Any personal examples of this?
Farted in the elevator once
I touched myself the other day
Got a British girl drunk at the bar that was visiting, fucked her when she was awake then after she was passed out I fucked her ass and after I saw she got shit on my dick I took a shit in her purse after I stole all her money and put her in a taxi. Still wonder what that bong slut thought when she opened her purse.
Ive never really gotten away with anything. Other than when I used to be a Walmart security guard, I broke the rules constantly and would chase people far from the store. Nobody really cared because I caught dozens of people stealing
When did the feds start caring about Yea Forums?
Why didn't you use a condom? That's fucking disgusting
When did you stop taking your meds, tourist?
>other day turned on my tv and didn't realise it was connected to my surround speakers.
>they'd gotten to full volume because some shit was resting on the remote somehow
>random ass european b movie with two people fucking aggressively comes on
>it's 6am
>don't know how to defend this to my neighbours or family so I just start yelling over it "AHHHH" like
I was drunk. I fuck lots of women without condoms when I'm drunk. Only had chlamydia three times and that was when I was in law school so I think I'm doing pretty good.
Lmfao without fail every single time I call out a fed it's ">meds!" with no variance in response whatsoever
Do you guys share a script or something?
I covered up many child rapes as an archbishop
Fucked a hooker and then took off without paying her. (she didnt deserve it)
What did she do? Yell at you or anything?
at least he didn't cry about /pol/
I went to saudi arabia with my family, after a few days we just made a few friends there, me and my cousins went to some parties
in one of them, we made one cute arabic grill to say dumb shit about her vegana in my language
i posted the video on youtube
the video went viral in my country
next day i woke up with half a dozen security guards ready to talk with me
turns out the girl was a daughter of someone important
i called my dad and he tried to get me out of the hotel
i made a video apologizing, but they didnt care
after 3 days completely locked into the hotel, my dad managed to pay a private airplane to take me out of that shitty ass place
yeah, it was close but no cigar for them
To be specific I mean did she yell at you when she realised you weren't going to pay her
>security guard, I broke the rules
i've been a guard for 5 years. no one ever watches me. i have zero supervision. why wouldn't i break the rules.
that stinky transient who keeps trying to sleep on the property? he's getting a bottle of yellow mustard dumped on his face. who'll ever know it was me?
>I fucked her ass and after I saw she got shit on my dick
>Only had chlamydia three times
Kill yourself, insane degenerate subhuman
1. couldnt get me off
2. tried to keep me in her locked car
3. everything about her body was plastic, even her iris
I literally jsut jerked off in her mouth (which she somehow wasnt ready for) and used her "where should I spit this out while in my car" to unlock and run for it.
I lost my favorite belt in that car. so there was no yelling.
might have started between the baneposter crashing a passenger jet into a mountain and heat legend poster shooting up a movie theater
Based, also she's definitely a shitty whore for not even swallowing your nut
You were in her car? After playing gta, I thought it was the other way
i was a tourist in Las Vegas and said I wouldnt take her to my hotel.
smart, thats how they get marks and tourists
>going the extra mile to harass people for some corporation that doesn't care about you whatsoever
Fuck off. I'm parking and taking a nap or reading a book on company time. If the homeless want to sleep there or some nog is up to no good in the neighbourhood, so be it. Write it off on insurance. Fuck corpos.
Not him, but what do you mean exactly
that he was smart for avoiding the scam
a walmart security guy cut me off in the parking lot and i came very close to shooting him in the head. i wouldve literally ended his life and figuratively my own just because i was in the fucking parking lot of walmart, not even in the store. why is the energy so evil there? also why did you give a fuck if people were stealing? was it just for sport?
Seriously faggot take your meds or get on meds. You are a legit schizo.
Cry more reddit9k permavirgin. You don't even exist to me. Sorry for shitting in your mom's purse. I'm not sorry.
Every action has a reaction
bitches usually turn tricks by going for tourist and finding their hotel/where they stay
then she tells her gang/pimp/partner whatever
then they loiter near/around the place to try and get the guy into gambling, credit, point him into rigged casinos or the "im out of gas" scams
usually they do this by operating a taxi and waiting for the marks
>don't know how to defend this to my neighbours or family so I just start yelling over it "AHHHH" like
Why did you think this made it any better
Killed a man in the 90s. Was an accident but he had it coming so I'm not losing any sleep.
did he jaywalk or something?
>Still wonder what that bong slut thought when she opened her purse
She thought "I am imaginary"
Worse, on his 18th birthday he had sex with his 17 year 11 month and 364 day old girlfriend.
Fucking pedo is probably roasting in hell as we type.
Yeah? Link to the video then larper.
Thats fucked up, one time on holiday I did consider getting a whore but decided not to, probably for the better I didn't.
I was talking about the whore I fucked, not every girlfriend you've ever had.
Yes. And you will never know what it was.
You drowned a horse?
How big was it?
I bet you actually take some meds IRL and it makes you insecure.
Sounds tough.
>I placed rodent repellent in a colleague's drink over a course of 5 days. It was in powder form, and I would sprinkle it into his bottle before lunch. He took a long leave of absence. I knew why of course. For clarity, he was a bully and paid the price. I was only 16.
You need to take some meds irl. Sounds tough.
kek btfo
Cope degenerate faggot
literally me but we had a massive home theatre and huge speakers, and when i turned on the tv at 3 am queer eye for the straight guy started blaring of a dude fucking another dude on a couch. the "FUCK ME HARDER STEVE" was permanently burned into my brain
Basically my whole life is a lie and I've gotten away with it. I didn't really work for 2 years before they caught on and do that regularly.
I stole from the school bake sale that was supposed to fund our field trip. The profits were still high enough so we went on the field trip.
No I always get fucked even for things I didn't do.
holy shit are you me? i've been selling coom and plasma for the last 3 years while maintaining a facade of employment
You first.
I remember the exact opposite, being punished for making the wrong decisions, not morally wrong, trusting the wrong people kind of wrong, and my parents always going "that's the way things are"
i stole money off a teacher's desk in high school, some random black kid in my class got blamed for it because in the surveillance footage it apparently looked like he did it because he was in the area and nobody noticed me swipe that shit. he ended up getting suspended and kicked off the basketball team and losing his scholarship, and only barely managed to dodge expulsion
the kicker? i routinely bring this incident up when talking to my colleagues about "institutional racism" and how an innocent black boy who dindu nuffin got his life ruined because of his skin color. i just omit the part where it's actually my fault
I held hands with a girl once
By gad, sir, you're a chap worth knowing. An amazing character.
hahahahahaha
based, how much money do you make from that, in exact figures?
My alarm clock used to be a boombox that starts playing Electric Wizard's "Supercoven" at maximum volume at 6 AM. Worked great. Well, I had to go out of town for one day to attend a metal concert and I forgot to turn off that "alarm". So when I got back the next day, the cops had busted open the door, taken out the boombox by ripping off all its power sources and the landlord had left me an eviction notice. Apparently "Supercoven" had been playing on loop for hours at full volume until one of the neighbors made a noise complaint and got the cops involved.
not him but in 2010 my plasma used to pay 50 bucks a donation
the fact that he's able to sell coom means he's likely tall, handsome, and smart since they actually shove it in women
Almost nothing other than shitposting on Yea Forums.
In middle school (in the 90s) there was an asshole who I didn't like for various reasons. I picked up roadkill with a shovel and carried it almost half a mile to his house, walked into his garage (his parents left it open, our suburb was 99% white), and carried the roadkill up into the attic space which the family was not using. I don't know how long it was there, but every time I saw him at school after that I liked to think it was sitting there rotting away.
what are you even on about? You just take her to your room