Think of a Servant for each of the seven main Classes

>Won't that make them a target?
You honestly think anyone would wnt to discuss and spread the word of my extremely embarassing explanation?
If they believed me, and ask further, I'd tell him to hut for his sfety but whatever. They'll laugh and move on, fine by me

Servants are not sextoys!

>They might find that answer hostile.
They can be as hostile as they want. Last I checked I was the guy with 7 servants. I am a one man Holy Grail War, I don't have to explain shit.

>provide couch
>provide plentiful wine
>spend the grail war sitting around discussing politics and philosophy
>fight whatever retard thinks it's a good idea to come looking for a fight
>go back to couch
The comfiest grail war, it'd be like arguing politics on /pol/ for a week with someone who knows all about ancient blood cults and shady elite dealings instead of MAGAtards and other Reddit scum.

This is the most optimistic approach to Gilgamesh I have ever seen.
If it was as easy as a nice, comfy couch, some wine, some political discourse and the occasional fight then it wouldn't be Gilgamesh.
What is more likely to happen is that Gilgamesh tells you your couch and wine are shit, your opinions are shit and that the best fighting you'll get out of him is a mild usage of GoB.

He's a cool guy, surely I can reach an understanding.

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>He lost the bet.

grandorder.wiki/Special:RandomInCategory/Servants

Here, now answer OP's question but having to explain to your family and friends why you hang out with this servant all the time

Gilgamesh' philosophy is all about unhealthy hedonism, narcisim, and being a complete burden to society. Nigga claims to be a great ruler when he earned nothing for his people

Worst part is he is so used to leisure and pleasure, death terrifies him. Cn you trust a captain who has no honor to go down with his ship?

I'm a /his/fag and I would enjoy learning ancient culture but Alexander exists as a down to Earth leader. Buddha for spiritual enlightenment, and Medea for learning more about the workings of magic

Anything but a useless demigod

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Bro he was just fooling around, he got better as a ruler

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It all depends on how much he likes you. He can be the easiest servant or the hardest to get on your side depending on your personality, but on the other hand he doesn't really require anything but that.
>tells you your couch and wine are shit, your opinions are shit
Well yes I did say it would be like arguing politics on /pol/.

Name a territory he conquered, advancement he funded, or political corruption he purged.

Nah, let's fuck all my people's wives and cry like a bitch once I realize my mortality

I don't think he would like people who's opinions he thinks are shit. He killed Tokiomi for less.
I still think your self-evaluation on how Gilgamesh would work is still a tad unfounded.

>Gilgamesh' philosophy is all about unhealthy hedonism, narcisim, and being a complete burden to society. Nigga claims to be a great ruler when he earned nothing for his people
Quite sure that's just him riding the tiger in modern times, he does that outwardly but in literally every single Fate entry (except for the VN where he isn't really a character at all) he has way more behind it, he just doesn't really bring it out because most people around him aren't worth it. Literally Evola's notion of riding the tiger, but obviously the desire for more is still there.
If we're talking about historical Gilgamesh, we don't even know if he really existed, what he looked like, or what he did outside of what the epic tells us. Going by the epic, he gave up on immortality and matured after losing the herb.
>He killed Tokiomi for less.
He killed Tokiomi because Tokiomi offended him greatly as a king, was a scheming backstabber, and was going to backstab Gil at the end to power the grail.

"Mom i'm gay and this is my boyfriend"

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Having shit opinions offends Gilgamesh as a King. The only person he actually spared throughout that entire war was Waver for positive reasons and Kirei for negative ones.

Jut give me one instances of Gilgamesh acting as a real leader
Alexander turned a wimp into epic
Arthuria made challenged and hardened Shirou's heroism
Gilgamesh wanted to destroy the world aand build empire with whomever survives

Dumbass, that's a waste of manpower, skilled labor, culture, science, EVERYTHING

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>That might just raise more questions? Like why is the loli lifting?

>assuming jack/santa jalter wouldn't follow the gospel of zyzz

grandorder.wiki/Katsushika_Hokusai

>she's a cool artsy girl I met

>cool artsy girl AND HER OCTOPUS DAD

dude I dated a girl who bred scorpions once

grandorder.wiki/Penthesilea#Divinity B
I met her somewhere?

You are so hopeless, user-kun.

Gilgamesh is anything but. Fucking shitty zero watchers: Gil's a prick that objectively knows better than everyone else, and is nearly singlehandedly responsible for the world being human ruled.

Quality over quantity. Gil's a big supporter of communities founded by individually strong humans. The modern world is a big colony of redudant lifeforms, he almost thinks he's doing them a favour.

Being able to overthrow authority does not make you a leader.
You're just a champion.

Leadership is about being able to command people to your cause, find how to improve them, and make everyone happy.
What did Gilgamesh do to be hailed King? Right, he's just sitting on the works of others.

Precisely why he is not a leader.
Alexander was well loved by the Persians he conquered because he allowed to practice their culture and allowed once pro-Darius officials to remain in position so long as they follow his command

Fuck, the Sultan who conquered Rome despaired upon learning that their Emperor commited suicide by charging his army along with his last men. He never wanted to kill, he just wanted to conquer and force them into vassals

Now, tht's leadership

What possible abnormal situation could lead to one individual commanding seven Servants without causing any enemy to be instantly destroyed?

I'm adult.

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>Leadership is about being able to command people to your cause, find how to improve them, and make everyone happy.

That definition isn't absolute, but that's still exactly what Gil did, though. He foresaw the future of mankind, cleared out the obstacles that would prevent the species from developing (Gods, giants, monsters, etc), and mobilized Uruk so that they could exist without being reliant on the gods. Charisma A+, yo.

Iskander was loved, but in the great scheme of things, his actions are far more irrelevant. Gilgamesh's actions have species defining consequences, while Iskander's are mostly an affair of personal philosophy and his own glory. Gil ends up basically -leading- mankind as a whole.

This. In Nasuverse Babylonia and Egypt are two pillars of humanity. Erasing one of them would make all history collapse.

I shouldn't have to explain to my friends why my pirate waifu and trap waifu call me master. They know

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>Jut give me one instances of Gilgamesh acting as a real leader
FGO Babylonia, Fate/Extra CCC, Fate/Strange Fake

>grandorder.wiki/Hassan_of_the_Hundred_Personas
I just say it's a random friend they've never met since she'll probably take a new appearance each time.

>berserker
Im doing charity work by spending time with special needs

>Richard I
He can play it off as being a musician
>Enkidu
Easily "disguised" as a hippie
>Gilgamesh
Rich kid
>Astolfo
I mean, crossdressing is all the rage, not a problem
>Scathach-Skadi
Sexy older lady, not a big issue
>Fuuma Kotarou
Might be a bit edgy but I'm sure he can accilmate
>Vlad III
Just a dapper older man, probably just buy him a plane ticket to Romania

I'd basically be an otome protagonist except most of them would probably despise me and the personalities involved would turn it into a disaster. Still, my mom would know what's up because she's read F/SN and is a semi-weeb

Does your mom read milf/shota doujins as well?

I wouldn't know, never came up

>Bedivere, Romulus, EMIYA, Boudica, Da Vinci, EMIYA (Kerry), and Kiyohime.
I'm gonna slice of life the fuck out of this.

>Name a territory he conquered, advancement he funded, or political corruption he purged.
He who saw everything in the broad-boned earth, and knew what was to be known
Who had experienced what there was, and had become familiar with all things
He, to whom wisdom clung like cloak, and who dwelt together with Existence in Harmony
He knew the secret of things and laid them bare. And told of those times before the Flood
In his city, Uruk, he made the walls, which formed a rampart stretching on
And the temple called Eanna, which was the house of An, the Sky God
And also of Inanna, Goddes of Love and Battle
Look at it even now: where cornice runs on outer wall shining brilliant copper -see,
There is no inner wall; it has no equal. Touch the threshold - ancient. Approach the palace called Eanna.
There lives Inanna, Goddess of Love and Battle. No king since has accomplished such deeds.
Climb that wall, go in Uruk, walk there, I say, walk there.
See the foundation terrace, touch then the masonry - Is not this of burnt brick, And good? I say;
The seven sages laid its foundation. One third is city; One third is orchards; One third is clay pits- Unbuilt-on land of the Inanna Temple search these three parts, find the copper table-box
Open it. Open its secret fastening. Take out the lapis-lazuli tablet. Read aloud from it.
Read how Gilgamesh fared many hardships
Surpassing all kings, great in respect, a lord in his form
He is the hero, He is of Uruk, He, the butting bull
He leads the Way, He, the Foremost, He also marches at the rear, a helper to his brothers
He is the Great Net, protector of his men. He is the furious flood-wave,
Who destroys even stone walls. The offspring of Lugulbanda, Gilgamesh is perfect in strength
The son of the revered Cow, of the woman Rimat-Ninsun. Gilgamesh inspires perfect awe. He opened the mountain passes, he dug the well on the mountain's flank.
He crossed to the far shore, traversed the vast sea to the rising Sun.

He explored the rim, sought life without death. By his strength he reached Ziusudra the Faraway
He who restored living things to their places
Those which the Flood had destroyed
Amidst the teeming peoples,
Who is there to compare with him in kingship?
Who like Gilgamesh can say:
'I am king indeed?'
His name was called Gilgamesh
From the very day of his birth,
He was two-thirds god, one third man,
The Great Goddess Aruru designed him, planned his body, prepared his form
A perfect body the gods gave
For the creation of Gilgamesh
Shamash the Sun gave beauty
Adad the Storm gave courage
And so he surpassed all others.
He was two-thirds god, one third man,
The form of his body no one can match
Eleven cubits high he is, nine spans his chest
As he turns to see the lands all around him.
But he comes to the city of Uruk.
Long was his journey, weary, worn down by his labours
He inscribed upon a stone when he returned
This story.

Out I went, into the world, but there was none better, none whom he, Gilgamesh, could not best...
He is wise, he is handsome, he is firm as a rock...
'Strong as a wild bull is this Gilgamesh
So he was made by Aruru, the godess
None there is who can - not one
None who can survivea him in fighting.

-- Epic of Gilgamesh, Tablet 1

>Kiyohime
I hope you enjoy the married life.

Is Kiyo a good wife?

I shall. There will be much chill and comfy times.

She's the best there is.

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If your loyal, don't lie , and are prepared for a yandere, then yes.

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>the world's first known work of written literature was a powerlevel shitpost
What does it mean?

It means those fuckers that suck Lancelot's dick can get fucked.

Kiyo, while you are posting on Yea Forums Mashu is having a tender moment with Master and making her move!

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Silly user, I'm not Kiyohime, she's just my favourite Servant of all time.

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I'll just tell them she's my older NEET sister or something.

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Liz is under the table

Liz wasn't invited, she doesn't get along with Tamamo.

She is leaning her head on his shoulder, with her hand on his lap!

Tamamo is keeping poor Liz trapped under there

I simply cannot understand what you are speaking of, for I am Kiyohime's Master, not Kiyohime. And I am certainly not with this "Mash" individual at this present time.

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>This is Hitler, he is my friend

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Kiyohime, I am trying to help you.

user if you wish for me to convey a message to my Kiyohime I shall gladly do so, but you must dispense with the nonsense.

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Mom, dad, this is the President of the USA. Like, all of them...and Thomas Edison. Folks are gonna try to kill us, so we gotta lay low for a while. If we survive, we get a magic wish. If not, we’ll, either way, I’ll be free of those student loans. Incidentally, we’re going to need to borrow the toaster, 4 packs of bubblegum, and your new chia pet.

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Imagine bringing home a fucking furry.

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>Gilgamesh wanted to kill 99% of humanity
And he's right. The more humans there are the less we are worth, look at places like China, where people aren't worth a 10 second call for an ambulance. Just compare how people are between the countryside in a community of 500 vs a big city with a million inhabitants. Our IQ is dropping thanks to the booming population, because modern medicine has almost eliminated natural selection, we're something like 15IQ points below the Victorian era average.

The only arguments against this are purely emotional, subjective, and selfish, usually "I don't want to die" or "I don't want my family/friends/dog to die". Forget that and look at it from the perspective of humanity as a hole and tell me we wouldn't be better off selecting away the bottom 99%.

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Why not just use a CS to break her mental pollution?

>grandorder.wiki/Tiamat

Mom, meet Mom

Would that work?

>the only argument is subjective
>being this retarded
good luck having a industrial society with a world population of 1-2 million and get ready for that almost eternal stagnation since a chance for a genius to be born is extremely small and couple it with the amount of people and you get jack shit

>good luck having a industrial society with a world population of 1-2 million
Mass automation is ready and poised to make your life objectively worthless, senpai

>muh industrialized society

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What do they talk about?

How to defeat communism.

>humanity as a hole
You'll be the first to go.
Also, giggidity

Their Masters, cooking, and gossip.

I’ll just have them stay in spirit form all the time

Which of them is the best at cooking?

Emiya, Altera, Nitocris, Carmilla, Nighingale, Cu, Marie

Fuck it, I just tell them that there's an anime convention nearby and the master thing is an injoke

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Tamamo, though Kiyohime is a very close second.

grandorder.wiki/Edmond_Dantès

...I got nothing

He's your edgy chuuni French friend

>borrow the toaster, 4 packs of bubblegum, and your new chia pet
He is Edison not fucking Macgyver

Are any of them actually good at cooking in an absolute sense, though?

Bedi, Ishtar, Karna, Ushi, Nitocris, Carmilla, Raikou

I chill with my bros and sex up my waifus. If people can't understand then they can fuck off, I ain't gotta explain shit

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Ishtar and Carmilla are not wife material

I'll give you Ishtar, I just didn't care to think about archers too hard

Carmilla can be though, she's a loyal servant in the end.

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I dunno which servant is best for stepping on my dick in each respective class?

>Iskandar
G A I N S

Sorry, man but I don't see anything here saying he conquered territory.
Just how powerful he is and stuff.

Shut the fuck up, Gil
No place in history has ever seen so much advancement as the modern time and the population density is much lower than medieval Europe.
Wanting to kill 99% of humanity to rebuild is just your excuse for being unable to lead so much

Anime only.
Mind telling me how he acted as a leader?

>babylonia
He's basically the perfect king, micromanaging Uruk to the tiniest detail and has a grand keikaku to save humanity despite everyone in Uruk, including him, dying
>CCC
You get flashbacks to his epic
>F/SF
Less of a dick, gives good advice to brown loli and acts as a mentor

>CCC Gil
youtu.be/loyGQj6as-o

>>>/alter/

Saber: Profit Mohammad
Archer: David (king of Israel)
Lancer: Longinus
Caster: Moses
Rider: Conquest
Berserker: Samson
Assassin: Ehud

You can't defeat me. I have the power of God AND anime on my side.
They're also valid to be servants because they're all real people that actually existed

Phantom Spirit Fusion!

Longinus is OP with his anti-divinity lance

They most certainly are.

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>David

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I could just have them not call me Master. That's a thing.

>mohammad
He'll start a worldwide muslim uprising and drive the infidels to the sea all over the world. You're fucked.

Nah, he would bomb both Sunni and Shia muslims for not just dividing his faith, but for also keeping on war for 2000 years.
Also, David and Moses are there

Tamamo is a very good cook.

>Mohammad
Mo would be a beserker

>Okita Souji
Yeah I’ve got nothing. Explaining why a scantily dressed brown woman in cosplay is following me around seems impossible. She’s an alter as well so she’s probably glaring all the time too.

She'll die from tuberculosis sooner or later so you don't have to worry that long

He is a messiah figure, he fits the Saver class.
Someone on /fgog/ did a pretty good Servant Profil for him
pastebin.com/vyGNHcRh

>scantily

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Forgot to include the (Alter)
This is scantily by my standards

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>Profit Mohammad
>profit
The state of this board's IQ

Longinus is already an official servant

I know

Tamamo Caster is a good cook?

Yeah, it's one of the most important skills for a housewife and she is aiming to be the perfect one.

>gets his whole family killed by the mages organization
Great plan bro

He has seven servants, surely he can spare one or two for their protection

Who is more objectively evil: the Church or the MA?

>Izo
a hobo that I picked up

Good question. The Mage's association is more passive, but condones pretty awful behaviour.
The church is a bunch of zealots, but most of the people they kill were at least somewhat involved with the supernatural.

I'm gonna say the MA, solely on account that the Church mostly hunts down heretics, which from what we seen kinda deserve it.