*leans back*

That's why I only recommend online tournaments (as the blinds and antes increase, punishing Nits) and live poker.

Matt Damon makes my dick feel funny.

dude, the variance in online tournaments is so crazy that you can be one of the best tournie players in world and never hit a big win for years. You can make it to the final table but it's all about reaching the top three because that's where the big payouts are.

Okay... then go to a casino and play. I've already explained why cash games are unbeatable. You'll just be praying that there's a bad player because everyone else knows what they're doing.

Basically, the number 1 factor to being a winning poker player is being able to find people worse than you and that's much harder online.

I'm mostly without emotion unless I'm faking it anyway so poker is perfect for me

I don't think I could play poker, I'd rage too much at bullshit odds, like that dude that with pocket Q's that lost to pocket 9s

the worst part is dipshits all inning on nothing and they win off the river

that's the cold hard truth; pro-poker players are all predators.

I remember railing the nosebleeds on fulltilt and pokerstars, all these legendary, world-class players would always sit out and only start playing when some rich business man would sit There was some rich retard who owned a British soccer club, he'd literally spew off 100s of thousands of dollars and as soon as he was broke, all the good players would immediately, and I mean immediately sit out. As soon as his stack was 0, they'd sit out the next hand. It's kind of shameless when you think about it

>pro-poker players are all predators.
>It's kind of shameless when you think about it

Eh, you can't become rich without being a predator. I try to be a good person and I'm also dirt poor so that's how useful that is.

Daniel Negreanu is the opposite. He always talks cheerfully, but is observing other player's reactions to his motor mouth.

I think Negreanu is smarter than he appears too. I bet he talks so that he can see whether a person is annoyed or indifferent to his chatter. If they're annoyed then it's likely their hand is bad and they're annoyed that they have to wait with a shit hand. Because Poker always has the luck element, pros have to do that kind of stuff to get any edge they can.

>leans back
>crosses arms
>stares down at the table
>frowns
>shakes head slightly
>sighs

i check

>

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That's why I only play in a casino once every few months or so. It can be fun, and I'm pretty good at it, but luck factors so much in that it's just not worth losing money over

>mfw anyone tries to explain how to play poker

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reminder phil hellmuth is literally Yea Forums the poker player

Hellmuth is a fag, lol. He would completely understand why someone would lie to win a hand if he wasn't rich but the money doesn't matter to him, which is why he cries about shit like this.

It's pretty easy, dumb frogposter. You get two cards and then 5 cards are put in the middle 3+1+1(with rounds of betting). Your hand is the best 5 cards from the 7 that are visible (yours+the ones in the middle). You can find a list of hand rankings online to see what makes what.

I should add that if you want to learn Poker then you can just install PokerStars and play for free. It doesn't even cost money. There's no better way to learn than playing.

How do cash games at casinos work?

You buy chips at the counter with cash or card and then you take your chips to a table and play poker. They usually tell you which table to go to based on what stakes you want to play.

>WAHH WAHH

and assuming you don't lose all your chips, you take the chips back to the counter when you want to cash out and get the money equivalent of your chips.

Is there a set amount of hands you have to play, or is it a come-and-go situation. Like if you win a huge pot first hand can you just up and leave with all of your chips?

one of the bravest moves in the cinematic universe.

No, you can literally leave if you double your money on the first hand. Everyone you're playing with is a stranger so there's no rule or etiquette where you have to stay.

classic

>so there's no rule or etiquette
leaving the table as soon as you win a big hand is called a 'hit and run'. It's allowed but it's considered a shitty thing to do by most players and personally used to trigger the fuck out of me when bad players would do it

>eyes pop out of head
>tongue rolls out of mouth and onto table
>pound fist on table
I check

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Was it like that? I'm just giving my opinion based on the image, lol.

it was kino
youtu.be/FnPurYEhPzA

Based. I was wondering that because I've seen videos of people filming their casino games and seen people have tiny stacks of chips where they were basically forced to go all in or fold if they got raised regardless of how they felt about their hand (which seems like an obviously bad situation to play in) so I was thinking they weren't allowed to leave yet for some reason.

>I was thinking they weren't allowed to leave yet for some reason.

Nope. What you're seeing there is being who think they can make back the money they lost and most of the time they just lose the rest because people play worse when they're losing (due to being upset).

people who think they can*

i mean, yeah... that's what Rounders teaches us.

That's pretty hilarious. The guy he's against has top pair and still checks behind. It's possible that everyone knows Matt Damon is a nit and so it didn't matter how he appeared during the hand. The fact that Damon called in that spot is probably why the guy checked at the end.

>used to trigger the fuck out of me when bad players would do it
cope retard

>i just completely miss the point of every matt damon poker thread

beware of that guy who calls himself PocketAces

they'd inevitably come back a few days later though thinking they were king shit and donk off their winnings. What are they gonna do, stop playing forever?

they're are 2 types of games
cash game: the chips have real money value and the blinds don't change
tournaments: played until only one is left and the blind increase at set intervals

youtu.be/kKQfNbNmX9o
wtf I love poker now?

>but luck factors so much
not as much as you're implying

Lul. I'm the guy asking about cash games and this video is what piqued my interest in poker.

Online poker is beatable but you do have to be super autistic.

Two pair isn't much really.

Damon flopped a full house which has everyone else drawing dead, retard.

>Online poker is beatable but you do have to be super autistic.

Correct. You can actually beat Nits but you'll have to out-ABC them with a counter strategy. For example, if someone loves to fold then just raise them whenever you can and they'll fold unless they have a good hand. You should always raise the same amount and the raise should be the minimum it takes to get them to fold so that when they eventually reraise, you won't lose a lot.
See how confusing all this shit would be to a new player? That's why I say don't even play online cash and go play in a casino because most players are bad there.

is the ABC thing true at all blinds levels though? seems like it might vary as you change tiers. I'm not a super serious player and haven't gone above 1/2, so I don't really know how things are past that.

GOAT poker clip

i love how you can see the table shake

Can someone link the hellmuth "this is not just poker it's my fucking life man" clip

WE GAAAAN

In my honest opinion, the ABC is true of every online table that doesn't have antes. Antes are the only time you can't ABC because if you do nothing but wait for a good hand then you just lose all your money while waiting. That's why ABC only works during cash games with no ante. Doesn't even work during a tournament because the blinds go up.

>ejector seat
>3... 2... 1... blast off
lmao