Is being a fan of Rei missing the point?

Absolutely. I hate to admit it, but FPBP.

I think what's most frustrating about Reifags is that Anno made Rei to represent what every socially inept anime watcher would want, just some quiet, submissive girl of nothingness with no real features. So then when people say "omg I want to make Rei my waifu!!!" not only are they absolutely not getting what Anno's point is, but they're exactly what he's trying to "Criticize". She's really not human, at all, either genetically or mentally. She's this weird amalgamation of a blank slate that ends up caring for only the protagonist. In other words, a fake person. It's absolutely not anything that happens in a real human life. The whole big theme of Evangelion is actually facing life as it is. Because it's hard and it sucks but you can't run away. Asuka represents this theme the best for Shinji. She's harsh, has flaws, can be difficult, but she's a real person while Rei represents an idealization of a woman. Just as Instrumentality is accepting this "fake dream world" where everyone stands around you and tells you how proud they are of you and everything is great, rejecting it leaves Shinji in this desolate wasteland, but you have to reject it. It's the only way to actually face life and move forward. You have to pick Asuka. Rebuild also follows this, as by picking Rei, Shinji does not move or evolve, attempting to run back where it's safe (back to mother, basically) rather than facing the consequences of his action.

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Dont bring in Rebuild's stupidity.

If you try pulling that kind of message from 2.0, it would be:
If your friend (Asuka) is in trouble and you stand idle in fear of hurting them, they get hurt still and its your fault.
But if your other friend (Rei) is in trouble and you think you learned your lesson from last time and do everything to help - you accidently destroy the world, everyone will hate you, and you won't even succeed at saving them.

>people who want to escape from human interaction and want a pet to mold however they see fit
What's wrong with that?

source: Your ass

Rei-II is the worst choice with an incomplete soul resigned to be a tool.
Rei-III is a chad who does what she wants.

No. Rei is super fucking flawed. She can barely feel emotion, just goes along with anything anyone tells her to do, she's not "quiet", shes nothingness. She doesn't stay silent because she's shy or anything, she stays quiet because she doesn't have anything to say. No opinions to weigh in, nothing. She's just (literally and figuratively) a two dimensional character. It's not "Rei Vs. Asuka". Her character development is just vaguely appreciating the protagonist. She's like a caricature of the "shy" anime trophy waifu trope, so grossly exaggerated.

It's tempting because- like instrumentality, choosing her just means an existence where everything is A-OK and everyone appreciates you and no one says bad things and bad things never happen. But this isn't a real life. This isn't a life a person could possibly have. It's artificial, it's created. You have to reject it because it's hard, not because it's easy.

And that's what Asuka represents. She represents confronting your problems and actually tackling them. She represents living in the real world instead of some fantasy world. She's not going to tell you comfortable lies, she's going to tell you the harsh truth so you can fix yourself.

You can still like Rei for the "flavor" she adds in NGE as a foil to Asuka. You can even like her characterization more than Asuka, it doesn't matter. You're not supposed to ultimately fall in love with her like shes the "perfect girl" like so much of the NGE audience has done. Nothing insulting about it.

hideaki anno is missing the point of his own show if he thinks this is what he wrote

dumbest shit I've read all day

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cringed. do people like you even read their own shit before posting?