Here's your controller bro

>That D Pad

Oh thats already going to be unreliable, I can tell

Jesus fucking christ that's disgusting.

Attached: cicero.jpg (400x300, 29K)

>now even your controller will have a microphone built into it recording you 24/7

Oh boy.

This

I don't get it. Why would they put money towards this? Was the steam controller actually successful or something?

>android 4.x buttons
Nice fake

Let me guess, it's an Android box to play Angry Birds and PUBG Mobile on the TV.

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>multi billion dollar company
>can't design a fucking video game controller
That looks like shit and it looks like it'll be fucking horrible compared to literally any controller on the market.

Looks cheap.

This controller proves that it will be an OUYA 2.0.
I'll pass, thanks.

Attached: 1551736703089.gif (480x480, 2.56M)

IT LOOKS LIKE FUCKING SHIT

Did the newly promoted diversity hires at Google steal the OUYA design?

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Yeah thats totally comfortable to hold in hands

>falling for cheap b8

That Dpad looks atrocious

Doesn't look very comfortable to hold. Any shots from the side or back?

wait wtf jewgle is making consoles now?

>NIGGA THEY ALL CIRCLE

There's a patent

Attached: Screenshot_20190309-154027_Drive.jpg (720x1280, 281K)

Yes
cnbc.com/2019/02/22/google-to-unveil-its-new-streaming-gaming-hardware-at-gdc.html

wow that looks uncomfortable to hold

good fucking christ that thing looks painful to use

Attached: 1536282316614.png (1064x935, 603K)

>you must enable location tracking to play this game
>you have been signed out of your Google account
>please enable 2-factor authentication to play this game
>you must sign in to the Play store to play this game
>select New Game - you must agree to the Privacy Policy to continue

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>size of the bone elite
>shape somewhere in the middle of a bone elite & pro controller
>dualshock stick placement, dpad placement & button placement
>looks like an ouya controller
Very creative

All they had to do was make it so that you could dilate with the controller handles and it'd fly off the shelves with multiple articles from Polygon and Kotaku about how it's revolutionalizing the gaming industry.

The hand grips especially look uncomfortable.

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T-that's uhm very comfortable I bet haha

Event isn't for just over a week and those don't look like Google style renders, I think this dude just made a thing based on the patent

Looks unergonomic as fuck. Did they hire the ouya designers to make this?

It looks like that pokken tournament controller

Source or it didn't happen

...

you can tell they have no clue what tey are doing lmao

that controller is the most unergonomic thing I've seen since the fucking sony boomerang

my hands

it's a streaming box to play AAA games for $50 plus a subscription fee

Think of all the metadata Google can harvest about your gaming habits to sell to other companies

Relax bro. Even after the singularity, no one will care enough about what you have to say to waste time or resources to spy on you.

It's not "real" just because some Twitter retard says it is, he made a shit render based on the patent

Boomerang was nice to hold, at least that's what I heard

This random coloring everywhere is going to be a problem when you designate your main 4 face buttons by color alone

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>100 billion dollar company
>comes up with this abomination

you can't make this shit up

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my hands are cramping

Absolutely wonderful. Who the fuck is going to take this seriously as a real platform when all those microconsoles failed miserably?

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>fucking google is making a console
>yet still no one has made a fully libre console that has been certified by the fsf to respect your freedom

>ayo press the red buttom
>AY WHICH ONE

My hands hurts just by looking at it
Jesus Christ

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>flat handles
Nice onlive reference, lads!

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>i think i will pick an all male cast
>error we believe you have made the wrong decision please try again

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Google got rid of their white males a while ago
Now only the most diverse get put in charge of decision making

>controller has no letters on it

>"press the red button to continue"
>coloblind niggas: what fucking red button?

Attached: file.png (600x338, 365K)

dumb idiots don't realize minimalism doesn't work for everything.

>red button is right
>red Dpad is down right
>red google logo is up
>red voice button is right

it's called a computer dumpass

That's a shit brototype some nigger came up with
The dimensions are comically wrong compared to the patent
And those camera angles and ugly shaders from blender
Fuck

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I heard the other search engines were also making a console.

>*BING BING YAHOO*

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>#GDC
I shouldn't've clicked the hashtag

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But gaming on a ThinkPad is dumb

How is streaming gaming even viable for most people? On a standard cable internet connection, your input would be lagging behind by a half second or more wouldn't it?

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>womxn
what

Supreme kek

Attached: k.jvgk;utgiujkgik.png (607x790, 382K)

>tfw you can't tell if "womxn" is a weird typo or some newfangled tumblr word
Where did everything go so horribly wrong?

I wouldn't mind steaming a turn based game like Civilization.

ANOTHER COLOR SCHEME
For fucks sake

Attached: Screenshot_20190309-215448.png (501x564, 184K)

it's for people who live in big cities and are close to servers and databanks

Guys, for the love of God, don't be too critical until it's too late for them to fix it

This is a top tier pun

>One of the largest companies in the fucking world
>This is the best they can come up with
Why the fuck wouldn't they just copy an xbox controller and make very slight changes? I just don't understand how something like this gets made

good luck to people with color blindness

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CARLOS

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>tfw Googlebox 360 sends everyone your browser history

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half second? Is your ping literally 500ms? Most people's pings are like 30-80ms. Game streaming has been done already, there have been gaming streaming services for over 10 years now.

Hipsters inside Silicon Valley don't realise that streaming games is largely unfeasible for the rest of the world, and games as a service is a terrible idea.

the only thing i hate. Should have just kept xbox color scheme. I lvoe everything else tho. I wonder how the joysticks feel.

>be colorblind
>"Press the Red Button to continue"
Based google

Fantastic

OKAY GOOGLE, OPEN THE GODDAMN INVENtoRY!

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>huge flat dpad
>smoll buttons with yet another made up layout convention
>shitty shoulder buttons
>mike and ike start buttons
>poor transitions between sides
>wide and short palm rests
>smooth, angular thumb sticks
>symmetrical thumb sticks
Does this controller do anything right?

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Looks pretty garbage but I'm sure it will support BT controllers so maybe not a big deal. I'm more worried about the games.

>rest of the world
My gigabit fiber internet says hello from the eastern european bloc.

Good one, m8

Attached: 76800.png (500x339, 311K)

>"Press the Consent button to continue"

Attached: 1512883818700.png (804x802, 137K)

Knowing how shit google is with named it will be called the “RED FRUIT THATS NOT COPYRIGHT ” “berry” “banana” and “avacodo”

It's white.

>>press red to spit on google

>tfw google starts throwing around assloads of money for exclusives for this piece of shit
>Dragon's Dogma 2, MGS6, RE8, and FFXVI all launch as Google streaming exclusives and can't even be pirated

Well no, but 80ms is still way too fucking slow for many types of games. Plus you have to consider that its 80ms for your input to transmit to the hardware and then 80ms back for the audio/video feed to reflect it. I dont see how this type of thing would be viable for many people who don't live in places with google fiber infrastructure or similar services.

Surely you can't wait to play all those games on the Google Play Store on your big-ass TV?

Seriously, can developers just be nice and have some sort of universal color scheme and setup? You can be creative and unique in other areas

No, it's Irish

Unless this controller is a lot smaller than it seems, aren't those sticks kind of hard to reach?

>no fingerprint detection pad
>no webcam device built in to the controller to snap you and your room while you sleep
Welp, it's slightly better than I thought it would be.

Attached: NYA.png (512x512, 614K)

No bone
No snes
No snoy

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>the central G has a color scheme with a color assigned to each cardinal direction
>both the dpad and buttons rotate it around for no fucking reason
Stop. Just stop.

It's the same as the SFC/N3DS/Standard Nintendo diamond.

What ring? It's probably going to be a fucking emulation box for Android and/or iOS.. literally the next Ouya.

>handles are short, flat, and wide
disgusting

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What do you think the joy stick is for?

wtf I see two grey apples

>Google can now spy on me 24/7 with their push into gaming
Wow Google-chan, very cool!

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This looks like it'll feel like holding a plate.

i think you might be colourblind then

>all that noise
especially this one, what an awful render
totally looks professional

fuck am I gay too now?

Reminder that this isn't anything official, it's just a render someone has done based off of an image from some patent squatting Google is doing.

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>tfw your controller had parma violets for buttons

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Probably.
It wouldn't surprise me if you also had AIDS too.

I remember the Ouya.

god dammit

Peep the patent
pdfaiw.uspto.gov/.aiw?PageNum=0&docid=20190030425&IDKey=406C9F0865B2&HomeUrl=http://appft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1%26Sect2=HITOFF%26d=PG01%26p=1%26u=%252Fnetahtml%252FPTO%252Fsrchnum.html%26r=1%26f=G%26l=50%26s1=%252220190030425%2522.PGNR.%26OS=DN/20190030425%26RS=DN/20190030425

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youtube.com/watch?v=QY5yG2KyQfM

it's basically a playstation controller

and that's a bad thing

Doesn't sound that bad
If you have good internet but dont want to buy each game individually I can see this taking off
Just hope streaming doesn't overtake regular games

But nobody uses those

>it really is just a pokken controller with analog sticks
367 BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY

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It's basically xbox you ass.

>splash screen has the sjw doodle of the day
>always listening
>always watching
>always online
>always signed in
>sends all usage meta data to google
>underpowered
>no gaems
>"sorry I can't help with that yet"
>all games censored
>avatar is randomized, but never white by default

pimg-faiw.uspto.gov/fdd/25/2019/04/003/0.pdf

how did they fuck this up so badly

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Heuh?

>Apple Pippin 2.0

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is google going to be making their own games that can't just be played on an android device? I'm really scratching my head here

>avatar is based on the botnetted knowledge of you and the designated racemixing partner they chose for you and will automatically match you with in games

phone games and cloud streaming, they had a beta test using ass creed odyssey not too long ago

I'm guessing it has something to do with google's streaming service that they tested out.

They're making their own console, so they're doing a controller for it too. And somehow the console looks uglier than the controller.

so what you're saying is that it's a useless paperweight?

goddamnit you fucking spic I payed you to mow my lawn not to make shitty jokes

Isn't this just the OUYA?

yes, soon to be abandoned like all other google tv products other than chromecast

Pretty much.. You can't just jump into the console market like that either. It's to late for that shit.

But what I think might save it, MAYBE, is the pricing for the streaming service and the size of it's library. And maybe also how the console itself looks. Judging by the controller the answer it's clearly gonna horrendous.

Ouya 2.0

why

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Looks fucking horrible...
OH NO NO NO

Finally! A controller that is comfortable for the average gamer like me!

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already exists tho

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man, what the hell were they thinking making the dpad a touchpad instead of an actual dpad, controller would have been great if they changed that

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Is that controller actually good with no anal sticks and the left stick being replaced by a touchpad?

Disgusting..

Right* stick not left.

Man what the fuck. At least they got the symmetrical joysticks right. fuck that asymmetrical garbage, causes fucking thumb cramps and carpal tunnel.

The steamcon is weird, it's better than a normal controller at most games once you create a good profile, but it's shit for other games. Takes a lot of getting used to too.

Aren't these sometimes placeholder illustrations?

they got them half-right, because they're concave, not rubber, and at a bad angle

>rest of the world
Try rest of the country. I live in the "Silicon Valley" and I can't get any internet worth a damn. I'm stuck getting jewed by Comcast and their shitty data cap. Maybe this would be feasible Jewgle wasn't getting outjewed by ISP companies.

That looks terrible to hold.

Almost always.

This is just some fag's shitty renders based on those drawings.

It looks too wide, like it would be incredibly uncomfortable to use even for people with big hands. Plus it's Google, so it probably collects data on inputs.

same as SNES

This person should just use an xbox adaptative controller.

What's up with those insect hands

Set top box to stream Vidya
As simple as that

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But at least it isn't a completely new scheme or the Dreamcast one

I hope this thing bombs, I really don't want streaming consoles to catch on

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Nintendo do, and that's their biggest direct competitor.

That said, these renders aren't official, so it means nothing.

Cherry

>reveal the controller
>not the actual console

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>Nintendo color scheme
?????????? Nintendo's was 4 purple buttons

that looks like the least ergonomic shit ive ever seen. the sticks look like they could be pretty good though. not sure what to think of the dpad

Streaming is the future, simply because it removes piracy entirely
Industry is trying to go back to the times of the radio, but with movies and games
They don't want you to own anymore

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Why the fuck isn't anyone copying the GOAT controller layout?

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that's the worst if you don't play first person games

>literally the pokken tournament controller deluxe

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see

why should i look at a fan controller?

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she cute

Unless google is gonna waste billions getting Americans Tokyo tier internet this isn’t going to work

I see your crystal treatment is going well.

Why would you want your stick in the wrong place? There copying the best controller without breaking patents. Now if they just add a disk drive and do away with the streaming

there are literally millions of things that you can stream illegally. Still plenty of piracy in the streaming world.

cute[\spoiler]

Ofc but that's just movies and shows
Wait until you can pirate game streams
It will take a while the same as with codecs

what kind of giga zoi ok'd this? anyone who doesnt work in a cubicle or works out would snap this in half within a month

I didn't think someone could intentionally make a controller more uncomfortable than the playstation ones but looks like they did it.

Attached: 1547525180558.png (245x267, 107K)

the button position is more comfortable for every game

>Yea Forumstards really think they ever owned anything

They'd be released cross-platform in

Attached: colorblind test.png (600x338, 331K)

It will fail, the services don't work for games like fortnite and those players are the only people retarded enough to pay for this.

playstation controllers are the best.

This is the worst controller i've ever seen, even that fisher price one people shitpost all the time looks better than this.

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So how does this streaming work?

so wtf kind of console is this, are they trying to compete with sony/ms, or is it just a shitty android console

took me 10 seconds lol

I hope so user

Are people still falling for this shit?

It's just shitty fake looking renders made by some twitter shit based on the patents,

>make a colorful joke online 10 years ago
>deletes all your saves, revokes your ownership of games, bans you for life, bricks console, calls the cops and leaks your tranny porn to your friends list

They could show a symbol like this to indicate which button to press. It would be easier than remembering which button is X on this specific controller

Attached: file.png (138x135, 1K)

looks like the type of controller an evil guy from super hero movies would have

If that's a motherfucking PUSH TO TALK button instead of a "please provide us free publicity" Social media button, then I might actually use this controller. Maybe

It's the speech to text assistant button they use in everything.

stop pretending

>press yellow
>yfw you want to push the top button the first hundred times

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it's just for voice commands

Fuck off, Cobblepot!

half life 4 confirmed

>extremely bad and fake lookign renders with huge jpeg compression
>all those responses

2019 Yea Forums is hopeless.

Do you really think google can't into a controller. rofl. Google.

xbot

This is what happens when you let trannys hold important roles in something.

I didn't know about this, pics?

>129 posters
>Almost every single person thinks this is a real controller

That's an eyebrow-raised, disheartened yikes from me dawgs

Well then it can fuck off. I'm still happy with my 360 controller and I have a pristine Xbone controller still in the box from a friend when that finally dies on me, which should take a long while because I take care of my shit.

I'm good for controllers for five years at least, unless they release something phenomenal.

I use an xbox controller for PC gaming. for some reason Dualshocks don't always play nice with my pc and sometimes refuse to connect unless I restart my whole damn computer.

Though admittedly, it will probably change considering the controller has.

Attached: 0-2-e1530532715342[1].jpg (416x253, 15K)

Never underestimate the effort people put into extracting resources from you.

>You think OP image is real
>You also think that is real

It's dawning on me, the fact that I can control people like you and manipulate crowds of you into doing whatever I want. Pretty effortlessly too.

Did anyone even test this thing? Looks uncomfortable

It's not real, it's a render by some twitter nobody based on patent drawings, like that shitty render someone made before the switch was revealed.

Still mad that the controller for that system doesn't work on PC.

It's still so fucking comfy and I can't play a single damn game with it

Not exactly. These are renders from an independent designer based on the drawings in the patent.

That's a mockup using the Zaber Sentry mini-ITX case as a basis. Very unlikely Google would use that.

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>It's still so fucking comfy

we are reaching new heights in trolling

Wow it looks about as comfortable as holding a slab of marble

Just like your brain has the evaluative capacity of a broken piece of marble

woah, fukkin SICK BRO

Just what i always wanted! A console that watches me, and collects all the data on me.

Looks like it's botnet

Switch games already do this

>all the other apples are still red
3/10 see me after class

These are mockups created by RepsUp100, not from Google.

This is the only part that's from Google:

>Poogle
>Fuck ergonomics lmao
wow

Mexican women?

>it's real because some literal who tweeted about it

Xbox and Ouya had one hell of a retarded baby, god damn.

based jew user

extreme terrible

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>outing yourself as a lazy retard

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Tell me why there isn't one single credible gaming news site reporting on this then?

I was about to say this shit.

google would never design something this tacky

Niggers figured out of to steal satellite TV
Don’t doubt them ever.

Why does everyone keep using off brand dualshock designs? the steam controller at least tried something

The logistics of streaming playable games just doesn't make sense and it has failed each and every time. The practical backend analogy of Internet Cafe's have also failed.

Google is retarded.
Google is very retarded.

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no need to reinvent the wheel

those are ultravision apples

It won't take off because like 60% of Americans still don't even have access to superfast broadband.

Rural retards don't deserve anything nice. There's literally no problem running these services in major cities only (where you know 99% of the customers are) with servers that are around the corner.

This ain't a wheel though, it's the same tired control scheme that's been used for at least two decades now

Didn't think a controller could make me dread the future. Well played Google.

>Hurr Durr Let’s alienate the vast majority of our customers!
Retard.

throughput has little effect on latency, brainlet

because they surround themselves with yes men and can do no wrong. Microsoft did the same with Metro tiles for windows 8.

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Every facet of the logistics don't add up to profit, it has almost nothing to do with latency even if there was a low latency target market.

Someone has to buy a $2000 gaming rig to play the newest games at the best quality. Instead of the consumer doing it, the service provider does. If even 1 million people wanted to use this service, that is 1 million $2000 rigs. That costs 2 billion dollars even before plugging in the power, much less upkeep and upgrades. No company or entity is rich enough to front the bill on subsidizing a population.

The closest analogy are internet cafes which have nearly disappeared entirely by this point. They front the bill on buying rigs in bulk then try their business plan of charging fees to use, but they've nearly all closed down and weren't profitable.

Servers can handle hundreds if not thousands of simultaneous connections of a single server rig, but video games are not video content. 1 person is a unique individual gaming experience requiring their own dedicated hardware.

That server just around the corner is hosted along all the other servers for the video streams too.
Ever heard of contention ratios? Netflix et al already created a network peak hour. Guess what happens to your latency at max congestion?

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The Switch does this and it's amazing, I prefer it over remembering letters and symbols across different devices, FFXV also does it on PC if it doesn't recognize your controller or something, it's so fucking good.

I might need a band-aid after holding that.

>that is 1 million $2000 rigs

Do you really think they just have a huge room of normal PCs hooked up for you to remote into?

>yfw they have a booth in the E3 parking lot like the Ouya did

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How else does one get top gaming performance, nignog?

The shit they dont need is the shit that isn't that expensive to begin with: monitors, keyboards, speakers, etc. Even jam crammed into a server rack doesn't change the fact that there seems to be a divine underestimation of what it takes to run a single AAA game at prioritized high graphical settings. Each user of the service would require their own GPU,CPU,RAM, and motherboard. Again, someone has to buy the fucking $2000 rig and no subscription service would be profitable without first being prohibitivelt expensive to start up much less continuously run with upkeep and upgrades to the hardware. Its less than a pipe dream. It's just retarded.

You really think google can't afford a decent booth?

it will never be viable is completely retarded

sometimes i have to plug in the cable because if the game gets intense i feel the lag from the bluethooth and this retards think they can fucking stream games.

i mean sure it can work for more relaxed titles like tomb raider and rpg's but imagine playing a fucking action game on stream or a platformer

you can tell that people who think about this console streaming shit does not actually play games

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Who project stream and GeForce now master race?

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I cringe whenever I have to use their search engine and they expect me to buy their console?

L M A O

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> you have to drink a can of mountain dew every time you play a game to authenticate it

Sony won't kick my door down and take my physical copies.

bro, you can get it to work with xbox controller mapping programs for PC. try it out!

Anybody else feel like this is just another idiotic ploy to control how we enjoy vidya? If you stream the game, they can kill it unless you're an authorized partner or some shit. Banning you from your games for saying something negative in the forums / in-game / social media. Like, why would I trust a silicon valley company to uphold their end of any financial agreement, including a license to play a fucking video game?

That's not even considering how incredibly fucking retarded it is to think that their servers can process input, render, and upload back to thousands of clients at once without hideous up-front and on-going costs. Yeah, a company can get a 100 gigabit connection nowadays, but good fucking luck making the hardware work without combusting or straight up faulting every 5 minutes.

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I’m having flashbacks to the ergonomic nightmare that is the Ouya controller

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can control who gets to play with good boy points and mods will cease to exist to prevent players from creating their own content that could be problematic

Here's your beer bro

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>streaming games, ever
Please tell me people aren't retarded enough to fall for this and make it popular. Please tell me people aren't willing to give up even more control of what they buy. Please don't tell me people would tolerate the input lag which is the absolute worst thing you could introduce into an interactive medium

Please

Just use an ethernet cable bro

>those handles

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