Enter the pub with your mates

Time for the EGGS

This

At least 1000

Place my mouth directly on her crotch and wait for her to piss herself

>pub
>mates
I drink at home by myself

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holy gentleman

>enter the pub with your mates
Give her a mate-ing press.

>Time for the EGGS

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I was a bouncer/bartender for a few years at a popular greek life/sports bar in one of the most notorious party school towns in America.

Seen plenty of girls end up just like this. At this point thinking about it just pisses me off since I had to deal with it so much.

Literally times when I had to go to the bathroom to get a sorority girl who was face down on the bathroom floor with her pants and panties down

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Grab boob then get embarrassed and walk away

Enter the goddess with my mates.

the fuck, story?

Lay down between her legs and take a nap

how big/thuglike do you have to be to apply for bouncer?
asking for a friend.

She's only so spoiled and bratty because she knows you don't have the balls to rape her.

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I mean there would be no proof of raping Aqua if you were gentle, she would just purify the cum

Check if she's ok, I don't know if she passed out on the floor or fell and falls while drunk are very dangerous.
If she's ok then proceed to see who she's with to take the home or look up her address and get her there, shit's fucking dangerous for females to be getting drunk as fuck by themselves in bars.

>wearing panties

Heresy

>purify the cum.
Reminds me of "telabort the baby".
Man, that's an old reference to be reminded of.

Tell my mates I’ll watch her until she wakes up so they can fuck off. There’s no way I’m sharing a bitch I’m about to molest

I was 6'3", 250 lbs and pretty jacked at the time but you really don't need to fit that description.

It definitely depends on how violent/rowdy the place your friend wants to apply to. However, let's be real. If you're a bouncer and things get too out of line, you should call the cops and let them handle it.

First place I worked at had no security cameras though so the staff would beat up rowdy patrons from time to time/bang chicks in the back/do cocaine at the bar, weed in the back, etc.

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Is her nickname "the pub"?

Pretty much how I lost my virginity.
>house party
>random literal who girls show up
>everyone is stoned/ drunk
>need to piss
>go upstairs to the bathroom
>passed out girl with her head in the tub and her ass in the air
>take a piss
>slap her ass a couple of times
>pull her panties down
>my_body_is_ready.jpg
>the_pleasure_of_cumming_inside.png
>go downstairs
>holy shit what did I just do?!
>people are crashed out all over the place
>why yes, I think I will.
>do it again
>and again
>I am a horny monkey
>cum so much it hurts
>still want to do it
from sixteen to twenty that was pretty much the entirety of my sexual encounters.
Losing my virginity and having consequence-free sex gave me the confidence to approach other people, make friends, get girlfriends, apply for and get promotions at work, and succeed in the normalfag life.

Turn 360 degree and walk to the succubus café. Absolutely not worth it dealing with the real thing.

god damn dude

Not him but I was a bouncer at a night club downtown in my city for a while and have similar stories
What generally happens though is women drink way to much and start falling over and passing out on everything and will just get abandoned by their friends because they don't really give a shit about them and keeping an eye out for them is "bringing them down", men do the same thing if there's a chance they can get some pussy but are more likely to try and pawn the drunk person off on someone instead of flat out leaving them
Not that big, I'm 6'1 and was like 190 when working there and there were only 2 other guys bigger than me, one was about the same height but closer to 300 pounds and the other was this giant native american guy that was like 6'7, but the 5 other guys on the team were all sub 6 foot
Honestly what's more important is being able to work as a team and having each other's back, someone might want to start shit with 1 short guy but would back down knowing there's 4 other guys that have his back

>user turned his life around by becoming a serial rapist

Your semen's in a police database

Too obvious man

Worked as one before. Not that much. There's multiple bouncers. If you can't handle a guy on your own, more people will rush in. Weapons are searched beforehand for those kinds of roles as well.

>Bragging on Yea Forums about how you date raped half a dozen girls

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If she doesn't say no...

show her my basement

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Depends, are we isekai'd into shotas?

I was a DJ at a strip club before it got shut down because the boss was basically pimping girls to customers.
besides playing the songs the girls wanted to dance to, I had to keep an eye out for the signs and signals that the girls would give when someone was breaking the rules and summon the bouncers, and yeah, it's basically 4-6 large dudes that are shoulder to shoulder and are like "I think it's time for you to leave" that sends people on their way.

Unfathomably based, perfectly legal (the police did not arrest him), and improved several girl's lives with a karmic lesson and his superior genetics.

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I kneel basedlord

Good job.

Use the new public urinal.

And then they clapped right?

Based rapist

I want to be isekai'd into konosuba's world as a loli with magic powers

You picked the wrong Guts face

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Are you from Moldova by any chance

But user-san, thats RAPE!

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I remember a news story about this happening, the girl was left outside after they bar closed, some random dudes raped her and the owner of the bar was sued for negligence

me and my mates help her get home :)

now i feel like a fool for not raping drunk thoots

I had three friends who did this. Now I feel like a fool.

Enter Megumin
files.catbox.moe/fm92o4.png

based

Based eggchad

Tickle her until she pisses

Based

>But user-san, thats RAPE!
Actually, if you press down on their chests, the escaping air sounds like yesssssssss~

based

Had any of them peed themselves?

Take her back to my the inn I'm staying and rape her.

God bros I want an alcoholic girlfriend to piss herself on my furniture while I fuck her half conscious
I want it so bad

>Tickle her until she pisses
Dangerously based

Tickle her until she pisses, cums, and shits her panties
A-am I extra based guys?

now that you mention it, no. I think often times they're able to pee in the bowl but they're so drunk after sitting down for a sec they pass out.

You catch plenty of girls pissing in the alley though

Sad.
Wouldn't be able to do the job though, one bad day too many and I'd just start fapping to the chicks pissing in the alley.

Girls don't shit dumbass.