The Northman

As predicted. Once again I am vindicated, better luck next time Neggers fans.

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omg the fart scene... really?! i thought the film was too serious, i was expecting something like Vikings. i thought willem Defoe's character was funny tho

what does it smell like? be exact

>no Anya tits
RRREEEEEEE

Nicole Kidman is a bitch

You didn't laugh when he decapitated the zombie and then shoved his head up his ass?

i loved her character in this movie. she was girlbossing

It's fucking intense at times. The fire dancing scene was great. The only problem with this film is the awful fight scenes. It didn't feel organic and it was very underdeveloped. Still a solid 7/10

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Man this thread reads alot like some normalfag posts on kikebook or something. It was great. I love that Eggers somehow manages to filter normalfag audiences consistently with his kino. The VVitch wasn't scary enough because it wasn't like The Conjuring 2, The Lighthouse was crap because it didn't make sense, and now The Northman is nothing like the fag favorite show Vikings. Then they complain that movies aren't good anymore, what do they want?

>what do they want?
Movies as background noise while they play on their tablet

where'd you see it? I saw it at some dolby imax whatever theater with amazing surround, it was great

Perhaps Troy, LOTR and Star Wars would be better suited for you since the fight scenes are sped up and have whacky camera cuts to make it look more intense.

Didn't like how they made the twin daughter the future queen other than that great movie

Same type of venue actually. The score was amazing. Really amplified the chanting. Dune did that really well too. I was in a pretty packed theater and one guy yelled out that it was terrible at the end lmao. I just don't get how such a well made movie evokes such negative reactions

nicole and anya acting mogged the rest of the cast

Look at this seetheposter. Hey dumbass, maybe take your fatass back to the theater and watch it again. The fight scenes were underdeveloped and felt like I was watching an s Craig zahler film. Go suck a dick

Filtered. This film was wasted on you.

I think some people feel like it’s “boring”, but I actually think the Green Knight comparison in the OP is apt, because both are about ambiguity of myth, archetype and reality. I think all of Eggers movies are in a sense about reality, even though they’re fantastic. They’re historical in the sense Livy is historical, which incidentally the wiki for Amleth claims the earliest version we have was probably influence by Livy’s account of Brutus (the first and likely mythologized one, not the assassin of Caesar). Livy’s history of Rome is very mythologized, especially in the early book, but I don’t think to Livy this would make it non-factual. Anymore than a mythological account of the history of America that included a tale of escape to freedom as a founding myth would be unreal. The early myth of Rome IS the substance of Rome, it’s not a date or dry fact that we can confirm but it’s a story of the substance of Rome, told by and for its own people. Myths are like this, they’re context, they’re the knowledge that illuminates an object, the object being the dry and inert substance.

In Northman and Green Knight there is some messing around with the idea of myth from its foundation, because we’re dealing with the mythological characters themselves as “real people” as well as the archetypes. Like they’re removed from the archetypes at the same time they’re supposed to embody them. It’s more obvious in Green Knight, because Gawain straight up runs away from his role, rejects his story. Amleth does it so quickly as to seem another part of his story. He most prominently questions it when his mother confessed, when he is on the boat with Olga, and when he is on his knees at the mountain in front of Fjolnir. Those moment are Amleth as “real person”, but he is never fully real. His success is his apotheosis as the myth.

>awful fight scenes
Dude what? I bet you didn't even realize all of the kino tracking shots and one-takes. Did you need slow motion or some bullshit like that?

More like my time and money was wasted on this film. The only good thing about it was maybe people will start to realize that the proto-typical white culture they've started to idolize is every bit as savage and uncivilized as what they imagine African cultures to have been like. It's hard to watch this movie and not see a mirror being held up to the exaggerated portrayals of Native Americans and Africans.

Why compare to Green Knight? Better comparisons are The Revenant, Conan the Barbarian, and Valhalla Rising.

Get your testosterone levels checked.

They're high enough that I don't waste my life pretending to like a bad movie because of the monochromatic cast that /pol/ convinced me was some kind of victory over my imaginary enemy, so sounds like they're doing pretty good. Might want to get yours checked though.

>getting filtered by Green Knight

also
you got trailer'd.

no one itt is even talking about the racial aspect except for you. meds

What makes you think I am pretending? The film is visceral and clearly too violent for you.

Green Knight was just as mediocre
spouting that someone is 'filtered' is not an argument for a film's ability to entertain unless you're simply comparing your autism levels to someone else

Just because Gawain is a mythological character that is treated as real in the Green Knight, but not in some really crude way. Or at least I don’t think it’s too crude. It isn’t entirely the same story in the sense that fate is less of a component in Green Knight, so in a funny way I think a movie like Minority Report is actually about a similar subject to Northman, except Minority Report is way more “crude” in how directly and clinically it is dealing with the idea of fate. It’s scientific in how it treats history. Northman treats it like a story, but it’s a story Amleth is telling as well as a story already told about Amleth. Amleth is telling the story to himself (his mythological visions are the visualization of this), but it’s also a story he is actually acting out for us, a story that already existed and was told to him (by Bjork, Willem Dafoe, his father). I think that’s the meat of the movie, and that’s why the ending is so euphoric for Amleth. He is almost crying at the vision of the Valkyrie, not just because he is literally going to Valhalla, but because he is totally certain of his story. He is like Will Ferrel deciding he had to die in Stranger than Fiction, Amleth achieved self-actualization in fulfilling his fate.

"The racial aspect" has dominated conversation of this film since the first trailer, don't like to make a point, it only reveals that you don't HAVE a point.

My brother in Christ you don't know what violence is.

>entertain
lmao, user watch more movies.
Wait a sec, how is Green Knight 'mediocre'?

I haven't seen it but it's a masterpiece hand I found the plot to be extremely satisfying. can't wait to watch it myself and agree with my retroactive opinion.

The writing and dialogue were so weak. Why aren't more people mentioning this? Great production, amazing visuals, and then the shit dialogue stuck out like a sore thumb.

the plotting was kinda weak but i didn’t find the dialogue weak, examples of what you mean?

Got any particular examples? Because the only nitpick would be some of Ana's lines, but I didn't think it was so terrible it could be considered detracting

I don't have the script in front of me or anything, but the scenes that stick out to me are when Amleth (nice 'Hamlet' anagram, Eggers) is alone on top of a shack and just gives exposition for no reason, and when he and Anya are together after the hot spring ass scene, and he just spouts generic "i've only known hate/vengeance, never been close to anyone" lines.

>Amleth (nice 'Hamlet' anagram, Eggers)
Is this bait?

that's just how men talk

>The fart scene was really stupid
That part was weird, especially when his dad was like "Mmmm that was a smelly one!"

I won't watch it
Snowniggers are cringe

Just got back frkm the theatre. I thought it was very good. The soundtrack, the cinematography, and the theme of honoring ones ancestors and securing your future was based as fuck. The scene with Willem Dafoe was a little cringe, but the rest was great imo. Luckily my theatre wasnt too packed, and there wasnt a single negro. Also, you are spot on with the Green Knight comparison. Both of these movies tend to filter normies. Walking out of both of these movies I heard faggots complaining about the movie. People really have been programmed to accept nothing short of Marvel action flicks. 8.5/10

What the hell is with all these tranny threads making The Northman seem like shit. It is literally the best movie that has come out this year by far.

No, I think he may just be stupid.

it was kino that he was scolded by his mommy for entering her room without permission at the beginning then willem dafoe shaman tells him not to breach the world of women’s knowledge and whatnot and then when he’s a fully mature man he sneaks into his mother’s bedroom and learns secret information that totally shatters his worldview

like pottery

You expect a viking to know how to express his feelings in anything other than a blunt manner?

I wouldn't go that far. Eggers dropped the ball on several aspects of this movie, but he doesn't seem like a stupid guy.

This.

I was saying that the user you were replying to was stupid. No, the director based The Northman on tales that inspired Hamlet.

How was the plotting weak? Sure, simple story, but I don't see how that is a bad thing. The way a story is told is far more important anyways.

>See it yourself, 5/10

Who recommends a 5/10? A five is forgettable, you could have done something better with your time.

youtube.com/watch?v=T-0pjOXCO5c
I'm feeling it

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No interest. If you've seen one grimdark, washed-out-color-palette "edgy" take on European history, you've seen 'em all. There hasn't been an enjoyable such film since pic-related.

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Are these normies? Or just people with god awful taste?

This is my major gripe, it was cringe tier at certain points, which pulled me out of the story. They could have toned it down a bit and not made every single person a Shakespearean thespian.

You have not even seen the movie. You can't criticize it.

Farts usually stop being funny past age 10, user. I guess you have severe autism?

The movie takes place in what... 850 AD? Are you expecting people to talk like they do now?

Jesus christ...

I wept in my seat at the imagery of the royal family tree branching off of the beating heart. That's been my exact conception of my heritage since I was a child. Seeing it portrayed onscreen was deeply affecting.

That imagery has come to me only in dreams and moments of deep thought. That Eggers just broadcast it to a global audience blows my mind.

I can't believe this got made. I hope the Jew is trembling.

Context, moron. The father and son were pretending to be animals. Crawling and barking and eating like a dog is fine but farting is where you draw the line?

>what is context

I can't get certain images from the film out of my head. Can't wait to see it again.

Pretending to be animals was also cringe, but the fart was even more ridiculous. If I asked a hundred people to pretend to be a dog, they might crawl on all fours, bark, howl, etc. Not a single one would fart.

If they were truly going for "accuracy", no one would understand a word. Since you have to modernize the language for practical reasons, you might as well make it more relatable. Not saying they have to use modern slang, but there's a happy medium.

They had fully formed languages in the 10th century genius, these aren't fucking cave people. Human beings spoke to one another like people speak, i.e. in colloquial language or common tongue. Not like they're reciting theater dialog in some university Shakespeare class.

4/5, very good sword and sorcery kino.

Loved the movie. It works on many levels. As an action movie, a period piece (costumes and sets were fantastic), as a window into pagan culture/anthropology, and wrapped up in a perfectly symbolic story.
When his mother thanked for him for stabbing her in the heart it was quite moving. The truth is if we want to become men, all of us will need to kill our mothers (and out childhood self, too). The story tells us a way.
I also loved the way its edited to leave the magical aspects open to interpretation. The magic could really be happening, or only in the main characters head, or it could be occurring in a spiritual way where the tether to reality is partial/ambiguous, or even purely psychology in a Jungian sense.

What he said. Yes this. They could have toned down the prosaic dialog from like a 10 to a 6 and it wouldn't have been so distracting.

>dogs NEVER FART EVER
you clearly never owned one

He was talking to his sword on top of the shack you shortsighted homosexual

Who are you quoting? Nobody said that, or anything approaching that. Again, you obviously have severe autism, you're unable to properly interpret human communications.

>same level as the Green Knight
Green knight sucks though.

I didn't really notice the dialog being that out there. It seemed fine, but I do have a pretty big vocabulary so who knows.

You can't understand why a child would find a fart amusing, but I have autism?

It was a good movie if you're into the genre. Even sissy Reddit likes it.

Btw, sounds like you're thinking more about race as much as the pol boogieman. Vikings were savage and bad ass and also not prototypical white culture. What do you consider prototypical indian or African culture?

[agreeable]

The dialogue was pretty normal in my opinion. There were no lines that felt out of place or out of character. I guess people are used to constant quips now.

>If I asked a hundred people to pretend to be a dog, they might crawl on all fours, bark, howl, etc. Not a single one would fart.
You don't get it. It's an initiation ritual about accessing the masculine inner animal, released from the normal psychological constraints of day to day human society.
Strangely enough, it's our cultures lack of ritual that allow people like yourself to be so oblivious.

>a child would find a fart amusing
You've confused the conversation entirely. I don't have autism, so I don't know what treatment options are available to you, but you need to pursue them immediately. You can't go through life only half understanding basic words and sentences.

Blame your fellow progressives for constantly crying about wypipo. Nobody wouldve given a shit if this was released 10 years ago. It'd just be more sword and sorcery kino.