Jim: So user, I heard someone put your keys in jello again? *snickers*

>hide crack in his desk

>i wonder if they would've cared if dwight started openly sobbing
Depends on the circumstances. There was an older guy, late-40s, that I worked with back in the early 2010s. The department we were in was restructured and new management was assigned. The new manager hated the older guy and fucked with him in every legitimate corporate manner. The guy had a full mental breakdown after a performance review where the manager pretty much told him that he'll be fired. Full scream sobbing and just animalistic emotions of sadness.

what happened next, he just got fired?

he should've just kill his boss instead

Why can't we be more like the east and bring back revenge killings?

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>expecting Toby to do literally anything

I got a friend down at the local PP who I used to go to school with, so I'll just give the dude his license plate number and after about a week I don't think Jim is gonna be into pranks anymore...

Security came and escorted Richard out of the building. He was placed on "personal leave" by HR and never returned to the office. I wasn't friends or "work buddies" with him so lost complete contact. So many years have passed that I have no contact with any of my then-colleagues who might know whatever had happened. Hopefully, Richard is living life well as he wasn't a bad guy.
Honestly? I would have been fine to see Kurt receive a punch to the face or outright murdered. That faggot had no business running our department and made things worse. He was only around for less than a year due to his inability to improve anything. Our department had to be restructured again after his reassignment. I resigned a few months after that as the new-new manager was just as bad. She was hired from outside the corporation and had a chip on her shoulder since the department was almost all men.

>itd be a shame if your stapler ended up in jello next week Jim :^)

>*drops the plate on his desk*
>get my keys out of the jello Jim
>'how do you know I did it, could've been anybody'
>*stare a hole through the back of head*
>get my fucking keys, out of the fucking jello Jim
>*he looks at the camera wide eyed and gives me my keys*
He's just one of those guys that's never had his ass kicked. I've also never worked in an office environment so I'd probably get written up like Andy did. Hmm...

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This is implying im a giant fucking sperg like dwight :/

HR will get rid of the troublemaker which 95% of the time they usually determine is the bitch who is doing the complaining. I once had a complaint made on me dead to rights an I was certainly not liked by management, they turned on the girl complaining. They got me a few years later on some bullshit though.

what do you do when youre perpetually surrounded by faggots like these?
like even family
so far i've tried not talking to them at all it doesn't work that well

Dont get sad, get even :)

-Sent from my iPhone

This but unironically and without the larp part

I am going to skin you alive and drive your carcass 50 miles down a dirt road and leave it for the buzzards.

I don't need this shit.
I'm on parole.

I'm going to fuck Jims ass and make you watch.
>what did i do?
You laughed.

>Kurt
definitely deserves the murder

>Leave remote control vibrator in Jims desk
>Wait till hes flirting with Pam

Hey Jim, you must have a phone call or somethin- WHOA! Look at the size of that thing! Holy shit Jim, I didn't even think a guy your size could handle something that big!

Geez, Jim, whats with all the gay porn in your browser history? and in your search engine tab? Very inappropriate..

>>*stare a hole through the back of head*
oh no, how will he ever survive someone staring at him?

I'd whoop your autistic ass and so would goofy-ass Jim

>Put out ad for stormfront to assassinate a high profile government official
>Keeps getting calls on his answering machine from neo-nazis and soldiers of fortune

Dwight told HR on a daily basis, he just made a file of written reports and left it under his desk. He didn't do shit with all of the crap Jim pulled.

just slash his fucking tires and pour sugar down his gas tank.

>"Hey Jim, read your ad, too hot for me brother, but I admire the pair of balls you got on you. WHITE POWER!"

Fact: Pam is a used up slut, you are merely picking up the scraps.
Fact: You are a passionless bored loser who thinks he is above everyone when you are really just as much of a loser as any other person in this office sans me or Michael.
Fact: You have spent an inordinate amount of on pranking me, have you ever considered all that time spent encasing my tools in jello or setting up elaborate wild schemes is wasted and gone, never to be seen again?
Fact: I’m just better than you so *giggles* yourself.

Average /pol/tard

How is this a larp? I was poking this bitch who I thought was my friend in the ribs whenever I walked past including one time in front of the head of department who I had made homophobic remarks in front of when he first started but hadn't come out yet. I was fucking dead in the water but they just told me never to do it again and documented the process. Bitch was actually surprised when I no longer talked to her.

Hi Packer

You've never had someone say they're ready to throw down with their eyes? Nah, you haven't been in many scraps. You don't know what it's like to lay into some cunt have them tank every swing you throw and have them fucking smile at you before seeing stars.

relax bro

maybe just leave a big, steaming turd on his desk.

not really a prank, more of an homage.

or maybe just hit him in the back of the head with a shovel and bury him in the office foyer.

lmao these fantasies

I do this as a community service. Practical jokes are the lowest form of humor.

Yeah I'm drunk and angry. I haven't had a good fight in like two years. I miss it. I should probably just join a kickboxing gym and munch on some tasty humble pie.

Do you think Jim could harness enough tard strength to break duct tape and zip ties if you followed him and Pam home one night and violently raped her while you made him watch?

So Jenna you’re still doing that awful podcast?

You should probably reevaluate your life if your making drunk tough guy rants on a anonymous twainese basket weaving forum.

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Dissociate with them. I’ve been around people like this and they’re unbearable, although they never bothered me but I asked to be moved cuz they just wouldn’t shut the fuck up

>contact corporate
>our HR guy is worthless
>these are my sales numbers (Dwight was actually good)
>they could be X% better if Jim wasn't fucking with me all the time
>list of documented incidents
>Please take care of these parasites Toby and Jim

>*jim comes back from lunch and wakes up his pc
>”what in holy fuck is this Dwight?”
>”woah calm down Jim what is it? Oh geez *smirks at camera* didn’t know you were into lolis Jim”

thats not funny bro, its just creepy.
raping jim and making HER watch, now thats funny.

why get him fired when you can make his life hell?

Do you have autism or why do you spam this every few hours?

presumably you were on the receiving end

at least jim cried when dwight beat him at his own game

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>sprinkles pubes on his tuna sandwich

>Hey Jim, I accidently CC'd that video of your widowed mothers bachelorette party getting jiggy with that stripper
>BTW why'd you send me that? Weird thing to keep in your inbox.

u mad bro? More of a fan of the James Spader season?

I'm having fun, that's all that matters
Impersonate me again and I'll do a tap dance on your skull

it does happen occasionally. My old boss had someone giver actual dogshit for the secret santa. She was an absolute cunt so it was not a mystery why.