Write what's on your mind

I'm bubbly and tense as the inside of a balloon. He is. He is. My smiles are grimaces, my face is a rejected potato. He tells an unfunny story. He paces aimlessly. He's ridiculous and the world is. Have you noticed the sky lately? Have you seen the people beating him to death with a club? Have you feigned depth, then joy, then it all faded out.
The story of a girl thinking of a boy is outdated, especially when no groaning and screaming are involved. I have much better ones. Do listen.

The earth is dry, the grains are empty. The sea of yellow leaves is not yet quiet, but their whispers are undecisive. When talking back to them, they will swallow all inside until baked in next year's bread.

Im a fuckup. If only I'd have more willpower, clarity or passion then it would possible. Hard but possible. Feeling sorry for yourself is not healthy but I still do it.

Has anyone ever told you you sound annoying? Because you do.
The way you type, there’s something about it that just grates me.
Maybe it’s because you sound whiny, trying to make people feel sorry for you but also having that smartass college boy attitude about you.
Fix up your attitude and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

anyone think giving yourself a name has a weird incest like feel

Thanks for pointing that out, I guess. I had a few drinks and just didn't want to sound like a complete idiot. But ye, you're right, I probably should change my attitude when asking for advice, I recognise it's something I'm very bad at.
I don't feel sorry for myself, by the way, and definitely don't want others to feel sorry for me. I know I'm very lucky and maybe just don't want to sound cocky and make it feel like I want to make others jealous..
Do you have any advice on what I said in the post, though?

My cock is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better lube for anyone. In fact, I want my dick to be inflicted on others ass. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my libido continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself.

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I dont get where people get the confidence to write and proclaim things. I always feel i dont know enough.

>look at my files from like 8-10 yrs ago realize i was mr cringe
wonder how much of that i've retained probably a lot

Hi lit so without wasting time I have a idea for a story but i can't write shit so if anyone interested please do something with it.

But before : i don't know how to write anything so please don't criticize me.

>There exists a place in some fucking mountain or Japan or India, where you go to commit suicide (...there is a temple in which there is a stone where the actual suicide happens you go there and you touch the stone and die...) But you have to stay in that temple for one month and reflect on your life and all the decisions you made along, and after one month if you are still depressed and suicidal then you can die or go back to your life.

>So you can add our protagonist as a wagieCuck or KHV virgin incel or generally depressed and you put him in the temple and and show his life and all the shit he did to get at this point, and as the days go by Change his mind and at last day/hour he has to make a decision (i can't think of any good ending that's why i came here so please complete the story pretty please.)

>Do you have any advice on what I said in the post, though?
Here’s what will make people shit on you
>I'm also starting to see European cities becoming way too unaffordable for anything creative to flourish
>the next step would be to keep working my way towards full yuppie-dom - renting a flat in a gentrifying neighbourhood of some city that was considered cool 25 years ago
Yuppies are detestable, but even more detestable is yuppie wannabes.
You claim you want to something “creative” but complain about the affordability of European cities.
Moreover you also whine about the city not being considered cool anymore. By whom?
By the trust fund kiddies pretending to Ben artists that you are trying to emulate.
Since you work remotely you could easily find a cheap place to live in Eastern European cities because people are emigrating West.
But no, that wouldn’t be “cool” because the gaggle of inane urbanite twits you are trying to emulate are so stupid and insular that they consider anything outside of soulless metropolises and a few tourist traps in the third world “cool”.
Let me tell you something, Joyce penned his masterpieces in Dublin when it was considered a backwater before it became a hub for tech bugmen and plastic paddies.
Face it, you don’t want to be an artist, you want the appearance of being an artist.
You basically want to be a basic bitch trust fund kid pretending her paintings drawn with her period blood are postmodern masterpieces worth your of being shown in galleries.
Take a long hard look at your life and decide if you want to be an artist or not.
But be aware that people will catch and call you out on your bullshit if you decide to continue being a yuppie wannabe.

When he decides to touch the stone nothing happens, feeling betrayed he shouts at the silent monk and leaves the temple
He tries to kill himself repeatedly and fails every time he does so
After some time he's realized that he is now unable to die, now you have to make the thing feels as if there's no distinction between life and death

Nice going

my brain has been balkanized

Why

Thanks for the reply. There must have been a bit of a misunderstanding, though, because what I was trying to say is in complete agreement with the points you made.
As I said, I moved to a city coming from a rural upbringing, and both yuppies and trust fund “artists” are groups which I don’t fit into. My post was literally about getting away from that, because having peeked into the college kid wannabe creative environment of one such expensive city, I can tell that I’d rather look for something else. Hence why moving to a cheap country far away sounds more appealing to me than moving to the “bohemian” neighbourhood of whatever western European city.
I don’t think creative communities should be always reduced to “basic bitch trust fund kids”, though. Automatically thinking that’s the case is almost equally detestable to me. While it is true that they’re not necessary for the creation of great art, it also true that Joyce for example was an active member of the intellectual circles of Trieste and Paris (among other cities) in his days, and that a lot of his innovation came from dialogue and correspondence with many of his contemporaries. Not to mention the publication of his works, which may have been impossible if he wasn’t in the right place at the right time.. But that’s kind of beside my point. I am not an artist and don’t want to pretend to be one. Mentioning cities becoming expensive was to say that Europe today is rather different from Joyce’s, when - contrary to what you’re saying - moving to a specific city/neighbourhood because other artists lived there would have made sense. To be completely honest I do think period-blood painters would probably make better friends than equally basic people who don’t even pretend like art is important to them, but they’re really just a false stereotype and my original post had nothing to do with them. I brought up the (bygone) “coolness” of cities to make a point about the pointlessness (and obnoxiousness) of thinking in those terms. That’s why, having landed a remote job, I was asking about the feasibility of leaving all this behind. You mention Eastern Europe, but I was thinking about English-speaking African countries where life is much cheaper, and the cultural experience would be much more insightful. That’s kind of what I was asking, not where is the Coolest place to move to, but would it be too crazy (at my age) to just go travel (regardless of the of Coolness of cities and all that)...

Have the ending being him deciding to kill himself and finish with him touching the stone. Don't elaborate on whether he does or does not die, leave it up to reader if the temple is genuinely magical or not. Don't go with the typical "and then this total loser with nothing going for him realized that life was actually amazing" bullshit.

What is the point of being so ambiguous? She knows about my flame and still acts as if she doesn't know about it. She says she thinks highly of me and is very flattered by my inclination, but she never says anything either for or against. I have this hope that she is seriously considering speaking out in my favor, but not finding the time right, that she is careful not to say anything about it yet, but she always remains indecipherable and I never have a clue to guess the state of things.
Nevertheless we have dinner together, she introduces me to her family, and we often confide in each other. I would rather have a quick deception than a long languid wait.

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>indecipherable

Nigga wat ?

It is quite clear

Everyone gets cucked eventually, yeah. Done my fair share of cucking as asshole teenager, then got cucked to hell and back by a girl I fell in love with. Can’t complain, I had it coming, but that’s when I gave up on relationships.

nah, it's quite indecipherable

Don't do Africa, head to Uruguay, Argentina, or Brasil after having saved up some euros (DO NOT SWAP FOR LOCAL CURRENCY UNTIL YOU HAVE GOTTEN OFF THE PLANE AND CAN GET REAL EXCHANGE RATES) Alternatively parts of Asia can be good if you're trying to live cheaply as an expat. Latin America is way more violent than most of Africa but its also more developed. In a lot of English speaking Africa you will be immediately seen as an outsider and a potential target , I've lived all over the world, and South Africa and Botswana were the worst security situations I was in as a foreigner. I unironically felt safer doing charity work in some of Brasil's worst favelas than I did in "safe" parts of Johannesburg. And I dont mean the cool exciting danger that you can brag to friends about, but the "Damn, if someone breaks in while I'm here I'm going to be slowly tortured and raped to death because I'm guilty of being white" type of danger, which is what happened to one of my neighbors. Latam criminals tend to not have the same type of racial animosity towards whites that African criminals do.

>Latam criminals tend to not have the same type of racial animosity towards whites that African criminals do.
Does the language barrier create less of barrier then, in your experience - or do you speak Spanish/Portuguese ? Also which parts of Asia ?

>less of barrier
I meant make you less of a target

>charity work

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mfw the cyberpunk timeline is actually going to be the reality . Technology is decreasingly no longer a tool that enhances and extends our autonomous volition and increasingly becoming an imposing and coercive force that stifles and constricts it. In 100 years you won't even be able to flee to the woods and hide. There won't be any forests. We're in for some crap.

youtube.com/watch?v=kyb3R9vAIbM

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All art is an attempt at self-oblivion.

It ain't easy being a midwit but I try, I try

technology IS us. read Mcluhan

I'm working all day every day these months. May God take care of me.

everyone hates america but the coming tech dystopia will be a lot less worse under their hegemony than china, but yeah we've been living in this weird unusual age of class mobility and freedom caused by the industrial revolution temporarily destabilizing the social hierarchy. it's all winding down now though.

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mcluhan is a lot of super vague woo, this is better

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I think the reality is that she herself does not know yet. At a certain point you'll have to communicate that you can't be around forever and make sure that she knows you will require some form of commitment.

what comes after technology?

Nah I would rather live under transparent brutality of China than the opaque oppression in the Diverse States of America

Who wrote/transcribed that ad copy? It's so bad. I would be embarrassed to have that associated with my book.

luckily you write your own ad copy for your self-published amazon stuff so that's a problem you'll never have to worry about !

Yes and no. I speak Portugese and its valuable being able to talk to locals to figure out where you should not go as a foreigner. If you're getting mugged understanding the criminals instructions might save you. Speaking the local language won't save you when a guns in your face but it might prevent the situation in the first place.

just asked the question of the century right there

You're probably right user, she's the epitome of indecision, I'll try to talk to her head on about this sometime instead of equivocating too subtly to hope to get any information from her reaction.

>stays single because of Yea Forums memes
Get a fucking grip

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>cheating is a Yea Forums meme

The only piece of media I have ever personally related to is unironically Ginger Snaps

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why?

Are you the femanon who posts here. I will marry you if you promise to read me your poetry late at night

Not gonna happen.
People have sex because it’s pleasurable, no one wants to have sex only to feel like shit while doing it.
You will remain frustrated and impotent as long as you have that mindset.

Muh cuckoldry bullshit is.

kek
retard

I feel a visceral hatred at mediocrity. I'm at a local author's reading now where I thought I'd meet people striving to reach the next pinnacle of writing and it's all old faggots and a few young people who write drippingly sweet adjective word salads. Why can't I find someone alive who's writing I thoroughly respect and want to learn from? I have this in my IRL job. I like having a mentor to learn from and try to surpass. Why is writing any different?

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Still can't get over how excellent this film is

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Ginger Snaps is basically about a codependent relationship between two sisters. The dominant sister comes to control and consume the younger sisters life. The dominant sister becomes a werewolf, enjoys her bestial side and totally destroys her sister's life. The younger sister gives everything she can to save the domineering sister from the Wolf, but it's in vain because she likes being the Wolf.
I found this movie right about when my brother's drug addiction reached its apogee. He had destroyed my life over and over. I watched this movie the day I called the cops and had him removed from my home. Thats about the period where I stopped having empathy altogether. My cat was just eaten by a coyote and I'm actually glad its gone because I was tired of having to reciprocate affection.

>Get a fucking grip
this guy does not get it

You will forever be the Taiwanese prisoner whose only love is a cartoon on the wall. Someone should shop that onto the Plato's cave allegory

>used to really love Mulholland Drive when I was a lot younger
>get way more life experience since then
>read way more philosophy and literature since then
>decide to re-watch it one day
>"Let's see how lame it is, now that I've evolved so much"
holy fuck... it's even BETTER when you're older!

I say again:

I am a girl, but do not post here usually. Trying to refrain from writing poetry until I regain my control of words, but thank you anyway.
Other people's poetry is nice, though prose is infinitely better.

From doubt and suspicion to belief and trust. From invulnerability to vulnerability. From presumption to possession of truth to humility and acknowledgment of fallibility. From withdrawal and detachment to involvement and indwelling. From abstraction in the ‘theater of solitude’ to involvement in concrete context, community, and ongoing traditional practice. From intellectual combat (“hard ball”) to conviviality. . . .

how's it working out for you so far? asking for a friend.