DON'T SUCK MY COCK DONT SUCK MY COCK

I reuploaded it for u user voca.ro/1m6TFp16PDQ8

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lmao (but also based)

>NO I DO NOT WISH TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE BIOLOGICAL WOMEN!!
>I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR TROONS AND OTHER DISGUSTING TRANNY FREAKS

whatm ovie

Cock Weak

>911 What is your emergency?
>HHHEEEELLPPP TWO YOUNG HOT TIGHT GIRLS TIED ME TO A BED AND ARE HAVING SEX WITH ME!!!!!!!!!
>AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
>ITS HORRIBLE I CANT TAKE IT

Thx based mate

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John Wick
>captcha VAXAH

Knock Knock by Eli Roth (2015)

Apparently the transfers messed up and we need a new edition. Criterion?

The Man They Blew Too Much (1956)

kek

Underrated

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In retrospective, was Keanu's character racist?

The two female rapists are latinx, one from cuba the other from uruguay
Perhaps his dick only lusted for aryan women

Was this flick any good?

>they're raping me and it hurts!

kek

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What if he got stuck in Edge of Tomorrow and every day, he woke up tied to that bed and the girls came in and raped him. Haha, that would be so terrible and miserable, haha

Not sure, I just liked the poster. Reviews look meh but I heard it's good if you want weedkino

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>I'm not trapped in here with you. You're trapped in here with me.

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The only problem is tricking them into thinking you have a wife and kids. But oh lawdy if they knocked on my door by mistake.

kek

>NOOOOO WHAT IF THE NEIGHBOURHOOD FINDS OUT I HAD SEX WITH 2 HOT GIRLS, MY REPUTATION IS AT STAKE

>you'll have to let us ruin your marriage, or else we'll shoot you!
Okay, shoot me then
>what? but
You'll be arrested and charged with murder at the very least and both spend life in prison
>but we'll tell them that you
There's absolutely no evidence of me doing anything wrong and you'll have nothing to pin on me, plus character witnesses will attest that I'm the most mild mannered man who ever lived. They'll book your ass on day 1 and maybe even fry you.
If I were you, I'd put down that gun and walk right the fuck back out the door you came in. Fair?
>o-.. okay, you're right.. we're sorry, we won't do this again... there, the gun's on the floor, we're leaving...
[girls hear a *click* and turn back around]
[Keanu's got the gun pointed at them]
"Now suck my cock"

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this movie sucked

Problem Child 2

lmao

>the cops wont believe two attractive women over a man who lived alone
lol
lmao

He didn't live alone, he had a family that were just away for the weekend

The Shining starring Hugh Jackman

Bros, just imagine the horror of being a husband, having a beautiful family, that family going away for a while, being raped by two "passably" attractive women, and then having to look your wife and kids in the eyes, never being able to disclose this moment of weakness... just terrible amirite? :(

It is perfectly reasonable to believe he'd try to fuck two girls.

>Your honor, my clients were only defending themselves from the sexual perversions of Keanu Reeves and his sick, twisted cock. They did what they had to do
>>Hmm... well, it seems like an open and shut c--
[Keanu Reeves enters the courtroom to the sound of audible gasps]
"You're honor... I'm gay."
[room fills with confused whispers from every direction]
>the girls' lawyer starts panicking and dropping his papers everywhere while struggling to come up with a new defense
>judge turns back to the women
>"that's it. I sentence you both to life inprisonment for the murder of Keanu Reeves"

It's not hard

I love this board so fucking much.

Very nice

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poor keanu

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agreeable

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sometimes I really feel disconnected with this board when people massively quotes and laughs at some joke I dont find funny in the slightest.

imagine being the wife coming home to the dad buried alive and being like yea he's totally the one at fault here

>Ana De Armas has to explain this movie to her father

Are we supposed to give a fuck that you're a miserable, humorless sack of shit?

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>I didn't even know what I was saying!
Which is true. She phonetically recited almost all of her lines through at least War Dogs. In some scenes of Knock Knock its pretty obvious that it goes well beyond an accent and she has literally no idea what she's specifically saying at all.

Damn that's good

Yes...

Nope

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mouths are cesspits of bacteria. You really want that on your penis? Thats how you get a urinary tract infection

What Creams Gay Cum

based frogposter

Heh, already got one faggot

It's boring beyond belief considering the cast.

Lmao

Did she know her tits and asshole were on display for half the film?

kek

Poor miserable bastard

Batman

>N-No Ana De-Armas you can't suck my cock! I'm John Wick!
>N-Nooo you can't jerk me off with your feet while I am tied up and then force me to cum on my own face!