Why does no one write epics these days?

Why does no one write epics these days?

I thought these kind of stories were meant to be timeless.

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There’s no universal truth anymore

because people are afraid to contend with giants.

There aren't any poets or novelists good enough to take up the task of writing one that will become a classic

because this is 2022 user. nobody wants, cares, thinks about, wonder about, gives a flying fuck, relates to, live anything close to an epic perspective.

wake the fuck up

This is a mediocre world. What would be epic about today?

The cataclysm of its destruction, the fallout of its disintegration. In order for an epic to be written we must ourselves become it's authors. Mediocrity breeds only more, Overcome thy Mediocrity

What are people going to write an epic about that people can relate to? Marathoning an entire season of a Netflix show in one night? Clown world needs to be nuked.

>What are people going to write an epic about that people can relate to?
Cosmic horror

Because everyone has been to school and college/universities. Obedience has been taught to them from a very young age by the govt. To write an epic that will definitely disagree with the modern world is an act of betrayal. Also, most people don't have the time to write as they're busy with problems of the modern world. Some places have wars, dictators, economic problems, diseases. Even raising a family can be a huge task that would severely affect your time to write an epic.
And even if you have the ability to write one and have the time, even fewer people would dedicate themselves. Cos why not just spend time scrolling through memes, jacking off to porn, then playing pc games and watching your fav tv show than spend a lot of time writing something that no one will read cos they're busy do the same time wasting distracting activities.
That's not even taking into account IQ or how much a person has read and learnt on his own(very few people read meaningful books).
There's a reason we have not had any geniuses in the modern age, cos their genius was killed by their parents and the govt at a very young age with a shitty education and a modern day diet which has next to no nutrients and lots of sugar and carbs.

Pretty much.

How? Only tame docile people survive in today’s world. Even big bad Putin is impotent. Nietzsche and Foucault talk about this phenomenon

>In order for an epic to be written we must ourselves become it's authors
facts

If God will not rain fire, we must like fire rise. EVOLVE OR DIE.

just wait and see

The only "Epics" people like nowadays are like Ulysses where it's about some pseud walking around his shithole town and going home to his cheating wife user. That's the deep, drama filled life people crave user.
It's kind of depressing to read them and realise life isn't even remotely like this. When there is actually a war on people find cringe ways of coping out of it because concepts like glory and honour are outdated for self enlightenment

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>Nietzsche and Foucault talk about this phenomenon
Tell me more.

Epic is an oral form. The catastrophe of Writing has befallen this world.

>concepts like glory and honour are outdated for self enlightenment
This. A coworker was badmouthing some guy who died for his country (Ukraine) one of these days.
He was like -The guy was wealthy, why didn't he just fled his country?
-Now he's dead. What a fool!

>The catastrophe of Writing has befallen this world.
This. Writing and its consequencies has been a disgrace for human race.

There are people writing epics. You need to look around. I don't know of any off the top of my head, but in a world of 7 billion people it's guaranteed that one of them is writing an epic poem somewhere.
There never was. That's not an excuse and it doesn't mean anything at all.
You don't know that.

No one 'writes' an epic, it's a gradual evolution that comes from generations of telling tales. The epics were almost already there it's just up to one or five poets to galvanize a particular telling of it.
Also it's out of fashion just like troubadours, Commedia dell'arte, opera, tin pan alley, kunstlerromans, fables, and abolitionist fiction in the vein of Uncle Tom's Cabin

what kind of epic could you even write in this day and age?
An epic story of an incel hero rising up against le liberals?
the epic of Clarence travelling around the world solving climate change?
the adventures of chudjack getting killed in Ukraine because he thought it would be like a marvel movie?

nothing epic about these times we live in.

>concepts like glory and honour are outdated
Think Gilgamesh:
-the fucker was being a nuisance for his own citizens enough, so that the gods created a beastman Enkidu to fight him
-except that beastman decided he'd better go fuck a whore, or something
-then, Gilgamesh and Enkidu instead of fighting decided to join forces and go murder a giant, who was guarding god Enlil's trees, despite that giant's pleas for mercy.
-then, they started insulting goddess Ishtar, and killed a Bull of Heaven
-then, after Enkidu got sick and died, Gilgamesh goes on a road-movie trip for some weeds,
-ultimately failing his quest and dying of old age

Except Enkidu, through Gilgamesh his lenience, friendship and respect, becomes more human-like and integrates into society.

The Heroic Age ended long ago.
We’re not even living in the Iron Age anymore, more like the Plastic Age.

>No one 'writes' an epic, it's a gradual evolution that comes from generations of telling tales. The epics were almost already there
>what kind of epic could you even write in this day and age?

Cf. Ball Ph. - "The Modern Myths. Adventures in the Machinery of the Popular Imagination" (2021)

Modern Myths are:
1. Robinson Crusoe (self-made man)
2. Don Quixote (incompatible-with-life-yet-beautiful delusion vs. pragmatic but ugly realism),
3. Frankenstein (successfully usurping gods' functions),
4. Faust (a deal with the devil),
5. Dracula (monster, successfully mimicking human behavior),
6. Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde (split-brain, disintegration of selfhood through science)
7. Sherlock Holmes (a hero, excelling at deduction, fighting a no-less-smart counterpart)
8. Folk-beliefs about zombies (contamination, becoming NPC through mere exposure to some external source, disintegration of selfhood, determinism, lack of free will)
9. War of Worlds (otherworldly invasion of a vastly overpowering enemy, defeated through luck/trickery)

Foucault-look up his panopticon theory. Everyone keeps an eye on everyone else and holds them accountable. Even those in power

Nietzsche-just read any of his books starting with Zarathustra or later. One of his big shticks is the search for the overman, aka a great man, because Christian morality has created weak subservient people

And how will you do that? Anons here can’t even talk to a girl, let alone bring fire down on earth. Lol

because valor was always a bullshit concept so you can look you family in the eye about being an invader and raping and pillaging so that your leaders can start messes you get to clean up while they fuck your wife and daughters so that one day when you are sitting in your bumfuck nowhere town in Iowa reminiscing about the only time any of note happened in your entire life.
We are just wise to the fact now

>valor was always a bullshit concept so you can
so you can hope for κλέος, as your only hopy for immortality. The function of a poet is to sing your fame, so that you won't be forgotten.

Through Overcoming, verily I say that even Yea Forums is to be Overcome. I do not say that Yea Forums is capable of it, or that the anons here have the Will to Do, but it is the only solution: the Final Solution. Life over Death. Become the Solution, seek the fluxion, embrace the manifold. Thus speaks Mephistopheles.

>only *hope* for immortality
*typo, fuck

easy there Bill Gates
immortality is a bullshit concept too even the rocks outside that have been there since before your birth will be eroded away
Stop seeking praises from the worms that will eat your corpse

Kek

Your father is a coward, and your mother is a whore.

>21st century mindset
You're the reason no one writes epics anymore

Wrong, there is at least one epic poem from this year

Since nobody is actually offering any examples, I would highly recommend picrel. Published 1992.

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because myths are dead

I'm currently composing the Trumpiad, but I won't finish and release it until the man passes. ama.

>water is wet
No shit Sherlock
Shit out an epic for me. Do it. You Won't

Checked, Kek be praised

QUO VADIS?

The Floppeid by Anonymous (2022) so far:

Sing, muse, of the hero
Floppa, whose wrath and rage
Beckoned many to assuage
And brought many diseases
Upon the human world
both troons and fags
into hell were hurled
shut up airhead, said my dad
but i thought 'i dont think that bad'
Is "Numquam femina eris" inquit.
"Si ubera habes, ostende!" dicit.
but before we continue, how about a little joke?
im straight *badum-tss*
roses are red, violets are I dunno
purple, as god made them on day three
and such flowers did make a cat shout
On the fourth day God appeared and said
Your asinine remarks would make even a saint pout
[autistic sperging]
But let us ignore that buffoon and his story about Warkhag
The story is lost in time
And the author lost in holes in a public bathroom
Let us now return to Floppa and his flowers
But who among the gods was it that brought Floppa and Warkhag together to contend?
The son of Dindu and Wewuz, Jamal the BBC bearer
ah shit i forgot i cant read
Mutt’s law, the work already tainted
the kingdom of sicily
niggers did this
akhshartag was born a son from heaven, floppa, he was a giant fag though and died of being a massive faggot, though his wife, before his death, bore him three mighty sons, ripafloppa, arpafloppa and kurafloppa
And now
For something completely different
For Sneed`s feed and seed
negar gangstar fards, this wicked wheel
Hī dindu nuffin
How about another joke, Floppa?
You ever see a donkey eat figs?
I do as often as Muslims touch pigs.

hey i made that thread

Tears are in mine eyes. Truly an inspired work of our generation.

You should make another one, we need more chapters

Pseud take. Clearly have never read the book.
>was only a nuisance because he was a young man full of power, the gods created enkidu to be his brother and friend, and equal to temper his pride and power
>enjoys only fucked shamat because she was teaching him about the world of man. It’s an allegory for man being primal and biting from the apple. That how I took it at least but it’s better than “he fucked a whore or something”
>Wild-Cow Ninsun adopted enkidu because he was supposed to be his equal, once again ask me how I know you didn’t read it. They embarked on an EPIC quest to kill Humbaba in the forest of cedars because it was an EPIC task. Hence why it’s called an EPIC. People like you are the reason we don’t have epic stories anymore because you can’t see the glory in such a task.
>Ishtar was a cunt, Gilgamesh rightfully told her to fuck off because she screwed over the last 10 husbands she had. Ishtar proceeded to wail like a bitch to her father, who gave her the bull of heaven after her whining caused people on earth to fucking die. Gilgamesh and Enmidu slay the bull who wreaked havoc on Uruk.
>Enkidu is befallen by the gods as punishment because the gods are kikes, Gilgamesh rightfully fears for his own death so he goes to find Uta Napishti the Distant who is the only immortal man. He wants to be immortal too. He finds him after going through shit and learns to folly of his quest. He realizes the logos of man isn’t immortality, but to be a servant to god/s, and that we have other things that make our lives worth living.
>he didn’t fail at all, it’s a coming of age story where the young Gilgamesh learns from Uta Napishti what a king should be, since after the deluge man has been wandering aimlessly, kind of like how after the French Revolution, man has been a faggot and wandering without his archetypes.
Read the book faggot. You might actually learn something.

Gay-clown world

Dubs of truth checked

*>enkidu only fucked shamat

they do, we just don't know yet which one those are, because these type of epics prove their value by the amount of time that has passed since they were written down. The older, the better

do you think that epics are written about ordinary people. is lit that retarded? epics are written about dudes taken action in the tanks they stole with tractors, not joe blow going to his mundane job that he hates only to return home to a wife that resents him and offspring that are too plugged in to feel anything.

There's no extraordinary people anymore.

>user had to use 10% power just this once
I KNEEL

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*Are

>Anons here can’t even talk to a girl
Speak for yourself.
The thing is pick-up culture is quite dangerous and ultimately not worthwile these days.
You better off seeing a whore unironically.

What I said is grammatically correct. You aren't smart as you think you are.

You’re wrong anyways, there are absolutely extraordinary people in the world today.

*As smart

Got em

Name one (1) lmao

>Stop seeking praises from the worms that will eat your corpse
Go away, Machado. Shoo!

>Stop seeking praises from the worms that will eat your corpse
Let's cum until we die then, I suppose?

There’s no market for it by name, they still are made though. Something like berserk is this. There’s no big market for verse, and sure you can say and I agree that the average person won’t relate to the epic, this mundane time has nothing to make epic, but epics were almost never written on one’s own time, but always the past or somewhere distant, and the language and world of poetry is never the common peoples world, even in the most rustic of poets.


Realistically if you wanted to write an epic, most people will just write it in prose and call it fantasy, or rework it into a different more modern setting, or into comic and anime tropes to make it sell.

Xi Jinping

I know I will ;3

??? The implication was that if some guy is is too nervous to talk to a girl, he will not be a man of action, a revolutionary, etc

I said people.