You time travel back to 886 AD with a 4K television set and are tasked with entertaining King Alfred the Great. If he enjoys himself, he recruits you to his court and you will live long and happy medieval life. If he doesn't, you are publicly executed. You have access to all modern day media. What kino do you introduce him to?
You time travel back to 886 AD with a 4K television set and are tasked with entertaining King Alfred the Great...
Charles Foster
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Juan Lewis
Oliver Wright
Sneed, sire.
Hudson Hughes
BET
Zachary Martin
>You time travel back to 886 AD with a 4K television set
Ok, how the fuck do i turn it on.
Zachary Moore
No such thing as a happy life if you travel that far back in time. Imagine having to explain modern inventions to these people.
Benjamin Cox
I bring a phone instead and record every black person I could find
Then I show it to the masses and makes chuds seethe. Yes, brits were BLACK. deal with it.
Jason Moore
He defending England from invading Vikings and pagans his entire reign and is noted by historians as the only reason the Anglo-Saxon culture remains in England and wasn't completely replaced by the Norse. He hates this flick, assumes you are a Danelaw spy and executes you on the spot.
Dylan Green
They also include a diesel generator with a full tank of fuel.
Jeremiah Gonzalez
I bring my modded PSP instead and show him my NaughtyAmerica collection.
Camden Sanders
As a historically known serial cheater and rumoured sex addict, he loves it
Cameron Campbell
show him Alfred the Great lol
Isaac Richardson
How long exactly is a long and happy medieval life?
Jace Hill
>why yes I did watch a 1 hour video on Youtube about Alfred The Great and Viking Age England. I'm quite the expert now.
Carter Sanders
Not much worse estimate than today assuming you dont die during infancy
Colton Carter
a documentary about william the conqueror which he subsequently prepares the country for and eradicates all norman fucking shits
Julian Garcia
Cannonball Run 2
Cameron Perez
Quest for Fire
Ben-Hur
Ivanhoe (1997)
Apocalypto
Il Mestiere Delle Armi
Last of the Mohicans
Master and Commander
Zulu
Little Big Man
The African Queen
Tora Tora Tora
Cannibal Holocaust
The Hunt for Red October
Apollo 13
2001: A Space Odyssey
Jace Gonzalez
11 years before you die of a easily cureable disease. You eat nothing but onion soup and burnt meat with no seasonings the entire time. You do however get to fuck as many Anglo peasant women (or men) as you want.
Gavin Gutierrez
Robin Hood (1991)
Julian Hughes
Based
Henry White
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Johnny English
Robocop
Isaiah Richardson
You mean we could have been vikangz if it wasn't for this nigga?
Liam Hughes
>Why yes your majesty, I will show you my "kinos". But first I want to become Lord of Bebbaboddabingburg.
Michael Walker
Danish fucking shits.
Benjamin Long
I present you; the lands on the other side of the sea.
Camden Anderson
Henry is of Scottish, Irish and English stock. Disingenuous image.
Easton Lopez
I stopped watching when the guy said that he was against slavers. What a bunch of retarded bullshit.
Jose Walker
Snatch, every man likes Snatch.
Aiden Wood
user, does this imply that you are supportive of Slavery?
Ryan Lopez
Considering anglos displaced the native Britons, he's not much better
Landon Cook
Funny animal videos.
Transcends time.
Christopher Diaz
It's a 6-7/10 but it would be a 10/10 if you never saw a movie before.
Isaac Collins
I show him King Arthur (2004) and await his reaction
Charles Bailey
I'd show him Attenborough and french nature documentaries
Thomas Cook
>not Robin Hood (2018)
Coward.
Dylan Ross
Pretty much anything. He'd be dumbstruck about any moving images coming through a flat screen.
Wyatt Wood
1959 Ben-Hur
>Is kino.
>Is about something which is not beyond his understanding / frame of reference.
>Even if he does not understand what is being said, he will likely be impressed by the visuals.
>Will probably like and be moved by the Jesus parts.
Jordan Thompson
No, but the vikings were extremely vicious slavers.
Daniel Collins
>He has you flayed and burned alive as he thinks you must be a demon because of the generator sounds
Brayden Flores
Not really. He’s fighting for a foreign jewish desert religion against the worshippers of the indigenous religion. Plenty of anglos fought for the Danes and Norse and once baptised plenty of Dane’s and Norse fought for the vegetarian cuck.
Charles Ortiz
I have a feeling Alfred would hate me for being Danish but then again the Anglo-Saxons originated in Denmark..
Charles Russell
The Lord of the Rings, the full trilogy, extended cut, of course.
Andrew Walker
im not traveling back in time unless i have tons of weapons
Brayden Richardson
Star Wars or some capeshit. Because he speaks Old English he won't understand anything anyways, so at least he'll be entertained by explosions and cool sword fights.
Parker Cox
Do you not?
Luke Russell
I'm not entertaining him, I'll bring the news station so he can see how niggers have overrun his home Huis
Xavier Evans
The scots are responsible for the industrial world
the french are responsible for devising a sauce that can adequately hide the taste of rotten pidgeon
Joshua Perry
The Last Kinodom
Dominic Bell
I would show him this
Eli Morgan
There's literally only one answer
Josiah Richardson
would show him The Passion of the Christ and blow his fucking mind
Ryder Wright
not much. but you do get to smash some cunny before you die though.
Caleb Young
Would show him that this is what his beloved England becomes, leading him to leave it for the Danes, and by extension leading the yanks to be colonised by the French. Enjoy the frog legs my yankee pig dogs
Angel Barnes
Ben Hur, ten commandments, fall of the Roman empire,
Henry Brooks
Buster Keaton.
Austin Rivera
>who invaded england in 1066 AD?
Jacob Thompson
I'd get him anything by bang bros, I'd get my cock out and show him how we modern men satiety our needs without the need of a weak-minded creature by our side.
Gavin Price
This, he wouldn't understand a word of what you or anyone in any movie is saying anyway. Make sure to throw in some funny animals from distant lands that he's never seen or heard of, he will both be amazed and laugh his ass off.
Matthew Nguyen
False. The English of that time hasn’t changed radically, which is why the first words on the moon would be understood by king Alfred.
Carter Foster
cope!
Carson Ward
Here is a sample text of literally the English dialect that Alfred the Great spoke, written in his lifetime. And it's not just that they spelled things differently, Old English had a complex grammar that has been lost over time, not to mention the various vowel shifts that would have made the pronunciation much different.
Brayden Reed
So many words are Romance now. Like mountain was 'berg' in Old English like in other Germanic languages but now it's like montagne in French and montana in Spanish
Isaiah Cox
Does it work even without electriticy?
Asher Watson
I could take him
Joseph Murphy
kiss its neck
Isaac Gutierrez
>the industrial world
Wtf, I hate Scots now
Isaiah Howard
>peasant women
>smelly
>ugly
>hairy
Pass
William Rodriguez
I let my wife hear Sumer Is Icumen In and she freaked out, said it sounded like a curse
Evan Johnson
make some bagdad batteries, tvs don't draw a lot of power these days
Jordan Flores
Dumb bitch, you should beat her
Justin Foster
Cope. Now post it with the modern alphabet or someone reading it. As I said, he would have understood “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”.
For anyone who wants a comfy history kino try Michael Wood's Story of England. The original not the us recut
Julian Hill
Mr. Bean
Xavier Bell
>If he enjoys himself, he recruits you to his court and you will live long and happy medieval life.
I don't want to live in any era where women aren't shaven and hygiene doen't exist.
Jaxon Bailey
Soap has existed for 4 millenia now
Jacob Evans
> extended cut, of course.
he would immediately be outraged by the warcrime scene and have you thrown away. decorum was a bigger deal back then
Juan Clark
people have always washed themselves and hairy pussies are the best
Adam Sanchez
Nah man you have to get to Chaucer in the 14th century to get something approaching intelligibility with modern English once written in modern spellings.
Here's some 11th century English
youtube.com