Claim it in the name of Warhammer 40k thread

>Eldar waifus

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Why would you want to get into the guard, seem like a death wish

For the Emperor!

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I have a plan. A final plan.

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>still no good 40k video game
>SoB plastic models all have SJW-approved faces
GW fucking shits. I want to purge for the Emprah already.

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Why would you want to join the army
And don't most guards fight other humans or act as a garrison?

>models all have SJW-approved faces
What?

What about space marine or bfga 2

Imaging those guys flying back and forth in the air cause of enourmous feedback.

<

To clarify I want to be the Nuns with Guns.

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Holy shit

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I don't get how these are sjw approved faces besides the negro-nosed one

By those weapons, it would look like this.
youtube.com/watch?v=curJY68VT2Y

yes?
w40k always have fugly female models

How do I get good as orks in DoW?

fugly models.*

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They have no excuse when there are models with better faces and for cheaper (I'm speaking mostly from what I seen of old WHFB minis, new AoS ones and their competitors).

Angron honestly did nothing wrong.

But aside from the bottom right all of those look great? the hell you talking about

Nobody in 40k thinks racism is bad. Even the Tau rank everyone who isn't Tau as the lowest caste in their system. Orks believe that everything unorky needs to get killed double quick (Except Yarrick, he's the only human they consider Orky.)

And Eldar and Imperium are super racists but express it in different ways.

>when there are models with better faces and for cheaper
this was always the thing and still they were always fugly as fuck
you barking at wrong tree

>GW
>better faces
you are sourly mistaken

Just made a bunch of 40k tts crops

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Nice

God EVERYTHING about that model sucks. The fucking moonshoes that the other flying guys got, the tiny fucking winglets that would do nothing and the fuckhuge cannon which they could never possibly fire without spinning into the ground.

And this is supposed to be Cawl's answer to deploying heavy weapons into combat zones from orbit. Because it's not like drop pods have been doing that same job but better and with more variance in what can be delivered. I'm an Admech player, he's my only named character and I still hate that fucking faggot, everything from Fall of Cadia is like 40k's Age of Sigmar to me, a whole new game with stupid fucking lore.

Thanks, user.

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I'm saying that there are competitors who make better looking stuff.

Number 4 on the top row is the sexiest.

>Sigmarines

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Based and Sabbot-pilled.

you don't understood
its glorious tradition to have costly and fugly w40k shit
are you sjw and want to destroy it?

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Why is emperor text to speech the best fan made series? Been rewatching the latest episode a few times and I keep laughing. Also would appreciate more vulkan and corvus eps.

>costly and fugly w40k shit
GW should be out of business...

Does it include your forehead nipples?

but it isn't
praise the empra

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Just made another one from request of the /tg/ thread.
Brotrip episode 2 is the next one.

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fucking tard, it's called artstyle
none of the models have conventionally attractive face, it's not your shitty anime character figmas or whatever
retard

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while I agree that they looks shit, they don't hover around to shoot etc
they use those jumppacks to quickly gain a good position where they can deploy those cannons at maximum efficiency

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Most get sent to other planets over and over until they eventually get killed, also other humans they fight are chaos infecte

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Someone spoonfeed me the basics of 40k i always lurk these threads and i glean enough, but i feel like a chinese peasant looking at the british empire

I would love to see more bros enter the fold. In all honesty, I wouldn't mind GW bringing more Primarchs out like what TTS is doing. I'd accept the BS.

>Kittens errand has him running into Girlyman

In short: everything is fucked.

no

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i love it already, tell me about the dead dude that flies the ships

saving that

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>Kittens errand has him running into Girlyman
More like they'll run into the Dark Angel inner circle that has been heading for Mars for quite some time now.

Flash Gitz rush

My hand is craving for some demon misbehaving

Well leman is busy with emperor 2 electric Boogaloo. Khan will be dragged out by the ultrasues. Ferris manus will get revived by the machine kitten us going to get. He'll be put in a cherub. Lion is just gonna appear with sanguinius and emos will be famgasming over his favorite bird boy. Dunno bout the heretic prims though.

I just bought the corebook. Most of it is online and better described anyway but having the explination of rules and how phases work without running to my phone is good.

What do you need clarification on?

So who here is waiting for Chaosbane? Am I the only one?

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*blocks your path*

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japs make warhammer manga?

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I would wait, if I could play as a dark elf in it...

I'm just interested in the story of it all to be honest, I'm terrible at strategy anything but the story involved in all this stuff, from what I read coming into the threads and looking at the artwork, is really interesting so I just get whatever I can really.

Did the same with a lot of Warcraft. Don't play the mmo but I played Warcraft and I still keep up to date with the story

Oh boy...
40K is sci fi mixed with fantasy. The world is a free for all war between the factions. Humans worship the emperor of mankind, who being kept alive in the golden throne by sacrificing 1000 psykers (think jedi powers) per day for him. He is also the one responsible for human FTL travel so he is keeping the human race alive. Space Marines are space knights, divided into chapters each with its own culture and are the poster boys of the franchise. Everything sucks and there is only war btw

Dude made by a thousand shaman ghosts fucking after world went to shit. Remade humanity and did grand shit until betrayed by his favorite boy.

Now he is a Skeleton whose farts are a cosmic beacon to ships that is maintained by thousands of psychics that constantly explode and are replaced.

He's gonna get BTFO when they'll release the Lion model.

That last panel for done reason reminds me of team skull from pokemon.

God, the idea of black legion marines acting like team skull makes me lauhh

>40.000 years since Jesus Christ, everything sucks.
>Mankind is dominated by the Imperium of Man, a teocratic decadent shell of it former self.
>Their worst foes are the forces of Chaos, bloodthirsty madmen set into turning reality into a bigger shithole for the glory of the Chaos Gods.
>The Imperium is also hostile with alien races, most of them are dicks too.
>Orks, leftover of a biological weapon who only desire perpetual combat.
>Eldar, ancient masters of the galaxy whose decadence destroyed their empire and gave birth to one of the Chaos Gods.
>Necrons, robotic ancient foes of the Eldar and Orks, they seek to reclaim their lost holdings at all cost.
>Tyranids, bugs from beyond the galaxy who seeks to eat everything.
>Tau, the only race who does not want total genocide on everything and doesn't have stagnant technology, but they fight to take over the galaxy for the Greater Good.

Choose which faction you like and kill everyone else, have fun.

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guys i think i like 40k now

>>SoB plastic models all have SJW-approved faces
So you've clearly never bought a model in your life if you think this is a new development.

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If my pc weren't broke I'd write s fucking wall. Would be enough to describe 1 character. Which we could have wall of china's of text to explain 40k lore.

1d4chan provides a lot. Book has a somewhat helpful guide to it on how the recent changes happened. To hard to describe while Phoneposting.

But basically, Humanity rose to a high peak before half of the Space Marines discovered how cool Chaos was and turned on everyone. Emporer mortally wounded became spooky skeleton mentioned earlier and more shit happened as the empire declined after 10k years. TTS is kinda jovial but right in how the setting is as well. So that is worth a watch

exhentai.org/g/1252391/fcf2ef771d/
only doujin.

40k is losing its art grit

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Oh god

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Just like most traitors Primarch except Lorgar, Perturabo, and Kurze.

youtube.com/watch?v=cy4CJ4F-epA

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>can't buy the wargame because I live in SA
Well, which games besides Space Marine and Dawn of War do you heretics recommend?

If you like turn based strategy and can catch it on sale, Armageddon is pretty good.
store.steampowered.com/app/312370/Warhammer_40000_Armageddon/

The fan animated series of the offical naration of the book is pretty fun watch, too
youtube.com/watch?v=1D4jr-0_COg

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warhammer total war

Mechanicus
Battlefleet Gothic: Armada 1 and 2.

Baby Ogryns

HABEEB IT

Literally just watch the linked YouTube video- it’s the DEFINITIVE intro to warhammer, literally put before their books as the mini intro to the setting.

Ogryns!?

how do I motivate myself to paint? had 3 boxes sitting in my desk drawer for months

>page 9
WITTINESS YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOMM

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Thanks guys. Is Inquisitor - Martyr any good?

Who though he was a fair boss fight?

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*solos you with damage reflection cheese in a matter of seconds*

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What was the best betrayal in Chaos Rising? For me, its Avitus

Ok for a Diablo clone and once on a blue moon the devs add new stuff.

I've been out if the loop a few months and THIS is what gw come up with??

user, I'll need a new thread.
This one is dead.

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Avitus=Tarkus>Jonah>Thaddeus>Cyrus>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Martellus

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Who is hotter, Patience Kiss or Bequin?

>I'm Ghoooosss
Latest episode was great

Bequin
t. Gregor

>expandable

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oh no ugly people in MY game setting?
finna watch me dab on you 1989 style

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Reminder guilliman didn't turn out a total fuckup like most primarchs because he had mommy and daddy figures who loved him dearly

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Why is everything in wh40k built around daddy issues?

more my dude?

Where the heck can I read part 3 of this? The story isn't even that good, but I really want to know how it ends.

Don't have the whole thing but it's from some pre-release Dawn of War 3 comic

Comic itself is pretty alright, probably the only good thing to come out of DoW3

I'm claiming my 40k waifu!

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Play Dawn of war, it's a pretty good introduction to 40k. If you don't want all the expansions, atleast get Dark crusade, it has the best campaign.

-40 thousand years in the future

-The Emperor is in an eternal coma and worshipped as a god

-Tech is high tech but the ultra high tech has been lost through the ages

-Religous doctrine prevents any real innovation so tech is stagnant

-Humanity has colonized much of the galaxy by traveling through hyperspace

-The problem is hyperspace itself is like an infinite ocean made out of the dark side of the force and there is no way to know which way is io or down or which way you are going.

-the emperor sacrificed himself after a massive fuckup of trying to make hyperspace yravel easier but his psychic energy shined like a beacon in the warp like the north star to old time sailors so people can navigate the warp.

-but sometimes shit happend and people get lost or they get turned to the dark side since the hyperspace is radically darkside energy.

-these people become evil and cortipted and are deemed "heretics" by the imperium.

-Also the datk side (chaos) can manifest itself in physical form and are unstoppable mega gods in their own realm.

-But these gods and their minions (demons) cannot manifest themselves in our dimension directly. So they have to posess demon 'host' bodies to do it. (It kills the host)but these fuckers are super powerful

-Humanity also hates all aliens, officially.

-there are a bunch of alien races that want to wipe out humanity and each other.

-regular army are imperial guard. An army of billions.

>Genetically modifies super soldiers that live a thousand years (if they don't die in battle) are the space marines.

-The Imperial Inquisotion are like the FBI, CIA and KGB all rolled into one and they outrank everybody even space marines and presidents of planets and System Lords.

-psychic energy is like magic and does the same thing. It also makes you susceptible to the dark side (chaos) so the goverment will probanly either recruit you or imprision you as a danger to the public if the Inquisition sees fit.

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Didn't work out for Magnus.

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>tfw still waiting on my ultra mommy!

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I wanna make a thousand sons with her

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This is the first thing that comes to mind when Tau posters start preaching about the "greater good".

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Have your heretical waifu. I'll keep my pure one all day!

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To me its a lone Gue'la stopping a colon of Hammerhead gunships by standing in front of them at Unity Square.

>tfw no Total Warhammer 40k
>tfw no Imperial Guardsman Horror game
>tfw no Ork Loot Shoota
>tfw no Eldar May Cry
>tfw no 40kart (STOP BRINGING UP GORKA MORKA, I MEAN A VIDYA THAT IS ACTUALLY RELEASED)
>tfw no 40kombat
>tfw no Necron Tomb World builder
>tfw no Tyranid Hive Fleet manager simulator
>tfw no 30k Dynasty warrior game playing as the Primarchs
>tfw no Tau Battlesuit game ala Armored Core
>tfw Dark Millenium never ever
>tfw no Eternal Crusade but good

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>stopping

Guys, there is a sister of battle in my house!

F

What do you mean F? Am I gonna die?

>6'0 vs 5'11

Can you make one for minimagnus?

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well, why else do you think would a sister of battle be in your house?

Maybe she wants to teach me about the emperor?

>heretical waifu
Can I interest you in this pure smurf waifu? Emperor knows she's loyal

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they wouldn't have sent a sob to do that, just a regular adepta sororitas would do

I'm a proud liberal/sjw and I fucking love w40k. Don't bring your triggered /pol/ faggotry into this thread blessed by the God emperor

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Maybe she wants to make sure its done proper! Or maybe she wants to hear about how much better Gork is then Mork

>453762369
Nice bait

Faithful... enlightened... ambitious... brethren.

>implyin' Gork is betta dan Mork

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Is it weird the imperium hates mutants and genetic modification yet thats what the shpesh muhreens literally are?

it's ok when the emperor does it

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Thanks for the (you).

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Astartes were made by the Emperor's hand. Do you dare to call a holy creation "mutant"?

What would Yea Forums be like the 41st millennium?

exterminatused for nurgle/slaanesh tier heresy

Living in this craftworld I never learned to read only lift batteries for 16 hours a day so how would I know what a mutant is?

The Eye of terror

Hating other human beings over some chaos gods would be immediately considered heresy without question.

So, how quick would the emporium of man do a 180 when the big E wakes up?

Sure, keep the thread alive and give me a moment.

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I liked Space Hulk Deathwing
I also liked Space Hulk Ascension
I also liked Van Helsing
How is Inquisitor Martyr?

Kurze did nothing wrong, fuck loyamists and fuck deldars

I bet the inquisition would claim that the now-awoken Emprah is a false prophet and attempt to kill him. Theres a very good chance that the imperium's highest members don't want the emperor back. Not to mention the Tau spies that have infiltrated the upper echelons whispering positive propaganda about the Tau into the right ears

More Tau mary sue shit? Great

This is the best way to sum up most stone toss comics, except this has better art

They arent mary sues they just want you to think they are mary sues. Mind control and manipulation.

Taufags already drank the coolaid.

Death to the enemies of the false emperor!

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Shut up you.. you.. jerkface

who is the correct emperor?

Krillin

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Better quality.

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I wanted to shitpost about Bolter Bitches and fappin' to them, but these ones looks like my mom and it's weirding me out now.

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Please send pic of your mom to confirm

Your mom has a semen eye?

hmm

>Roboute and Dorn
>best friends
What fucking fluff are you reading?

Get these bionicle looking ass mother fuckers away from me

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Omnissiah

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I'd boop snoots with the salamander lass if you know what I'm saying
this is what I'm saying

Rolling for I am Alpharius!

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>tfw pc is dead
>tfw can't join the event

pls be loaylist

Technically that isn't racism, since they're different species

IF Get

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you think your life up till now will strike her as one lived in the glory of the emperor?
she's going to plug your existence as a drain on the empire's resources.

Well duh the emperor is a chump!

>Even the Tau rank everyone who isn't Tau as the lowest caste in their system
No they don't?

>no salamander gf
Why live?

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k

You always have a plan Magnus

Is it really sjw or GW not being able to make a female fir shit?

>Human-ork alliance
The galaxy would fucking shatter

emperor guide me

gib mommy magna plz

GW doesn't know how to make female faces for yeeeeeeeears. Oldhammer was just the same. The only one that looks passable there is the hooded version and the up far left.

Magnus ghost webm is done.
And while you're taking up the incredible offer of one webm, why not have two more for the low low price of free! Enjoy the animiated escepades of Simple Green, Oiled up Palace walls, and magnus exploding babies for absolutely nothing!

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>instead of making 20 giantess grills to conquer the galaxy with their thicc thighs and asses he made 20 beefcakes
why the emperor such a faggot?

You are a saint my man.

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You literally cannot create female clones with male DNA without the power of the CHIM which isn't applicable in the WH40K universe.

>women
>conquer

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Lets go

just duplicate the X chromosome and take the Y one away
fucking high school dropouts

I ain't hearing anything from you, you filthy xenosfucker

The Emperor tried, initially, but either chaos fuckery or whatever dark age of technology process he was co-opting fucked it up and wouldn't make it work. He didn't get too beat up over it or spend too much effort, though, because he still got 20 male primarchs out of it.

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>you can just duplicate a fucking 23rd chromosome's X without resulting in an expression of Kleinfelter's

>Get back in line, you fucking cis white male
What did GW mean by that?

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Oh boy it's outrage time.

only men can get klinefelter's so your clones couldn't get it since they'd be women

The process is far far more advanced than anyone here understands. It doesn't work for females and only the Emperor knows why.

muh dick

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WATCH ASTARTES
youtube.com/watch?v=g-MteECxZUY
youtube.com/watch?v=mfGPMJ8A0QY
youtube.com/watch?v=CMGRa4_UjE4&t=23s

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>makeup
kek

>makes an alliance with xenos
>does it with his dick
Jelly?

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But I LIKE sexy commissars. Much more inspiring to follow behind.

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we survived that kiddy shit it can't be that bad

I'M JUST WALKING WITH A GHOST
AND IS HE WALKING ROUND MY SIDE

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need more like this but with valentine box given to her instead

>One of his more amusing requests was that the Primarchs be made female instead of male, or at the very least, add female Primarchs into the mix. His primary reasoning was that it would largely deter conflicts within his children, as boys tended to have a competitive "dick-measuring attitude" towards each other, preventing them all from cohesively working with each other. Girls are generally more level-headed than boys and act more as the voice of reason in a family (according to a lot of people who don't have more than one daughter or sister), which would probably have eased some of the tensions that led to the primarchs despising each other. The Emperor eventually dismissed this, both as a joke and as an impossibility since the Space Marine gene-seed was keyed towards male subjects (He'd apparently tried to create female Space Marines at one point but it didn't work out).

>His refusal makes sense as the changes to physiology would effectively change supplicants into hyper-competitive dick-measurers anyway in terms of muscle mass, endurance, stamina, and aggression, what with the sheer amounts of testosterone needed for the rapid growth process. So, males it was.

Things would be different around here if Malcador was my Emperor >:(

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God Im so TRIGGERED by strong women

>trumpets blare as genestealer looks into the camera

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no, just disgusted. The Inquisition being send after guilliman when?

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Literally the entire MO of free booters and blood axes.

closeset I have of that of her is this

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DORN KICKING ROWBOATS STUPID SMUG FUCKING ASS FOR ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OVER THE IMPERIUM LIKE THE COCKSUCKING POLITICIAN HE IS FUCKING WHEN

good enough

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>Inquisition doing anything against him

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>which would probably have eased some of the tensions that led to the primarchs despising each other
I bet there's smut of this already

what the fuck are nid claws made out of that they can just slice through terminator armor at will?

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Who would own that smut?
Magnus, Fulgrim or Lorgar?

moar

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Yes

>women (especially siblings) always cooperate whereas men just compete
ok

the only other art I have from this artist about those characters, and it's just the space marine.

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Do you think astartes hentai doujin exists in 40k?

Okay anons, tell me.
How did we go from this:

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How? We've already had female inquisitors and commisars

WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS HERESY

to THIS

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It was sarcasm.
youtube.com/watch?v=XvGmOZ5T6_Y

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Ok, but can he or can he not take off his armour? And if not then how does he fuck his xenos ho?

Love CAN bloom, user.

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>I'm in love with you senpai!! the truth is I...

>white woman lusting after big black cock
typical

He can take off his armor. There was an entire book on the matter (though is was incredibly short)

THAT'S ONE BIG IRON HALO

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>stealth rolling
you ain't fooling anyone

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Please let it be one that actually likes fun.

>hour late to work because of 40k posting
Alright lads, I gotta go. Fun discussion, enjoy the webms and images and such!

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his helmet makes him look perpetually shocked

BY DORN'S HOLY FIST!

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you don't want to see what their grill looks like upside down, then.

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THE EMPERORS FINEST
AT GETTING YOU THE BEST HOUSING PRICE!

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>what the fuck are nid claws made out of that they can just slice through terminator armor at will?

The edges of the blade claws are as wide as a molecule.

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>no Dark Heresy rpg
>no Rogue Trader rpg with ship customization
>no Only War shooter

>yfw and you realize that bolter rounds don't purge xenos, motive force purges xenos.

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Dark Heresy Rpg would be so fucking easy to do, crist, i'm really surprised no one has tried it yet. It would work as a crpg, or a more modern bioware-style rpg as well. So why the fick is no one doing it?

>tfw no fantasy DoW

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why even wear armor then

epic, simply epic

It was a prophetic commentary about the troubles in our society caused by fatherless families.

>why even wear armor then

Because it still protects you from gaunts, flashlights, daemon swords, shrapnel, acid and a host of other things.

rollan for my waifu Fulgrina

Ian Watson's Space Marine was a fucking trip and a half. I miss books like that.

The Imperium has absolutely no issues with genetic modification. And the only mutations the Imperium is against are rampant, instable mutations that threaten human genetics. Ogryns and ratlings are ok because they are stable mutations that can't breed into the rest of the Imperial population. Space Marines are a-ok because they are genetically modified super humans, that again, cannot interbreed into the human population at large.

Are space marines bigger than regular humans or is it just their armour? Also how big are their cocks?

So Malcador was a massive white knight who never actually had been around women. Anyone who thinks women work together cohesively, or get others to work together cohesively, has never actually been around a woman.

>stable mutations that can't breed into the rest of the Imperial population
So not mutations then?
>Are space marines bigger than regular humans
lol

They're 7-7.5 ft out of armor
2 foot length, half foot diameter

rolling for the Emperor

Absolutely bigger without armour.

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>No Ultrachad xeno datingsim game

You're fucking retarNot wrong and I agree

I thought the Emprah was just a regular dude who was born by psykers sacrificing themselves or something

If this were to scale, I don't think there would be any opposition to the Emperor as a human. A fifteen-foot giant psychic clad in gold and fire would be enough to demoralize anyone attempting to defeat him in any aspect of combat.

Technically they are the result of mutations to the human genetic code.

>Enemies of the false emperor is chaos
>Death to chaos!
???

>oh shit guys he's big we can't win
have you SEEN daemons?

>"Have you seen demons?"
Nice try, Inquisitor.

Yes, therefore they would be heritable when reproducing with regular humans

He can increase and decrease his size at will. During the Great Crusade and Horus Heresy he was seen as that 15 foot giant god. Also the reason his face is like that is because most mortals cannot handle his mentle might on them. Those that are strong enough say they see him as the most beautiful thing they've ever seen, except it's based on person to person.

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No, Sir, I've never seen any demons ever

Yes.

But he's a psyker so powerful he can warp reality if he puts his mind to it, no pun.

He projects a psychic vision of himself which appears different to different people.

A blank, a human with a gene that makes them completely resistant to warp/psyker fuckery, apparently saw the Emperor as an old man.

>regular human is just the right height for primarch's dick sucking
what did the emperor mean by this?

read Ciaphis Cain

>wanting SOB to be le epin cute anime girls in space haha

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>He projects a psychic vision of himself which appears different to different people.
I wouldn't mind the emperor looking like the Goose

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wrfegfef oh ya

No, it would depend on exactly how the mutation occurred. Ogryns and ratlings cannot interbreed. This would suggest the mutation(s) is at the chromosomal level. Your logic would mean we can interbreed and inherit lion or even mushroom genes because, technically, all species are just result of mutations to the genetic code of whatever the base, first organisms were.

Return to good art WHEN??

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FUCKING NEVER

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>le evolution happens in a few thousands of years meme

Every single SoB is tsundere.

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Yikes and cringe

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>welp, time to buy Mechani- "2GB NVIDIA GeForce GTX 770 or better"
>tfw GTX 660 Ti it runs RE2 remake but dunno if I'll get lucky

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>not a full wallpaper shot
that's an oof from me, doof

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SOON
youtube.com/watch?v=udI19nj7fdc

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what the fuck does Mechanicus need a 770 for? It looks like I could run it with a fucking voodoo card

pls 90s

Holy fucking this. I'm surrounded by women and there's always one, albeit usually the same one, just rearing to go at another woman's throat. Though, for the most part, they're sweet as ever and the older more poor ones treat everyone as family. I sense either anti-social sentiment or comradery with the few guys. Just my anecdotal take on it.

>wallpaper
>Games workshop limited 2017. All rights reserved
lmaoing @ you

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>that live a thousand years (if they don't die in battle)
They're basically immortal by age, Bjorn the Fell Handed has been around since the great crusade, and Commander Dante might as well. In DoW2 Thaddeus is treated as just a newly made marine at "just" about a hundred years of service.

Fuck I wish that shit existed when I cared about Warham. Would love to paint that. GWs plastics got really damn amazing in a relatively short time.

Dante is over a thousand, and he feels like shit according to Devastation of Baal.

Bjorn was interred in a Dreadnought sarcophagus. And they only bring him out of stasis when shit has hit the fan.

Guess you weren't faithful enough.

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[the need to BLAM intensifies]

they might not have anything older when they tested it?