Now that the dust has settled, we can all agree that she wasn't a virgin...

>Is god
>Never finds men interesting despite giving them a chance
>Regrets wasting any time on them
I'm just saying, it's totally within her power to restore her virginity. If you consider it a physical thing that can be 'restored' and not a social concept, in which case that's a whole other can of worms but still probably within her power if she's really all-powerful I guess.

There's a high chance Haruhi is disappointed in sex overall.

Its possible she needs an emotional connection to fully enjoy sex.

Well Haruhi subconsciously wants the best romance with Kyon possible which one hundred percent includes losing her virginity to him, so if she did have sex with someone before then she probably erased it from history with her powers. We saw in endless eight that Haruhi can erase her own memories if she "wants" to

But it's said that she would often dump them the same day, they would have to bang her in school
One week was the longest, wasn't it?

Is this a pun in French or am I over-thinking it?

Why not on purpose?

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Haruhi =/= Aya

these niggas know

Yeah Haruhi is a far bigger slut, Aya is pretty much a virgin next to Haruhi

Because she doesn't know why something like that would turn me on.

She has the thiccest ass in underaged anime history.

stay on topic

Haruhi only dated boys but was never interested in them
She probably just talked to them but never even kissed them or held hands with them

let go

She made money in middle school by working in her local gloryhole. She also had plenty of gangbangs with old salarymen for money, but she really just enjoyed it and would have done it for free anyway.

She could quantum superposition her virginity or something, have it when she wants it and doesn't when she doesn't.

I'd figure there's probably a few lost universes she's made that's pretty much just her exploring her wet dreams and not realizing she's creating super hot studs to bang with, before de-existing everything to return to 'normal' and thinking it was all just a dream.

>haha
Fuck off, ironic weeb.

She organized gangbangs in the school's baths

Anime girls don't have sex, silly user

If the doujins are any indication, you could probably get her to have sex with you by telling her it was the way to find aliens

She fell in love with Kyon.
Why do you think she went to North high/kitakou?

>he thinks she fights it
Motherfucker what do you think they do every minute the rest of the club isn't around?

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Haruhi = Aya a lot more than you'd think.

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Bicker and chat about weird stuff they like.

With John Smith you mean, she projects John onto Kyon.

Aya is kinda Haruhi at her worst.

Will we ever find out what happened?

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>virginity is a social concept
Yeah man intact hymens totally aren’t real

So a female that was dicked by a thousand niggers but then had a restorative surgery on her hymen would be a pure virgin waifu to you?

>what's is breaking hymen in masturbation

>I broke it horse riding
I bet you did, whore.

Why can’t I hold all these straws?

t. Toastie roastie cope

Either that or you have to admit it's a social concept.
Fuck off schizo

You are showing that you know nothing about her VA.

But the real question is, would Kyon care that Haruhi fucked her entire middle school baseball team?

>all but Taniguchi

even the quiet girl who sits at the back of the class is a huge whore

You take that back, Yuki is pure.

Hymens are a biological construct, no matter how hard you cry.

No one except you is talking about hymens, autistic fuck.

he said "we will never have a 3rd season". he's clearly faced reality

Yes, but we'll never have it because Tanigawa is a talentless hack. The source material goes to shit after Snowy Mountain Syndrome anyway.

My theory is that the length of time she dated someone roughly corresponded to the size of their dick.

I don't think he ever brings the whole dating thing up again after the first few novels, so probably not.

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Dissociation - Surprise story is better than Disappearance story
Change my mind

>ITT /trash/ want their fantasies to be true
I doubt that she even let any one of her "dates" kiss her, probably smacked them and dumped them as soon as they tried to make a move. You can't touch her if you're not a super interesting alien, or an enigma like John Smith

Based

This

It’s... canon that Sato had sex. She even says something to the effect of “we had sex but I could never feel the love.”

non-virgins are worthless

>being this deluded

This.

Also, OP is a faggot.

She was definitely riding "something".

>durr my waifu can't be impure

A hill is a social construct if you examine it from the right angle. Saying "x is a social construct" is just the same as saying "x is an idea I don't like".

>implying a japanese girl who's not even interested in ordinary humans let alone romantic relationship would have sex at the age of 12-15
Not turning down anyone when she was asked out was her way of searching for aliens and stuff back then, period
She probably hoped to find someone like John, who knows aliens, espers and time travelers

>not even interested in ordinary humans let alone romantic relationship
Did you literally forget the tidbit about her dating tons of guys in middle school?
>Not turning down anyone when she was asked out
Apparently you didn't, so why the willful ignorance? She dated at least one of them for a week. Do you really think someone as curious as Haruhi wouldn't try sex even once? Do you really believe someone as open-minded as Haruhi would have moral reservations about fucking? Face the reality of facts.

how so?

It's not, though. All I'm saying is that it's a meaningful difference here if you're talking about some kind of immutable physical characteristic, such as the aforementioned hymen which has always been a terrible metric but at least it's a start or just people saying words. Because both can be manipulated by a sufficiently powerful deity, but they're different types of issues. Don't get your panties in a twist over one of the most mainstream schools of philosophical thought.

it's less about hymens being broken and more about knowing that another man has been jamming his cock inside your girl which both makes sex with you two less special for her and makes her more disgusting for you unless you're lobotomized or just trying to cope, knowing deep down that it's true. thank god us anime fans never have to worry about that though haha

>Did you literally forget the tidbit about her dating tons of guys in middle school?
Did you literally not read what he wrote?

Kek fucking virgins debating whether a fictional character has had sex or not, none of you have even seen a vagina in real life nerds.

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I don't know how much more obvious they could make it, the real question is just how far it could've gone.

Yeah if this is how they looked like when they were just starting

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What are you even doing on Yea Forums?

>Apparently you didn't,
Does your ADHD prevent you from reading the posts in their entirety?

>thank god us anime fans never have to worry about that though
Unless you decide to waifu used goods.

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>believe me bruh, she's a whore that's done it dozens of times
Yeah, just a bunch of cucks

come on user this is waifuism 101

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Unrelated. If you pick, say, Haruhi as a waifu, she's already a non-virgin slut.

I've definitely had more sex/girls than you and I'd probably jerk off on the spot if I found out Haruhi had canonically taken dick.

But who's dick? As we've established with she's at least gotten close to Kyon's. Plus there's the time in one of the later books that Kyon wakes up in her bed for reasons, but she barely even reacts beyond a little surprise that he's there when he shouldn't be.

They're dating in the college, it wasn't even subtle.

That too, but that's kind of beyond the scope of this. I think.

>spoiler
And that was 1 month in the future after the battle in the club room. She reacted like it was nothing and hadled the situation very well. Who knows what they were doing during that month lmao. And what is the symbolism of him getting sent by Yasumi/Haruhi's subconcious to like 2-3 years in the future and meeting college Haruhi, then 1 month in the future to Haruhi's bed in the middle of the night while she's sleeping anyway?

So did Kyon ever give her the dick or what?

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unironically this

yes in the future

It's not. You wrote that he wakes up in bed with her. This was taking place in college, hence I mentioned it.

Are the LN's for this completed already? I stopped reading in the middle of the volume that split into alpha and beta timelines(?).

No and they never will be. Tanigawa doesn't give a shit, as he can comfortably NEET it up from royalties for the rest of his life.

That's not how you use meme arrows Reddit.

Regardless of who was what before, neither Kyon nor Haruhi's v-cards are surviving the two of them meeting.

Oh wow, it's that profitable? I thought you'd have to be like dragonball level popular in order to get to that level.

You're trying too hard, newfriend-kun.

As long as you don't blow it up every other night in drugs and whores you can last for a while with something moderately popular.

You don't need much to be a NEET, provided you're not financially challenged.

It might not be these days but Haruhi was the biggest fucking thing for a while when the series first aired.

You anons go to far that's my waifu, that's my waifu you're talking about.

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It sold millions upon millions of copies. If he made even 10 cents per sale, he's set up for life.

I guess I'm being hasty and assuming the dude lives in Tokyo where the cost of living is relatively higher. Maybe it's easier on the wallet where he lives.
There's no doubt that it was big during its time. In fact, I consider it big enough to have helped Lucky Star's popularity thru making Haruhi references, even though the meme "buy haruhi dvds" sounds like the other way around.

Oh my god, I didn't think of it like that but it's true. Product placement for Haruhi made another show sell better.

She's too hot for a third season, if you know what I mean.

I have no idea what you mean but I want to impregnate Haruhi.

Get in line and don't forget a tent, the queue is long.

she liked the novelty but subconsciously she craved john smith's john smith

I would also not object to running a train on her, so that works too.

Even a god can't win against the D.

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s3 soon

season three
say it with me

Season Three!
Say it with me!

SEASON THREE!!
SAY IT WITH ME!!!

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It's now closer than ever desu
New short stories & book reprints & KyoAni needs money

closer than ever exept that time when we didn't know what Haruhi Hunting was about

You know, given the link between the nutcase and the book competition, I wouldn't be surprised if they cancelled it entirely or at least suspended it for a few years to institute better screening or something. Might make them more open to working with properties they don't own again, though I'd still not be holding my breath for S3 to be the result of that.

God dammit she's cute, forget sex I just want to nibble on her ear

Haruhi's interesting for how she's able to conjure two completely different energies at once, without either really feeling in conflict with the other.

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I want to nibble on her ear and then fuck her silly!

You wouldn't fuck a Haruhi.

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She would fuck me.

Endless Eight lasted 595 years and 270 days, holy shit. Never did the math on that before.

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That's why Nagato went fucking haywire

it's kinda rare to do both aspects as well as she does

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Japanese men can't satisfy her
Plus she would have been 12-14 when she dated those guys
I'm sure they weren't even dates. She was just looking for anyone that would sound like John Smith.
She loves Kyon and losing her virginity to him is a part of it.
They already have had their first kiss.
Kyon probably has a 10 inch dick because Haruhi subconsciously wants him to have one.

I'm not sure what specific element it would be but I'm sure that Kyoani's above average female staffing has a lot to do with it.

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Threads like this have, and always will be, tumblr tier romance faggotry.

Imagine snorting cocaine from her poop hole

She tried sex once and lost interest in it, like everything she did

Reminder to read this
danbooru.donmai.us/pools/1004

>reading fanfiction
No thanks.

>newer comics will never be translated

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Girls don't masturbate.

flat-earthers get out.

imagine being violated in all kinds of strategy games by her

That's a fetish I never knew I had.

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> tfw haruhi willl never ever be real

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This is smug that could end worlds.

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stoooooooooppp

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>SOS My dog ate me!
What did she mean by this?

I had a dream where I was having an online chat with Haruhi and I was about to confess to her but she called me silly and told me she already has a bf

Based Haruhi.

The real answer: She had tons of it during this time with a good portion of boys she dated, and although she enjoyed the physical pleasure of it at times, it was overall a disappointment after what she had read in fiction. This is somewhat depressing for her

my ISP is rangebanned from making threads so I'm just gonna ask here
is he the dumbest MC in history of anime?

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>ISP is rangebanned from making threads
I can see why.

at least post on a S;G thread fucking retard

but there isn't one
there was yesterday though

The real question is if Haruhi is for hugs or fugs.

that's a trick question

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Watching her cynical exterior melt in the alternative timeline was great. Her and Kyon are just so inherently compatible in what they bring out of each other, no matter the circumstances.

>bad at sex

Both the LN and the movie beautifully handled Haruhi's instant transformation from haughty turbo bitch to bright sunshine. It's almost magical the influence Kyon has on her.

The thing is it's completely mutual. Even Kyon, the massive tsundere that he is, has to stare down the fact that he vastly prefers his life with her in it versus a safer and more predictable experience. I mean it's essentially the point of the film and the arc that the film was adapting to begin with.

Well, I hate to derail the thread more, but here it is. Yes, a hill can be seen as a social construct, because what's the distinction between a hill and a mountain? What's the difference between a hill and a valley? All social constructs, words we have created to describe reality. Sure, the hill does exist, and it's over there. But describing it as a hill is a social construct, just as is every name we give to things, or every distinction we make between objects. Where one object ends and the other begins can even be considered a social construct.

I think you made a mistake in thinking that people were objecting to the whole social construct thing, when that's incidental. People were objecting to the idea that virginity isn't a literal, tangible thing. In other words don't waste your breath, even though you're absolutely right.

She's not *your* waifu, she's Kyon's waifu.

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>Everybody in the reaction shot notices and moves on different frames
It's the little things.

Simultaneous movement is distractingly unrealistic.

Yeah, but a lot of studios would just have one or two 'crowd reaction' type frames rather than bothering to animate them independently. Plus even after the initiation of action, they continue to animate at different frames to get the most perceived movement out of what's only a few a person.

She's Kyon's wife, user's waifu.

This. Haruhi is exactly the type to think sex is kind of boring and a waste of time.

Given how little she thinks of any man that's not Kyon it'd make sense. It's a feeling she can get herself, without having to put up with men. Though she does seem pretty touchy-feely with Mikuru so maybe that's only for men.

He didn't wake up in college Haruhi's bed. It was high-school haruhis bed, 1 month after the final events of the last arc. He time-travelled twice.
I really recommend reading the even the last 2 volumes of the novel. Haruhi felt that her friends were in danger that is beyond human capablities so she unconsciously unlocked several powers to save her friends. She can time travel without a TPDD, create an alternate universe (isekai) that she can mold into her ideal reality and merge with the current one, and control the celestials which can manifest into another person's supposedly impregnable closed-space. It was awesome. This is proof that Haruhi is God.

Haruhi's actions towards Mikuru are more predatory than sexual. It's like they say about rapists: the motive is power, not sex.

My headcanon is that Haruhisky's art is canon. After Haruhi starred in anime and Disappearance, she wasn't able to find any new jobs and had to finally settle for participating in pornographic photoshoots to keep the money flowing. These photoshoots are depicted in Haruhisky's art.

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>My headcanon is that Haruhisky's art is canon
Yup, not bothering with the rest

I like to think of them as alternate realities that Haruhi creates to keep the sex life with Kyon interesting

That's very true. Haruhi's relationship with sex is kind of interesting. While she shows minimal interest in it herself, between having totally abandoned men after allowing as many as possible to try and capture her interest and her complete indifference in scenes like and her deliberate sexualisation of herself and Mikuru when she thinks it might benefit her. And then of course she's clearly not completely removed from sexuality, with her care for her privacy suddenly rearing its head when stranded with Kyon in the island arc. She'd probably fall under one of the trendy new orientations, asexual or something. Aside from one person she's emotionally engaged with, it just kind of washes over her like water off a duck's back. Sometimes sexuality is useful, hence the bunnysuits, but it never really engages with her beyond that utility.

...

It's subtle yet very telling that her feelings for Kyon made her pay attention to her sexuality.

I think stuff like that is part of why the show still stands out compared to a lot of imitators over the years. Really consistent and deep characterization. Not deep as in complex and involved but more as in how it penetrates through the show so effectively. Aspects of characters show up in all sorts of places that they just wouldn't with a lazier studio or dumber source material.

Why should we care about if she's a virgin or has sexual feelings?

Cuz she's hot.

That's a non sequitur if there ever was one.

I think she's cute, but she's a character in a anime show.

He has too many cocks in his head, no bully.