SNAKE! You've defeated Metal Gear Rex... But can you defeat Metal Gear Flex?!

SNAKE! You've defeated Metal Gear Rex... But can you defeat Metal Gear Flex?!

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>Snake, watch out! That's Metal Gear Flex! He begins every one of his workouts with a core lift, the most efficient of all the compound lifts, meaning that his energy output to gains returned ratio is exponential. He's been lifting for years so there's almost no fatigue in any of his movements. Not only that but his recovery time is vastly diminished - he can move from one set of lifts to another in less than a minute. But most worryingly, he returns all of his equipment back to its proper place afterwards which means his etiquette is flawless! You have to be on guard around him at all times when he's flexing Snake otherwise you won't last long at all.

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Based Campbell poster.

Funnier than it should have been. Good job.

>Snake, the only weakness that Metal Gear Flex has is in his playlist! The gym that he attends is perfect in almost every way - private changing rooms, plenty of equipment and even underfloor heating during the winter months but like all gyms it suffers from having terrible music playing overhead so Flex has to bring his own music to listen to. It's flawless - each track perfectly matches his rest periods so that he doesn't have to bring a stopwatch or even look at the clock on the wall! But if you were somehow able to tamper with his playlist then it would mean all of his sets would be ruined! His motivation would suffer and not only that, he'd have trouble setting a new PB! That's your opening Snake!

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>I've never seen guns like those before! How can I possibly hope to do any significant damage to him!?

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>Snake, there's an ancient Chinese proverb which goes 'Rift arone, Die arone.' Roughly translated, it means that lifting is a collaborative effort. Metal Gear Flex doesn't achieve his gains on his own but rather thanks to a multitude of different factors, from proper diet to good form. In addition, he also require spotting during some of his core lifts - that means in case he fails during one of his sets, there's somebody at hand who can help to take the weight off. It's a safety practice enacted for years and helps lifters who work out together to develop a team attitude. If you could offset his patterns enough so that he needs spotting then maybe you could sabotage his lift and injure him!

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>Mei Ling's right Snake. The injuries Metal gear Flex could sustain during his routine are potentially devastating - he lifts hundreds of pounds per rep. If that weight were to come crashing down on him then it would be enough to cause serious hardware problems, not to mention cripple his range of motion for a significant period of time. When that happens then his ability to lift is compromised and there's nothing more devastating to Flex than being unable to lift - it cripples his self-esteem not to mention his sense of achievement. Without those he's as vulnerable as you or me. With your training, you should then be able to take him with without any problem. So get to it Snake. Quickly, before he re-racks the bar!

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>reddit "humour"
Cringe.

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Metal Gear Mex crosses the battle field!

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