What would storylines would modern Seinfeld employ?

Jason Alexander is based and one of the first to share thoughts on Gilbert

There's a whole Twitter account dedicated to your question.

twitter.com/seinfeldtoday

elane get blackd

not to mention a whole subred-ACK!

>Elaine: Your girlfriend stormed the capitol!?
>Jerry: They didn't get her on film so I'd like to think she only lightly infiltrated.
*audience laugh*

>2015
it was hard to believe things would get even worse than back then and yet here we are.

Kramer goes to a Mexican doctor for sex change operation

>announced it fifteen minutes before official release
h-how did he know?

jery get canceled

Jerry deadnames Kendra Bania

>Jerry breaks up with a literal supermodel for something trivial
>George tries to avoid doing work but his plan ultimately backfires
>Kramer and Newman attempt a get rich quick scheme
>Elaine is a whore

I remember Jason's interview with Howard Stern in the 90s. He told the story of trying to have a threesome with a dude and girl and Jason was so grossed out by there being another guy that he threw up during sex.

>She brought another guy!
Another guy??
>Another guy Jerry!

Just watch the curb episodes that are the seinfeld reunion story arc, thats pretty much how it would be. They literally make an "i-toilet" joke

Kramer make IED

george get pronous

I guess there was less hardcore porn in those days so they weren't totally desensitized.
For me, I not only wouldn't be grossed out if there was a hung black dude with my gf, I'd be highly aroused!

sounds like classic Costanza if you ask me

>touching balls with costanza

Attached: 11DCDF97-7A4C-478D-96C4-F8BC30158A5A.gif (400x300, 1.31M)

GEORGE IS GETTING TRIGGERED

Okay you can go ahead and laugh. It is funny.

Attached: Kramer.jpg (650x430, 201.94K)

jery get pozzed

That would be amazing to see

Attached: 1628983416767.jpg (460x559, 28.15K)

Attached: Wojacostanza.jpg (772x960, 64.84K)

based

Attached: 1626582048881.jpg (539x960, 67.64K)

Mass murder by the US govt', the cast of seinfeld in a FEMA camp

Attached: 81a3d18f2c64d2cb2f58f01f5d125c67.jpg (700x1166, 106.34K)

>George gets a bidet and becomes addicted to anal stimulation.
>Later, he orders a prostate massager from amazon.

>Jerry gets cancelled for jokes from 20 years ago
>Elaine becomes Twitch streamer
>George gets Myocarditis and blames the Covid Vaccine
>Kramer and Newman sell their bathwater by claiming it's Elaine's

>George sets up a safe space for politics with his girlfriend because he's tired of hearing about it
>"it's everywhere I go Jerry, the tv, work, the radio. I can't stand it jerry"
>"well my jokes don't feature any politics, maybe you can stay in my comedy pieces"
>"Yeah right" *george smirks*
>"maybe I should try some political jokes in my next set."

Boa do da da ha ho huh hah do
>the next day the girlfriend says something political.
>"my safe space has been broken jerry, Broken"
>kramer comes in
>"Sounds like you need a safe space for your safe space!"
Bodom da dah dah do dah ada doh da da
>Jerry is doing comedy
>"Don't most jobs now require you to be awake to do them, my job does. Doesn't the President need to be awake to do his job? Isn't his job 24./7? How can he respond to emergencies if he's asleep? Does someone have to shake him awake.
>I mean say what you will about Trump but at least he did *something*"
>Jerry is booed off the stage

Oh daha sho soh hah es ha
>elaine is sent to HR for misgendering a trans person
>elaine argues with the HR lady who's black, calls her a nigger by accident
>is sent to a program to help her accept these terms and to stop her from being a racist
>program leader is kramer
>"KRAMER, would do you know about these issues?"
>"Elaine, I've had a personnel connection to these issues and I don't like hearing what I've heard about you Elaine"
>Someone pulls a tape line around the room
>"This is a safe space, Elaine, very safe, be careful what you say in here Elaine."
>it's Newman.
Dah Dah Daa dah ohshhh.

>2022
>seinfeld storylines
ishygddt

George get drip

Attached: 1629900338507.jpg (800x980, 95.74K)

george becomes a cuckold

jerry get ipad

>WHO!? WHO DOESN'T WANT TO WEAR THE MASK!?

You know what you are? You're a mask bully!

Attached: 1593861160710.png (636x773, 276.42K)

jery doesnt get ipad

what is the deal with ipad?

Kramer makes an NFT and convinces Jerry it could be useful, but Newman is behind the tech and rugpulls them both.

No George makes the NFT the twist is the NFT are pictures of the gang and they’re getting sick of George's shit comedy ensues

Jerry gets a droid but is confused when women keep ghosting him because his text bubbles are the wrong color

Reading this thread, I realise how awful our society is now. These threads were a lot funnier even just 5 years ago where there was more to laugh at in our world, but the 2020's are too fkn sad. Seriously. "Jerry get cancelled for joke from 20 years ago"? "Elain get blackd"?

jerry act sus

puddy would be a maga moron and they would all make fun of him

this dudes still alive?

kramer storms the capitol

>worship degeneracy
No.
Die, freak.

yeah that's right

...Sauce on that photo?

What’s on his face?

Literally nobody mentioned it until you did, permavictim.

Attached: iphone-x3YI.png (480x852, 39.15K)

yes but gilbert was jerrys comedy nemesis
its like the real world equivalent of george memorializing newman

But George is based on Larry David. It's probably more like Frank Costanza's lawyer memorializing Gilbert.
Or maybe the guy who played George on Jerry.

kek fuckign Newman i swaer to god sick of his shit

Attached: 81f9b02f8f42cf4603c3f9bcdb2338c5--what-kind-of-dog-kinds-of-dogs.jpg (236x178, 13.39K)

Jerry's stand up show gets cancelled by woke trannies

none of these are funny

>"Jerry get cancelled for joke from 20 years ago"?

nah if Jerry ever steps out of "line" he will get canceled for banging that 17 year old.

Attached: seinfeld 17.jpg (636x869, 73.43K)

george get canceled

>none of these are funny

who said Seinfeld 2022 is a comedy?

Jerry dates a chick who, after telling the gang she seems like a keeper, admits on their third date that she has an OnlyFans account. Jerry tells the gang this, and after some banter where Elaine says she could make one as a lucrative side offer and Kramer thinks he could open one, too, they make a bet to see who has more subscribers in a week. George hates the concept because he says it's discriminatory against bald men as nobody pays to see a bald man nude.
By the end of the week, Jerry talks to George says she was beautiful and made a fortune from the account, but ironically was horrible in the sack. Elaine only gets 3 subscribers, one of whom is possibly her nephew (who saw her nipple on the Christmas card), and Kramer has to shut down his account because while he made lots of money from gay men, he was catcalled and recognized on the street for it. Freeze frame as he runs from 3 construction workers.

i wonder whatever happened to her

kramer get macbook

>PEOPLE FUCKING IN DIFFERENT WAYS
you know the penis isn't supposed to go in the asshole, right?

>>Kramer takes on Steve Jobs's wardrobe ideals. A single outfit worn every day but he just owns the one set. Over the course of the episode he tears and damages the outfit but is dedicated to the idea.

>>Newman is livestreaming his mail route. You should see his view count, it's astronomical... What do people see in this?

>>George gets the job of his dreams. Pay is ridiculous, he's a manager. People there seem to truly like him. Three weeks in they aquire new office space - in the new World Reade Building. "I quite the first breath I could take after they announced the move Jerry. Things were going too good and the other shoe was bound to drop like building 7 on 9/11."

>>Elaine is working remote but no one ever talks to her on zoom calls. She hires an OnlyFans model with her body type to take her place on a few calls so she can start a vacation early. Kramer sets her up a live deep-fake setup to impose her face on the model's . The model speaks up, gets Elaine promoted and her slightly better body on camera gets her a date with a guy she's had her eye on. "do you think you can just date the guy remotely and facilitate the entire relationship over zoom?" "you know I'm tempted to, my track record IRL isn't amazing, plus we would both have a pretty solid idea of when I'm faking it."

>>bass rift.

Attached: download.png (225x225, 6.8K)