/wg/ Writing General

Let's see
>Dileach
Dee Lee ach
>-Mathgamain
Math guh main
>-Sásteach
Sas teech
>-Duasal
Dua saul
>-Togál
Toe gal
>-Chratín
Chuh rah tin
>-Eimear
Ee mear
>-Deichtine
Dek tine
>-Fergus
Fergus (FGO)
>-Éagan
Ayy gen
>-Daora
Daora (monster hunter)
>-Dianair
Diane aire
>-Éanna
Ee ah nah
>-Iacair
Eye a sare. This one is the worst
>-Oile
Ollie
>-Pórant
Pour ant
>-Gabh
Gab

Telling everyone some tips as a master writer

- words are cheap, delete delete delete, or better yet make a document called “graveyard” where you cut and paste everything you’ve written you either don’t like or don’t believe fits in the story
-if you’re a good writer you’ll have good taste, if you have good taste then you’ll immediately hate everything you’ve written the many first times you do, delete delete cut and paste in graveyard and keep rewriting until it becomes acceptable to YOU
- if you don’t like your writing that means you know you could have done better. Take yourself up on that bet.
- words ARE CHEAP
- have pride in the amount of pages you’ve trashed
- look up Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 rules for writing
- editing is rewriting the whole thing from scratch.
-Trying to fix a rough draft by focusing on correcting grammar issues is like polishing a turd.
- WORDS ARE CHEAP FUCKING DELETE THAT SHIT AND START AGAIN

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This is a terrible meme and it was already unfunny the last time you posted it. You're stupid.

OP is too retarded to link to the previous thread? If you don't know how to make a general why bother doing it? Or for that matter, why not learn how to do it correctly?
I suppose it's consistent, because none of you idiots know how to write and clearly are too stupid to learn.

Post your writing, O sage.

>The whole "avoid telling not showing" thing seems to be in vogue currently
That's because people who give the avoid telling advice are maximum tier brainlet faggots who think "only organic storytelling" and "muh subtlety" are the only ways to tell a story.

> tell a story.
And that is why you fail.

1 of ?
Near the city of Binak, tenebrose clouds were beginning to gobble up the azure sky. Ion rode briskly down the wagon wide cobbles on his porcelain white Horned Mazin. He figured at the pace he was riding he would make it to Binak before the rain came. He adjusted the liripipe of his chaperon across his brow to hide the milk white circle that stood out like a lamp on his sable skin. It was important for him to maintain his appearances as an emissary for the Calais mercenary guild “Sturmblast.” He already stood out with his dark skin as someone heralding from the deserts in the Kingdom of Erona but now with the rise of demons from the east any unnatural markings could set people off. Ion smiled at the absurd position he found himself in. Most guilds would have never considered sending him as an emissary due to his heritage but for Sturmblast it was a display of power. Anyone touching Ion without his express permission would be an affront to the most powerful force outside the King’s Own. The King’s Own being another reason why certain appearances must be maintained. King Jacom was trying to appease the general population after the multiple wars with Erona during his Father’s reign. During that time the noble and wealthy elites oppressed the citizenry and now King Jacom was left to clean up the mess. Although things were better, the military was more zealous than necessary.
A few drops of rain hit Ion’s guild-issued wool cloak as the city walls came into view. Ion was abreast of the last summit of the Pako Cahin and the descent led right to the customs posts. Binak was one of the largest cities in the entire world and had massive walls, several dozen meters in height. The walls extend out into the bay where it morphed into a partial levee and drydock. The only place that Ion knew of that could rival the scale of this fortress of a port was the Capital.

2 of ?
Ion entered the fastflow processing line for emissaries. There were about six guards manning the gate: two inducting, two maintaining the lines, and two blocking the entrances. There were probably more guards inside though. The cloak he wore held a large insignia blackened cloud with bolts of lightning radiating out as if it were a star. A guard waved him over and asked for his papers. It was considered fraud to wear clothing of a particular guild if one was not a part of said guild. The visa was cleared without much of an issue though he could feel the cold stares of the peasantry. He thought he heard one man cast an aspersion, but regardless it was a trifle.
As Ion made his way down the central avenue the occasional drops were growing more consistent. He decided to stop at the Quail’s Egg Tavern, a place he had stayed once before, and the service was pleasant. He entered to an assortment of characters, sailors spinning tales, a pair of middle aged women engrossed in detailed gossip, and one fat bartender. There were about six or seven downcast patreons along the back wall that seemed disheveled but otherwise normal. Ion noted this and would investigate later. Shouldering his bag he ambled over to the bar.
“Well it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Ion! Why such a dark complexion?”
“Hah! Chester it looks like you are still doing some heavy lifting.”
The bartender cracked a smile. “What brings you to town my friend?”
“Guild business so unfortunately for you my lips are sealed.”
“Well’n aint doing no good to dwell on the unspoken.”
“You seem to have become popular,” Ion changed the subject, “I don't recall so many people the last time I visited.”
The bartender grunted, “I shouldn’t complain but we are being flooded with refugees, most are decent folk but they run out of money quickly and become vagrants. It’s only gotten worse, and more and more people are showing up raving about demons and witches. All sorts of gruesome tales of corpses found ripped apart and gutted.”
Ion nodded. “This is the calm before the storm, my friend.”

3 of ?
Ion placed the mutton stew on the desk of his room and sighed. He pulled out a thin cloth bound logbook and scratched a couple lines about what he saw and heard from Chester. He placed a series of alarms on his chamber door and windows. A bell that would clatter to the floor if the door handle were rattled. The window was latched but he placed some marbles along the seal just in case. He turned in for the night.

Ion headed to the Summa Libraria after a quick breakfast of apples and cheese. The inn where Ion stayed was near the north wall and the archivist guildhall known as the Summa Libraria was in the central plaza.The hall was a lengthy stone and brick gothic chateau with a hexagonal belfry that could peek over the colossal walls that protected the port city. As he passed the central plaza there were the sounds of organs thundering out from the triple spired cathedral. The gargantuan church was a titanic building of rich engineering and fine artistry that represented Lum’s gift of life to man. When Ion saw the gathering procession of townsfolk in their finest livery he realized it was the day of worship. He felt a yearning to follow the crowd and attend mass. He reflected on the pine pews he knelt at for hours as a child with the words of the missionaries and chuckled.

The Summa Libraria’s entrance was manned by two guards who wore simple mail and a breast plate with crossed quills embossed on the front. Ion whipped open his cloak causing the guards to jump and point their spears at the potential threat. They just as quickly retracted their weapons as they saw the writ Ion held out.

4 of 4
The entrance lead to a long hallway that was adorned with sculptures of scholars and artists until he reach the reticulum of the building. Ion’s jaw went slack and his eyes watered ever so slightly. The antechamber was rather large and had a gilded dome. There were two wings on each side that would encapsulate the Summa Libraria. In the center of the antechamber was an amalgamation of three renown master works. Two triptyches sat upon marble steps open to present the audience with illustrations of their existance. The paintings, each being stupendous enough for pilgrimages, paled in comparison to the centerpiece, a brobdingnagian marble oak tree that struck awe in all who witnessed it. “Beautiful, is it not?” A voice spoke amplified by the natural reverbation of the chamber. Ion turned to see a stout man of about fifty cycles with hard green eyes he could see from ten paces away.
“Quite so Friar. I must say I’ve seen many things in my thirty cycles but nothing like this.”
“Nothing is impossible with the guiding hand of Lum, you of all people should know that.” Ion nodded twinging in his gut from the collected gaze of the friar.
“Well I suppose we all have our talents.”
“Some are just more distructive than others.”
“Things are getting bad, Friar, I have come not to quarrel, but to gather information.”
“You have come here for the same reason as the rest. To seek salvation from the hands of the history but I regret to inform you that all of this.” The Friar waved his arms about the beautiful room. “This is temporal, everything you need to know is not here but in the nearest chapel!”
“Brother, you are in the business of saving souls, but I have responsibilities to my Guild, to my King. Though I know not what was spoken the Oracle has sent us a divination. There is still hope.”
“The Oracle? How do you know the Oracle has spoken? I have received no word of this and I am on the Council of Bishops.”
“Well I was tasked to inform you by Elder Blackmore. You will report this to the Bishops.”
“How am I to tell the Bishops when I have no proof? You don’t even have the prophecy!”
Ion pulled a sealed tube from the inside of his cloak and turned it about. “The prophecy is written here, I was entrusted to deliver it to you, why?”
The bishop in plain robes glared at Ion who broke into a crooked grin. “My talents of course.”
“What do you expect in return?”

Emily user here.

Someone downloaded my book when I put it out for free on kindle for a limited time! Wow!

>ach
I don't know how this ending is supposed to be pronounced. Is it like -tch or does it end in a guttural sound?
If it's the guttural one then I'm only able to pronounce it because I speak Dutch. Anglophones don't stand a chance.

Why is that?

>tfw I read female authors work it effectively breaks my male writing brain.
Anyone else find this ?

ok i finished the chapter
Ion strolled up to the platform where the master works were on display and gazed on the triptychs. Liber to the left with scenes of fire and brimstone. There were characters being tormented by devils and monsters. “Liber is said to be where the souls of men who toil in sin reside after death. A place of punishing lessons.” On the right was a painting of Astra showing the great feats of man in service to Lum but it also depicted pain and frustration of life. In one panel there were raging storms and war but on the other it showed gardens and towering cathedrals. “Astra is where we live to experience free will and where we can experience the goodness of Lum.”
Ion gazed upon the tree, whose bark looked so real that if painted it would be indestigiushable. The branches were spread over the two works as if it were an embrace. Leaves and drangling moss carved so thin that it was a wonder they did not shed. A gentle face with closed eyes was the anthropomorphism of Lum.
“You mistake, Ion of Sturmblast. Lum’s goodness reaches us all especially those in Liber. You have not been reading your devotional. ‘In all things there is Lum and His presence is as brillant as the sun in the darkness, but only for those who choose to believe.’ chapter 7 verse 42. Look at the way the tree depicting Lum provides the necessary shade for the paintings so they remain as vibrant as they were two hundred cycles past.”
Ion nodded, “what we need in return is the guiding hand of the church to help us fight the scourge that defiles Lum’s gifts.”

My MC just had a shameful one-night stand. I'm so disappointed in him for doing that

Are you writing live and dumping it here as you go? Please use pastebin, Google docs, snip an image of the text, or something.

what could my MC gain from being a double double agent

>tenebrose clouds were beginning to gobble up the azure sky
awful
Otherwise you've got a lot - a lot - of proper nouns that you're introducing in this fairly short chapter. not even 2k words. Is this the first chapter? This is a lot of people and a lot of places and a lot of gods to introduce in such a small number of words, you should let things breathe more.

Also he goes to this inn he's stayed at only once, and yet he and the bartender are on a first name basis with each other like old chums.

Basically the guy enters town, it's raining, selects an inn, does nothing, waits until the next morning, then does what he wants to do. You may want to cut the inn entirely, you have it there purely as a device to produce exposition - and it shows - who gives a fuck about Chester, is he integral to the plot? Somehow I don't think so.

Opportunism. The power to pick either side depending on how the tide turns and being able to claim it was part of the plan all along.

pastebin wont let me go public

thanks for the advice
not the first chapter just wanted to dump the current chapter i was working on to see where the major problems are.

I need to revamp the inn scene. as this is the initial draft my plan was to expand that scene out. I do need to fix the relationship aspect between the bartender now that you pointed it out.

how could he do such a thing

He won't be surprised though. He won't be anything.

Alcoholism, and temptation

I quoted the relevant part right there, you fucking idiot.

I'm asking you to explain. Why does "tell a story" mean failure?

Because it shows that the person has the wrong mindset from the get-go. If you set out to “tell a story” then of course you’re going to err with too much “tell don’t show” since you think the reader just wants to be told things. They don’t. They want to EXPERIENCE the story, which is as the heart of “show, don’t tell.”
Not that I would expect you to understand, since clearly you’re not smart enough for this discussion since you needed me to explain.

I assume this means you know what happens then?

>creeping through the alleyways and down the canals.
>as he used to do when the sun got low
>being
>As
>three meters
>After looking around
>what he was looking for
>After another step, Arki quickly
Delete.
The tenses are confused. "had engulfed", "were brimming", maybe a couple of other spots. Engulfed, brimmed.
Stop using as unless two events happen at the exact same time. Get reacquainted with how to manage time in narration.
Stop introducing actions with he remembered, he thought, he looked. Just say that years ago the docks had brimmed with noise, that he noticed, etc.
The plot: you have an evocative city scene with some contrasting elements (the fog, the merry teasing) that bring it alive. What it needs is the set of meanings the observer necessarily imparts on it. We're looking at the city through Aki's eyes, yet he's a blank slate. Do the women make him angry? Does he yearn to see the ships of his boyhood?
Advice: read Techniques of the Selling Writer, learn how to lead from one sentence to another and how to keep the passage of time straightforward. Write 10 000 words of plot and action without ever using the word 'as'.
And good job, user, keep at it.

I think you're reading too much into that.

You're reading into this way too much. If you tell a story, then they experience it. They experience a story by you telling it. You don't just use tell all the time nor do you use show all the time. A healthy balance is important. You took the "tell" part of tell a story as only tell no show and that's just the incorrect way to read the post. You can keep slinging insults at me if you want but I don't see a point in arguing with someone who missed the original point and dove off the deep end with the rest.

In a story with multiple viewpoint characters, do you prefer the characters to have some connection to each other at the outset, or only come into contact later on? I like the latter to show the multiple different factions at play, but it feels like I'm bloating my cast too quickly that way.

I feel like you shouldn't ever have too many at once. Start with one, maybe two early on, and then slowly roll out more if you want, having them link up in the last third or so.

well how many characters? Three is okay but when you get to 4+ is when you start to have characters that don't mean shit to the story

I started my story with 2: a king and his childhood friend, and it's stayed consistent between them for about 110k words. I've had flashes of a high ranking noble in the court giving her POV but it's mostly been them. It really allows me to play with the dichotomy and similarities between the two men.

>my side character is getting more development than my main character. What do?

Make the main character more interesting. That's really it.

should i do a daily web-novel, what would even be the point? it seems like a quick way to get burnt out after 60+ chapters

Don’t these fucking things go for like thousands of chapters?

>daily
Sounds awful. RIP

Yea, I don't even know how.
it seems like fillers are extremely common. But I would suspect after chugging along for 1000+ chapters you would get better at making plots as you go along

I agree, which is why I'm trying to get this sorted. It's a story wherein multiple factions are working toward the truth of a singular event that happened in the past. Three of the characters are really the "main" ones, any other additional viewpoints would likely just be minor, temporary ones. It felt like having them all know each other at the outset despite being from different walks of life would feel contrived, but then I feel like I run into the issue of ascribing too much relevance to side characters, since there would end up being quite a few with three different lives being followed around.

Three is doable. You can alternate one after the other to keep a consistent throughline, or just do whatever seems most appropriate, but any more than three major recurring viewpoints will be too much. Stick the minor ones in very infrequently, or only in the middle of other chapters, etc.

Having them be wholly unconnected could be a problem, as that means you're essentially telling three separate stories at once. It's been done (Stormlight Archive's first book has four major viewpoint characters and one of them doesn't even meet the other three until the next book, and only two of them really interact for any significant degree of time in the first few parts) but you'll probably want some connective tissue or characters between them, or get them meeting relatively early on so as not to muddle the story too much.

Do the anons from /crit/ still frequent this thread? Seems like this general has changed a lot since the last time I posted.

Cope, repent.

Crit was more or less folded in when anons started posting their work asking for feedback.

I'm thinking of making smut
god-forgive me

In March 2021, I decided to take a year long break from writing. I think it's going to be permanent. Writing is too difficult and time consuming. My ego is incredibly fragile. I can sort of deal with people shitting on my writing, but I can't deal with the personal attacks. Enough people tell me I'm stupid/ignorant as it is

have you thought about not giving a shit?
would rec this book

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