Do you ever feel like you wanna kill yourself not because you're depressed, but just like...

>or i could kill myself instead' and it starts to literally look like a viable option

That's depression user.

yes we all feel that way, we're living very unnaturally for what our bodies are evolved for so life feels overwhelmingly pointless to pretty much anyone who can think. i keep staying here because i don't want to off myself and make my grandmother sad. also the konosuba movie looks pretty good too i don't wanna miss that.

youtube.com/watch?v=2Z9xPJLwWJE

uhh, no that worked for you becauzse you were some insecure twink

Wrong board buddy

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>quit your job
so i can find another job that's also shitty except i'm new again now so i could get fired?
i had a good job once already, i've used up all my karma
i feel like getting a new job would just be a lot of stress to get to a different type of shity

what are you talking about, we're clearly discussing flcl

I was getting fat, actually. I cut down, stopped, drinking beer, and started getting back into lifting.

ALL FOR MY KING

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I just sense boredom and lack of purpose

that sounds like something that would help but who has time for that around shitty jobs
how did you make time?

It helps a lot if you have a set schedule for your jobs, and then work around that. A good workout session only lasts a mere 1-2 hours, twice a week. It gets easier the more you do it. The hardest part is the diet, because you need to eat a lot of food but the right kind.

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>my situation is shit and makes me want to kill myself but I cba to change my situation
Depression. Unless you force yourself to change your situation, or it changes by sheer luck without your intervention, you'll stay depressed. Your choice.
I went through daily suicidal thoughts and staying in bed all day on and off for 4 years until I moved and started over. Now that it's behind me I can say it's the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I do actually have a really pressing thing I need to do outside work that I enjoy a lot, but sometimes even knowing that I just start to feel so... tired

Answer me these things:
>Do you live in a place that has low/no sunlight?
>Does your job require you to be up late?
>How often do you masturbate? With porn? What kind?
>What is your BMI?
>Do you have debt, credit/loans?
>Do you have friends/family you can talk to?
>How often do you socialize?
>Drinking? Smoking? Drugs?

One of these may be the main cause of your depression, OP. First step is identifying which ones are doing the most damage.

I want to rope because I didn't take very good care of my teeth and now I might lose one. But then I think about people who are paralyzed or burned or born with horrible defects and realize I'm being a whiny bitch.

>tired
Are you sleeping enough? What is your sleep schedule?

every day.
>need a shower
>need 8 hours of sleep
>need 2 meals
>need a bunch of water
>need to shit and pee like 10 times a day
>need to get dressed
>need to do all these chores
>need to work 8 hours (probably)
>need to do a bunch of paperwork and pay bills and other bullshit
>all just to have a few hours where you're too exhausted to do anything
>my husbando will never be real so what's the point? I live just to read/watch more of his material at this point
>have drawn him enough that I have his appearance memorised down to the smallest detail, can recall images of him in my head, will make sure the last thought I have in life is of him
>he's the only reason i haven't kms yet

>flcl-fag wants to kill himself
I say do it, faggot.

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>Do you live in a place that has low/no sunlight?
No but I rarely go outside.
>Does your job require you to be up late?
No job, no sleep schedule, in bed by 10pm some nights, up until 2pm others, sleep 2-4 hours sometimes, 12-16 others.
>How often do you masturbate? With porn? >What kind?
Hentai duh
>What is your BMI?
overweight bordering on obese
>Do you have debt, credit/loans?
no because no college and no obligations since neet
>Do you have friends/family you can talk to?
parents
>How often do you socialize?
other than internet friends never
>Drinking? Smoking? Drugs?
Alcoholic, smoker and stoner.

Drawing keeps me from roping. Not very good but it gives me a vague sense of accomplishment.

>my husbando will never be real so what's the point? I live just to read/watch more of his material at this point
Tell me, if he were real would he be happy with you thinking like this?

shikatanaishi. if he was real i'd dedicate myself to being the best wife possible. i can already cook really well and know a lot of useful things. but what can i do?
iktf
>>Do you live in a place that has low/no sunlight?
sun is bad for your skin. bihaku.
>>Does your job require you to be up late?
no
>>How often do you masturbate? With porn? What kind?
daily, vanilla or fantasies with husbando
>>What is your BMI?
~19
>>Do you have debt, credit/loans?
tons, 99 of my problems are money problems
>>Do you have friends/family you can talk to?
no
>>How often do you socialize?
never
>>Drinking? Smoking? Drugs?
no, i love alcohol but i only drink 2x a month or so

>No but I rarely go outside.
Start taking walks outside. Supplement with vitamin D tablets. One a day to start at about 1000 IU
>No job, no sleep schedule, in bed by 10pm some nights, up until 2pm others, sleep 2-4 hours sometimes, 12-16 others.
All bad, the no job thing is bad, but the erratic sleep schedule is bad for you circadian rhythm. Try and get at least 8 hours of rest, especially if you starting trying to get /fit/.
sciencedaily.com/terms/circadian_rhythm.htm
>Hentai duh
Avoid cuckshit, that will make you more depressed. You start to covet your own defeat and weakness. Avoid depressing music. Life is beautiful.
>no because no college and no obligations since neet
Count your blessings, some people have plenty of debt, no college, and are enslaved to student loans from shitty degrees.
>parents
They won't understand. You need to socialize with people from your generation.
>other than internet friends never
A job or school will fix this, so just start focusing on them and you'll be forced to learn to socialize. Discord trannies don't count.
>Alcoholic, smoker and stoner.
You know these are bad for you. I shouldn't even have to explain it. Working out gives you the absolute greatest high of all time. Try it out at least once, friend.

One step at a time, it'll be okay.

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Lift weights, take a shower, dress better, stop spending all day glued to the screen, get a clue and have sex

If you are a man your homosexual fantasies may be contributing to your depression. Many men now are not necessarily homosexual because of a true love of men but rather an exposure to gay porn from a young age. It's like a drug addiction.

I watched Scooby's videos last summer and actually put on some muscle mass but as usual I fell back into the negative cycle and stopped. Not having an education past HS and no job approaching 30 is getting scary. I don't even know how I would get one since I live far from town and couldn't afford gas to get there. I know getting fit helps but it's just so hard to give enough of a shit to get off my ass and do anything.

Sort of.

It replaced my depression with aggression. So I didn't feel like killing myself anymore.

....but I wanted to kill everyone else.

>if he was real i'd dedicate myself
If he was real he wouldn't take a second glance at you other than for pity. There surely are people like him, try and search for them.
>sun is bad for your skin. bihaku.
Vitamin D isn't though. You need sunlight for all sorts of physiological and psychological things. If you choose to go /no sun/ then at least supplement the essential chemicals.
>no
Good, try and get a fixed sleeping schedule.
>daily, vanilla or fantasies with husbando
The daily thing is too much. The vanilla and fantasies is healthy.
>~19
This is good.
>tons, 99 of my problems are money problems
Do you have a job?
>no
Find some. Discord trannies don't count. Yes, you may have to deal with normies.
>never
You know this is bad.
>no alcohol
You honestly aren't doing too bad. Just focus on the sleep, the job/money, and socialize outside more.

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Is this a tkmiz thread?

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>>my husbando will never be real so what's the point? I live just to read/watch more of his material at this point
I get that feel too, but in my case he's one of the biggest reasons I haven't, because I don't believe in an afterlife, so I know that if I die, I won't get to see him anymore. The only place I can see him is here.

>Do you live in a place that has low/no sunlight?
No, and I walk in the sun to and from work at least an hour every day, and I garden.
>Does your job require you to be up late?
No, but I am often up late because if I'm not then I don't have any time to myself. I sacrifice some sleep to have free time during the week.
>How often do you masturbate? With porn? What kind?
Couple times a week, with porn about half the time, dominance stuff just in general.
>What is your BMI?
Regular, I'm not super fit or overweight.
>Do you have debt, credit/loans?
No.
>Do you have friends/family you can talk to?
I have some close friends that I talk to sometimes, but I wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't just dismiss suicide out of hand like it's not an option. I haven't really gotten into it with anyone I know in person because I don't want them to start watching me in case I decide to do something. I've always known that if I decide to kill myself, I'm not warning anyone first so they can stop me.
>How often do you socialize?
I talk to my close online friends every day and I live with someone who used to be my closest friend. That last part is probably at least some of it, I take care of someone who can't work for medical reasons, and I am 90% sure via overheard conversations that he now hates me, but can't say anything about it because I support him.
>Drinking? Smoking? Drugs?
None.

5-6 hours on days that I work and 8-9 on weekends. I cut sleep on weekdays for more free time. Otherwise I only have about an hour and a half to myself every workday.

>fell back into the negative cycle and stopped
You didn't "fall back into a cycle" you fell out of a good one. Really, something must have happened with your life that made it harder to maintain that schedule.
>Not having an education past HS and no job approaching 30 is getting scary.
It is scary. I'm approaching 30 though and just now found a good job. Don't give up hope. Speak to hiring agencies and temp services. You're still young. You'll know when you are to tired to get fit/workout. You'll be dead.
>hard to give enough of a shit to get off my ass and do anything.
It only gets harder with age. Now is the time.

I'd rather be angry than depressed any day. I have had severe bouts of depression and have always had anger problems. I'd rather be angry than sad, any day, any time. Why are you speaking in the past tense. Did you stop?

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let's see...
>Do you live in a place that has low/no sunlight?
no sunlight at all
>Does your job require you to be up late?
job?
>How often do you masturbate? With porn? What kind?
yes, yes and a lot of kinds
>What is your BMI?
25.2
>Do you have debt, credit/loans?
no
>Do you have friends/family you can talk to?
no, never trust them
>How often do you socialize?
never
>Drinking? Smoking? Drugs?
no, no and some antidepressant pills
anyways, my end is near.

I can't belive someone is reposting my frame, feels nice.
And yes this is probably another tkmiz thread

But that IS depression.
Lack of interest in any part of the future, never wanting to get out of bed, contemplating suicide.
All signs of depression.

I've delt with this a lot myself(still do).
I dread tomorrow many days.
My personal recommendation:
Biking. It's been a huge, non-prescription antidepressant.
It'll never really go away forever, but it becomes much more manageable, to the point where I can find things to be happy/excited about and motivation comes more naturally.
Try biking long distances alone, in nature if possible and on a bike trail if available.
The honesty and simplicity of nature is a refreshing relief from the constant frustrating, complicating, noise and expectations of society and the physical activity and sun exposure release endorphines.
Riding is fast and easy, you can even coast for miles enjoying the breeze while still getting some physical exercise.
You CAN enjoy life user and I hope you do.

FLCL was fun because the creators had fun. No sequels were needed, especially ones only focused on profit.
Dandy was fun for the same reasons.

>like every day your boss tells you to do something and you think, 'or i could kill myself instead' and it starts to literally look like a viable option

I did this sort of demoralizing self talk for a long time, and I eventually broke the cycle by getting medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. You have to feed the right wolf, user.
When you have thoughts like, "or I could just an hero." you have to consciously tell that thought to fuck off, and think about something that you would really enjoy in the future even if it's not likely to actually happen.
The more you fantasize about how nice it would be to be dead, you are more likely you are to kys.

Also FLCL touched me as a young lad, I seriously love that shit.

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Off topic as hell, but I'll allow it

>get circumstances'd out of an apprenticeship
>want to immerse myself in creative hobbies over the summer
>no drive to spend time doing it because it doesn't give my brain immediate satisfaction chemicals
>no idea how to go from the tutorial following stage to the point where I can work on improvement
>logically know these are internal problems, but still intuitively reject that so I can feel like I'm cursed by circumstance
At least I have my long walks while thinking about Beastars
All I've done for the past week is take long walks to think about Beastars and reread Beast Complex

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If I killed myself I would be unable to enjoy the things I like so no.
On the other hand it would be great if you killed yourself.

Alright, thanks for the motivation bro. Can't do much to fix the job situation today but I'm off for a 5 mile walk. That always makes me feel better.

>No, and I walk in the sun to and from work at least an hour every day, and I garden.
This is really, really good. The exposure to nature is good for you. Try and combine this with socializing. If you live somewhere beautiful try and get into hiking/backpacking.
>No, but I am often up late because if I'm not then I don't have any time to myself.
I know this feel. I have done basically the same thing all my life and after awhile it started to actually hurt my heart (literally). Try and keep these nights constrained to only certain parts of the week. Incorporate cheat days (drink, smoke weed, eat junk food) to make these days seem more worth it. I only do nights like this on the weekends now.
>Couple times a week, with porn about half the time, dominance stuff
That's not too bad, just try and avoid defeatist pornography.
>Regular, I'm not super fit or overweight.
>No debt
Count. Your. Blessings. You are young and healthy.
>wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't just dismiss suicide out of hand like it's not an option
>not an option
But it's not. It never is.
>I take care of someone who can't work for medical reasons
Not enough socializing with regular people. Start dedicating multiple days to other people. DO NOT THINK ABOUT THIS PERSON DURING THESE TIMES.
>no smoking, drinking, etc
Good. Keep it that way.

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I won't.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

>creative hobbies
Drawing porn gives your brain immediate satisfaction chemicals.

thats called being an adult

Remember to breath when in nature and good luck.

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30 minutes three times a week is all it takes. Take some of the free time you spend on Yea Forums, anime, or video games, and go for a jog. Then take a cold shower.
It feels amazing.

>You know this is bad.
I already know I'm not living my life correctly. Hard to make positive changes when I vaguely just want to die every day. I am trying to improve things, especially money things, but it takes long term sustained effort and the effects are delayed. Even if I do all that, I might be not-miserable but if I can't be with my husbando will I ever be truly happy?

Stay strong anons, and keep yourself healthy. If you won't do it for yourselves, then at least do it for me. I don't want any of you going before I do.

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>never goes outside
>masturbates daily for a flood of easy dopamine
>plays video games and watches anime during all free time
>constantly refreshes Yea Forums threads to see updates that won't matter
>no social interaction outside strangers in video games
>hasn't read a book in years
>smokes weed constantly to squeeze any enjoyment you can out of things
>"how am I depressed :("

If you quit addictive behaviors that cause easy dopamine release, you'll eventually learn to appreciate things the way you did as a child. It takes time, but nothing worth doing is easy.
t. still recovering from years of daily weed, porn, and video games

I did actually find my thing a little while ago. Writing is the only thing I'm even sortof good at, and I've done it all my life, so some time last year someone I was helping with a script was an asshole to me and I decided I didn't need anyone's permission to write what I wanted to write. So I finally started writing a book, and I think in all my life it's the only thing that's consistently made me feel like I'm alive. That's one of the reasons I haven't killed myself yet, it would be a huge waste of 80,000 words not to finish.
It still doesn't feel worth it sometimes, though. I'll say to myself, 'or I could just kill myself' and then think, 'but then your book won't get published and no one will ever read it' and that stops me for a minute, but then a couple minutes later I think about it again, and I remember how high the chances are that my book is shit and I'm actually just retarded and shit at writing or something and the one thing I had will have actually been worthless the whole time.

>no sunlight at all
Vitamin D for you. 1000 IU's once a day. You'll piss out what you don't need. Get out and get some sun, even if just for a little bit at first.
>job?
Yes. They are useful because they let you have money and make you feel productive if they are the right environment. They can be abusive though, so don't be afraid to bail out if they turn out that way.
>yes, yes and a lot of kinds
Cut back on it, only masturbate to encouraging pornography. No beta/cuck shit.
>25.2
Getting really close to really bad. Start walking and getting that Vitamin D/sun exposure. Two birds with one stone.
>never socialize
You are doing it now while on Yea Forums. It's just a bad environment to learn the hard social skills. Treat it like a video game. Get better and talking to people.
A JOB WILL FORCE THIS TO HAPPEN.
>anti-depressants
You are addicted to these. Stop being addicted to them. The no alcohol and smoking is great news. You are off to a better start than you think.

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Probably, but I don't want traditional art to be the primary skill I develop and reaching the point of "porn" is already a significant amount of learning and work in 3D art
It doesn't help that /3/ is a hell unimaginable to broader Yea Forums

Maybe you should kill yourself.

>like every day your boss tells you to do something and you think, 'or i could kill myself instead' and it starts to literally look like a viable option
suicidal ideation is a pretty major symptom of depression in the medical sense

A lot of this involves socializing. What if I'm an introvert? There's a neighbor that tries to talk to me all the time when I'm gardening, and it just gives me anxiety and tires me out.

>especially money things
They can't take money from you by force. Bide your time for when you can catch up to those bills. They are scary but are only pieces of paper.

>but it takes long term sustained effort and the effects are delayed
The beautiful thing is that the sustained effort and delayed effects are what make them the longest lasting gains you can achieve in life. They are the hardest to get, and yet the hardest to have taken away if you are dedicated. It gets easier the more you do it. You are an animal that requires the right amount of stimulation to remain motivated. Work with yourself, give and take away what the demons in your life want. Don't enslave yourself, you'll just tire yourself out.

>If I work hard this week I'll be a lazy piece of shit on the weekend
This is what I mean. Treat yourself in these ways. Give in to temptation in a controlled manner.

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Cold showers are kinda silly. All it does is raise your heart rate. I'll take advantage of having warm water whenever I need it while society is still relatively intact thank you very much. Because there will come a time soon when we probably won't have access to warm showers and many other comforts.

>>no smoking, drinking, etc
>Good. Keep it that way.
>Incorporate cheat days (drink, smoke weed, eat junk food)
Be consistent avatarfag

God bless you. Before this thread is gone, I want to say that you cheered me up.

Honestly the only reason I haven ended it is because I want to see how some manga end.

>Supplement with vitamin D tablets. One a day to start at about 1000 IU
Note: academic consensus is still mixed on supplementary vitamin D for seasonal affective, and for 100% results get sunlight and sunlight alternatives (SAD lamps, they stop the sads)
You're probably full-on vitD defish and not just the SAD kind anyway though so there's no reason not to take them

I'm only here because I'm a coward. Otherwise I'd eat that shotgun to the chest.

You can write AND get outside though.
I used to write often but fell out of it/lost motivation. I just did poetry mostly.
>80k words
You're doing much, much better than me in that regard
I won't keep pushing it but biking really is a life saver.

Very original post!
But OP clearly has it in them to do things still and has a skill that isn't just shitposting on 4chins.

I can't go for a jog anymore, I live in a bad neighborhood. And transporting myself to a gym via bus would take several extra hours.

>A lot of this involves socializing. What if I'm an introvert?
People will pick up on this almost immediately. Stop trying to hide it and make it a part of your charm. Be unabashedly awkward. The worst turn off for people you'll meet is not being honest. They know you're awkward, but if they are good people they will except your company. The thing about normies that makes them so comforting is that they are kinda stupid, but they enjoy conversation and company. Talk about them and their lives (it's not like yours is that interesting) and they'll feel like wanting to continue talking to you.

Take interest in people. Ask them questions. Even if you don't really care. People are THE MOST interesting parts of life.

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thx for your advice Dr. Saber but:
about the last question: I WAS taking anti-depressants, quit them when I fix one of the many problems I got, but now I'm fixing the last problem in my life; but the "real problem" has no solution and thats a "gg no reee" thx anyways

I like Saber guy, he's giving out good advice. I know because I climbed out of the bottomless pit that is depression with daily suicidal thoughts and most of what he recommends is stuff that I've done.
If I could stress a point though, is don't try to do all of it at once. Start with one thing on the list. Like quit smoking. Do that for a while, see what changes. Then fix the other stufd. One at a time. It's never too late. At 22 I got a bachelors in Comp Sci and Networking security and I fucking hated my job. I sunk for 4 years into catatonic depression. Lots of Yea Forums and bad habits that other anons in this thread have. Now I have moved, got GF, and am starting new studies in micromecchanics at 27.
Hang in there. Where there's life there's hope.

That sounds extremely painful. Why not to the head? Are you a woman? Women tend to shoot themselves in the chest when they an hero.

Sorry, if I wasn't consistent. Those things are habitual, which is secretly a good thing because you can use them to control your negative behaviors by allowing you to bargain with those negative tendencies of yourself.

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If you're in a bad neighborhood then going to the gym is even more of a necessity. Or try to move to a not bad neighborhood.

Yes, I think that’s when it starts to become serious. Like, when you consider things over calmly for years, not in a state of elevated greif, and it seems like a viable option. I know what you mean.

That already IS depression. You are seriously depressed.

Not critically depressed though, there is much room left for your depression. Over completely giving up work and education to the point where you starve to death.

Once we reached this point where we are on, there is no turning back. There won‘t be a magic moment to fix this. The reason is, there is nothing to fix. We see the world as it truly is. You can‘t unsee sightS or unthink thoughts.

Because I want to donate my brain to scientific research.
Women don't tend to shoot themselves at all, compared to other, less-effective methods.

>I WAS taking anti-depressants, quit them when I fix one of the many problems I got
take your goddamn perscriptions
if they aren't working or have troublesome side effects/you don't think you need them any more talk to your doctor

>But OP clearly has it in them to do things still and has a skill that isn't just shitposting on 4chins.
Considering that he made a blog thread with an avatarfag included I don't really think so.
You're on Yea Forums complaining about shit in your real life instead of talking about this shit with someone that's actually close to you that can give you support, or actually doing anything to change your life.
This is also very clearly off-topic, so it's not like we were talking about a show that's sad and the conversation naturally came to this spot, so fuck off.

I agree with upside down satan

>with someone that's actually close to you
lurk more, newfriend :-)

For me, I moved and started over, and everything got a lot worse, and now I have intense regret destroying everything I had and fear of trying to start over again. How do I break out of this?

I used to be so timid because I was afraid of being beaten up all the time but one day something snapped and now I stare people down when they are looking at me. Almost got in a fight with a hobo the other day but defused it by just staring him down with a genuine feeling of wanting him to swing first so I could legally smash his face in. I went from bitch to actually scaring people sometimes even though it's still a front and I don't know how to fight and am still timid inside.

I'm sure that some random person in the world is going to give you more support and help than a family member or friend.

SSRIs prevent suicides in the long run but make your life not worth living by taking all the joy away (not a problem if you didn't have any to begin with) but also all the tension etc.
Anti-psychotics are honestly better

you're a nice user. ganbarrimasu

SSRIs just made me enjoy things even less. Welbutrin is helpful in my experience

I haven't talked to people in real life about it because I don't want them to try and stop me if I decide to do something.
This is the only place I could think of that would give me real advice without societal pressures to try and get me not to kill myself. This is the only place where someone would really honestly tell me what they thought. This is the only place where I could be honest about all of it without fear that it would lose me my ability to make my own choice about it. Talking has helped, it's outlined some of the problems that I should take care of if I want to keep going. Thank you.

I said stop being addicted, not stop taking them all together. I'm not a doctor, just a guy who is happy and wants others to be happy. You should consult licensed doctors on stopping or taking up any psychological health issues. Those pills won't solve the problems, they only ease the pain.

It is better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both.

>one at a time
Thank you for clarifying. Yes, that is extremely important. I say try and take it week by week.

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...you right, maybe talking to my terapist would bring some peace at my mind, thx Dr. Trips,

You're so ignorant that I think you have the capabilities to become an hero. Do it faggot, I believe in you.

The people here won't be honest about shit because we don't know who YOU are. The people in your life will tell you not to kill yourself because they know you (or the outermost part of you) well enough to know your worth living. Any anonymous can tell you to kill yourself.
Putting yourself out there with future pain is better than shutting out and feeling nothing.

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That's the default state for any reasonable person. That's why entertainment is so huge in modern society. Even normalfags are not dim enough to be fooled by it for long though.

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Stop already faggot, you give shit pseudoadvice to a bunch of sissy teens to make yourself feel better. It's one of the most disgusting things I've seen in my life. Just report and move on. If one of these crybabies really kills himself, the world will just get rid of one more idiot subhuman.

I got sick of hearing unhinged friends on Discord tell me they want to kill themselves. I don't think many people understand that's actually very hard on someone who actually cares about you. So now anytime they do it I tell them to give me their cellphone so I can call the suicide hotline. I tell them I'm not a professional but care enough to get one for them. Turns out they never want that and just wanted someone to whine to.

No, you misunderstand, I'm not shy about talking to people, I work in a very social job and I'm pretty good at talking to people at this point. But I don't like doing it, it exhausts me. I don't think more social interaction is going to do anything other than stress me out.

I want to summarize a few things on socializing before I go:
1. Ask people about their lives. They love to talk about themselves.
2. Learn their names and remember them immediately. Write them down somewhere so you can remember if this is hard.
3. Use those names frequently when talking to them. People love the sound of their own name and you'll enforce a positive chemical response to your voice.
4. Eye contact is important but hard to do, so don't try and force it. It helps to not think about it.
5. Good hygiene.
6. If you are awkward, try and embrace it, you aren't going to be able to hide that fact. If you are awkward they will know.

Please fight on. You deserve to be happy.

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oof

See that's another reason why I don't bring it up, I don't want to be that guy.

I almost lost my closest friend because I was using her as mental support too much and she got exhausted. I had to pull back for a couple years and stop talking about any of my problems for our relationship to recover, and now I can talk to her if I really need to, but I know how close I got to just overburdening her.

Depends on who you're talking to. I get mentally exhausted from talking to dummies who are on the pop culture mentality. As in quoting movies and talking about celebrities, pop music, t.v. shows is about as deep a conversation you can have with them. You have to pretend to be a normalfag yourself which takes effort. There are times when someone says something so stupid to me that my brain just sort of freezes because I want to end the conversation because they sound so dumb then I have to quickly cobble together something not insulting to say.

Then cut back on socializing with people you don't like. But this disposition of yours doesn't indicate a healthy mindset.

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It's hard to talk to people when you have low self esteem even when it's someone you like because the whole time you're just thinking how you have nothing interesting to say because you're a loser who does nothing important.
>hey good to see you again man, oh you're a dad now and run your own business that's awesome
>yeah man how about you, what have you been up to since school
>[LOUD SWEATING]

My problem is that I managed to pick all friends who are smarter than me and every time I say something stupid I just feel like I'm too stupid to live and should probably die to remove myself from the gene pool.

Haha, that sounds like a joke but it isn't. I feel like everybody secretly or not so secretly thinks stupid people should die. What do you do when you realize that you're probably one of them?

literally introversion

haha no why would I ever get sad when we live in the most wealthy society ever haha I even have an Iphone what more could I ask for?

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I think wanting to die and deciding to kill yourself are very different steps. Like, for example, there was a possibility I could have had a bloodclot, and a doctor told me to go to the ER to get it checked out, but I just decided not to go because I didn’t care if I died.

But, if I had to do something that would sabotage my ability to live normally, like calling a professional, I would hesitate. That’s because if I did that, then that would be accepting that I could no longer go back to normal if I changed my mind. I’d be completely committed to either this person helping me or killing myself. And it’s not a decision that is easy to commit to. You saying they don’t want to die and just want to whine just means you don’t understand what they’re going through mentally.

I'm going to hit you with a harsh reality. You were being selfish by using her as an emotional punching bag. Nobody likes that kind of relationship, even if they care everyone has a limit and will eventually just want to get away from you. Even worse is if you hold them hostage by saying you will kill yourself if they leave or don't listen. If you genuinely want to kill yourself and want help then you need to see a specialist. Other wise you're just in a rut and would rather complain than make changes. Start replacing bad habits that make you want to kill yourself with healthy positive ones. Unless you have killed someone drunk driving or are a sex offender or something, then you have a clean slate and can start fresh as long as you change your perspective on life.
Who has a reason to kill themselves? Those of us who are sitting around spinning our wheels or people like pic related?

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teen thread

>you don’t understand what they’re going through mentally
I give up after trying to talk to them about it and hearing the same problem that they don't want to fix every time.
>I'm sad because I'm fat
So lose weight
>continues to eat like shit and get fatter

>t. still recovering from years of daily weed, porn, and video games

Even though i've been recovering on/off for longer periods as well, this is what i keep returning to.
If i do literally ANYTHING else, it's maybe interesting or fun for the first few times or months but i always give up, i've given up like 15 different hobbies without really wanting to do them again.
It seems those short bursts of dopamine feel crucial so i don't lose my fucking mind.
Like morphine to tame the inner beast.

>You were being selfish by using her as an emotional punching bag.
Oh buddy I know, I completely feel you, that's why I stopped. I'm glad she told me before it got too bad.

>Even worse is if you hold them hostage by saying you will kill yourself if they leave or don't listen.
I never did that, I've known some people who did it to me. I never mention suicide to people who know me in person unless it's framed as a joke.

>Who has a reason to kill themselves? Those of us who are sitting around spinning our wheels or people like pic related?
I don't really think anyone needs a clear reason to kill themselves. That's just not how the human mind works, or how life works. Some people will kill themselves for no reason that they can explain at all.

I've always thought that suicide is a personal choice that no one should be able to take away from you. It is the last, most intimate choice we have, and the only person's opinion about it that really matters is your own. No one should have to live if they really, really don't want to. Forcing them to do so seems really selfish to me.