Few are aware of this story, but have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Yamakan?
I thought not. It's not a story the otaku would tell you. It's a KyoAni legend. Darth Yamakan was a Dank Lord of the ED, so powerful and so wise he could use the ED to influence other animators to create shitty copies... He had such a knowledge of the dank side that he could even animate characters he didn't care about to dance. The dank side of animation is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his job, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice surpassed him in his absence. It's ironic he could draw others to look happy, but not himself.
Dear KyoAni, I wrote you but you still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home address at the bottom I sent two messages back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the public relations office or somethin' Sometimes I spas out too much when I tweet 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? KyoAni how's your building?
Dear KyoAni, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad - I just think it's fucked up you don't answer chads If you didn't wanna employ me outside Lucky Star you didn't have to, but you coulda let me sign an autograph for laughter That's my fetish man, I like otakus who are around 10 years old I'm waiting here in the blistering cold for you how many more hours, can't you just say "No." That's pretty shitty guys - I'm like the studio's fuckin' idol They wants to be just like me, they like me more than they like you I ain't that mad, though, I just don't like bein' fired too Remember when we met in the studio, you said if I draw for you, you would step back See, I'm just like you in a way I never knew my calling either, I used to always act weird around the staff and linger I can relate to the cuties you're painting in your anime So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and masturbate Cuz I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a direct line with Anno to confess Sometimes I even draw Haruhi to see how much it means It's like adrenaline, the connection is such a sudden rush for me
Dear Yamakan, we meant to write you sooner but we've obviously been busy You said your career's fucked now, how far gone is it? Look,we're really flattered you would call us back and here's an autograph shit for you you can write and harken back We're sorry we didn't see you at the funeral, we musta missed you Don't think we did that shit intentionally just to diss you And what's this shit you said about how we like to just do moe shit too we do that shit ironically, c'mon how dumb is you? You got some issues Yamakan, I think you need some counseling to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit'll make us not want to work with each other I really think you and your ego need each other or maybe you just need to build it up better
Yamakan, I hope you get to read this message I hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine if you relax a little, we're glad we inspire you but Yamakan why are you so far gone? Understand, that we do want you as a friend We just don't want you to do some crazy shit we saw this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made us sick Some otaku bitch was paranois and pushed some gasoline into our digs and had a vendetta to avenge, but was busy playing games, and in an interview they found a motive and he said they stole his shit Come to think about, the name was, it was VEG, Damn!
>you said your career is fucked now, how far gone is it?
lmao
Connor Barnes
Just shut up a little
Hunter Powell
What can you learn from an otaku?
David Walker
>I can relate to the cuties you're painting in your anime So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and masturbate Cuz I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a direct line with Anno to confess
Is there any proof that Yamakan wasn't the one behind Kyoani fire? That Shinji dude was just a pawn. Yamakan is the obvious mastermind behind this atrocity.
Seriously, does this man have to consider himself unlucky for being fired and the scarce public acknowledgment of his works or lucky that this led him to avoid the most terrible bullet in the recent Anime history?
Gavin Turner
You might call him the Lucky Star
Sorry, I had to
Benjamin Jackson
Not really. It's not like ALL the directors are there.
