Explain Prometheus to me at a grade seven level

People were created by even bigger people from another planet. Also - remember the first Alien film(kinda)?

youtube.com/watch?v=-x1YuvUQFJ0

It's a poopy.

(I assumed you were a black 7th grader.)

*Man demands fire from the gods

It being a horror movie sort of makes the character's stupid mistakes more acceptable because people are always idiots in horror movies.

White people are made for the big black goo.

humanity gets ahead of itself over and over again, pays the price over and over again

*it be doo doo

degenerate

Black goo does whatever you feel like it should do.I
Seriously, fuck black goo. What utter rubbish.

But man never stole the fire, it was Prometheus (Titan) that stole it and gave it to man.

We were denied kino because Alien fans couldn't stop pestering the director

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Shares some similarities with Journey Into Space. If you want something with a similar concept
archive.org/details/JIS04TheReturnFromMars

Aliens scary, dawg.

firstly his idea for the film reads like a total trash heap of a story, and secondly maybe he shouldn't be such a little bitch and make the story he wants instead of giving up 1/3 in. Maybe people would've been excited for prometheus 2 if the first one wasn't such embarassing garbage

/thread

why are you watching this? you're not old enough user!

jesus was alien

i enjoy that

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If you cash the director paycheck, it's assumed you're going to accept the state of the film instead of passing the buck like a professional.

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Prometheus and Covenant both suck and are a testament to the idiocy that is people valuing horror over genuine good scifi. The original Alien film had a good balance of this: a bunch of likeminded people trying to survive against a seemingly unstoppable creature. Whereas these newer flicks just focus on gore and a bunch of pieces of shit arguing amongst eachother over trifling nonsense. Even the AI was a degenerate

Goo = Bad

Bad Goo = Baylien

Baylien = OH NOOOO

I want to believe.

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I think it had a pretty good balance between original content and working as an Alien prequel, Covenant is when it all went wrong

saying that the human race could be wiped out because the Jews killed Jesus was never going to be get a Disney movie made.

your parent's divorce is only your fault

No it doesn’t

white blonde female company director gets blacked after one-liner from the black captain

you aren't old enough to watch Prometheus bro

Got you OP

youtube.com/watch?v=-x1YuvUQFJ0

Fire... burns man. Woman inherits the earth

Why did he make the elephant alien into a giant guy in a suit?

Big white aliens rule supreme on the galaxy. Order reigns everywhere.
Some big white aliens don't like Order and create Black Goo, a chaotic agent mutating genes ultra fast to create new things (depending on the original genes and the degree of exposure). One extremist Big White Aliens use a tiny amount of Black Goo on him to die, disolve and create new life on Earth. Millions of years later, hello humanity.

Humanity finds in a cave the coordonates of another planet, left by the extremists, to join them. Billionar man send a ship there, hoping for immortality recipe.

Planet is dead, ancient battleground between the extremists and the loyalists Big White Aliens. Black Goo in massive amounts is used as a weapon. Humans finds a loyalist ship and explore it, find Black Goo and infect worms, some of the crew dies.

Later, Asshole Android find the Black Goo fascinating, decide to experiment for unclear reasons (find life extending recipe for creator, become himself a creator, be a secret asshole, you decide) and infect with small dosage some of the crew in different manners.

Meanwhile Billionar man finds a Big White Alien still alive, wakes him up, don't realise it's a loyalist, get killed by said loyalist because he doesn't like mutated mongrels playing around with Black Goo.

Loyalist Big White Alien chase around the last humans, everyone dies but one woman, Big White Alien gets killed by a mutated creation. Asshole android decide to take another ship, the remaining woman and tons of Black Goo and go the Big White Alien homeworld to exterminate them so they cannot stop his creations. He succeed because, lucky for him, time and war apparently made all the Big White Aliens live in a single city with technology back to the Middle Ages and no aerial defenses.

The end.

origin of xenomorphs

>worked as an alien prequel
Not at all. It was fine as its own then unrelated to alien though

Weirdly mean-spirited

professionals act like completely clueless people on their first day at the job: the movie

not a single character's actions make any sense including the space jockey

The engineer in alien is what happens to them after david finds them. The people david destroys in covenant were not engineers, just one of their experiments. When david finally does find them, he captures, tortures and mutilates many of them. He makes them grotesque and no longer beautiful proportions. Then he integrates them with their technology, fusing the body with their suit and their legs with the command console. Quite hellish.

Jesus preached forgiveness and the people who taught him want to kill us all without mercy.

Bedecke deinen Himmel, Zeus,
Mit Wolkendunst
Und übe, dem Knaben gleich,
Der Disteln köpft
An Eichen dich und Bergeshöhen!
Mußt mir meine Erde
Doch lassen stehen
Und meine Hütte die du nicht gebaut,
Und meinen Herd,
Um dessen Glut
Du mich beneidest.
Ich kenne nichts Ärmeres
Unter der Sonn als euch, Götter!
Ihr nähret kümmerlich
Von Opfersteuern
Und Gebetshauch
Eure Majestät
Und darbtet, wären
Nicht Kinder und Bettler
Hoffnungsvolle Toren.
Da ich ein Kind war,
Nicht wußte, wo aus noch ein,
Kehrt ich mein verirrtes Auge
Zur Sonne, als wenn drüber wär
Ein Ohr, zu hören meine Klage,
Ein Herz wie meins,
Sich des Bedrängten zu erbarmen.
Wer half mir
Wider der Titanen Übermut?
Wer rettete vom Tode mich,
von Sklaverei?
Hast du nicht alles selbst vollendet,
Heilig glühend Herz?
Und glühtest jung und gut,
Betrogen, Rettungsdank
Dem Schlafenden da droben?
Ich dich ehren? Wofür?
Hast du die Schmerzen gelindert
Je des Beladenen?
Hast du die Tränen gestillet
Je des Geängsteten?
Hat nicht mich zum Manne geschmiedet
Die allmächtige Zeit
Und das ewige Schicksal,
Meine Herrn und deine?
Wähntest du etwa,
Ich sollte das Leben hassen,
In Wüsten fliehen,
Weil nicht alle Blütenträume reiften?
Hier sitz ich, forme Menschen
Nach meinem Bilde,
Ein Geschlecht das mir gleich sei,
Zu leiden, zu weinen,
Zu genießen und zu freuen sich
Und dein nicht zu achten,
Wie ich!

>not a single character's actions make any sense including the space jockey
This, I re-watched the movie the other day and it's still just as bizarre as it was the first time. Like why did Millburn suddenly decide he wanted to pet the alien snake when before he was shit scared of everything and just wanted to go?

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yes

Android watches Lawrence of Arabia once, develops God complex when he sees 'muh alien overlords', in which the alien overlords in turn say 'fuck it, let's make penisheads and move on with one of our own terraforming a moon (see Alien 1979 for details)'

It's poopypants.

>Android sees he is creation
>His creators are retarded
>He is upset about this
>His creators go to planet to meet his creators
>They find black goo
>Android starts testing it and realizes it can make new life
>Android decides he wants to create a new life form to destroy his creators

How do some ultradvanced space jesuses seeding life on a planet explain the origin of life?

Man thought they were being invited by the gods, though.

My favorite part is when the scientists blow up the head with electricity.

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Well, too many writers were involved and too many producers. Consequently you get a garbled movie.
I liked it

can replicants spawn aliens?

This got way too much focus. It's clearly designed to function as a prybar, which would be helpful on a malfunctioning ship to break a door seal, and the axe part could be designed to smash through lighter metal walls to get at vital conduits that are on fire etc. The axe was never a problem, the rest of the retarded movie was the problem.

Ridley Scott makes a teen slasher movie, except it's retarded scientists instead of retarded teenagers, the killer is the Alien.

this is what happens when companies start hiring empoyee's firend's son's girlfriend's second cousin's child instead of actual competent people

I think we were actually supposed to think that he chilled out and got stupid because he smoked some future spacepot. That would explain the retarded "yo I modded the suit that my life depends on so I could 420blazeit on an alien planet I think is dangerous" scene that was equally ridiculous.

>start
Lmao

Life on earth

yeah imagine how bad its going to be when the employee is a 7th gen nepotism hire

Replicants are just gene-engineered humans with different genes spliced in to make them survive longer while working in toxic air etc while removing any human rights or personalities so that they'll make good slaves. The aliens wouldn't give a shit because there's still an animal throat to jizz in. Tyrell would probably be really interested in getting his hands on the alien dna to make his combat replicants more effective, though.

Yeah you watched cinemasins we get it

Who cares about life on Earth when you've just found out that life didn't originate here? Now what matters is how did the aliens come to be.

no but I paid money to watch the premiere of prometheus in the cinemas
and then I did the same for covenant
the latter disappointed me more because I got no answers only more questions