Have you ever pulled a turboautist move like this that fucked your chances with a girl, Yea Forums?

>'that sounds scary'.

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Lmao hope you walked away at that point

a girl once asked me to give her a massage, I said I didn't know how
took me year to understand what she ment

I've never even seen a woman

what does it mean? sometimes my sister asks me to give her a massage

You dumb motherfucker

I worked with a cute girl at a flower shop, and we had a flirtation. She said she didn't know any jokes. So (this makes me cringe just thinking about it), I wrote a joke of my own, printed it out, put it in an envelope for her. The next day, I said I had something for her as she came into the shop. I whipped it out and she literally jumped back a bit when she saw the envelope. I guess she thought it was a love letter. Anyway, she transferred to another shop after that, and I never saw her again.

why would it be "scary"?

>I whipped it out and she literally jumped back a bit when she saw the envelope. I guess she thought it was a love letter. Anyway, she transferred to another shop after that, and I never saw her again.

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Then there is this. The boldness. Just out.

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the only girl I've ever went out with I met on a dating app. We went out twice. We were talking every day for like a month and a half. And they were big, multi paragraph conversations about all sorts of stuff. I thought we clicked. The first date was awkward but the second date was awesome to me. Then she ghosted me. I constantly replay the second date in my head trying to figure out what I did wrong.

She probably thought you were whipping out your cock and were about to rape her
(would have been better than what you actually did)

>'that sounds scary'

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i think thats sweet user kun

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based

Why are women so callous? Like she could have just read your note. I never wanted to hate them but they are overall evil and spiteful creatures. When I was in highschool, I lost a lot of weight after my first year and was boyishly pretty. A cute but kind of awkward girl in my class asked me if I wanted to hang out after I had known her for a few months, I said sure. We hung out and watched movies and made out and she told me she was happy because she always liked me. I told her we could hang again soon, left, and come.monday back in class she wouldn't talk to me and was angry at me. To this day I dont know what I did. We really need robot wives.

>told her we could hang again soon, left
she prob wanted you to bust a nut inside her

>talking to this girl at a concert a few years back
>I faux pas'ed or did something bad but insignificant or something, can't really remember.
>I said I was sorry and she smiled and asked "How are you going to make up for it?"
>I didn't know how to respond so I just said "dunno" or something dumb like that.
I was drunk though so it doesn't count, I'm not autistic.

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A girl once asked if I wanted to spend the night at her place after we went out to eat and I told her I had to take a shit and said I could do it at her place and I said I wasn't comfortable with shitting in other peoples homes.

>go on date
>woman likes me
>never make a move on her and tell her how I really feel
>this has happened with 5 different women and I hate myself
>invited a man over to my house last night, he wanted me to top him but I wanted him to top me and he wouldn't
>I begged him to suck his dick and he wouldn't even give me that
>getting no pussy or dick
bros..

>that sounds scary

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Based faggot

years of sissy hypno and assplay did a number on me

Nah, I took the envelope out of my pocket, then said I had something for her. I said "whip it out" here, but I just had an envelope.

When I was in school, I was practicing a dance with a cute girl, for some school even bullshit. She jokingly said I was terrible because I had "two left feet". I didn't understanf the phrase like a retard and said something like "really? You might be right, my feet are kinda fucked up". She bursted out laughing, like a lot, I felt like an idiot. She reminded me about it for years. I think she liked me, but I am a retard so didn't make a move.
That could have went better if giving the letter was part of the joke. Like if you weren't being actually serious about it.

What a gentleman.

I had a lovely dinner with a lovely woman and I walked her home. She asked if I wanted to come in for a cup of coffee. I said no thanks, it keeps me up and went home. The next day I realize I blew my chance, that she was inviting me in for sex. So I called her to apologize but got her voice mail and I left an awkward message implying that I would have wanted to have sex with her if I knew.

>In college.
>Have a crush on a copy girl.
>Work up the courage to start a conversation.
>We end up chatting about college life.
>She's just started her studies and is working at the copy place for extra cash.
>"So you'll be here for a while?"
>"Yeah, sure".
>"Cool, gives me a reason to come back".
>She smiles and says "I'll be waiting".
>Leave feeling like a champ.
>Realize I have no idea how to further woo her.
>Never return in fear of ruining that nice little moment.
>Never saw her again.

>I said no thanks, it keeps me up and went home.

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king

>So I called her to apologize but got her voice mail and I left an awkward message implying that I would have wanted to have sex with her if I knew.

>>Never return in fear of ruining that nice little moment.
>>Never saw her again.

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I regret not having the balls to make a move, or misunderstanding a clear signal, a lot more than trying and fucking up

I refuse to believe this one to be real and you're george fucking constanza for real.

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I went to see La La Land on a first date. I was sick and coughed a shit load, but I knew I only had that one chance.

Sent a text asking if she likes horror movies, because I just had gotten a tip on a good one from a friend. She texted back:
>yeah, but only i groups
Needless to say it didn't went any further.

>'that sounds scary'

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>I regret not having the balls to make a move
This feeling is the absolute worst, especially after analyzing the signals a billion times later

I unironically lost a GF because I got really into Gamergate. I'm the biggest retard on the planet lmfao
we have fun though

Yup
My ex gf invited me to her birthday party
I couldnt find common tongue with her other friends so I was mostly sitting sileng.
There was that attractive female politician in my country running for presidency. She has a surname that meant "pickle" in my language.
It was a small party in her house and people were watching TV on the side. There the "pickle" politician appeared and I tried to break the ice by joking loudly
>Heh Magdalene Pickle? I bet all these guys around her would gladly stick their pickle in her
It wasnt by best joke and the audience wasnt impressed including my soon to be ex gf

I sat next to this cute girl I liked in my college ceteceans course (study of whales and dolphins). One time she just came right out and said
>"I really like sitting next to you!"
>I'm like, completely taken aback. I said
>"What?"
>"I said I really like sitting next to you."
>I just nod, maybe say "ok", don't capitalize on it.
>She never sits next to me again.

What’s wrong with replying “I really like sitting next to you too” then asking for her number?
Was it autism

Did you fucking argue about Gamergate with your girlfriend? Or did you break up with her because of it?

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we know what cetaceans are you fucking faggot

Shoulda gone with a “how dare you”

>I just nod, maybe say "ok", don't capitalize on it.
>She never sits next to me again.

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I’ve tried and failed and succeeded with a lot of women in my time but I always avoided movies because
A) I like art house violent crap
B) there’s really no time to chat or be cool
But recently this girl I’m really not interested in (very cute but I’m just tired) has been inviting me to like two movies a week and every time I can’t prevent myself from crapping all over them even though I know I shouldn’t. We watched The Lost City on Sunday and I think I ranted about some inane plot hole for fifteen minutes. I feel like I should stop but she keeps inviting me anyways so maybe it’s not a big deal.

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>asked a girl if I could finger her at the movies
>omfg why would you ask that!?
>in case you didn't want me to
>that doesn't make it okay!
>uhhh that's why I asked
tbf I was really drunk and not really interested in the gal but what is so wrong about asking in the first place?

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I was so nervous that I puked during the movie on a date
It was the Inception

this scene always makes me cringe. Travis was so close, if only he was about 20% less weird.

>Party
>Friend of a friend approaches me
>Says she's always admired me, and wants to spend more time with me
>I 'm pleasantly nonplussed, don't know what to say.
>I says "You've backed me into a corner, but it's a corner I'd like to be backed into."
>She smiles
>I say, trying go break the tension, "So I guess we'll be having some great sex later?"
>She excuses herself and leaves five minutes later.

I became obsessed with it and spent way too much time on it, and kept talking about it when she could not give less of a fuck
Yes, it's as cringe and terrible as it sounds. I'm usually not so retarded - I had a 5 year long term gf before her, I'm not an incel - but it was an awful relationship. She was an alcoholic and I guess that made me withdraw into retarded shit like gamergate. It was awful for both of us.
thanks for reading my blog

>I say, trying go break the tension, "So I guess we'll be having some great sex later?"
>She excuses herself and leaves five minutes later.

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ya had it and ya blew it.

>"So I guess we'll be having some great sex later?"
unironically could have worked depending on the tone and your attractiveness
she obviously found you attractive which means instead of saying it in a "jokey lighthearted" kind of way you said it in a "rapey" kind of way

>talking to girl I met on a forum ~2014
>smart, funny, runs a non profit on the east coast and is pretty liberal
>eh, good enough
>sends pictures, she’s mullato but whiteish features and fit
>she thinks I’m cute and likes me
>talk for a few weeks, getting more intimate
>she mentions moving because she can work from anywhere
>says my degree will make me a good fit in her company, money will never be an issue again
>thinking about it but need a shit test first
>send her the Windowlicker music video
>she calls and bitches me out about how I’m a racist etc
>I say ”it’s art and it’s funny”
>she says “wow so Midwestern hicks think this is art?”
>split second and I blurt out NIGGER
>she is crying
>I hang up
Haven’t thought about it since until today. Glad I didn’t settle for a nig. Don’t think I could have loved my kids. I’m not racist just can’t love brown children, simple as

I decided to ask a girl out for the first time at 4 in the morning because my insomniac brain thought that was what was going to let me sleep. Openly talked about using Yea Forums and being a massive incle autist within the first day of getting a response. Actually got my first date out of it, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere.

you did good
bitch had better know aphex