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>user , the Elf
A Fantasy Novel
by roberto
In a bungalow there lived an enchanted, ill-meaning elf named user . Not a sticky tender, solid bungalow, filled with spells and a wicked smell, nor yet a sensational, frozen, derelict bungalow with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was an elf-bungalow, and that means happiness.
One day, after a troubling visit from the fairy fag , user leaves his bungalow and sets out in search of three curvaceous bananas. A quest undertaken in the company of wizards, elves and skinny men.
In the search for the fairy-guarded bananas, user surprises even himself with his intelligence and skill as a computer programmer.
During his travels, user rescues a torch, an heirloom belonging to fag. But when fag refuses to try talking, their friendship is over.
However, fag is wounded at the Battle of Blenheim and the two reconcile just before user engages in some serious talking.
user accepts one of the three curvaceous bananas and returns home to his bungalow a very wealthy elf.
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Auto Praise for user , the Elf
"A search for three curvaceous bananas was always going to be compelling. The addition of wizards, elves and men just makes it even more awesome."
- The Daily Tale
"OMG! It's like Lord of the Rings with added elves."
- One of the Kidz
"About as enjoyable as eating my own toes. I wish fag had kept refusing to do any talking. The whole thing would have been a lot shorter."
- Enid Kibbler
"I love fag. I would have liked to see more of her."
- Hit the Spoof
"I prefer the real Tolkien."
- Zob Gloop
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