What are some kino films about Body guards?

kek and this.

where ya fae?

Did he have his penis out?

Is it me or does she look a year older every day?

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Dinnae type in Jock at me ye cunt.
I bide in Edinburgh, but am fae England.

its over amber
No his penis wasn't out
No he couldn't break his grip

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is this the new bread?

MOGGED

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She knows she's fucked.

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fuck up ya wae bam, ah didnae gee a fook il com rund yer hoose

edinburghs nice init? i find scots funny but not a massive fan of them either. Least you arn't in glasgow.

This is a thread for discussion about body guard films. With deep lore around megakegs.

Amber sisters... are we going to lose for realsies?

I don't think shes been sleeping all that well

It's tough watching your career burn before your eyes

I SCAN EVERYTHING

she's intentionally hanging her jaw open with her mouth closed to look extra pathetic. like a dog

SCANNING

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It’s all breaking down

I SCANNED EVERYTHIN
absolutely based this scottsman is mogging rottenigger

YOU DIDN'T SCAN HER

It's alright aye, Glasgow got some nice spots but it's not the best.

edinburgh is nae scotland, simple as

nice ""english" "language"" you got there

Oi Vegeta, what does the scanner say?

>AYE, I SCANNED HER. SAW HER SAGGY MINGE STICKING OUT HER SKIRT, I DID. IO SCANNED EVERYTHING.
fucking based

>I SCAN EVERYTHING YE FUCKING PONCE

It's just applying an accent to English lol

these questions are fucking grasping at straws

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it's unironically more related to english than "american english"

NOH

Probably a gang of pikies about the fucking scum.

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>saggy minge
please Yea Forums my sides cannot handle all of these bants

This man scans everything. The Scan-Man.

This lawyer is spilling his spaghetti like mad

>But you didn't scan her body
>No, she was wearing long sleeves as I recall
OHNONONONONON, THIS MOTHERFAUCKER CAN RECALL

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kek based

it's scottish phonetics ye fockin foreskin.

it's got some terrifying estates.

rottenbum's voice keeps cracking lol

objection: lack of foundation

He fears the Scottish Scanner

>piss off oot a here amber a'll scan me fookin fist in'a yer chops

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THE ALMIGHTY SCANNING SCOT, NUHAN ESCAPES HIS VISION. NAE A HAGGIS GOES UNSPOTTED.

Sean Connery from the dead.

Heard is about to shit on this lawyer desk

>you never testified to that in the uk right?
>I wasn't asked in the uk
>right... but you never testified to that in the uk right?
>I wasn't asked
BTFO

underrated, needs more aMica cream.

Is this lawyer not rottenborn?

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Kek

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This guy really a bodyguard? He's like 60 years old

is that /ourguy/? this man is shaping up to be cooler than the butler we NEED scottish scanner memes

That's not Rottenborn

Agent 47 looking rough

>>AYE, I SCANNED HER. SAW HER SAGGY MINGE STICKING OUT HER SKIRT, I DID. IO SCANNED EVERYTHING.
Fucking kek

Kokan

so's putin and he'd fuck your shit up.

strong af witness, rottenborg can't crack this guy

You can tell this guy would be the best bodyguard on the planet

Do people actually have really good memories? I can't remember shit from a few years ago (at least not every fucking specific detail) am I retarded?

this fucking lawyer

Bipolar women are incapable of having that realization. She just thinks everyone is unjustly fucking her.

Half his age and he could kill me just by asking for me to die.

you ever tried to start a fight with a large elderly scottish bodger?

I highly doubt your frail zoomer bones would survive

Rottencunt can't break any witness lmao. Has anyone seen him accomplish anything in support of the defense this entire trial?

He's a Scot, mate.
The average Scot can kick people's arses even when they're 80.
Their culture is literally drinking and roughhousing.

He's only expected to babysit an aging alcoholic

My theory is she's slowly making herself look worse and skipping sleep so that when its her turn to testify she'll look as vulnerable as possible.

what are the chances of rottenburg having a nervous breakdown live on stream?

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Wait he levels depp at 5'9? LOL how's he a bodyguard I thought he'd be huge

Memory is something you can train.
Mine is awful too.

experience is better in this business than being a 20 year old meathead.
this job is all about planning and making decisions within seconds, those things work better with experience.

he’s fucking hilarious and rottenbottom is getting flustered

memory is weird, i can't remember which clients i worked on yesterday but i do remember some random fucking thing that happened to me 7 years ago in detail
i guess it's about the imprint a certain situation leaves on you

You smoke too much weed
This is true
99% possible

>You wouldn't know of Depp is part of the Illuminati, correct?

No, they make statements near to the time that they're allowed to review beforehand.
That's why the cops couldn't remember shit

>all these slimy attempts at manipulation and playing semantics
lawyers truly are scum

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His job is make sure nobody is getting beat up. If he has to fight and protect people he's doing a shit job.

Chill the fuck out, Rottenborn

my memory is absolutely insane and everybody notices it in my personal life, i recall every little detail from all kinds of things from years and years ago.

I'll fookin have you ye wee nounce

you dont fuck with a Bazzer McCallahagn, even an aging one.

yeah it's bullshit how they can say exact days to the digits, they must do some preparations

he would flatten you like a kipper

Born rotten, Rotten to the bone

>Based Butler
>Mr Vape
>Dr Sexy Psychologist
>Mr Scan Everything

Johnny's life is kino.

I remember random details from years ago. One of my earliest memories is me telling a black classmate I don't like blacks in kindergarten.

rottenborn is the lawyer sitting behind amber you maroons, this clown is the guy that objected to his own question

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what an asbolute fooken yoonit

Someone cast it

Increasing every minute

>you wouldn't know if the Loch Ness monster appeared and Amber spent ten minutes fighting it off to save Johnny's life. Correct?

You forgot about based best friend from brooklyn of 40+ years. He needs a nickname too.

And then I drove off.

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digging her look lads

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they try to introduce doubt in the minds of the judge and jurors. But they are just coming off as weak ass cunts.

i can't tell the difference, they both look incredibly onions

Amber should've hired Rotterborn's swedish cousin who's a much better lawyer, mr. Rottenbjorn

Are you me?

>BPD with sleep deprivation
>looking vulnerable
That would be her most retarded play yet.

they're both rottenborn in my mind so it's staying that way lel

btfo again

Amber heard needs another lawyer, scot's chewed him out

More like digging a grave, Jesus Christ look at her.

It's not fucking rotten born the one asking questions now
PAY ATTENTION

wait for the OJ-style Docuseries in 10-20 years.

Scotts are the biggest cucks and thus the biggest pretenders.

I should stop smoking weed, yeah

I can’t understand a fucking word this guy is saying

ITS A FUCKING MASSIVE GLASS WINDOW

Shut up no-fun faggot, all of her lawyers are rotten and were born, therefore they are ALL Rottenborn

you'd be scanned by that man and knocked out in a millisecond

KEKED OUT
OOOOH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Noticed Amber is wearing the messy hair of that sexy doctor from the other day.

more witness kino

That was great
>Did Mr. Depp have his penis out when you arrived !?

*fockin

How does Johnny Depp have so many characters in his life? Almost none of them are boring.

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A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES

Learn English then. I'm an ESL and understood pretty much everything.

>one more witness
Nice I thought it was over for the day

the Wall

>ay i fackin socked dat nigger rite in da gabba i tel ya wot

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LEEEROY JENKINS

ENTER JENKINS

Oh man this guy looks kino already

wise old black man kino incoming?

i want to comfort her

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Starling Jenkins, what a name

A Mega Window???

whose jenkins lads?

Did they let the new guy do this interview?

I suggest picrel for the role of the current witness

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Johnny had a marine as his chauffeur. Impressive.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

OLD BLACK MARINE CHAUFEUR
GOD HIS LIFE IS SO KINO

What a waste of good looks

fuck off cuck.
if you tried to comfort her she would eat your soul.

She will just punch you, take all of your money and poop on your bed if you try.

The Third

god I hope so

UNITED
STATES
MUHREEN

YOU CANNOT UNSEE

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Now now, hold on, this could be one of those rare 'black men' that have made it to older age because they're specifically not niggers.

she will devour your soul

>5pm
>new witness
What’s all this then?

Is that Blind Dog Fulton?

god I want a based nigger bodyguard now lads he and the scott can both star in depps action bodyguard kino a series about protecting depp

we'll call it Protecting Depp

>initiated by her
Uh oh.

OH NO NO NO

Kino attracts kino.

nobody is buying your pretender garbage, scottfag

we getting babysat lads?

He looks like if you take off his glasses, his eyes would be comically small

they had a long break until 2:30 because the judge had something to to
they are going half hour over

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i can save her

>Executive Chauffeur of Insecurity

>the ceepee
Wtf???

It appears so

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Borderline personality not bipolar
There's over lap and they get confused for one another

His thong?

Why not both?

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Mr. Jenkins nooooooooo that girl has a family

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Amber
>Samara Weaving
Artist Friend
>Ron Pearlman
Depp's sister
>Maggie Gyllenhaal
Amber's PA
>Jessica Biel
Deuters (girl who was discharged)
>Felicity Jones
David Kipper
>Kenneth Branagh
Ben King
>Jude Law
Muffin Psychologist
>Heather Graham
Romero - apartment guy
>Michael Pena
Bodyguard
>Gerard Butler
Chauffeur/bodyguard
>Giancarlo Esposito

Sorry king, I meant borderline

Deleted it myself. I'm on my static PC IP, don't wanna get banned on this device.

420 dollars LMOA

What would you do if a marine approached you saying he wanted Johnny Deep’s phone back?

420 dollars and chicken tacos.

LETS GO LADS.

CHICKEN TACOS

kek

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>jenkins rewarded the homeless man for the phone
what a swell guy

AHAHAHAHAHA BASED
>FIJI WATER
BASED

based homeless person getting a nice meal and crack money for safekeeping /ourguy/'s phone

Kej

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>420 dollars and chicken tacos
LMFAO

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS TO A HOMELESS MAN ON SKIDROW

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>Fiji Water
THEY'RE ADVERTISING IT AGAIN

$420 and chicken tacos
absolutely based

what does 420 mean?

>$450, chicken tacos, chips, fiji water as a reward

kek

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you forgot the most important one
>Mads Mikkelsen as Johnny Depp

who writes this crap

We need some comedic relief. Lets make the Chauffeur/bodyguard Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle.

why are all the people in depps company genuinely nice and kind hearted people?

BPD is rapid changes in personal relationships where people are afraid of being abandoned.

Bipolar is long bouts of depression that go away.

>hit the streets and try to get lucky
same desu

420 is a recognized time among potheads to get high.

It's a real mystery

depp bros, what's our cope gonna be when we lose the trial?

Artist Friend and Front Desk Guy are comedic relief.

>went to coachella with amber and friends
he had sex

OH NO NO NO

He recognized them and kept employing them.

And mania, dummy

TURD SURPRISE

No wonder my depression keeps coming back, it never left

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420chan?

SURPRISE
IN
THE
BOSSES
BED

DEFECATION

Bipolar is bouts of manic behavior followed by depressive behavior.

Oh god they're talking about the turd

ohhhhhhhhh the turd

And why do all the people who work for Amber absolutely loathe her?

>defecation

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>the defecation

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KEK

the defecation

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>She fucking laughed
It's over for her.

>THE SURPRISE IN THE BOSSES BED
AHAHAHAH HOLY SHIT

lankletsisters... not like this...

THEY TALKED ABOUT THE POOP

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IT'S POOP AGAIN

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But Ron Perlman isn't funny unless we are talking about his twitter feed

MAGIC MUSHROOMS

so she ADMITTED it wasn’t the corgi
>this is huge

Could be that he interviews them before recruiting them

Alejeandro looks them in the eyes to assess their character before he hires them

da magic mushrooms

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She sucked my BIG BLACK COCK.

What a kino face

I WITNESSED IT

it's over amber sisters she's drugged up and washed up she can't be taken seriously.....

IF THE SHIT FITS

lmao

DONT PUT IT OUT WITH YOUR BOOTS, TED

the laughs we had along the way

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DONNY, I'LL EAT YOUR SHIT LIL DONNY

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