2 norse mythos films coming out in 2022
Northman
>Blood and guts
>Manly af
>Protagonist fucks a hot chick
>Ends with battle in a volcano
>Real stakes, not a bunch of visual nonsense
>No DA MESSAGE
>Bombs at box office
Thor 4
>Barely Norse mytho at this point
>King Valkyrie
>Female Thor
>Sexually ambiguous Starlord
>Will have tons of visual nonsense
>Bound to make 1 billion dollars
Bros, are manly kinos dead
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It's not disney, it's millennials and zoomies and capeshit. Disney is only part of the problem
just watched this kino last night only thing that kept bothering me was why this chick has braces? also the fart joke during the willem defoe scene was so fucking based and fartpilled
northman is unfathomably based and makes normies seethe. no nig nogs involved alone makes it kind but the fact it was actually good is truly next level
noticed the braces too thought that was weird as fuck
It's made by Robert Eggers. He isn't going to do what someone like Mel Gibson does, which is to tell an authentic story with dark elements to bring out the truth of the narrative more. Eggers won't provide a satisfying resolution. Instead he creates a meandering plot with some interesting parts, usually the first 30 minutes are really good, but it all falls apart in the ending and you're left asking yourself what the fucking point of it all was.
Do I give a shit if the production quality is good if the story ends with 'the character is psychologically fucked up and their own worst enemy' again?
The world is bleak enough right now without sitting through another Egger's movie that ends in shitty nihilism. At least whe people go see Thor 4 (which will be trash) they expect to feel some semblance of joy by the end of it.
I'm not against nihilistic movies, but making the pikachi shocked face because the movie bombed is retarded.
Not braces. Norse bodies were found with markings on their teeth, probably ritualic
>filtered by literally Hamlet
This is the cultural decline you get when you raise 3 generations of boys without fathers
people are fucking pussies these days and would rather turn their brain off to nonsense
I hate that it was the stock fart sound but it was based of Eggers to throw that in there
They literally carved grooves into their teeth and filled them with colors for intimidation
that is completely retarded KEK fucking norseniggers
Not like they had much better to do with their time
Well it was over 1,000 years ago
Nigger behavior
Going to see this in 2 hours. What i expect?
Hype action scenes
A lot of sentences where you're going to realize this movie would be better with subtitles
Hallucination scenes out of nowhere
Overall fantastic time
The Green Knight but with 1000% more testosterone
>Thor 4
>Barely Norse mytho at this point
>at this point
Ty bros. I liked green knight even if was a bit boring
>DA MESSAGE
Da message was that revenge is bad user and that you should just move on with your life
The Northman was literally bad though. It does not in any universe deserve a billion dollar box office.
Was it taken down? When?
>Da message was that revenge is bad
>Movie ends with protagonist simultaneously fulfilling his destiny, saving his family and going to viking heaven as a result of completing his revenge.
Do you shamelessly shill this film for free? You know posting it won't stop it from being a flop right
You don't get Eggers. Eggers is all about portraying things as his historical characters would have seen them.
You can't separate the northman or the witch from their point of view characters.
His historicity boner gets misinterpreted by both fans and critics as nazi shit but he just wants character perspective to drive the film. Like has half right the ending is really all about the character believing in his "fate" since those are the times/culture he lived in.
the Northman hasn't bombed. for an art house film it's doing well at 26.2 million. word of mouth is helping that movie it has legs.
Tuesday ticket sales were higher than Saturday, Sunday and Monday respectively.
it probably breaks even which is fine
eccentric kino
>for an art house film it's doing well at 26.2 million
Too bad it's not an arthouse film, but a studio blockbuster that costed 90 million.
>it probably breaks even which is fine
this, arthouse isn't about making lots of money quickly and then being forgotten when the next blockbuster is released.
70-90 million, the reports of the budget are conflicting. either way it's made at least a 3rd of its cost back after 5 days. not a blockbuster but if word of mouth and repeat viewing autism is driving ticket sales increase, it could break even.
even if it comes close but misses the mark it'll make the studio money in licensing fees.
as long as it brings a return to investors and is in the red with the studio overall, they'll make more and the eggman will be back making more kino.
Who is "you"? One can figure that most of us here are within those three generations.
>the fart joke during the willem defoe scene was so fucking based and fartpilled
clearly a homage to ronja the robbers daughter, eggers knows his shit
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>manly
Is that a woman in the pic? Looks cringe.
thing is that Eggers writes the characters and events, so their interpretation of events is still his.
I think you might have nailed why his films don't work, though: he's a director LARPing as his characters, not a writer using characters to tell a story.
basado
I just saw the northman. It was very well made but I wish it was half as weird as The Lighthouse and tried something new with the very basic revenge plot we all know.
Also would have liked for anya to have an actual reason to be in the film other than to rescue him at the end and give a reason to abandon the revenge plot. I doubt she would have taken the role based on the script if it wasn't Eggers.
I liked that he tried to make as if the viking beliefs were fact and supernatural things were real. But it's like he was afraid to go too far (like the draugr scene edited to not actually be real).
I like that it was a completely untouched by any progressive bullshit though. It was true to the era it was set in. I like that he isn't made out to be a hero at all and there is no modern morality.
Fidget spinners weren't inveted yet
unfortunatly this. its not a bad movie, but it feels like a watered down vinland saga with north euopenas acting more like beasts than humans
except the ending was fucking kino and utterly Homeric you retard
how the fuck did you get "nihilism" out of that, or any of his endings lol
First movie the bitch got to be a witch and serves satan.
Second movie the dude fucked up and got punished by Poseidon forever
Third movie the man fulfills his destiny and got some tail
No nihilism here.
>Thor 4
You forgot the Enchantress who, being so sexy, and feminine should never appear
Yeah I don't understand where he got nihilism from. He dies knowing his woman and children are safe and died in the most honorable way he could imagine. He died as happy as he could possibly be. If he had left he would have been paranoid and filled with regret about the oath he gave to his father and would be depressed that he might not die in battle.
He was still under studio supervision. We know for one that he wanted the characters to speak only norse, but he had to change it to english and keep the native language only for ritual scenes. If he had full freedom, it would have been full psychedelia. As it is right now, it's just one of the best viking movies ever made.
>Sexually ambiguous Starlord
How mad do you think James Gunn will be?
That guy literally created MCU's starlord, and the other directors are doing their best in order to rape his own creation.
kino of the highest order
can't wait for tv explaining why it's shit
Is the pic of OP Yolandi Visser?
This movie was anything BUT nihilist.
It bombed because it was too white
primal behavior. you only relate it to niggers because they never evolved dumbass.
guess you’re not allowed to like Zodiac, Assassination of Jesse James or Barry Lyndon either
I never said anything about liking. I loved the northman, just called it for what it is.
>'the character is psychologically fucked up and their own worst enemy' again?
This is your perspective. From Amleth's point of view his lived his life to the fullest. In terms of some kind of "meta perspective", I don't think Egger's really has one. His vision is the vision of Norse people in 9th century Norway. It wasn't like a Coen brother's film where you get a particular philosophy or moral commentary. It's fully on board with Amleth's motivations. A faithful representation of the virtues of pagan europe, in all its ugliness and beauty, regardless of how "nihilistic" or offensive contemporary audiences find it
>No DA MESSAGE
It's pretty damn subtle but it's there
You can have expensive arthouse
whats DA MESSAGE of this. Marvel is too arthouse, I cant follow.
I haven't even watched the movie and it seems I'm halfway accurate.
Embarrassing. Look at the nig's twiggy arms. The fuck is she going to do against an army of mutant lizards? What the fuck is insect girl going to do, other than flash those excellent thighs atop a cracking pelvis area? Only bitch-face Carol and Wanda Sue would be any use.
Just finished. I literally was in tears by the end that i was witness to such absolute kino.