The great debate

Alternate between the 2 till failure or clean ass.

I used to stand, and then I realized what a degenerate animal I was, so I converted and now I sit.

Functionally I still believe that standing makes more sense, but socially I feel much safer now.

i sit but wipe from the front while cupping my dick and balls up with 1 hand and use wet wipes because TP is barbaric and doesn't clean properly

Stand and bend over is superior to all.

I sit for the first wipe, then standing to inspect each wipe until clean

Whipe? That's what taking a shower is for. Stop wasting toilet paper.

I stand up and then squat on the floor to give my legs a break from squatting on the toilet seat.
Yes, I squat on the toilet to shit, fuck sitting on a cold ass toilet seat.

So then what is toilet paper for?

Why all those steps? Just get in the shower and go to town.

>fuck a black chick
>hop in shower
>weird cloth with brown stains on it
>figure it's from her makeup or whatever, wipe myself all over with it
>"don't tell me you used my ass cloth to clean your whole damn self"
Wtf?? Why do they do this? Why do they have separate ass cloths?

I dont have time to take a shower everytime I shit (which happens like 2 or 3 times a day)

Blowing your nose

Treat it like a paint brush and consider the walls your canvas

If your poor, sure. But real people use Kleenex for that.

Eat more fiber and drink a strong cup of coffee in the morning. You should only be shitting once a day max. Personally I only shit once every three days.

after years of this argument I have determined the following

>anons with single mothers
sit to wipe, they copied their moms peeing and wiping in young childhood

>anons with 2 parents
stand to wipe, parents would hold them up to wipe

It's called discipline young blood. Wouldn't expect a retarded zoomer to understand tradition.

you should be glad she's thorough, since you had your nose up in there and all

Interesting theory.

That's a waste of Kleenex

As an incel it seems inconceivable to me that hot women have to wipe reeking shit from their delicious looking asses.

Wtf is that all about

Women wipe while sitting down

I was raised by a single mom and i’ve always wiped standing

wait till you hear what comes out the front end

standing but with a raging erection

Just recently i went without shitting for a week because i was on holiday, i have some inconvenient eccentricities but my body not needing to shit even after a week of shitty eating i view as more than making up for it.
Wasn't even a massive shit either, had to force it out and was hard but not overly big, feel bad for people that shit multiple times a day and think it's normal.

Irrelevant, I use a bidet toilet like any civilized man should and literally 1 clean confirmation wipe is all I need, maybe 2. Enjoy tearing your asshole apart.

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Got a bidet and kind of got addicted to anal stimulation. Broke down and ordered a prostate massager.

I was raised to stand.
When I discovered wiping while sitting down, my life took a turn for the better.
I have never admitted that. Thanks Yea Forums, for creating a safe space for us weirdos.

>Eat more fiber
This shit has never helped me ever. I have diarrhea frequently but it's because of mental reasons, I suffer a lot of anxiety

Start off sitting then give it a final couple wipes when you stand. That's the way

>I sit for the first wipe, then standing to inspect each wipe until clean
i do the same, but when i'm home i'll place one foot on the tub and do a captain morgan stance as a wipe

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Why would you stand up?
Is it american thing?

I do that when I brush mt teeth

Standing up literally goes against human physiology. It causes the assholes to close up, it's part of the reason we squat to shit instead of just standing to shit. You'll end up with a clean asshole when standing up, but once you sit down again you'll be back to the dirty asshole being more relaxed and "open". It's the leading cause of skidmarks.

I bet you dirty fuckers don't wipe both ways either.

I actually squat on my toilets. You can't do it if you're too heavy of course.

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Women should only wipe front to back.

>squatting on a porcelain toilet
ISHYGDDT... People DIE doing that. They're not made to take anywhere near the weight of even a small human at the small points where it's focused if you're squatting on the rim, causing stress fractures that then break and cause you to fall onto razor-sharp ceramic shards that'll eviscerate you and cause you to bleed out in minutes.

Get a squatty potty or get a toilet designed for squatting.

>2022
>still wiping
ngmi

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Yes and it's hot

I squat on the floor to shit and wipe and then use that piece of toilet paper to life the turd into the bowl.

Both ways? Why would I wipe towards my balls, you freak?

Masterrace - i squat next to the toilet and clean it with paper, then i wash it with water and soap in the bidet.

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you don't stand to attention, you et up so your arm has more leverage and not touching the toilet seat

you are squatting forward, you are not clenching your ass together in anyway

there is no way sitting is giving you full motion of your hand

This

Give it a try, user. Wipe front to back until it's clean. Then try the other direction. You'll find there's still shit to be found. You just need the manual dexterity to stop at the asshole and not smear it all over yourself. Surely you don't smear shit into your coccyx?

You're describing the sitting/squatting position, not the standing position that some people have.

>there are people who think standing means you stand completely up and clench your ass cheeks together

Yikes

Stand to poop, sit to wipe

I stand and then place my leg on the wall to really stretch out my cheeks as I wipe.

Only if you're fat.
You're not fat, are you user?

I currently have gastroenteritis so if I stand I'll have shit all over my legs

Why do white people use their ass cloth for everything?

anons i can't shit properly, it's always really loose and i usually have to wipe whole chunks out of my ass because the asshole muscles just can't push since it's so loose
this has started since about 2 years ago, no diet changes or anything weird, why is this happening?

also i sit

Bags of sand?

Even being at a 90 degree angle with your legs(typical toilet angle) makes your asshole close up. There's a reason why it's easier to shit while squatting and why medical exams have you squat. It's not about clenching cheeks together, it's about the asshole itself.

In what way?

Rectal cancer, should have gone to the doctor two years ago. RIP.

Im the only one who cleans from the front while sitting?
I know i can get piss in my forearm so i just clean it later.

are you serious? but i'm only 22?

qrd on washcloths?
I have a sponge that I use for when I shower

some people not only stand, but they wipe backwards not forward
sickening

Eat fiber-supplement. 3 scoops morning and 3 scoops evening.
>why is this happening?
because you're getting old.

I used to wipe towards the back but it made my second asshole red and itchy.

>having to shit in a colostomy bag before you're 25, IF the rectal cancer hasn't already spread
Bad luck, bro.

CIUJ

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>wipe two or three times to get most of the disgusting shit
>get in shower
>wash ass
Don't be an animal, you got running water.

Jesus Christ eat a vegetable sometime fatso.

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Do Americans really

but i'm only 22

checked
you're scaring me user, i'm making a doctors appointment