I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days...

I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em.

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mumble, mumble, mumble...Hunter Thompson... mumble, mumble,....rum diary...mumble, mumble, red bra,... mumble mumble....

Ahhh... ah. Edward ah scissorhands

The bumblebee is the thing, you see. Ms. Heard understood the bumblebee and used it against me. She would fire nickels at my head by holding them between her thumb and forefinger and flicking them. Often they would....would....would strike me. Like a missle, my friend-

OBJECTION HEARSAY

Sustained


...Right. So Ms. Heard would call them bumblebees. And at first, I believed her. But after I sobered up I realized she had been tricking me the entire time.

So if Depp wins, Yea Forums is going to watch the Pirates trilogy together while everyone drinks from their own megapints. Do we have an accord?

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The dude has always been an insanely rich and insanely famous dude who partied hard and blasted himself with drugs and alcohol for the past 30 years, so it makes perfect sense that he sometimes has a little trouble staying 100% coherent 100% of the time.

If anything, it's actually a marvel that he is still as coherent as he is. He should probably be on the same level as someone as Ozzy Osbourne when speaking.

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after a while the nickle bumbles needed a name. I called them fumbles you see, a fumble and a tumble causes a big rumble.I should explain the melancholy of remorse, its closer to excess. than abstinence of substance i often lacked substance *laughs* but i find myself sometimes to substantial for miss heard

>ugh your honor he was old, so cutting his finger off is justified
Brilliant amber, brilliant

lmao.
its funny because the older you get the more youll ramble indeed.

aye we can parlay on this day

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i will and between each movie i will have johnny's fav sneak

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If I were Johnny Depp, I would drop the wacky Hunter S Thompson act I'd been doing for the past 20 years because your job in a trial is to impress the jury, not make them think you're cool and mysterious

what is Amber's endgame? to single handedly bring down the MeToo movement?

He's been high this entire trial.

as someone who dated a BPD sociopath chick, this trial and the whole depp situation feels absurdly personal

i hate women so much it's unreal

Everyone likes him and laughs at his jokes while Amber visibly seethes. He's doing great, sorry

Depp won't win, but I don't think that's the point. I think he just wants to vindicate himself in the public's eye, which he is doing a great job at. I think we all knew he was a drug user, but he just comes off as a nice, respectful, and witty guy that would be fun to hang around.
>I think that box could fit some cocaine in it
Amber Turd just looks like a sociopath in court. Smiling when talking with counsel, then resuming the doomface just a moment later.

to give jews head and shit in beds

People like her don't have an endgame. Her entire life she has coasted by on people being yes-men to her because of her looks. She thought she could ruin Johnny Depp as some sort of sick revenge game and just get away with it, but now she's fucked because for the first time in her life, someone is telling her no.

I think it's intentional. Lawyers coach their clients.

Lmao

You've never done a drug in your life and should stop embarassing yourself

14 million dollars, I like how johnny laughed implying he has it

well im not gonna sit through dozens of hours of a defamation trial so ill take your word for it

Anyway, to cut a long story short, is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling.

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> Mr. Depp are you on drugs right now?

It's true. He commands the room and her lawyer is having trouble making him look bad. He just owns everything and mocks him while everyone laughs

much like most things i suppose
>IT WAS A YES OR NO ANSWER SIR
well then i guess yes
kek this madlad has been unadulterated kino

>Only all the ones I've been prescribed.

The tapes proving Amber Turd is physically abusive and admitting to lying to the public have existed for 2 years. All of Depp's exes and acquaintances have emphasized for years how there is no chance he is an abusive guy because he's a mellow and shy autist who runs away from problems. Even Amber's personal assistants and "friends" are saying she's a gaslighting maniac with no soul. All of this has been known for a while, why did it take so long for this to surface?

This is the best post in the catalog right now

M E G A P I N T
E
G
A
P
I
N
T

>Depp won't win, but I don't think that's the point.
he did the toughest part of cases like this and thats getting a Jury trial. Most cases of this natural don't even make it past pre trial the fact that his did and that he has a Jury Trial is in itself a very serious point for him.
>I think he just wants to vindicate himself in the public's eye, which he is doing a great job
so basically winning the trial because thats the majority of a Jury Trial in a civil case. We will have to wait and see the defenses witnesses but quite frankly atm Depp has a very serious possibility of winning this for what thats worth this early in the trial.

Will Amber take the stand too? i feel like everyone is celebrating too early

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Yes, and she'll do terribly. I say this as an Amberchad. She's always too dramatic when she talks about it

I think Secret Window is his best film, but yeah I'm down for that.
He won't win even if he should though; pussy pass is pussy pass

yea and your right trial will go on so long we will forget the dep

on cytube? i’m down

I'm watching the ninth gate instead

Johnny Depp is one of the most famous actors in the history of the world. Amber Heard is a terrible actress and was really only ever famous because she was hot.

I feel like this is the key to your observation.

Yes, and I will also be holding a festival of ice cream.

Hey he uses the tube from his ladies’ tampons to snort with just like me

What would Ambers cartel execution video look like?

Same man they're succubuses. It's always the super hot ones too

formerly Sneedvile

Aye

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AIEE MATEY

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Does she have one? I thought Depp was the one pushing this trial. She probably doesnt want to be here.

>Mr.Depp can you tell me what this is?
>a picture was placed in the courtroom near the judge
>That’s The Simpsons…..
>yes Mr.Depp it is more specially E-I-E-I the fifth episode from the eleventh season of The Simpsons
>Johnny smiles (this picture is from today)
>You’d get quote high unquote and would just barrage Amber with a moment from the show
>I mean I would reference it…..
>My name is Johnny and I’m here to sneed my name is Chuck and I’m here to suck. What did this mean Mr.Depp. You’d tell Ms.Heard you were “finna bust some Sneed” when you got home.

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* Mrs. Heard stands up, walks calmly towards the court, and takes an enormous shit on the judge's desk (many squirts end up on JD's face and hair), then concludes "i rest my case, your honour" *

Ah the days when movies weren't totally focus grouped to cater to a chinese audience or make a political statement.

>whole ordeal is about Amber bullying and being mean to Johnny
>Heards lawyer comes off as bullying and mean to Johnny
Amber bros is it just me or does this seem like a bad strategy

Rape and then chainsaws

She's counter suing him for 100 million dollars.

>countersuing
On what grounds?

Because

So what happened today?

Amber took a big smelly log in the middle of court

I feel you, bro. Fuck BPD women. They ought to be all put on a desert island together and filmed for reality TV.

Lawyer was actually high IQ to end the session with that audio tape. He knew it would end there and now the jury will spend the weekend thinking about that tape of Depp trying to cut himself with a butterknife while Amber records it and presents herself as the scared victim. It was a smart move.

Basically the defense's tactic is to make Johnny look like a druggie and alcoholic, which isn't hard, but I have a feeling they're leading up to saying that he blacks out and becomes violent, and I don't know how that can be disproven.

how is the trial public? why is the trial public? aren't most trials private?

t. retard who knows nothing about the law but is curious

What about her smile, though?

I genuinely hope he wins, I just don't have any faith in the Jewdicial system or the people. We live in clown world, after all.

I’d suck her log out of her fart box

It's not a criminal case, it's a civil suit

thanks

Probably by the dozens of people including past romances/ wives who have been around him in that state who say he's never been violent and the fact that all amber has is her and her simps word when all audio and visual evidence points to the contrary. And it's still going to be an uphill fight because it's a defamation case. Of a public figure. Who is a caucasian male.

So in Depps corner we have the kino line up of
>Bettany
>Manson
>Elton John
>Stanhope
>Nic Cage
>Stanton
>Alice Cooper
>Joe Perry
>And honorable mention to his painter buddy


In Heards corner we have
>Elon Musk
>James Franco


Am I missing anybody?

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BASED

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I don't know the legal technical reasons but it's not a criminal investigation but a civil case, and Depp wants to clear his name and expects the trial will redeem him in public eyes even if he loses.

He couldn't even really impeach Johnny's story about how his finger got cut. He made a couple snide remarks, but couldn't bring anything out that contradicted his story. That was kind of the main battle they needed to fight, and he backed down.

This audio was kind of dramatic but...ultimately doesn't mean anything. Ok....johnny was apparently miserable, and prone to nervous breakdowns. Which he's already admitted to, and he blames Heard. So ultimately the audio just kind of helps Johnny's side.

Only if we drink rum and or spiced rum

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Elon is probably with Johnny Depp in this.

He literally isnt. Guy is a massive simp if his texts are anything to go by

i get what you mean but it's not as impactful as it may seem
the defense is trying to paint depp as abusive and violent when he gets drunk but all of his negative drunk/high behavior results in him retreating inwardly and hating himself, not getting violent against her
the audio only helps depp's claim that she made him incredibly miserable

I like when the lawyer accused him of using the extremely offensive term "lesbian camp councilor" and johnny just shrugged and said he only said it because she referred to herself as that. Then they moved on to the next question.

>MePoo

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>lawyer: did you know that's offensive
>uh..... which year was it? 2013? lol it was a completely different world give me a break
based

>I have assaulted a couch or two