He is literally me minus the princess part

He's like ten feet tall

Disagreeable.

Fuckwad?

Stop it

fuck, that looks so comfy

Oh wow that's some of that adult humor sprinkled throughout the movie isn't it? Clever! I like it because the whole family can enjoy it!

>grumpy strongfat asshole like shrek
>meet a hot chubby chaser and fall in love
>I marry her
>bitch gets fucking fat
Shrek is literally me, especially the princess part.

I see that I imagine: insects and parasites, the opposite of comfy.

youtu.be/9zYT5hQR4Q4
Would Farley have been a good Shrek?

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I'm not green and I don't provide for myself but yeah I'm shrek.

Sure. He'd have been fine. He just wouldn't have been scottish.

you prolly think this is comfy. copletly sterilized, no bugs.

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>hes never seen Cars

No I don't, faggot.
This pic that I found on google is a comfy place to be swimming in, better than some bug infested shithole.

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>tropical island paradise
>no bugs
my man bugs are a fact of life

Shrek has a house that’s what I was referring to when I said shrek’s swamp

I know there's bugs everywhere, but in this one the chances of a disgusting centipede or demonic worm to go near me is basically 0.

I am also a large, fat, angry, bald, and unemployed scotsman OP
Rural fife is the home of many likeminded shreks

>bobbitt worm or mantis shrimp hiding in the sand chops your fucking toe clean off

this is so incorrect its not even funny.
I live in a place that looks like pic and I've literally been woken up in the middle of the night by a 10inch centipede trying to "bridge" itself off my windowsill onto my face.
I thought
>oh the geckos are friendly this morning
as I drifted in/out of consciousness. then I felt the legs.
Unless you are literally standing on a white sand beach you will be accosted by more bugs on a tropical island than anywhere else I've been barring alaska. And its not like there isn't shit on the beach too.
hydroids, sand fleas, urchins whatnot.

>bobbitt worm
Why did God create this thing

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>mantis shrimp
This one is kinda cute though
>I live in a place that looks like pic
Where exactly?

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Shrek didn't own the Swamp. The kingdom did. It's the whole point of the first movie

shrek is drek

guam

>tfw loner
>tfw live in swamp
>tfw green
Literally me too

Are you fucking dumb?
It is Shrek's land and it's why he went to Farquaad himself to get them off his land.

He was squatting

>no, no, no, dead broad off the table!
funny to think necrophilia is too much even for an ogre

Looks like a paradise, if you ignore the insects that is.

Oh yeah dude those eyes are adorable. And they can see light in 6 different spectrums.
They're seeing shit in dimensions that we cannot even comprehend, like adorable little Cthulhus.

But if you get too close to them, one second you have fingers, the next second you don't have fingers.

Okay let me rephrase that was shrek’s house comfy

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I spend most of my time indoors or in the water/at the beach.
once a year I'll make the mistake of going for a boonie stomp into the jungle.
fucking mosquitoes and ants mang. it's always miserable in the bush

I’m surprised that you managed to spell everything correctly instead of using the phonetic bullshit Scottish “people” use to cling to the last shreds of the cultural identity England left for them.

you got green skin and disgusting tube ears? bruh, go on joe rogan

>Punch so hard they can break bones
Scary little faggot

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>imagine using your finger and flicking a clam so hard that it cracks like an egg

jesus christ

Just because cars is fucking terrible doesn't mean shrek gets a pass for poisoning an entire generation and continues to do so

I'll remember that if I ever visit this beautiful place, fuck insects.

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Is this the island from Just Cause?

No, even Farquaad acknowledged it was his land, he just didn't know it was already owned. Hell, they both consider the fairy tale creatures squatters.

>movie about accepting how you look and how even when you're ugly you can be happy
>Makes fun of lord faarquad for being a manlet
What did they mean by this?

Kinda similar but nah

>I’ve seen laser beams and stuff

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Yes but only because as a Mexican, I was raised in a house almost just like it

Shrek 2 is a bad movie loved by autists due to the pop culture references, pop songs, cameos and "3 jokes in a minute" writing (quanity over quality)

>He's like ten feet tall
he's a manlet compared to other ogres youtube.com/watch?v=2gN7zUraxw4

t.

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if you're ugly you'll be fine, but if you're anything below 6'2" just kys lmao

SOMEBODY

shrek is a manlet himself though, for ogre standards at least

shrek can beat the shit out of people and has a sense of humor, he isnt fishing for sympathy on the rumpleforeskin shitposting tapestry

>faarquad
He was a racist dbag so he had the roasts coming.

2 and 3 are bad films which just happen to have a few laughs (every Dreamworks comedy has laughs)

No retard Farquad only allows him to keep the land on the condition that he works for it

Antz and original Shrek are the only animated films made at Palo Alto, weirdly enough

The concept of ownership isn't real. At the end of the day the person who "owns" something is the person who has enough physical force to kill or otherwise intimidate anyone else who claims to "own" it. Farquad owned the land because he controlled an army of knights that could have killed Shrek if Shrek refused to accept Farquards ownership.

Nobody cares dumb chud. Find your own convo.

No one asked.
No one cares.
Didn't read.
Dilate + ratio

The objectively comfiest possible place on the planet is in a small, cozy wood cabin in a lightly snowing area at night.

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>women turn into ogres over night
genius analogy

People say Im Rumpelstilskin for some reason. Not even a manlet.

>bed moves slightly in the night
nigga dat dog finna get crushed

How do you think military conquest and authoritarian communist governments work? Do you think Russians just forget to say 'muh rights' when the Jews were killing them?