Watching kino with family

>watching movie with or without family
>23 years old
>still skip it
And In private online I'm a major degen. anyway so it's not on principal. I've just been brainwashed by my parents.

>>Dad shouts "BASED"
That would be actually pretty funny.
If I will ever have children, I'll make sure to teach them Yea Forums lingo and internet culture in general. They would be the most based kids in school

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>Watching kino with family
>Rape scene comes on
>Cover my eyes, whisper under my breath: "Zoo-Wee Mama!
>Suddenly the sound in the movie stops
>Look up and see that my parents and sister are staring at me
>Turn back to the film to find that the characters therein have stopped mid-rape, stood up, and are staring at me too
>Female rape victim clears her throat, points to my Mom who is now standing behind me
>Mom looks down at me and spits on the back of my neck
>I turn to sister, who shakes her head in disgust
>Dad says, "what the FUCK is your problem son?"
>Rapist on TV crosses his arms, shouting, "lets see how he likes it!"
>Feel a blunt object strike my head and blood pouring down side of my face.
>Vision blurs as I stumble up from my seat and collapse unconscious
>Wake up in backyard, completely nude
>Stumble inside, find house is empty and has been for years

This is why I avoid movie nights with the senpai.

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>watching kino with family
>oh great, it's cuties on netflix. again
>but dad, I don't wanna share the couch with you

fuckin hate when this happens to me

What happens if the lingo changes, and the consequences aren’t the same? Macros change all the time, friendo.

>They should get that checked
I'll get right on it ;)

>watching kino by myself
>Sex scene comes on
>I yell "I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING!"
>I giggle
>I shout "BASED"
>I playfully punch my arm and smirk

I'll teach them everything up the current point in time. It's not like I will ever stop using Yea Forums.
After I've taught them everything I know, they will be ready to start their own Yea Forums adventure, while I nod contently with a smirk and my arms crossed, while my kids start browsing different boards, shitpost, bump their bait threads, laughing and just having fun

>be kid with family watching Friday the 13th part whatever
>Jason grabs someone in their sleeping bag and bashes it against a tree
>sex scene comes up
>mom grabs a blanket and holds it in front of the tv

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>watching flick with family
>sex scene comes on
>little sister starts licking my ear

kek, reminds me of watching some gory horror movie at a friend's house when we were kids and the mom making us turn it off when a character ended up half naked.

>watching tv with my mom as a kid
>somehow we start watching "being John Malcovitch"
>holy shit this fucking kino
>the one sex scene comes on and mom quickly changes the channel
>wtf I was watching that
>haven't been able to see the rest of the movie until years later

OH LAWD I WEAK

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ahh that church basement on a Friday night during Lent smell

Explain The Room then.

>watching flick with family
>sex scene comes out
>we all get horny and have an orgy

Wtf just happened there, user?

>sex scene comes on during family movie night
>10 yr old sister starts doing ahaego faces and pulling on her choker

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>having sex with family
>plane scene comes on
>I yell "YOU'RE A BIG GUY"
>Mom giggles
>Dad shouts "FOR YOU"
>Younger sister playfully punches my asshole and my rectum prolapses

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Based incest haver

Eyes wide shut

>166413943
>watching kino with family
>sex scene comes on
>mom yells "user, cover your eyes!"
>I'm 35 years old

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>little cousin comes over to play
>start watching a movie
>sex scene comes on
>mom says to keep the door open

What the actual fuck

>watching I spit on your grave with family
>rape scene comes on
> I shout “I’ll have what she’s having”
>dad punches me in the face, pushes me to the ground and begins to rape me
>mum cracks out the banjo and starts playing gooba peas
>sister starts knee slapping

Feelsbadman
>

Im giving you my favorite post of the day award

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OP didn't even write this post. This is an old copypasta.

>mom and sister puff up
Like the fish?

happens all the time

>watching kino with family
>sex scene comes on
>brother immediately starts staring at me obsessively, trying to analyze my reactions

>2nd generation shitposters
Too based

name one (1) movie

>watching kino with family
>Sex scene comes on
>I rock my wife with a titanic left hook out of nowhere. Bloody chiclets fly across the room.
>I scream ”I’M CHEESED TO MEAT YOU!”
>I see my Dad draw his gun
>I draw my katana
>The muzzle flash reflects off of the Hanzo steel
>His bullets penetrate my chest as my sword pierces his stomach
>We look into each others eyes one last time
>”Bang”
>My wife bleeding profusely from the mouth gets on her knees and slides our dogs penis into her hot wet pussy
>My mom goes to heat up a hot pocket

>Decide to pirate new coomer movie so family won't see it as 'viewed' on the streaming service
>Browse through the service a few months later
>My dad's watched it on his account
ONE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

Unironically why do moms do this? I'm literally chilling with my cousins watching Lion King and listening to them screech about how much they love Pumba and Timone.

I love it when your sister does that.

Your moms

every damn time...

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Fake

You're right my mom made bagle bites.

she did you a favour honestly, the malkovich sex scene would probably have given you all kinds of weird fetishes

Handmaiden

>Mom tries to make Bagel Bites in microwave instead of oven

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>"Moommmm, shut your legs or open a window, Jesus Christ!!"
>Dad high fives you and says "my nigga"

implied sex is better. like in Chinatown.

will this happen to me if I do it too?

kek

>not using a toaster oven.

Yeah good thing THAT never happened to me haha

Oh noes a sex scene

oeehh
*slurp*

>watching chick flick with family
>sex scene comes on
>feel an emotional shift in the room
>look towards dad who is now shaking and beet red
>"FUCKING WHORE FUCKING WHORE FUCKING WHORE"
>mom and sister immediately scared and slink away to the corner of the room
>I get into the rhythm as well, it feels natural
>"FUCKING WHORE FUCKING WHORE FUCKING WHORE"
>continuously screeching, sweating, with massive globs of spit leaving our faces with every shriek
>sex scene ends
>emotions die down as we stop screaming
>"Whew that was a little raunchy now wasn't it gang?"

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