TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT

shut the fuck retard headass this funny image macro is (You)

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remove accuracy on tomislav
remove health drain from GRU

>remove health drain from GRU
lol

Tonight is always the night...

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>IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I THINK IT'S OVER

Meanwhile all the cool kids jumped ship years ago.

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Why are TF2 threads consistently the most comfy and best quality threads on Yea Forums?

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lmao whatever nigger who cares im still playing the videogame

Is he finally going to get his own class-based domination lines?

>remove accuracy on tomislav

Пpocтo иди нaхyй, блять.

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why do you think it’s tonight?

because tf2 is comfy and high quality?

BUFF THE STOCK PIPE OR NERF THE IRON BOMBER, FUCKS SAKE

>quality

Heavy's role in the game
>be a big, slow-moving wall of damage that the enemy team cannot cross without suffering the consequences
Problems with Heavy
>Heavy's slowness results in him being far more dependent on team support than most other classes, making him less fun to play
>Heavy's slowness makes his fights far more static than other classes', who wins a heavy engagement is almost 100% predetermined before the fight began and individual skill matters little
>Heavy's weapons are very boring and have an extremely low skill ceiling, meaning that he isn't as fun or engaging to play as other classes
How do we address these problems while staying within Heavy's role in the game?

But I like being rewarded with 40 damage instantly for my missed shots, thats why I play Demoman.

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Is Heavy, Scout, or Soldier the mascot of TF2?

>All the cool kids jumped ship to overwatch

>cool kids

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why are you people in every tf2 thread ever made ever

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Eternally the Heavy Weapons Guy

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Because I'm tired of seeing these threads on Yea Forums. Shit died a long time ago.

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But seriously, what the fuck is the point of using the stock pipebomb launcher over the Bomber?

Make his weapons interesting. The highest skill option besides stock he has is the Panic Attack, everything else that isn't a sandvich or the GRU is shit or worse

i too, am tired of seeing video game threads on games that have people playing them

Give him a more interesting weapon that won't make him a scopeless sniper or soldier who can't jump

What if Valve gave heavy rubber bullets that could richothet as a mechanic?

It has a higher skill ceiling and a longer range
Also, the animations don't look like shit which matters for me at least

They'd have to have Yakuza cosmetics put into the game for the occasion

What if Valve and Steam stopped existing. That'd be nice.

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There is no reasonable defense of random crits.

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force him to commit to minigun spinup and reward him for it
remove his swap penalty to incentivize him to use melee/shotgun over the sandvich
give him rollout tools and tell 6s fags to suck anus

>what if they made heavy absolutely fucking busted

Fuck off Epic shill

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>Longer range

Does it really? Or are you referring to the fact that the grenades from the stock launcher roll for more "range"?

Heavy, all the way. But scout is a close second.

>died a long time ago

Not even close.

>He needs more rollout tools
>GRU exist
There's a new banless league, should be interesting to see Heavies at the original mid-fight and how 6's teams adapt

What happened to the Party Van threads?

there is no single universe where switching to the shotgun will ever be beneficial over the mini

Rework him so that he can actually push but not be able to easily lock down areas with team support to the point where he needs a Sniper to be dealt with

is 90% of this thread russians and br?

t. delusional Valve drone.

>Rollout tools
Like what, rocket boots?

if spinup takes longer than swapping then yeah shotguns outright better
right now swapping is both slower and lower damage than just drooling a little bit then holding m1, situation is irrelevant, m1 is always the best option because of how many times theyve reduced his spinup delay

but with slow spinup the problem is hes both punishing and difficult to fully utilize AND fucking boring because his reward for staying spun is borderline nonexistent, thats a problem that also needs to be addressed

Because there's not really anything to shitpost about. Also the game is old so Yea Forums can't whine 24/7 that it's shit

give him a mortar gun that rapidly fires projectiles with qualities similar to pills. the projectiles have a small aoe radius and can be used to pogo a short distance
remove the speed penalty when revved up
give him 301 hp

>team goes full heavy
>riddles the entire map with rubber pellets
Imagine Turbine with this kind of shit

I want to see this now

Give him a sprint

>demoman but with 100 extra hp
what could possibly go wrong

give him an M60 (actually, give him two) that only slows him down when he's actually firing it. the idea is that he can fire in bursts and swap between shooting and mobility much quicker. he'd also be able to swap to his secondary quicker.

no like the steakvich, like the old gru, etc
anything that gets him to mid in a reasonable amount of time that isnt also tuned to deliberately cripple him if he uses it in the way that its meant to be used, ie current gru
basically just means "revert the gru nerf and retune the steakvich to not last so fucking long"

I like the idea of a mortar but as a single-shot secondary weapon.

So basically you want the heavy to have mobility but really no downside, got it.

you'd have to substantially lower his health pool to compensate for that kind of firepower and mobility buff

I've got an idea for a rollout weapon for heavy I call it "the commie cola"
Stats:
>+ Heals 150 health on consumption
>When consummed: gain +10% speed for every 5 hammer units moved for 30 seconds
>+ Turning, jumping and melee attacks don't effect speed gain
>- Revving your minigun resets speed to normal
>- 2x longer recharge time than regular sandvich
>- Ammo kits, resuply lockers, etc don't recharge meter
>- Speed resets to normal when 30 secs are up
>- when consummed: you are marked for death for 30 seconds
Basically, it's the sandwich, combined with a sort of momentum mechanic. Thoughts?

>TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT
Narrator: tonight was not the night

>+10% speed for every 5 hammer units
are you fucking retarded

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The downside is not having a secondary or melee that is actually viable in combat, leaving you a sitting duck if you get ambushed while you're not revved.

No. I don't even know what hammer units are/how they work. I just heard it in a few YouTube videos by some tf2 YouTuber.

i mean i never really said no drawbacks, there can be costs associated

but it is passive mobility, not active mobility
the difference is that its not supposed to help him engage or finish fights, its just supposed to get him from a to b faster during regroup/downtime
itd be a different story if i was asking for them to like remove the melee restriction on the steakvich or something, thats just dumb
but just giving him the ability to play the game more frequently isnt really a design issue large enough to mandate some huge "-25% hp" penalty or something

heavy moves 230 hammer units/sec

And how many does scout move?

400

its never the night
i've already given up on seeing anything new beyond some shitty cases with meme hats in them

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Then I'll just bump up every 5 units to every 1150 units, with a max speed of 400 hammer units per second.

Yeah all you have to do is not pull out the gru like a retard. using it as amobility device like it previously was, hardly anyone would get caught out unless they were retarded. That is why it was changed, the downside of the gru had almost no impact on the heavy

Because TF2 is comfy and we're all united against every other team based shooter and valve.

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the fuse time amd blast radius affect the maximum range. stock is better for a few situations ,like when you're outranging a lvl 3 sentry.

It actually is a design issue. Heavy's mobility limits him from respawning and defending quickly for a reason.

Shut the fuck up retard.

>Meanwhile all the cool kids jumped ship years ago
to what game?

it's the only multiplayer game left that's worth a damn. none of that modern military ads bullshit, no press q to win, the biggest flaws can be toggled by a few commands on any server, there are several reasons why this game is better than most, and the quality of the game can impact a thread's quality significantly.

If you can't account for randomness in a match it is on you to git gud, not on valve to remove randomness. That isn't how skill works.

there really isn't, it's just bait at this point. if actually had the balls to remove the lolsorandum, they'd also have to put in effort to rework several weapons to have actual downsides, which we both know valve will never do.

So you want to make a train out of him?

Somewhat, yes although I did tweek the stats a bit (see also ).

threadly reminder to use teamwork.tf/community/statistics to judge if it's even worth the effort to open the game.

>talks about """cool kids"""
>posts anime girl
well you sure aren't one of them

Make him take damage relative to the speed if he bumps into a wall, and also send enemy players flying from him on contact (no damage, though).

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Give heavy a weapon kind of like the BFB
>move ~25% slower while firing than with stock
>upon hitting enemies speed gradually increases up to normal walking speed
>upon getting hit speed decreases, but way more gradually than the BFB since heavy is a big target
>after a certain amount of time without being hit (30 or 60 seconds) speed starts decreasing naturally

"QUIT HAVING FUN ON Yea Forums!"

Oh boy I can't wait for merapsco's gay ass discord cancer to attempt their failed party van attempt again

I really want stopwatch mode to be active on payload matchmaking.

minigun that generates an aura which grants teammates a bonus to defense when revved up, good idea y/n

>get rid of the increased weapon spread and instead replace it with a 10% increased rev time across the board
>remind players that classes in tf2 have specific roles (offense, defense, support), and the fact that a defensive class is commonly used offensively means the class doesn't need a "fix".

>while revved up
should be revved up for more than 5 seconds or something like that

>medieval mode with killer gloves of boxing + buffalo steak
shit's fun

>buffalo steak + apoco-fists
RIP AND TEAR

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Because you people are living in your own little world and there's no one left around to tell you that you're wrong. Move on.

I've been recently rewatching all the TF2 videos and re-reading the comics.

There's really NOTHING like it out there. Overwatch's comics and videos just feel... soulless(not even in the meem meaning of the word). Even the bread one that Yea Forums at the time talked a lot of shit about is fucking amazing. The comics are also fucking amazing.

Will we ever get something like it again?

>remind players that classes in tf2 have specific roles (offense, defense, support), and the fact that a defensive class is commonly used offensively means the class doesn't need a "fix".
Everybody already knows what heavy's role is. Nobody likes it because it's boring as fuck. Classes that nobody plays because they're designed on purpose to be unfun need fixing, because the point of a video game is to have fun.

FUCKING
WHEN

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>suffered the most, lore wise
>suffers the most, gameplay wise
>game mascot
Justice

youtu.be/gkLvpt9Z3fA

Look at this shit. Blizzard and nu-valve can't do this.

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I need statistical evidence that no one likes it because they think it's boring and that nobody plays the class.

Man, imagine being this mad people still play a game you stopped playing. Think you need to self reflect a bit, because if anyone needs to move on, it's you.

They could easily not exist to you by simply ignoring it. You underage faggot.

when's heavy tears of denial meta

Why don't we redesign engy so he doesn't have to build anything, because lets face it that part isn't fun.

i like the rubber boolits idea
-bullets bounce from walls and enemies, losing 33% damage each bounce
-bullets deal damage to you
-50% primary ammo

dont know if they should go a random direction after hitting an enemy or the way they're looking

Do we even have 4AM threads anymore? I can't really follow them now with my local time.

guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/most-popular-team fortress-2-character

Heavy is the least popular class in the game, with only 8% of the playerbase choosing him regularly
Maybe if you're an ADHD zoomer

Meet the spy is so good. The giant board of words that says red spy in the base never fails to make me laugh

i dont even know what you are talking about

>how do we make Heavy even more dumb?
>oh I know! let's make it so that you literally don't even have to aim anymore, you just spray ricocheting bullets all over the map just by existing!

go into a match, hold tab

Yea Forums mansion?

>>just spam everywhere lmao
-bullets deal damage to you
-50% ammo

whats your weapon suggestion?

I don't think.
Game companies have forgotten that you can have both great gunplay and mobility as well as memorable characters.

There will always be a least popular class, just like there will always be a most popular class. The fact that the difference between the most popular and least popular is a measly 7% is a very good thing, as it proves play time well distributed among the classes.

>Less than 10% of our players ever pick Heavy with any regularity (and that's OK) (and that's a good thing) (and here's why) (you won't BELIEVE it)

Heavy is fine, faggot. kys

last one i saw was like a year ago, 4 am threads die now since mods kept killing them for a while so no one cares anymore.

t. one of the 5 or 6 heavy mains left on the planet

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Dead game
Valve will never give it a major update ever again

What did she mean by that?

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real life

poot

>Heavy instantly realizes who made the necklace
kek

>it died a long time ago
>said the increasingly nervous man for the 55th time

What is going through Heavy's mind at this EXACT moment?

>I wanted to impregnate Zhanna

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what the fuck happened to my time played?

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>homosexuals are all pedophiles and should be burned

What did Valve mean by this?

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The exact opposite of what Chris Redfield feels.

>rng is bad
>lol git gud
Based retard

>rng is bad
prove it fagtron

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That happened to my hours sometime last year for some reason. Really kind of shitty

This gag is the best gag in the entire comic
just fucking perfect execution

WHAT DID TF2 GOD MEAN BY THIS??

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How can miss Pauling even compare?

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Heavy is the 2nd least interesting class. He doesn't deserve an update, he's just fine as is.

>soldier
>heavy's sister
is this peak performance?

Zhana is LITERALLY peak performance

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Easily. Lesbians are always hotter

I unironically want tf2 to last 100 years even if it means not getting any updates (maybe that's for the best).

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who is the most least interesting class?

>that shape
>those muscles
>those thighs
>those hips

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

free kids to WHAT

TO WHAT

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Sniper. All there is to him his "just shoot their heads quickly lol". Jarate isn't enough to make him special.

I love to know that Medic owns the other 8 mercs' souls

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I mean what would YOU do with free kids?

>scrolls past all the Consoleshit Wojacks, Janny Pepes, "HAHA I BROKE DE RULZ GUIS" porn posts, Esports/Eceleb posts just to shitpost about how tired he is of seeing 1 (ONE) TF2 thread on Yea Forums - Video Games
I don't even want you to leave, your autism is too entertaining.

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>9 kills as spy with 0.6 hours

The only issue I have with heavy (and what I think the main problem with the class really is) is that he is the most vulnerable class, and that would hold true even if spy and sniper didn't exist. Maybe allow the mini gun to hit explosives, causing them to explode when hit.

Does anyone have that "leak" with the plot for the last comic?

>turning the heavy into a hitscan trophy system
you monster

one tf2 thread with all the same posts for the past several years

>Heavy's weapons are very boring and have an extremely low skill ceiling, meaning that he isn't as fun or engaging to play as other classes

Things aren't always going to be glamorous or spectacular. Somebody needs to be the guy healing, or building sentries and dispensers and teleporters while the rest of the team moves up to the line of skirmish to prod at the enemy's frontline, deny them ubers and make plays on the enemy sentry nest. A Heavy really shouldn't be wandering around getting into one-on-one duels.
A Heavy won't have the raw mobility of a scout or soldier, nor the versatility of a demo, but his raw numbers and steady damage output can make him a reliable anchor for the vanguard, especially compared to a Soldier who needs to reload every shot one by one. Nobody wants to be in line of sight or near something that can chew you up in seconds at close range, moreso when the rest of the heavy's team is also firing rockets, nades and sweeping fire through the area.

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Daily reminder TF2 would be improved immensely if Sniper was removed from the game.

Reminder to use the natasha
the reason I struggled so much as heavy is because everyone kept running away and then I sit there waiting like a sentry
always punish over extending dumb asses

>give him rollout tools and tell 6s fags to suck anus
They banned the fucking Buffalo Steak Sandvich just because it could get a a heavy to the mid fight

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Heavy's biggest problem is he is super dangerous when he surprises the enemy (especially from behind) but he has no way to get there.

They should have given the buff banner and other related items to him instead if the soldier

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>underking avatar
hi me

If they're close enough for Natasha to slow them down they're close enough for the minigun to kill. Learn2aim

Ahem, fuck 6s and fuck compfags.

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>russian, i.e. character most of the playerbase can identify with
makes sense to me

take care of

His job is to be anti-air and punish overextending enemies. He does this job extremely well. There's no reason to buff him further.

Stop reposting this idea it's terrible.

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New heavy minigun: The "Fuck Off"
+50% more bullets
+50% more ammo
-Bullet Damage falls off with distance, goes from -30% at close range to -70% at far range
-shooting pushes you back and slightly pushes enemies back
-this can be used to propel yourself into the air by shooting down

TF2 servers are still up? like official, non-private servers? I thought I had a distinct memory of it becoming abandonware like three years ago

Any class that relies on having less than 100% movement speed to do his job is nothing but a gimmick.

Sniper gets away with it because technically he doesn't even engage in fights, but heavy is hopeless. 90% of the fun in shooters is the movement.

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Both anti-air and overextending punish are both done just as well by scout and soldier provided that either can aim. You see this happen in Highlander and other formats where scouts who can aim and heavies are forced to coexist, Heavy's job gets subsumed fairly quickly by other classes that are more mobile and he gets relegated to a last-defense medic babysitter that does nothing of note 90% of the time except feed Snipers kills.

How's this as a middle ground between pro and anti random crits?
>If your next shot is to be a random crit, the weapon lights up like with the kritz or the end of round critical hits.
That way they are still in the game, but the anti-crit people can still plan around the fact the enemy has crits.

>an actual solution that might improve things
no, we need to go back to out-wojakposting each other and listening to e-celebs

Scout can throw a player off course but he can't completely deny a bombing soldier and pin him to the skybox like heavy can. Soldier isn't anywhere near as threatening heavy is when you're in his line of sight. You can juke and dodge a soldier and he has to land difficult airshots to deny players in the air on on high ground. Pyros can also be difficult for Soldier while they are powerless against heavies.

>Ron Howard's voice: tonight was not the night

How do you "git gud" reasonably against an event that happens purely by chance and that you have no way of anticipating?

I would replace krits with damage ramp up. 0-20% damage increase depending on damage you deal that resets after 10 seconds of doing no damage. And make your weapon glow like heated up metal.

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What about something like the medic's healing variance or Smash's rage mechanic, where the longer you're engaged in battle/do damage/heal, the more damage you do notching up by fractions of a percent and then cooling down, but not to the extent a crocket becomes a room clearing game changer. More like someone that's stuck behind enemy lines with less ammo or has been scraped isn't quite at a disadvantage going against an enemy that just came from spawn, and rewards players for aggressive and successful play without being too overpowered or seemingly random?

You could even add variable visual effects like crits, like a soldier's rockets will glow more red the better his "rage" is, while the full on uber-tier glowing is reserved for kritzkrieg.

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>soldiers are powerless against heavies
Stand more than 50 feet away from him and use him as free banner charge.

Imagine being a 12 year old game and still having more players then Valve's newest game.

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Artifact is a weird one for sure. Came out of left field for Valve. It's just confusing to me. Was it just trying to make money off of card game trend? They aren't typically a trend chaser. Passion project gone wrong? The world may never know.

>the young, the tube, the fiend, the host
funniest shit ever

Oh no how will I ever dodge this slow moving projectile from a mile away, if only heavy had legs.

>backpedaling
dumb heavy main is as slow as his class

>tfw the Heavy will NEVER be in smash

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>what is strafing

LIGHTSPEED HEAVY

goddamn that render looks good

Gabe went as far as to claim that Artifact was going to be the Half-Life 2 of card games, so I imagine Valve had the game in mind for a while but still fucked up tremendously.

To be fair though
>it's a collectible card game
>that you have to buy into
>but you also have to buy even more cards

It was seemingly all of that shit. A lot of Artifact is new blood at Valve(one of the writers used to work for Volition on Saints Row and Red Faction). They started the card game and then because it had the whole concept of "three separate fields of play" they decided to work it around Dota 2. Of course someone at Valve saw how popular digital card games were getting so they moved to make it the next big tentpole event, hence why it got a big stage reveal.

>no way of anticipating
The crit formula is very well known. If an engie or a medic is racking up their rate just by existing, yo should be mindful.