my game or play videogames for even one fucking hour.
Reddit makes it worse I think. Aren't they even worse than Yea Forums regarding discussions? Also it might be just me, but I find the structure of that board incredibly annoying. I once tried posting there despite all the reddit hate on Yea Forums, but it was impossible, even reading it annoys me. But anyway, the thing is that you should just stop talking about games like that in general. It turns hobbies into an asspain I think.
I've wasted most of my life on video games yet keep the fact that I play video games a dire secret and feel horribly ashamed each day I spend the whole day in my room on them.
When vidya comes up in conversation I play dumb and act like I don't really know what anyone's talking about or will go something like "Yeah I played some call of duty and halo on the xbox occasionally with my friends way back in high-school."
I own a very decked out expensive gaming PC but it's all hidden inside an old Dell optiplex case and all of my peripherals are 'professional' looking understated non-RGB stuff so that when people come over and see it they just assume its for work and editing, or I tell them so.
Any time I see anything related to gaming or gamer culture I scoff and think: "Hah what a bunch of virgin losers" and " Jesus those people are cringe, literal children."
>bootin' up some Kenshi right now
Sorry im not who you were talking to. Anyway yeah i feel like im addicted to reddit and it fucking sucks, i am wasting my time and it fucking sucks. I have really bad FOMO, i feel like what if i miss put on important news or something. It fucking sucks.
I could have played games today, i could have work on my game but instead i wasted 5 hours on reddit like an idiot. Fuck me.
The only cringe ones are people too afraid to show what they like to fit into the normalfag non-culture.
>Any time I see anything related to gaming or gamer culture I scoff and think: "Hah what a bunch of virgin losers"
I mean you arent wrong, gaming culture is cringe as fuck. And i mean everywhere, from Kotaku, Polygon to r/games and r/kotakuinaction. It is fucking cringe. At least i know people on Yea Forums admit to being shit.
Literary the only good thing about gaming culture is cute cosplaying girls.
I ain't reading all this shit
>tfw video games consumed so much of your free time that you never developed interests in anything practical or that would lead to a satisfying career
Feels bad. My parents were so hopeful that I would get a job in "game design" or something like that since I spent so much time playing vidya. But it turns out playing vidya doesn't necessarily mean you'll be interested in making/programming vidya. Turns out it's just a really, REALLY effective way of passing the time.
I wish I could still play vidya guilt-free, and there are days when I can sometimes lose myself in them the way I used to. But there's always that nagging doubt in the back of your mind. That voice saying "YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME! YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE! OH GOD DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" And you can't get rid of it. You can't get rid of the knowledge that others have done "more" with their time than you, even though you know it's a silly concept and you should just do what you want and damn what others think.
You never had a real passion for the hobby to begin with. Being "grown up" does not involve worrying about what others think, or feeling guilt over what you enjoy. You got sucked into games for whatever reason, but it wasn't genuine passion. That's why you have space in your mind to dismiss games and not feel anything: because you never really cared.
My advice is to fuck off to some other hobby and stop shitting up Yea Forums with your blog post.
You're absolutely right. I have a level of shame and self-hate and wear such a huge mask that i'd accept it can probably be medically diagnosed. Otherwise, I lead a pretty inconspicuous and successful normal-fag life and my occasional aloofness and secrecy related to intense cover-up are seen as 'mysterious' in an interesting loner way.
yeah video games blow
~50 hours a year is enough for me
You probably would also never commit to monetizing that love for vidya through youtube/twitch or 'professional' leagues because you refuse to be part of the gamer culture, right?
The only time I ever made money from vidya was buying and re-selling Unusual Hats in TF2. Made around ~$11,000 and then got worried about Paypal investigating my account or something, so I stopped.
Never even considered streaming or doing Let's Plays. I have no charisma and I'm not particularly good at the games I play. Nor do I enjoy talking about what I'm doing as I play them.
>bootin' up some Kenshi right now
That post was real fuckin gay til you saved it.
>tf2 hat racket
wew, who knew...
Wow, what a totally universal phenomenon that all people go through in life. Thanks for this lengthy live journal of all your cliched existence. You sure are a sad and unique individual.
You grew up and your brain needs a more productive and intellectually stimulating activity or else it punishes you with boredom/guilty/sadness.
Pick up a fucking book, lift a fucking weight and go outfuckingside you bum.
this except start drinking
Only option for you is to start using drugs. I recommend opioids. They create a warm blanket and all you want to do is to sit and play vidya. Being an addict isn't that bad.
The problem is that you're full of shit my friend.
Same as OP. You're all full of shit.
So with this logic, I can either believe him or you it doesn't matter.
Unless you dweebs have any empirical data to support or explain this phenomena or the lack thereof in any way, then it's a pointless discussion.
For example, I can explain empirically why exceeding dopamine spikes and over-exhaustion of the adrenal glands from competitive multiplayer games override your pleasure center on a cellular level and you stop experiencing any joy from single-player games.
When i was younger i could only play half an hour on weekends, didnt bother to 100% games and during my teenages i put on cheats and rush fuck everything.
Nowadays im playing more games, play them to the fullest and even enjoy the challenges on top of that i can play all time the time i want.
You are just sad because life wont spoil you as hard as your parents did
I used to think the same way, ashamed of my background, and I love me some neckbeard shit like dungeon crawlers and roguelikes older than me. It's very easy to scapegoat every failure you have on vidya and treat it as something you wasted your life on, it's pretty normal actually but it's not the right thing to do. The best way to validate this aspect that you think you should keep hidden about you is to use it in a productive way to get what you want.
What if I told you I know a guy who picks up girls on the street and ends up talking to them about brood war and you'd never have to "hide your powerlevel" ever again. rsd max, look him up changed my life
>wojak poster
im not reading shit fag