How would you fix Paramount's Halo series?

Best I can do is the marine armour from Reach.
Hunters were at their best in 2, armour was nicer and their arms were fuck-off powerful plasma lasers rather than shitty fuel rod cannons.

If I wanted an uppity nigger's opinion, I'd pull my big white cock out your mammy's mouth.

Needed a narrator. Don't play the game but saw the anime, the part where the narrator is giving you a run down on human history how they explored the stars and then met the covenant etc was pretty kino. too late now though

Cancel it's and blacklist everyone who worked on it

this but also have them executed

People still reeling from beowulf cgi nudity, maybe?

>Get a director that has actually been made to play the games.
Blomkamp played the games. But his Halo movie fell apart because shitty Microsoft executives kept trying to force him to make it more like the games.

Was that the preview years back of Halo 3 'Arms Race' where the marines go and target Chief as he's falling from the sky?
That was so fucking good.

Leave the helmet on, cast some nobody stand-in for the body, get Steve Downes to voice it. Nobody was sitting at home thinking"well I was on the fence about watching the halo show, but then I heard my favourite actor Pablo Schreiber was going to be in it so I subscribed to paramount plus right away"

Scrap the rebels arc, or at least nerf it so it takes up less time, and make its characters less fundamentally annoying

Move the "searching for ancient aliens artifacts" storyline to the front and put the "master chief's journey to the centre of feelings" into the background and subtext where it belongs, it feels like the show is only paying any attention whatsoever to the core concept of Halo because they have to add it's like a backdrop to the Spartans' emotional journey, which is dumb

Make Halsey less irredeemable, her character on the show lacks the nuance that makes her even slightly interesting in the main canon. And actually lean less hard on the UNSC are evil angle as a whole, we're fighting an existential war against alien invaders, cut us some slack.

And uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh give me a vanilla shake with that, supersized

>And actually lean less hard on the UNSC are evil angle as a whole
It should be the emphasis. Nobody wants to watch a boring movie about killing aliens. Fighting against space fascism is a more relevant narrative theme.

Except that halo is about playing as space fascism, not fighting against it.

Go suck a niggerdick, we're the good guys in this story along with our military industrial complex, deal with it

at some point in the next 2 seasons i would have some sort of "upgrade" for cortana where she's replaced by a s*xy irl actress. thats it. thats all i would do.

Slap everyone in the writing room and tell them Halo isn't game of thrones. Leave a copy of fall of reach and tell them to adapt that.

lmao. a VHS slur. how lame can you get

>Get him to make Cortana extremely fucking sexy, and never to show Chief's face.
>Make the UNSC marines all mostly white guys and gals, with a number of them being Aussies as with the games

based. fuck anyone that isn't a Caucasian male

You don't even have to change the actress, Halsey is sexy. You just have to make the CGI model less shit. And make it more blue/purple and more see-through, I think you could work that into a thing about Cortana developing beyond her basic human programming and so becoming less human-looking.

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if they wanted a multiethnic team of spartans with no actual halo in their halo show they should have just done reach

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True. Emile was a cool black dude.

>a cool orc

no such thing

>ywn have a doctor femdom mommy who feeds you steroids and turns you into a steroid monster killer

youtube.com/watch?v=KR7Lv8XZtkk

I'm not familiar with women but that looks like raw animal lust in her eyes

full penetration, and here's the twist, we show it all

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Maybe try PUTTING THE ACTUAL HALO IN THE SHOW?

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>fix
it is unfixable at this point, the only thing you can do is full reboot in 5-8 years
>How would you reboot Paramount's Halo series?
Just do this
youtube.com/watch?v=iDCnO5K7fog

>fascism is defending yourself against genocide

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Not even any of this, just don't put a strong women with dyed hair as lead who emasculates cheif on her first appearance ever.

The real problem is the chink side story that has nothing to do with Halo, let's be honest

It will be in the last scene of the last episode of the season for 1 minute. Then we will get season 2 where the chief teams up with the covenant to fight immigration controls and global warming.

There's literally nothing wrong with what he said. Breathe.

>human women are a complex string of DNA

>Kys, chud

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>based. fuck anyone that isn't a Caucasian male
you wanna start with yourself, anglocuck?

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Prolonged close up shots of Cortana rubbing her sweaty feet against each other

Put every stream piggy into a gas chamber

Fighting against space fascism? No one wants to watch that either. What are you a jew from like 6 years ago?

hire tarantino

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>play the games

yes and no.
get someone who has ONLY played Halo 1 through reach. maybe Halo wars.
show him the making off w marty doing a cinematic playthrough. show him Landfall and the Halo 3 trailers and live action videos like the museum ones.

this show is shit, because its what 343 wants halo to be like.

True enough. Bungie-era Halo should be the only canon beyond the old books.

it would be too much

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Hire Neill Blomkamp

youtu.be/SyOAdrxlPVs

I haven't seen the new Halo series yet but how bad is it?

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he's incredible when it comes to visuals, but he would do an even worse job when it comes to the story. If they could hire him just to do the visuals, that would be great.

if you know nothing about halo, it's characters and lore, it's pretty bad. If you're a halo fan and know the lore, it's absolutely horrible.

>Nobody was sitting at home thinking"well I was on the fence about watching the halo show, but then I heard my favourite actor Pablo Schreiber was going to be in it so I subscribed to paramount plus right away"
Literally me. Pablo was hilarious in Orange is the New Black and The Brink, and his performance in American Gods was the only thing that kept me watching, so when I saw he was starring in Halo, I knew I wanted to give it a shot.

Paramount+ shill detected

FEET

All money going into video game adaptations should instead be used to prevent video game adaptations from being made.

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Dumb frogposter.

Why aren't women allowed to be sexy on screen anymore?

based

>Make the UNSC marines all mostly white guys and gals, with a number of them being Aussies as with the games.
what about sgt Johnson

>mostly
As I said, mostly.
Sgt Johnson is black, and that's fine.

Why can’t people render pretty feet?

Literally my wife’s body

Official halo cannon is fucking mess.
It was even back in Bungie era, but now with 343 stuff added on top it's not a cohesive lore.

Pick core elements from 1 and 2, build on them.
Not have a MC or other spartan as main character.
Have Covenant start mysterious and faceless, but introduce more politics and character as times goes by, those politics being major reason behind humanity contious survival. Humans in covanant are great idea if you spin it right.

I'd get rid of most of it desu.
1. Helmet at ALL times. The other spartans too, their race and gender is helmet.
2. Action, action, action. Shoot shit and blow shit up while Cortana does exposition.
3. I'd put it on the Halo.
4. I'd end every season with the Chief sacrificing himself in a way that he couldn't possibly survive and begin every season with him surviving against all odds.