Why aren't there any good movies on the crusades?
Why aren't there any good movies on the crusades?
Chase Howard
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Landon Edwards
Nathaniel Lewis
Because you'd have to make the Christians the villains
Brody Edwards
There are very few good movies about Middle Ages in general
Jason Diaz
noooo not the heckin horse
Blake Carter
are there any contemporary first hand accounts of an old-timey hack and slash battle?
like you'd just swing your sword for 20 minutes and then get tired and take a break or what?
Blake Sanchez
They should make a wacky comedy about the Fourth crusade. It would fit.
Robert Hall
>Swing your swords
Spears, you moron. They used spears.
Ian Morgan
We'd need serious historians to work with historic based directors like Eggers, using primary sources and a lot of money. Sadly nobody would finance this project as the average goy doesn't care about medieval history. It would be kino from the Byzantine emperor writing a letter to the Pope, to the Pope conducting speeches and marshalling lords for war, to the journey by foot across Europe into Constantinople, to the Crusaders meeting the emperor, to them sieging and taking multiple cities along the way to Jerusalem, then the final siege and takeover of the Holy Land. Maybe an end scene where most of the Crusaders return home with a few men remaining to defend the cities.
You could have a second part with the beginning of the end of the crusader states and the final retreat to Cyprus and the loss of Antioch. It would be an ambitious project depending on how kuch of the story you want to tell especially since these states existed for three centuries.
Nicholas Lopez
Kingdom of heaven
Levi Campbell
>mfw
Easton Sanchez
there are at least 5 swords in that jpg image friend
Joseph Russell
retarded zoomzoom
Ayden Reed
Kingdom of heaven directors cut is kino stfu
Logan Martinez
Kingdom of heaven is pretty good
Evan Moore
They're boring as fuck
>walk long way
>pick random big city
>siege city for 10 years
>lose castle
>walk back home with 2/3 army dead
>rinse repeat until dead from gout
Jaxon Young
>im not saying it’s aliens
Benjamin Phillips
kino
James Anderson
Kék
Nathan Roberts
It's really, REALLY mediocre movie. At best
Brody Cruz
Better than modern trash about a whore trying to pick between 2 chads, some retarded commentary about le oppressed minority people or muh superpowered humans in capes and cgi suits cracking le ebin jokes and blowing everything up.
Kevin Wood
ok but theres no way these battles had thousands of people. maybe a couple hundred, tops
Owen Russell
Kingdom of Heaven was great
The Last Duel too
You form your opinon after consulting "IMDB" and Californian media? Not my problem..
Julian Hall
>DEH!
Jason Baker
i heard it was mostly a couple of dozen people hacking each other up and everyone else kind of stood around waiting to see what happens
over and over again
Aiden Cook
No. Those are all way better than the crusades.
Also, literally everything you mention happens during the crusade.
Jackson Kelly
sounds like a monty python bit or something
Christopher Reed
kek dumbass
Carter Sanchez
The issue is that of course, America/the kikes control Hollywood, so only certain kinds of topics/wars are covered. If Hollywood wasn't so insanely kiked, we could have some seriously kino war movies. Just imagine:
>Franco Prussian war drama/romance about a German man and French woman who meet for the first time in mid 19th century Alscase, both of which are staunch nationalists, fall in love admist worsening tensions between the two countries, and they must decide if their loyalty to their country or to each other is more important
>Crimean War kino about a young Greek Muslim Janissary who while fighting in the caucus, realizes he is fighting against his brothers, and switches sides
>tv series about the waning days of Muslim Sicily or Crete, places where the polar opposite Byzantine, Latin, and Muslim cultures combined into a new and distinct culture, where people spoke a bastardized version of Latin/Greek/Arabic
>alternate history kino in which the venitians don't betray the east in the 4th crusade, and the combined forces of Christianity are strong enough to beat out Muslim forces, resulting in a peace treaty that affirms the existence of the crusader states, where they're still a regional power today
>police movie about a day in the life of two Roman legionaires patrolling and keeping the peace in Roman Britain, shot and edited to seem like it was filmed in one continuous take. Think 'End of Watch' but with Romans as the cops and Britons as the niggers; they spend the day alternating in helping with violent rebellions, helping Roman citizens get their cats out of trees, and investigating a brutal new cult that kidnaps people for human sacrafice
I could go on for days on cool, historical/war kinos. But the problem is Bobby Boomer, Jamal the peaceful protester, and the rest of the retards who watch movies nowadays don't wanna see it, and kikes cater to them and their purchasing power. Historical kinos don't sell plushies and theme parks.
Noah Thompson
No none of those are better than the Crusades zoomer and no none of that happened during the Crusades either it was a congregation of God fearing devoted men heading into battle against the m*slim hordes that would've wiped their culture out of they hadn't banded together to fight. You owe a lot of your modern lifestyle to your crusader ancestors who bled in the sand killing filthy pisslamists, or else you would be little more than a slave peasant in a sharia infested Europe today.
Samuel Howard
>and no none of that happened during the Crusades
Yes, all of it did. Especially the minorities.
>it was a congregation of God fearing devoted men heading into battle against the m*slim hordes that would've wiped their culture out of they hadn't banded together to fight
Literally no event did more to allow Muslims to push into Europe than the crusades. They basically handed the Balkans, and later Hungary, to the Turks
>You owe a lot of your modern lifestyle
1: That's a downside, not a positive. 2: I own more to Poland. Which, fuck Poland.
>or else you would be little more than a slave peasant in a sharia infested Europe today.
No. But the Balkans would be way less of a mess and the Roman empire would still be around.
Julian Clark
You're both retarded, but especially
Christian Robinson
No, mostly him.
Explain to me what the crusades actually did to stop Muslims. They openly unified the various sultans, destroyed Byzantium, and ultimately all failed spectacularly to achieve anything. Even the likes of the Spanish reconquest and the Baltic crusades ended up backfiring.
Asher Miller
>Spanish reconquest backfired
that's why muslims still rule spain
Dylan James
why would you want more excuses for christians le bad movies
Jonathan Collins
another thread, another 70iq ESL
Carter Campbell
It's why Barbary pirating continued to be a issue for centuries and let's not even talk about the mess created by Spain itself. Who basically did everything wrong and eventually ended up dragging down Catholicism with them as a actual political force. Unironically, it would have been better if Granada was still occupied by Muslims.
Eli Brooks
>70iq
I would say you are projecting, but that would imply you have above 70 iq.
Zachary Martinez
Nah, Spain's mistake was allowing the moriscos to live instead of massacring all of them.
Benjamin Barnes
>i would say you have 70 IQ but that would imply you have above 70 IQ
lmao retarded ESL roasted himself (again)
fuck off gypsy, you're officially too dumb for 4chinz lol
John Campbell
No actually I'm in the right. Thanks to the Crusades Muslim expansion into Europe was halted, and your argument about crusades uniting muslims is false cause the Arabs were already pretty unified except for maybe 2 other kingdoms further south by Egypt and would have stretched deep into Europe if the first crusade hadn't kicked their ass and halted that advance. The following ones failed to recapture lost territories, but the first one literally saved Europe
Benjamin Barnes
Bracaleone 2
Carson Fisher
>Thalatta! Thalatta!
Should be a movie about the 10,000 Greeks marching out of Turkey
Parker Fisher
I feel like I know what you look like IRL. You would shit your pants and die instantly user, stick to your capeshit and anime.
Samuel Parker
You now remember when leftoids/atheists tried making the crusades into a new slavery/holocaust in the 00s but completely failed.
Brayden Rogers
I'm literally 6'1 I would thump your skull, also I've had sex with 3 women so the incel argument doesn't make sense. Cope.
Gavin Morales
Impossible to make today - especially without glossing over the fact that Muslims almost invaded Western Europe at Tours. Kingdom of Heaven is the best you'll get.
Jace Thompson
The Catholic Church won’t allow it because the crusades literally prove Orthodoxy was correct
James Young
Jews laugh hysterically at you every time you try to make christianity political, because they are fully aware you will bow to them.
Grayson Peterson
t. Seething anglogermcuck
Ian Nelson
>police movie about a day in the life of two Roman legionaires patrolling and keeping the peace in Roman Britain, shot and edited to seem like it was filmed in one continuous take
Jaxson James
I'd rather have Sharia and be able to legally kill trannies
Jose Reyes
>6'1
You are short
Luis Mitchell
>Allowing them to live
Yeah, no.
My bad. I meant 7 iq.
Cameron Taylor
>Thanks to the Crusades Muslim expansion into Europe was halted,
>Halted
Tell that to Serbia and Hungary.
>and your argument about crusades uniting muslims is false cause the Arabs were already pretty unified
1: No, they were not. 2: The Turks sure as fuck were not.
>and would have stretched deep into Europe
Like, say, reach Hungary?
>The following ones failed to recapture lost territories, but the first one literally saved Europe
They didn't even save Byzantium. Which, again, they ended up destroying. Meanwhile, expansion into Italy and Spain had ended centuries ago. You fail at history, brainlet.
Henry Roberts
>Almost invaded western europe
Yeah, in 732. Literally centuries before the first crusade.
This is like claiming you can't make a movie about world war 2 without pointing out the French role in the thirty year war.
Ryan Nguyen
It's off-topic but go watch The Deluge (1974)
Jonathan Wright
>Reddit spacing
Not reading
Nolan Perry
>Literally nothing but overly romanticized ahistorical crap.
This is literally all history we actually get. Give me a Crimea war story that correctly shows the mass incompetence and stupidity on all sides and the insane media frenzy to demonize Russia.
Ryan Moore
Of course, if you were capable of reading you wouldn't be making insanely stupid claims like this.
Jace Richardson
>mfw there's no kino about this absolute madlad brutally stomping Saladin at Jaffa with a battle axe and sea boots.
Jose Watson
Well, yeah. It's hard to write fun stories about a guy that got fucking owned.