Criticize the console without revolting to bing bing waooh or wojaks and alike

Shovelware
Shit specs
Joycons are shit
Wii u pro controller was better than switch pro

What? The system already has like 5 of the best games this gen. Odyssey, Zelda, Splatoon 2, Xenoblade 2 and Smash Ultimate.

bing bing wahoo

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Nintendo_Switch-only_games

paid online when the WiiU was free
killed Miiverse
shitty finger smearing touchscreen instead of superior stylus touchscreen
both joycons and pro controller have a shit d-pad
no web browser when the WiiU and 3DS have one
no Netflix etc
le epic 1-2 switch

>bing bing
>loli squid girls
>weeb shit
>a shallow party game for young teens
>best games of the generation
I'm haffin a laff

Insult this console without memeing

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It has a shit ton of bad indy games that could, or are, be passed off as ports from mobiles, which while this console is TECHNICALLY a mobile in a semantic sense I think a console, especially from Nintendo, should provide a better example than what they provide.

For me it's a secondary to my ps4 that I use to play actually good indy games on (moon lighter, owlboy, hollow knight) that I wouldn't otherwise waste space to download on my ps4.

It's also for hulu.

Not enough quality first party nintendo titles for a 2 year old console

That’s a Meme and you know it

It sounds like a jet engine when it's reading discs

It sold that much only because it was a DVD player.

>Moonlighter, owlboy, hollow night)

All superior on the Switch.

most worthwhile exclusives are third person rollspam beat em ups and it gets tiring after awhile

The kick stand is awful
The Joycons have unnecessary features that make them really expensive.
Dock is ass and and a pain to set up
Still no analog triggers

JoyCon drift
Buying it with a big IP like Zelda or Smash, and then taking into account shit like controllers, screen protectors, cases and SD cards bumps it up another 120 bucks
Really bad resolutions, especially in portable (Xenoblade 2)
Some really shit ports that will never get patched (Valkyria Chronicles)
Overpriced Nintendo games(NSMBUD Dong Freeze, MK8) plus games that never go on sale for half-price
But I still love the hell out of mine and it will keep me busy between now and whenever the next PS5 and Xbone get revisions a la Pro/X

That's literally incorrect.

-Too many mobile-like games
-Many similar games (shooters, top down dungeons crawlers, etc)
-Games can't be directly transfered from the consoles memory to USB
-Not a lot of user customization (like wallpapers, themes, user pics, etc)
-The eshop is a mess and doesn't recommend you games based on your tastes
-The eshop puts indie games and AAA games together
-The eshop hides old, but good games in favor of new releases (finding Doom or Wolfenstein II requieres you to search for them)
-Online is subpar but cheap
-Not a lot of compensation for having to pay for only (yet, but still)
-Eshop offers suddenly change and you're not reminded of expiring deals or new deals coming to the store

Yeah, the eshop is a mess and should be revamped.
Can't believe Nintendo still has shitty online services despite having them for three gens now.

>Moonlighter
Fuck that game made me mad. Such a good base but overall a mediocre adventure with an absolutely stupid twist ending.

>indy games
>indy

Only sold well because the competition went literally retarded.

No, the Playstation starts selling well when they roll the first price cut, because the Latinos and Europoors flock to buy the system to play the latest Fifa and CoD.
That's the only thing the console is good for them: Fifa, CoD and GoW.

But the PS4 was doing extremely well since day one, again, only because Microsoft and Nintendo went full retard.

>extremely good day one
>again

Oh I'm laffin

Joycon D-Pad is shockingly bad. I don't want a pro controller either.

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>>again
What did he mean by this?

>Joycon D-Pad is shockingly bad.
Really? For me it turned to be a lot better than I anticipated, and I didn't have high hopes mind you. Even managed to complete Mega Man 11 in handheld mode without any issues.

Have to wait for it to update every time I turn it on to play a game (every couple months). Controller is really gay, it's the worst of two worlds (modern analog sticks/textures, and old Sony """ergonomics"""). Tries to be more graphically impressive than it should be and games suffer for it. Every other game is a shooter, even though that's not really Sony's fault but it's still not fun.

It's not a true portable console.

okay, here's my critiques as a switch owner:
>too big to truly be portable
>unergonomic to hold in handheld mode - i ended up buying a case with grips on the back to make it bearable
>piss-poor battery life, which used to be a dealbreaker for handhelds (see: the game gear) but is somehow considered acceptable now
>joycons have poor build quality, cheapest-feeling official controllers i've used since the dreamcast. "joycon drift" is a common issue.
>joycons have the worst "d-pad" in the history of d-pads, even worse than the gamecube controller's
>the worst online service in gaming is now gated behind a paywall
>no more virtual console, since people actually bought the nes and snes classics
>lackluster game library so far, with way too much emphasis on indies and ports from the wii u and 360/ps3. all the hype was that combining the home console division and the handheld division would result in more games. we've already had a year-long game drought straight out of the wii u era. where are all the handheld-style games?
the last direct restored my faith in the switch a bit, but overall, it hasn't lived up to the hype so far.

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overpriced, underpowered, portability is a gimmick holding the games back and the port infested library is shit

is mario rabbids worth 20 bucks?

The controller it comes with sucks and its far to large to be a proper portable console.

Also games like dead by daylight, rocket leauge, skyrim and doom have no buissnies looking or running that bad.

They killed virtual console to shill a shit subscription service.

If you like RTS games it's an excellent one, it gets compared to X-com a lot.

-Game library is mostly ports. Few exclusives.
-If one Joy-Con runs out of power and you're using both, there's no way to go back to the main menu to readjust your controller preferences. Yeah, you could get a pro controller, but these neon rectangles are what's packaged with the console
-no way to turn the console completely off with controllers; at best, you can enter sleep mode. You have to manually hold down the power button for true shutdown
-low base memory storage, you need to buy an additional SD card to download digital titles or play games with large disk space requirements
-kickstand is very delicate
-middling sound quality in handheld mode
-screen easily scratches when placed in dock; requires additional screen protector purchase

This is true for me.

I bought mine with the prospect of 'on-the-go' MP and Metroid eventually.

The former gets killed by the tiny screen and shitty children-sized controllers and Metroid go shafted for another 3 years or so.

Also, Daemon X Machina plays like shit. FF7/9 are shitty ports of the Android version.

Thinking about selling it.

>shitty hardware
>no games
>only 2D indie games as third party games
>muh "on the go" meme with a shitty battery
>doesnt make use of motion mechanics like the Wii did

Etc etc etc just talking about the Switch makes me yawn.

It has a shit battery life.
It's too big to be a handheld and too weak to handle majority of 8th gen titles.
It's almost always the weakest/worst of ports whenever it gets them, with very few exceptions.
It's overpriced as fuck at $300 to the point where even normalfags have stated that they won't get it because of its price point.
Its controllers are grossly overpriced at $70+ dollarydoos, especially the case with the Joy-Cons being $80.
It doesn't come with a fucking Pro Controller despite being $300.
The dock is overpriced as fuck for what amounts to a cheap shell with TV Out. The fucking thing doesn't even have a Ethernet port and only 2 USB ports meaning you're fucked if you use it for anything other than Smash.
Because of the "brilliant" charging port location, it can't be charged while in tabletop mode without dropping $20 on yet another charger or on a specialized holder.
The Joy-Cons are fucking godawful as standalone controllers due to the sheer closeness of the buttons/stick, tiny size, and fact that their existence means that a "mini" revision is unlikely, if not impossible.
The company that patented the D-Pad REFUSES TO MAKE A JOY-CON WITH A FUCKING D-PAD. Yes I know Hori made one, but it only works in handheld mode and has no haptic feedback.
Overpriced as fuck games, especially indie titles.
Games seldom if ever go on sale, and when they do, it's a pitiful 10-20% at best.
They fuck over anyone that buys physical with the Gold Points system by only giving them ONE-FOURTH of the points digitalcucks get.

More in a minute, this thread is about to die before I can unleash the rest of my autism.

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Shit single leg stand, shitty cheap plastic screen, sound in portable mode its awful, no d-pad (that would be another 60 dlls user) when the eshop its full of good 2d games, boring dashboard without any personality unlike wii/u and 3ds.Terrible online services, touch screen its underused every fucking time

Virtually no 3rd party support, paid online, unless you're holding it in a pro controller thing or on the tablet the joycons are uncomfortable, first run (that lasted the first 6 or so months) had multiple production issues, one of which I got hit with when I turned it on (joycon connectivity issues), the other of which I got hit when I traded it in (battery life is killed if you don't play it regularly)

Bad online you now have to pay for.
Switch tax
Smash Bros shitting the bed hard when it comes too content and sucking rosterfags off

>it's weaker than a 360
>charging full price for ports of games from like 8 years ago
>the joycons feels like cheap plastic shit

Even though it is a meme (LOL DEDICATED SHARE BUTTON) the fact that they replaced start and select with genuinely less useful buttons unless you live and breathe off twitter likes or reddit karma is kind of worrying (as is the fact that the Xbox One did the same thing)

It stripped away pretty much all the features that the DS/3DS/Wii/Wii U had to offer in terms of customization. Why the fuck can you not arrange your library, use custom backgrounds, have themes, customize fucking ANYTHING, or do literally anything with the thing besides look at snapshots?
WHY THE FUCK IS A 20+ YEAR OLD TECHNOLOGY LIKE VOICE CHAT AND IM IMPOSSIBLE FOR NINTENDO TO GRASP?
They have the gall to charge money for their piece of shit online service for a CHANCE to get "special discounts" on vidya software/merchandise which has yet to happen.
Some brilliant retard thought it was a good idea to remove the VC in favor of a dripfed NESflix.
The Pro Controller's lackluster D-Pad and how lame the controller feels for retro/indie games because of it.
The sheer number of overpriced ports and lack of GOOD original titles.
Nintendo once again failing to learn from their mistakes, becoming arrogant as fuck once again and releasing bare minimum "polished" titles that are grossly lacking in content on release or are overpriced Wii U ports. Case in point: Kirby Star Allies, Mario Tennis Aces, NSBUD, Freeze Dong, and Captain Toad

That's all I can think of on the spot. I'm pretty sure this damn thing has more glaring flaws that I'm ignoring.

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Do it. I sold mine in late 2017 and I lost no money. Shit boring console with no games at all.

Is it weird that I mostly play on TV and still prefer playing on the Switch? I haven't touched my PS4 in months.

I sold mine around a month ago or so. I tried all the titles everyone was hyped for like Odyssey, BotW, Splatoon, etc etc, but none of them interested me. I figured if I wasn't gonna like the things that were supposed to sell the console, I probably wouldn't like the third party stuff either. Though let's be honest, third party that's not indie is dead

I wish they had better options for voice. The Nintendo app sucks. Proper bluetooth headset support would be nice.

Controller sucks compared to the XBone, touch pad has potential, but it's largely unused.

>Touch pad has potential but is largely unused
Reminds me of something...

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When I play RE2, the fan makes more noise than the OST/SFX

I took it back to the store and bought it on steam, my PC has better performance and silent fans but I wanted to play on the couch =[

The emulator is almost done
youtu.be/ZOdW8oi8njQ
>Super Mario Odyssey playable on Yuzu
>BOTW on CEMU has been a straight upgrade from hardware for years
>There aren't any other games for it

>can't use HDMI out on battery
>off-brand USB-C cables fry the battery
>joy-cons have some of the worst drifting stick issues ever seen in a controller
>paid online with no party system or built-in voice chat
>ridiculous prices for controllers because of the required HD rumble, gyroscopes, and NFC reader (only one of which matters if any)
>low internal storage means resorting to slower SD storage
>ripped off the shitty PS4 UI over revamping the superior 3DS UI
>shittiest storefront on the planet with curation on par with Steam

I didn't even have to mention the games. I want a medal.

>gay ass share button
>glorified blu-ray and streaming player
>has to fucking update whenever I want to actually turn the damn thing on
>games need to be loaded onto the console, yet you still need the fucking disk. Why waste the fucking space then?
>AAA games are mostly bland, soulless trash. Get bored of them quickly
>my most-played game right now is the Megaman X collection, mostly because I can just hop in and play without a bunch of cinematic bullshit
>however, I have those games on several other platforms so that's a moot point

>Oh and add paid online to that.

Jack of all trades master of none library.
Controllers have shit battery life, and the console itself is loud as fuck.
Publicly endorsing pointless censorship leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
The overly bright led indicator, touchpad, share & screenshot buttons replacing Start/Select were terrible ideas.
Its controller is mediocre for 2D games despite its "D-Pad" being in a prime location.

A personal opinion, but it just does not have a strong enough exclusive library for me to warrant buying one. For me, it has Tetris Effect, which would also require PSVR, and that's about it.

>WHY THE FUCK IS A 20+ YEAR OLD TECHNOLOGY LIKE VOICE CHAT AND IM IMPOSSIBLE FOR NINTENDO TO GRASP?
here's the hilarious part on that: the ds lite had built in voice chat in 2006. the switch has pic related in 2019.
they have managed to DOWNGRADE their service from 2006, which was already shit back then, and still somehow justify charging a subscription fee for it. unreal.
>Some brilliant retard thought it was a good idea to remove the VC in favor of a dripfed NESflix.
you can thank every slack-jawed, bug-eyed nu-male who bought one of their "classic consoles" for that. nintendo got really arrogant when those cash grabs succeeded and started shutting down rom sites while ditching the virtual console.

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The joycon joysticks need to be bigger and have more room to move. It feels like you can't push it slowly.
The charger cable goes into the bottom of the console. If you want to play it while its charging, you need a third party stand or to play it in docked.
The stand for it needs to be more stable.
The joycon shoulders don't stick out enough.
The screen is too small for some games. Games like enter the gungeon and the end is nigh feel like there Isnt enough space to see everything, but that might just be because I'm spoiled by my pc setup.

I really like the console but these flaws are an annoyance. They don't make the experience terrible, but handheld feels mostly just meh compared to docked.

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It has nothing but first party, kid games and no one over the age of 14 could enjoy playing with one, without either playing with a kid, or being brain damaged.

>Charges $20 for fucking peer to peer
>Doesn't have usb ports on the included controllers, you have to play in tablet mode to charge them
>Charges another fucking $30 for the luxury of charging the controllers like any other console
>Still missing basic features like folders, themes, streaming services, etc
>Intentionally removed the option to back up save files so they could sell it later
>Removed the Virtual Console so they could sell it as a subscription, fuck you if you bought games on 3DS, Wii U, or Wii.
>Most games are just Wii U ports or sequels.
Every fucking thing about the Switch is a blatant cash-grab.
I have one, and it's nice, I like playing games on it, but fuck their shitty subscription "services", fuck their slow drip of ports, fuck their shitty low quality controllers that start drifting and need replacement sticks, fuck having a console without a fucking Ethernet port, fuck their $30 charging grip, and fuck their dumbass smartphone app.
Anyone who praises the Switch is praising microtransactions and subscriptions for nothing.

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great console but...

PSNOW is a literal scam in value
base model has heating issues
controller is arguably worse than xbox one
backwards compatibility is poor

most of all

Bloodborne is still the best exclusive

It's okay to say that it doesn't have games you like

>bad build quality
>no games if you own a wiiu
>too expensive if you consider accesories
>shallow online service

To be fair, all of that can easily be fixed. I want to get one, but i don't see the appeal in 2019.

fpbp

>ports are often late
>battery life is poor, less than 3 hours for zelda
>performance is drastically reduced in portability mode
>hd rumble is pointless
>lack of curation on eshop
>most arcade archives games are neo geo

Peripherals are expensive, no ethernet port, online multiplayer costs money with no large benefit, many games are like they are from the past generation. Most new games are enhanced ports, if you already enjoyed those games to their fullest, you probably won't buy them again, which makes the library very small.
The joy cons are very small in size, have connectivity issues and the pro controller has an awful d-pad, but the battery life is great. The console has limited media apps, taking more than a year to get youtube.

The only things this console has going for it is that some of the new games are very good, and the games and portability make it the best choice for local multiplayer.