What's next for Simon Cowell?

Hello my fellow humans, how do you do?

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What's wrong with your faaaace

>What's next?
Forever

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insider here. this is not a laughter matter

This is the guy who used to say "You look like a monkey" to people.

What is that body shape?

b*itish genes

I can literally see his penis

Buying a button up shirt

Bongs are the most grim looking ""people"" in Europe, not even close

Kino fuel?

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What a weird cunt, also imagine dating a jew.

36yo boomer here. Be real with me, once you accumulate dadfat it's there for life isn't it? I've been thinking about it and there isn't enough time in my life to undo all the shit I've eaten over the years

no lie i dont like the dude and i think hes mean but it looks like he definitely has a thick dick so good for him

>it's there for life isn't it?
No. You can literally just go work out and eat relatively decent for 1 year and it will be gone. Stop making excuses for yourself.

Not even close, you defeatist. You just need a lifestyle change, but you and I both know you haven't the willpower for it so let's not kid ourselves. It's there for the rest of your life simply because you lack the mental strength to change your daily habits.

does he have cancer or something? why is he turning into a skeleton

I hope it's true for mommyfat
my gf is currently pregnant and her Ds went to Js in the first trimester and now she's getting the preggo belly and it's pure heaven

Death

It's not. My wife is Asian and she went back to skinny in a few weeks. Most Asians do because their diet isn't burgers and pizza

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Very bad gyno surgery, multiple surgeries probably since it keeps coming back. You can see his left nipple is in a massive crater below the pec, and the right one is on a breast that's formed again after the first (or who knows which) surgery.

a talent show where they try to find the worst act in america

No but fix it now. It's only going to get harder.

decent cock though, it's nice to see guys packing instead of being little shrimpdicks

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is this dude like 4 foot tall lmoa why do his head big

>Seriously what the fuck happened to this guy?
Not sure how you didnt hear about it. It was huge news a couple of years ago and it pissed me off that there was so muvh news coverage on him. But basically a couple years ago Simon Cowel had a serious E-bike accident to the point that there was a chance he might not walk again. So pictures you see of him now show he has lost a bunch of weight due to recovering and not living his normal lifestyle.

imagine not being able to express emotion anymore to look "young"

I think the weirdest thing is that he has a 600 million dollar net worth, but his clothes are all weird. He doesn't wear relaxed clothes because he still cares about his appearance, but he also doesn't wear good looking clothes or even clothes that are somewhat fitted.

Why do rich people own such terrible clothes? I'm poor and even I don't own clothes that bad.

He looks more like a reptile than young.

they are on so many drugs they have no idea what the fuck is going on

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Bros those are boochies, boochies make the finest sweatpants you can buy in a mall, a black mans mall.

You know his first appearance after he got mega bogged was right after epsteins death right? Jeffery didnt actually die they just did face replacement like that movie Face Off

imagine being so based you don't give a fuck

looks like his health is declining and he is coping with plastic surgery

>1943
>Be jewish
>Accummulate dad fat
>Get sent to Auschwitz
>Starve there for years
>Finally escape
>Still fat because dad fat never disappears

Lol every year over 45 it gets harder but even in older age its possible to not to be a fat fuck by not eating like you're 20 and exercising like you're a quadriplegic.

I dated a jew once.

I got an autoimmune nerve disease when i was 34 and exercising is 100x harder than it is for a normal person because all my myelin is deteriorating and when i exert, the nerve signals just dissipate and don't make it to their destination... getting old sucks dudes you have no idea

What a shame. Dude used to be fit and attractive. That's what being in Hollywood will do to a person. All that make-up and plastic surgeries will catch up with you

Literally making excuses. Stop being a fat fuck.

youtube.com/watch?v=Slj0qys60FA

Yeah I don't get it, why do celebrities do this to themselves? They shed their fucking humanity, they don't even look younger from it, they just look strange and off-putting. It's not a good trade off, EVER. Just allow yourself to age like a normal human being

>You're never in bad company when ragging on Simon Cowell, but this weekend has seen a Hall Of Fame songwriter, Diane Warren, take a little dig at him too.
>In an interview she recalled the time she sent her song "I Was Here" to Cowell to gauge his interest, before realising it might also be perfect for Beyoncé. So she called Jay-Z and played it for him over the phone. Jay told her to hold on a moment and, within half an hour, Beyoncé was on the line making plans to record it.
>Two days later – having postponed the mastering of her entire album to accommodate this new track – Beyoncé was in the studio with Diane doing take after take (in Diane's words "singing the shit out of it") to try and nail a version she was happy with. She eventually got it, it made the album and Beyoncé went on to perform that same song live at the UN General Assembly.
>A few days after this whirlwind session concluded, Diane received a letter from Simon Cowell. A rejection.

>News broke over the weekend that Simon Cowell has been hired by former label rivals Universal to act as a talent scout for their roster. Reports have all mentioned that Cowell was the multimillionaire tastemaker responsible for breaking such acts as Leona Lewis, One Direction, JLS, Little Mix and other varied X Factor outfits.
>Which is one way of putting it. The other is that he's a format magpie, who nicked the basic concept of The X Factor and then let the British public do the work for him, deciding who they wanted to hear records from. Because what sort of records was Simon Cowell famous for producing when he was an A&R man without a public phone vote to consult?
>Mr Blobby by Mr Blobby
>Teletubbies Say Eh Oh by The Teletubbies
>Them Girls Them Girls by Zig And Zag
>Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly Roll by The Woolpackers

Bro what the fuck is this guy made of?

>some baboons liked it so Simon was wrong

Um, no sweetie

do you have to get your mum to wank you off?

>Sharon Osbourne announced in 2014 that she was done with The X Factor and was heard telling friends in private that Simon Cowell would have to "lick [her] out for three weeks" before she'd ever consider doing another stint on it.
>Simon's a notoriously busy man, but he presumably managed to block the time out somewhere in his schedule as who should make a grand return for the 2016 series? Why, none other than... Sharon Osbourne!