Opener lines for novel

I recommend something interesting like an onomatopoeia. also include something unique like pancakes or a golden retriever, for instance.

I start with a dialogue.

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The dark rider swept over the desert sand.

you're supposed to write the opening for last

>less
fewer

>Today, mom died. Or maybe yesterday, I don't know. I received a telegram from the old people's home: "Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Very sincerely yours." That doesn't mean anything. It might have been yesterday.

>mom
disgusting

a screaming comes across the sky

Gully Foyle is my name, Terra is my nation, deep space is my dwelling place, and the stars my destination.

>Nabokov was an esl,
He wasn't though

someone post suttree's

>*Yep, this is me. You might be wondering how I ended up in this situation."

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Is that a gender?

You just start the story normally. I hate those pretentious faggots trying to pull the most epic loldeep phrase on line one. Can't stand that shit

It was a dark and stormy night

based kickham

It was a chucky and sneedy night...

It was a beautiful clear skied morning.
Women were hated
Ishmael burned himself
And Lolita did some writing.

I’m going to kill my boss today
Said the sound of the piss in the bowl
And then a faggot came and shitted up the thread
Until Shakespeare started

Lost faggots recommend onomatopoeia
And dialogue and desert sand
And openers for last

Fewer disgusting screams come across the sky
Where Gully Foyle is my name and Terra is my guy
He wasn’t suttree
Is that gender?

You start the story normally with pretentious faggots
Pulling in the dark night
A based and kicky chucky and sneedy night

"One cannot raise walls against what has been forgotten.
The citadel of Ishuäl succumbed during the height of the Apocalypse. But no army of inhuman Sranc had scaled its ramparts. No furnace-hearted dragon had pulled down its mighty gates. Ishuäl was the secret refuge of the Kûniüric High Kings, and no one, not even the No-God, could besiege a secret.
Months earlier, Anasûrimbor Ganrelka II, High King of Kûniüri, had fled to Ishuäl with the remnants of his household. From the walls, his sentries stared pensively across the dark forests below, their thoughts stricken by memories of burning cities and wailing multitudes. When the wind moaned, they gripped Ishuäl’s uncaring stone, reminded of Sranc horns. They traded breathless reassurances. Had they not eluded their pursuers? Were not the walls of Ishuäl strong? Where else might a man survive the end of the world?
The plague claimed the High King first, as was perhaps fitting: Ganrelka had only wept at Ishuäl, raged the way only an Emperor of nothing could rage. The following night the members of his household carried his bier down into the forests. They glimpsed the eyes of wolves reflected in the light of his pyre. They sang no dirges, intoned only a few numb prayers.
Before the morning winds could sweep his ashes skyward, the plague had struck two others: Ganrelka’s concubine and her daughter. As though pursuing his bloodline to its thinnest tincture, it assailed more and more members of his household. The sentries upon the walls became fewer, and though they still watched the mountainous horizon, they saw little. The cries of the dying crowded their thoughts with too much horror.
Soon even the sentries were no more. The five Knights of Trysë who’d rescued Ganrelka after the catastrophe on the Fields of Eleneöt lay motionless in their beds. The Grand Vizier, his golden robes stained bloody by his bowel, lay sprawled across his sorcerous texts. Ganrelka’s uncle, who’d led the heartbreaking assault on Golgotterath’s gates in the early days of the Apocalypse, hung from a rope in his chambers, slowly twisting in a draft. The Queen stared endlessly across festering sheets."

This is fucking terrible. How can you possibly think this shit is good? Read a book or two.

Whats behind your eyes? An unknown entity.

Saw that on lit sometime ago sounded gud

Hitler was a sensitive man

This is literally the opening to a published book

people who read fantasy lap that shit up

I don't know what an esl is.

Agreed. Listen to this guy.

That just makes it even worse. How did this garbage get published?

If it makes you feel any better, the author who wrote that got dropped for his publisher because his series was that terrible.

kek classic

Yeah, it's pretty terrible. Makes me wonder who can ever enjoy that shit.

The sun almost ignited the dry hot air, while the leaves of the trees that lined up around the graveyard showed their darkest green. Today, X thought, I will ...

A shot rang out.

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*

My butthole had never been so enflamed. They said the peppers would feel the same coming out as they did going in. They lied. It's worse.

The merry month of May has always been famous for its propitious influence over the voluptuous senses of the fairer sex.

Ass-creaming came across this guy.

The calamities that have since plagued my life from the start of the year began, as most misfortunes so often do, with a woman.

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Kino

A scream rent the air

copy pasted this quote into google and a thread about the best prose from r/fantasy showed up.

>Admiring what I've done, finally beginning to feel the consequences coil around my heart, I realized I should've killed myself all those years ago.

>Above all things, I fear that God will forgive me.

>And so, the sun rises anew.

>best prose from r/fantasy showed up.
Jesus christ, what the fuck. Please tell me you're joking. I refuse to believe this.

no, and two replies agreeing

Hello, and welcome to my story.

She was really into anal.

>I'm pretty much fucked.

“Orange MIO soaked into the grid paper, and I wept”

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English second language

I read it in a voice of a Conan audiobook I once listened too.
voca.ro/17rZkFI7S3Cm

the voice inspiration: Phil Chenevert- librivox.org/the-devil-in-iron-by-robert-e-howard/

I really like his cadence.

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>I'm going to kill my boss today. I might kill myself too, but if I do it won't be until sometime next week.
This is the only one I liked.

Christ, those fags are truly lost then.