You think araragi and shinobu hook up when crab is out of town?

hanekawa on suicide watch

I wish, but she has infinite plot armor.

exactly lmao

He needs someone to turn to every time he and crab break up.

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isn't he living together with Karen? last time I remember they still get along well

Shinobu is a virgin and all her eggs dried up centuries ago. She loves Araragi but in a platonic way.

Oh yeah, that's why she pulls a bunch of "haha, how funny would it be if we totally made out?" and "gee, I'd have sex with anyone who has the guts to ask me, but nobody has" around him.

Literally just bants. If she wanted to fuck she would have already. See also: monkey

Kanbaru doesn't have to stop and compose herself when Araragi flirts back.

If these two were to bang wouldn't it create a sort of feedback loop between their genitals since they can each feel what happens to the other?

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Shinobu feels Araragi's sensations. It only goes one way.

So then she would experience both sides of the dicking simultaneously then

Yeah. Araragi is guaranteed to please her.

this ain't no virgin tongue my guy

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She's really good at learning physical skills.

oh she's gettin some knowledge alright, she gon learn today.

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I don't remember this ever happening. What episode?

Some time during Oni. Stop skipping OPs and EDs in Shaft series.

Good thing she can just dump blood on Araragi if she ever needs to mend his shattered pelvis.

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youtube.com/watch?v=1eOefd87-rk i missed it too my first watch thru, sauce of the famous shinobu line "are you an italian?!"

The comments never fail to give me cancer

it's way more than platonic, they're said out loud in kizumonogatari and owarimonogatari 2 they would commit suicide if the other died.

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well i hope you're ready for your chemo

It's certainly the most intimate relationship in the series.

>her eggs dried up centuries ago
Her rapid regeneration prevents all parts of her body from degenerating. You can even pull out her entire reproductive system and it will just be replaced by a new one.

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I'm pretty sure her reproductive system works the same way a republican senator thinks it would.

Heh. Elaborate.

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I would bet that Shinobu can become fertile/infertile at will because of shapeshifting and how perceptions and subconscious desires affect oddities.

Wasn't what I meant, spazz. Elaborate on what your average Republican congressman thinks about ovaries.

Oh, that women can "shut down" their ovaries if they don't have "legitimate" sex and thus if a women gets pregnant it's proof that the sex she had was consensual. Yes, really.

Read that on snopes, did you?

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>snopes
Nah, I read the news articles and saw the interview clips.

So you can farm her reproductive system for infinite pocket pussies?

>i read the news articles
Yeah, wapo and huffpo and whatever else, huh?

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Nah. They evaporate when they cease to be part of her body. The series has been over it.

youtube.com/watch?v=yKa5CY-KOHc

oof

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>implying they don't have threesomes

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That is fucking adorable.

Has crab ever interacted with bat?

They saw each other in the second episode of Bake, and that's it.

>It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors that's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. Let's assume that maybe that didn't work or something. You know, I think there should be some punishment. But the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_from_rape#Rate
At the time, when that interview was aired, there were studies being conducted to determine whether or not the chance of pregnancy resulting from a sexual assault was greater or lower than the chance of pregnancy from consensual sex. My mother was a researcher at the time, an OB/GYN, and was involved with several projects funded by the US Military on the subject. Why the US military was the one funding it, I have no idea. That was 25 years ago.

Anyway, it's not a new study. You can go back decades to see research being done on this subject. When I was in graduate school, from 2007-2011, I was involved in a federally funding research project on prostitution and the sex industry. One of the side projects was determining whether or not the odds of getting preggers were higher or lower when prostituting yourself.

Government officials read those reports. At least, they're supposed to. I get a cheap laugh out of the knowledge that some government drone read my article on streetwalking whores guzzling goo for crack money.

Maybe instead of feeling whatever the media tells you to feel, you go and read the articles. Here's a hint, dismiss anything that states its findings are "qualitative". It's bullshit.

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>they cease to be part of her body
How about if we cut her perfectly in between and two parts got confused who is the main body; Will both half simultaneously regenerate the other missing halves?

If it does then we can repeat the process and have a full herd of Shinobus.

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the catalog gods smile on this affair

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Like I'm going to read some damage control copypasta.

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pretty sure it doesn't regenerate it teleports back

>so much of a newfag underage b& he doesn't know all the copypastas by heart
go back and stay go

No need to get fancy. She clones herself in a side story.