Zoomer here, what am I in for?

have sex

i would bother explaining it but you dont actually care, you just say the skit made by louis ck and thought "bro he found a plot hole lmao"

Kek. Deserved dubs.

kino version or directors cut?

One of the greatest movies of all time

>Eric Bana
banana more like
LMAO, what a dumbass name

>you just say the skit made by louis ck and thought "bro he found a plot hole lmao"
>Nobody except Louis Cuck has thought about this
Kill yourself

>Brad Pitt
Hmm, okay
>Eric Bana
Cool
>Orlando Bloom
Kino.

Tits or GTFO.

A movie that somehow manages to seem like shit but good at the same time, very strange experience. If you like ancient greece stuff then go ahead and watch it.

For kino. Watch director's cut.

Garbage writing and acting but the movie looks pretty good. At least it's better than Alexander.

Because dipping him in invincibility juice was something they made up in later versions of the story.

How a honorable man becomes victim of a glory seeking douchebg

It's not an adaptation of the Iliad, so don't expect divine interventions (a good thing IMO).
It's a more realistic retelling of the Trojan War story, with added Realpolitik. And all the better for it.

>the symbol of Apollo in Hector's sword
I only noticed this now.

lmfao what
it's not more realistic at all, it's not realistic in any way

>don't expect divine interventions (a good thing IMO).
I agree but now I think it's at least implied. Like with Achilles cutting head of Apollo's statue-maybe his fate was a divine retribution after all?

Good battle scenes, good look and it gets the historical epic feeling right. But it has some cringe dialogues and laughable acting.

Watch the directors cut and after that watch the directors cut of kingdom of heaven for a similar movie.

The movie has its faults but it shits on all modern movies because you can actually see whats happening in the battles. No spastic cutting every 2s.

You clearly aren't familiar with the Iliad. Begone, pleb.

>legolas
fucking fag and pussy always

>bradpitt
turbo autist and ranging incel

>HECTORRR
based

>His name is Achilles
>His weak spot is his achillesheel

>shits on all modern movies
And there are no niggers in Greek/Troy army, at least I don't remember any.

She was so gorgeous

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just because it doesnt have gods intervening on the battlefield or shooting lightning at eachother doesnt make this movie more realistic.
its still an action movie at its core
this is supposed to be the greek bronze age, yet troy is a huge city with tens of thousands of people and has walls that are 50 feet high.
they all have great armor and weapons that dont dull or break, definitely not appropriate for the time.
and the greeks muster more than a thousand ships with presumably close to a hundred thousand troops. its fantasy

10/10 kino

Read what I wrote. I said it was more realistic than the Iliad, which it objectively is.
Athens was a city of tens of thousands, and literally had huge walls extending right down to Piraeus.
And a thousand ships equates to 50,000 troops.
And why get autistic about "muh weapons not breaking" (lolwut) when you could have cited Priam's wish to put coins on Hector's eyes. Coins literally hadn't been invented yet.
Low-effort b8, 3/10, would not fisk again,

I've read it multiple times you sped, but not only is the iliad a COMPLETE fabrication, down to the characters and interactions, even the timeline is made up. the only part that's real is that there was a troy, we're not even sure the city was destroyed by greeks

which is fine, the significance of the iliad and trojan was has always been cultural rather than historical, as it formed the definitive basis of the greek mythological and imaginative identity, even for non-athenians.

my wider point is that all the "realistic" elements of troy are themselves fake and mostly ahistorical even to the period, and whatever the fuck realpolitik means its depiction of hierarchy is also wrong. it's a fun enough movie (I like the joke it's the iliad if achilles was the director) but it's not a good 'true' reteling of history. it's akin to when people call GoT historically accurate, beyond the surface level not at all

>cool fight scenes
The fight scenes were ultra shit just like the film. It was crap like this that gave us capeshit. No one can throw a punch any more. You have jump up in the air, splay your legs like a mong then punch as you're landing. You have to spin around before you use a weapon. Fucking dumb shit for retards that's one step above Star Wars prequal interpretive dance fighting.

HECTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

women are lazy cunts who can't complete a job

Schlock kino

She disliked based Peter OToole fuck her

Camp kino.

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Troy was at least 800 years prior the classical age of Athens

Achilles fighting style is overdone to show that he is an demi god. The whole movie is about a mythological story and is actually extremely toned down.

kino like that will never be made again

Was it the Bronze Age or wasn't it?

It was a later version of the story, invented likely by the Romans. In the original Iliad there is no mention of the heel or dipping in the Styx for invulnerability, Achilles is just that awesome.

The gods are present, they just have a much lighter touch on the story. Achilles goes to his mother and she tells him the future, for example. Or when Briseis is shouting at Achilles one time about the gods, he rolls his eyes and says he’s met them, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Achilles is the only one who fights like that. Everybody else fights mostly normally. He’s different deliberately. He flows, fluid, the way he fights isn’t how any normal human fights because he isn’t a normal human.

why are lettterboxd users so faggots?

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>It was crap like this that gave us capeshit. No one can throw a punch any more. You have jump up in the air, splay your legs like a mong then punch as you're landing.
>t. user who never saw the movie but tries to inject his capeshit schizo shit anyway
Nah fuck you, the fights were great. Only "jump and do shit" scene was in the very beginning and only to show how Pitteles is just thad good.

Filtered.
>Achilles goes to his mother and she tells him the future
Thought about it as well. She might have been just guessing and/or being deliberately vague like in many prophecy stories.

She was extremely on point for vague.

>”If you stay in Larissa, you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, and you will have sons and daughters, who will have children. And they'll all love you and remember your name. But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be forgotten. If you go to Troy, glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories for thousands of years. The world will remember your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back. For your glory walks hand in hand with your doom.”

Certainly they probably wanted to keep it light from a director/filmmaking perspective rather than make the gods blatant, but to my viewing and reading the divine touches are still there.

Ok, i didn't remember the exact quote.
>but to my viewing and reading the divine touches are still there.
Yes, I didn't notice it before but now I do. I briefly touch on this in my post

Couldn't handle the bants no doubt.

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>Demigod is more like a superhero than a regular person
FUCKIN TRASH MOVIE

Bravo Dolan

Kino, but it doesn't give the greatest story ever told the justice it deserves

The book is better

I’m torn by your post, user. On the one hand I agree that the Iliad is a true, genuine masterpiece. But on the other, I can’t put it above the Odyssey. I also can’t put it below the Odyssey, so I don’t know if I can say either would be the singular greatest.

cool Pitt, crap movie

it's definitely a movie thats less than the sum of its parts. Good cast, good director, good production values, generally well made film, but it still feels kinda flat and meh

Brad dosen't eat in every scene
Shit

I've only seen the theatrical version of Troy which was a 6/10. Is the directors cut THAT much better like Kingdom of Heaven where the DC turns a turd into gold?

>Realpolitik
stop misusing words you learned in history class last week

>not counting both as one story

I think it depends on immersion and relatabiity, but to compare the two is kinda retarded, user.

Homer took a different approach with the Odyssey, focusing on one man, Odysseus, instead of depicting a grand war from multiple sides, but it felt much more personal and real, despite being utterly fantastical compared to the realism of the Iliad.

Homer could write 900 pages about diarrhea and it would still be a masterpiece for all eternity.