How are you holding up, Yea Forums?

anti-depressant resistances go up the longer you've been using.
They make being in public easier, but they kill your motivation and you end up stagnating, but with less manic depression.

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Good luck user. Having the disposable income to enjoy life a little more is nice. Chilling out and watching anime is great but there is more to life than that.

>just worked from 2am to 6pm

I feel about this
youtube.com/watch?v=DMonlRsJ5hY

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I was warned in multiple mediums but I'm still self destructing

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i agree user. my mom's the reason i got on antidepressants during my teen years, and i just kind of went with the flow.. i resent her for it to this day, but at the end of the day she's my mom and only wanted what she thought was best for me. shitty situation.

to let everyone catch up on their backlogs, of course!

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im not

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i've been meaning to moving far away from here for years... im starting to think it wont ever happen.

I'm hurt doc, I need medical treatment.

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what do you do?

It's a double-edged blade though. I make a fair money by my country's standards, but I work 14-15 hours a day - at home, thankfully.
So I don't even spend a third of money I make. I literally don't have time for this.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Nice. I hope things go well for you.

Currently contemplating about how I'm about to finish college and didn't make a single friend in the 5 years I spent there.
Oh well, at least it was free.

So far 2019 has unironically been the worst year of my life.

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quit my school today
27 years old with no education past middle school
$10 for rest of the month's meals

I just ate two of these with two glasses of milk and I feel like I'm going to fucking have a heart attack if I stop moving my leg up and down at the speed of light.

And I have two Dr. Pepper on the fridge I plan to drink after I take a bath. Send he

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I don't know what you're taking but effexor fucked me up really bad. Did absolutely nothing but coming off of it was a hell I don't wish to re-experience. Was straight up pissed off at everything for like a month and could barely walk because of the brain zaps

Don't worry, it may get worse in 2020, so 2019 won't be a worst year for you in retrospection.

Thinking about suicide an awful lot lately. There's a nice tall bridge nearby.
Maybe I'll watch another anime and see how I'm feeling then.

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I don't know what to say. I work a 37.5 hour work week with the occasional on-call coverage and get a month of vacation time of which I can afford to use all of for international travel. All I do is general maintainence around an office building. How'd you get suckered into that kind of work culture or is that just a standard in your industry?

>Send he
oh fuck oh god

we're all your friends, user

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Presenting/ defending my masters thesis in a few weeks. I just want it to be over. Going to college was the worst mistake of my life. I lost my gf, lost my friends, and just feel hollow as shit and tired lately.
I should've just been a sailor instead

How so lad?

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never graduated high school and have an extremely bad case of depression that stops me from studying for a ged

But, honestly, it's not like we REALLY need working dicks for something, right?

Factory. Liquid blending, logistics, and lab tests. $19/hr

Sounds fancier than it is. I'm a high school dropout. Learned on the job, lucky to get it.
Started with the production line, which you don't want to do for too long. The upside of factories hiring a bunch of immigrants that don't speak English to do the grunt work is that you are the first in line for promotions if you have a good attitude.

with a rope around my neck

2018 was rock bottom for me, 2019 has been bad but comparatively much better. Fucked my life up pretty good. Sometimes I wonder if anime messed my judgement up a little bit. I'm really good at making bad decisions. I have nobody to blame but myself, truly. Jail isn't not a good place for an anxious weeaboo

I chose it myself to get rid of the free time I'd use for brooding and self-chastising.

Not him but I can't not take xanax. I tried, and it went horribly.

I'm fine but my finances aren't.

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>blogposting thread
Same, the only friend I've made is transferring out and I've barely seen them since sophomore year. I'm so conflicted about working in the future and my anxiety is just amplified in school. At least its almost over,until masters ;_;
2018 was for me. A lot of bad shit happened for me and it went by so fast it surprises me that its already April of 2019.

incredibly well because i am not mentally ill

I have considered going to prison multiple times because the orderly life would probably keep me less depressed. Of course prisons here aren't animalistic hellholes so it's a viable option. Just have to figure out a crime that doesn't harm anybody or traumatize them for life yet is severe enough to get me a prison sentence for at least a year. Then I'll have a trump card to use when (not if) I lose my apartment.

same but my bridge is like 20 minutes away I'd have to drive there just to jump off

Benzos are a tool that should only be used when you're in a psychotic state or having an absolute nervous breakdown. Taking them daily is setting yourself up for a really bad time.

I'm not sure whether things get worse every day or whether everything's the same.

45 i mean fuck. you also can't bike on it and i don't think you're allowed to walk on it.

have you ever heard of quantum immortality
if there is a single possibility of you surviving your suicide then it becomes a 100% of chance of you not dying for you alone
you will most likely die for other people but you, as the observer of your reality, will live to experience the miracle of failing to kill yourself
if your suicide method is so effective you have 0% chances of dying then you won't do it, again, you will kill yourself in the different possibilities for the others but you, as the observer, will never be able to kill yourself if that suicide were to end your life in every single possible future as the choice of not killing yourself becomes that 100% chance of not dying

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are you talking about Yea Forums?

That's honestly the biggest cause of depression for most people here.

My fitness goals are going good. I'm going to buy my first figure when I get to my 200lbs bench press. Also about to graduate college and currently job hunting. For some reason I'm not that worried. Been pretty happy lately. Hope you bros are doing good too

Pic related is waifu and future figure

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This, I already finished Made in Abyss (it was a fucking ride) and I'm already looking for some more anime from previous seasons

What type of shows do you watch? Genuinely curious.

getting drunk and watching little girl anime
feels good

Just been really anxious lately, gonna be going to college soon but I'm really scared because I'm such an autist and I have no social skills. Don't know if I can survive it

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Everybody there was actually pretty nice. Didn't stop it from being the most bleak depressing place I've ever been in my life

Happy for you, genuinely. Protect that life because things can change so quickly

Half of this thread looks like college/work normalfags. Any truNEETs left on Yea Forums?

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Talkin' 'bout everythin'.

>>blogposting thread
nah, let's talk about NHK

Severe tinnitus, (4 - 5 fucking sounds all playing at once in my ears) Visual Snow and TMJ. No cure for any of them.
I gave up a long time ago and don't know how I'm still going.

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Go watch/rewatch NHK if you don't understand why so many faggots around here are having to study and/or work.

This years marks the first semester that going over the 4.5 years plan and I've been missing classes for a month now. Fuck me.

I don't want to go back to retail.

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Never underestimate the pleasure jacking off can give. I say this as a 40 year old married man.

I've been incredibly sick the last year and they can't figure out what's wrong with me. I've come to terms that I'm probably going to die because doctors are literally retarded and bad at their jobs. I'm still thankful for everything good I have in my life and I no longer fear death.

It's been a wild ride for me and I hope all of you youngsters find some meaning in your lives. This world is a playground. The meaning of life is enjoying yourself and, more importantly, making the world more enjoyable for others. Work, dating, 2.3 kids and a dog, traveling like a rich boomer in early retirement - you need none of this to be happy. You make YOURSELF happy and you make your own meaning in life.

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Take solace in knowing that if you fuck up it basically gets way worse since it gets way harder to maintain relationships after school.

Wait till 3am.

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Nah, my finances are fine but I'm a 5'8" 31 years old balding skinny-fat virgin with gynekomastia and phymosis.
It's like a royal flash of fuck-yous from the fate.

>visual snow
What's it like to see the simulation code?

>smoking makes me calm
>but also gives me cancer
do you guys know this feel?

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I just finished reading Self(whats translated at least) so I identify with that first sentence. I've awakened myself to the power of self love

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My fucked up diet makes my stomach ache and keeps me in the toilet 24/7. I could change my died, but fuck that.

I was NEET for five years after high school. Even after you get a job the mindset stays with you. I've been employed for two years now but each morning when I wake up I'm met with a sense of strong disbelief. I want to go back sometimes but I can't because I know it would be the death of me.

Kinda too late for that. If I don't take xanax, I get headaches and sometimes wake up vomiting.

>smoking makes me calm
>but also gives me cancer
I'd say in the end it will make you absolutely calm haha

I felt like that too, after graduating I couldn't even look at my notes anymore, I felt sick and anxious.

I'm currently an insomniac but for some reason I havent felt this happy in a while. Maybe it's just my internal clock fucked up

Yeah that's mostly the reason why I'm getting so anxious about it. I didn't make a single friend in high school and I know college will be one of my last chances to build good relationships with people.

five years going strong the days are long

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get addicted to coffee instead

Weird. But it's not as annoying as the Tinnitus or TMJ. I was born with it but it eventually got more noticeable in 2017. It actually fucks with my night vision for some reason and makes everything harder to see.

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Kinda scared DESU. The last few years have been getting worse. I don't enjoy my old hobbies anymore. Don't have anything to look forward to. All I do is work, lift a few times a week, watch animu/read manga, try to play some video games (they are all shit) and sleep.

Yeah but if you were a sailor you would have to deal with semen jokes

>grandpa was diagnosed with congestive heart failure last fall
>in and out of hospice and hospital care until he passed away in January
>one of my old aunts also died unexpectedly during the same week
>this was all a few days before I went back to college to start the spring semester
>failing one of my classes that I need to pass in order to graduate next month
>feeling overwhelmed with my jobs, schoolwork and having to go to student government stuff for my department

I just have a lot of self doubt for what direction my life is heading into. I know it’s wrong to judge myself against others but I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere in my life, and it doesn’t help that I’m turning 27 next week.

?

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C R E A T E
A R T

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I actually don't, everytime I solve 1 problem I get 2 new, everytime I achieve something I lost 2 more, when I do the tings right everything just goes wrong, when I do the things wrogn everything just goes wrong, when I do nothing everything just goes wrong, when I do something everythingjust goes wrong, nevertheless i'm still here, not sure why, point is, there isn't really a point.

Honestly deep inside I kind of knew that I'd just end up taking some garbage low end job and rot there forever. At least this one enables me to take some naps and post during my working hours, but it doesn't change that I still hate it.

I got promoted. It took almost 2 years.
PSA: don't fall for the contractor meme. Employers only do this to game the system and milk the shit out of you. It also makes you feel like shit when surrounded by full time employees.

>Visual snow, tinnitus, TMJ
>No cure for any of them
Replace TMJ with 'the shakes' and I'm you..
I know the struggle. I'm still holding out hoping there might be something out there which will even slightly alleviate the suffering. I can't function like this, and it's only going to get worse as I age. Please fucking help me.

Like shit obviously, can't blame any one but me which makes me wanna go an hero but too much of a pussy to do it so here I am, sleeping most of the time, when not watching some anime or playing some mmo.

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Your college relationships don't matter at all. They really don't. Other than my wife who I met in college I don't keep in touch with a soul from my college years. We still have plenty of friends through hobbies and of course our anonymous friends online.

The only thing that gets harder is finding love post-college if you are average or below average in looks/career.

Try cbd oil

heh heehehehe *snorts*
clean your room, bucko
haha

Worst year of your life, so far

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I suppose I'm your direct opposite. I was gifted with many advantages(supposedly good looking, smart, and thin) but cursed with asocial behavior, low motivation, restless and overly critical mind, and anxiety. Nothing hurts more than thinking you're wasted potential.

Your youtube diarrhea is not "art"

Practice regret minimization, and use that to determine your actions rather than your fears.

Stop smoking cigarettes and start smoking weed! The feeling is much better, and you can use a bong if you're scared of lung cancer (which doesn't really happen with weed anyways).

I keep thinking about my ex and all her red flags and how good the sex was. How things could have been if I kept her around for another few months before breaking up.

I fucked up

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>Kinda scared

I know this feel. I don't know why but life as an adult is kind of terrifying. Its a sense of dread that has been getting worse every year. Nothing feels right

>body needs vitamin d
>sunlight exposure creates vitamin d
>also creates skin cancer

>graduated from college in late 2016
>2019 and I still couldn't get a job
I'm also trying to get a cushy government job but no luck so far. Sometimes I feel so defeated.

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It's true. There's usually some blogposting NEET thread up at around 3/4am EST, I'm not a NEET but I've witnessed many a threads like that.

>regret minimazation
Haven't heard of that before but I'll look into it, thanks user.

I find solace in picrelated.
Soon we will become a majority.

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Your waifu is waiting on the other side user.

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I'm going to feed my dogs. Wish me luck, Yea Forums!

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Still waiting for my life to begin here. That's what I do.

Well, in my position one has nothing to do but make money and not spend them because one never learned how to enjoy life.

I see a lot of people like this. Unless your potential was of such a scale that you would've invented something amazing or cured some disease you would've been meaningless to the universe as a whole even operating at 100% capacity. If you DO think that please consider that you may be a closet narcissist.

There's no point in having regrets in life. There is nothing you can "miss out" on in life unless your dick gets chopped off while you're a virgin or something.

>got a degree in a field I no longer like
>criminal justice but now like computers

Maybe it's for the best. Tech seems competattive

arent you like 30?

That's rough lad. I hope it starts getting better for you soon. Hopefully you can pass that class and be done with college too. We will both make it bro, we both will

I hate this, if hell and heaven exist, I'm going to hell, if resurrection exist, I'm coming back as a cockroach or something living in africa, if nothing exist, I'll just go to an eternal dark room, really out of options here.

God i hate girls but at least im not dead

Me
I was a NEET for SEVEN years starting at 15yr. Had fun at first then massive shame. My problems aren't all magically solved now, but after I stopped being a cancer on my mom, and moving out recently, I can at least rest easy that she is proud of me for finally getting my life on track.

>gave my mom 40k over the past few years
Yeah she's hot and wore see through nightwear.

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Thanks dubs Satan

Satanic luck for that user.

I just realized that I am on this board since 2010.
What the fuck have I done with my life.

>He doesn't live out his dream in the Japanese countryside
I shiggy diggy.

rethinktokyo.com/free-houses-japan-countryside

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If i get diagnosed with Shizcho or other mental illness i will literally jump in my closest train station, i had already enough to be dealing with something like that.

>working for the government
for shame user!

>he thinks the universe gives a shit about some random sack of aware meat ending its biological function

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That's only for japanese people.

the last option is obviously the better of the three, but... just what if the first one is correct and I do go to hell?

You are small time. I found out about Yea Forums in 2008 in middle school

I'm slowly following his footsteps.
>suicide cult arc when?

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>This would equal paying a JPY 8.4 million (approx. USD 74,000)
my god the Yen is absolutely worthless

Since 2007 when I was 12 years old here. I am entirely convinced that is the moment where everything went wrong.

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If i could, i would destroy the world.

I suppose so, but I don't want to have died with out achieving anything at all. Maybe some day it will hit me and I'll pull myself out of the traps I fall into.

I have a decent jerrrrrrrbbbb, own a house and drive a luxury car, but my room still look like op's and haven't date for so long might as well consider a reborn wizard.

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public servants have it easy, they just drink coffee all day long

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i know that feel user. I want off this SSRI shit but I don't want my mother depressed I'm not taking them.

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The only thing keeping me alive is waiting for classic wow.
Can't believe a game has so much power over my life.

I'm not. After some research, I've finally settled my mind on going with an insulin overdose. If it all goes well, I'll die during coma. But first, gotta solve/organize a few things so I don't leave any loose end for my family to deal with.

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I fucking hate party culture. Every girl I've been seeing romantically the past few years in college wanted to go out to get drunk and dance at frat parties and got confused when I stoped talking to them after that. Fwb are nice but after 3 years of it I feel super empty

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I wonder if there's anyone from the somethingawful crowd (2003) still on Yea Forums.

Same, except I didn't find Yea Forums until later. Yea Forums fucked me up. Its probably fine if you find it as an adult but being here throughout your entire adolescence will definitely turn you into a strange person

I've been here since 2012 for Yea Forums and /mlp/, how has it been 7 years already?

you are supporting the person that wants to take away our lolis

none of you understand the agony of being a transhumanist trapped in a worthless flesh bag and being forced to deal with equally worthless flesh bags every fucking day

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I actually don't mind. I don't even fear death.

Fucking weak. 2005 in the fifth grade.

[ronery] Thread theme:
youtube.com/watch?v=oIscL-Bjsq4

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I tried to hang myself once and I scared myself so bad I don't think I'll ever have the balls to try again. If I kms its gonna be something instant or painless

i wish search engines were better at finding cropped sources

I hate it. My private server clique is splitting up for that abomination.

I'm falling on my neet life again but at least I'm taken care of my mom. In the mean time I look for a better job or maybe learn a skill desu

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>>gave my mom 40k over the past few years
>Yeah she's hot and wore see through nightwear.
bro what
Can i be your step dad

Is it healthy to listen to the same few songs from the 2000s over and over again?

>28 years old, 10+ year NEET still live with my mother
>never had a job or friends
>take like 4-5 tablets a day because everyone says your mentally ill
can it get worse from here?

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spend 4 years in college changing careers and not even passing a single subjet, i thought programming was my thing since everyone who fails at life goes there but shit i can't even do that neither i like it that much really, im completely useless garbage

its named "little sister"

Your mother can always say she hates you.

If you're a virgin then yeah

Pretty great actually. Thanks for asking. The last 18 months have been a dream come true! I'd tell you more, but y'all don't wanna read my blog.

thanks, user.

>can it get worse from here?

Oh yes. You can(and probably will) be forced to get a meaningless shit-tier job.

I'd say thats already a given.

I yield

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Dude, come to the dark side. Keep the insulin to make sure you die, but jump off a bridge (or a parking garage in my case) or something to give everyone a nice middle finger. Not that anyone outside maybe your family will particularly care, but think about how nice it will feel having a vindictive streak as we go out. We've been congenial for far too long, yeah?

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Still living with my parents but got a stable job I enjoy doing, will be moving up in days so I'll have enough to get my own place. I'm still procrastinating hard on my own personal projects though. I'm a much better person now than I was 5 years ago.

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>>gave my mom 40k over the past few years
>Yeah she's hot and wore see through nightwear.
This makes me think things.

sad thread

youtube.com/watch?v=Eht8_rhVMOs

So...

the thing that helps me is to start something and actually finish it, you start whit something small, something that you can handle, but then th itch that comes from knowing that you can do something alittle bit diferent each time is what is keeps you going

I mean, im a graphic designer and i love drawing and comics and i never started one, and people like that cris chan did it, and then you think that its a shitty thing to do

and then one punch man pops up on the internet

so who knows, just give it a try

I guess Murica culture party is really fucked up.
Btw i'm also like you, i can't stand chicks who fuck themselves in parties, i can't stand parties.
I only tolerate hanging out at night with friends or something like that, wich i do like twice a year.

1st day on Yea Forums?

is your mommy a prostitute?

Do you have any advice for the rest of us?

OOF
I'll take your virginity user

My semester ends in April and I still haven't found a jerb. Oh I hate this. I'm graduating next year too. I love being a student and I hate to see it all end. I might not cut it for a Master's and if that's the case then I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm majoring in PoliSci by the way. Laugh all you want STEMfags, but at least I'm doing something I love for this short while.

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