You've bested every single competitor in my Twisted Metal competition, for coming out on top...

I wish I had a ham sandwich that will in no way kill me, cause me any discomfort or misfortune, actually taste good, not use spoiled ingredients or ingredients not used in sandwiches.

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Shut up and bleed you motherfu-

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Holy fuck you killed the English language.

I wish for a new Twisted Metal. Or TMPS3 re-release.

the monkey's paw here is that you become gayer with each transaction

I wish for DNF 2001 to finally be released/leaked onto the internet.

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>lost quake 2 engine game that should've been out there with shit like half-life, kingpin, sin

i'm CUMMING

I wish for general mild unpleasantness to occure.

I wish that everything--for everyone--become unfucked, and stay unfucked until the end of all time.

i wish for a dramatic movie that ended on that line as the final dramatic moment before instantly rolling credits
it would be ultimate comedy

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Would this be the credits theme?: youtu.be/Epf8PhQqaWc

I wish 'This is Vegas' would get released. Fuggin waited and waited and then they quietly let it slide into oblivion. Cocksuckers.

Oh shit, no. I wish the third Def Jam was made the the original team.

>millions suddenly appear in your account from an untraceable source
That's probably the fastest way to the the FBI to knock on your door.
And by knock I mean pistol whip.
And by door I mean skull.

Eh, two bags of chips and a coca-cola.

>completely legally

Was it really any edgier then black?

I wish you would suck your own cock and die.

Eh, Calypso, I wanna be the best!

Now you are the best! The best at sucking HORSE COCK!

Give me your magic ring

You suck at this.
Your wish is Granted!
>With a snap of my fingers 7 Billion were replaced with traps and lolis. user was in paradise, well he was until he realized the entire planet was now covered in bear traps, mouse traps, snares and punji pits. What wasn't a device made to kill and maim was now a sweet candy. Billions of them scattered across the world, it didn't take long for the insects to notice either. The swarm of flies was blinding, I hope user watches his step.
My name is Calypso and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal.

Now THIS is something Calypso would do

Who has beat Calypso's wish game canon?

Granted!
>The third Def Jam was made by the original team in all their original glory! A great budget, a perfect cast, everything was perfect. It's almost too bad that multiple lawsuits and controversies with the rappers involved meant that it never saw the light of day!

I would unironically love a battle royal of twisted metal

Mr. Grimm in the first game and Minion in the second both beat him, Grimm takes his soul and Minion banishes him for stealing his powers

Ehh, I wish smash bros failed.

I wish elves are real.

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Kill me calypso, no pain, no fuss, no afterlife just do it right here right now

Your wish is Granted!
>Begrudgingly I remove my ring. handing it to user, he can feel the power it emits, putting it on he can feel the power it wields. All the knowledge of the universe courses through his body. The Powers of Chaos and Order make him proclaim to be a God. And with that user is reduced to a pile of ashes. Maybe he should have wished for the knowledge to use it too.*drops instruction booklet onto the pile*
My name is Calypso and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal.

Your wish is granted!
>And so, user was instantaneously disintegrated on the spot. There wasn't any mess, and he didn't feel a thing. But, to be quite frank, I'm glad I don't have to be the one to wake up and realize that reincarnation exists! But don't feel too bad! I believe the Tardigrade, or Water Bear, is practically immortal!
My name is Calypso, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal.

Can I get like
some cute plushies or somthin

I wish you a good day :)

they are real... and you are not

In the 1st game the only people he fucks over are Roadkill and Outlaw. Everybody else get what they want while Darkside takes away his powers. Part 2 is when he goes all monkey paw and only a handful of people get this wish with Shadow getting revenge on Calypso.

Cool, I only remembered Grimm and Minion

The ham is made from those you love most.

Your wish is Granted!
>And with a single snap user wish came true. The mythical kingdom of the elves was real. I even through in directions and a 1 way trip to Scandinavia, 1st class of course. Out in the woods user searched for the kingdom. He was confused, he followed the directions to right spot. just then he felt a sharp pain in his chest, he looked down to see an arrow, followed by 12 more. I guess I forgot to tell him how racist elves are.
My name is Calypso and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal.

that qualifies discomfort or misfortune

And just like that, Smash had failed to disappoint its many fans, becoming an instant hit around the world

Granted, you get all that money and all your money is directly and immediately accessible by everyone in the present time and in the future. Also everyone is aware of the deal we made, which means they subsequently know anything relating to it, which may or may not include your bank account number.

"This transaction" technically covers the deal
Not the wish Calypso

If you want to get really technical, the wish specifies any Smash game, but not any time period aside from when the money is accessible

If everyone has access to the account and Smash as a series continues to exist and be played in the future (it will even if Nintendo never releases another, Meleefags will take care of that) then that means there is theoretically an infinite amount of money in that account based upon Smash games played, being played, and yet to be played, therefore granting infinite money to anyone aware of the deal, crashing the economy, and causing the apocalypse

So, well done I guess

I want you to be happy forever Calisto!

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Your wish is granted! *Your bank goes bankrupt and you lose all of your money anyways*
I am California, and I thank you for voting Bernie!

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I wish to be a hero in a final fantasy game!

granted, you will be happy forever but can only die during the heat death of the universe

>Fair Mr. Calypso, as winner, I wish for your daughter's hand in marriage.

Your wish is granted!
>You've taken my lovely daughter's hand in marriage. Oh, as a father I simply couldn't be more proud of this moment. I just wish you'd taken the rest of her, too!
My name is Calypso, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal!

You're doing great with these and I just wanted to acknowledge that

I had never thought of this, but so would I user.

Thanks user, it's half me and half another guy

Hm....that'll do