Write what's on your mind

Anime edition

Attached: 075.jpg (2950x4250, 1.86M)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=zMcNTedWJew
poemtree.com/poems/Because-I-Liked-You.htm)
clyp.it/frqe0pjz?token=222f08434c564ce77f6bfb942751f367
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Offing myself tomorrow. Wish me luck. Hope the afterlife looks like a Berserk illustration.

Attached: Berserk_v30_p119.jpg (2500x3660, 2.65M)

It would be better if you didn't probably

You might as well flood the earth

>offing yourself because of the present
>permanent solution for a temporal problem

If you ever want to peer into a pitch black abyss, study accounting. It is perhaps the most intellectually nullifying, brain-cell shredding load of absolute dreck I have ever given thought to. I can't justify thinking about it for the next hour, let alone the next two years, and especially not the rest of my pitiful existence.

Just came off a 30 break from Yea Forums. 100 days+ no porn sites/red boards going strong. I read 72 pages of moby dick, but most of the time I wasted on TikTok and youtube.

I’m thinking about becoming a high school teacher. It’s the only career I can see myself enjoying. But everyone around me thinks that I should be doing something much more prestigious. For years I’ve been told that I’ll “make the big bucks,” buy my mom a beach house, cure cancer, etc. Just the other day my aunt said “think of how much potential you have!” at dinner with family. Her words crushed me.

I saw a cute girl on campus. I don’t have the nerve or foresight to do anything with her, but at least she’s distracting me from HER. But I know that when I see HER again, I’ll be thrown back again into endless, incurable fantasies.

bump

What I find particularly vexatious about social media is its powers of entrapment. It has inserted itself as the axis through which social credibility is conveyed in the attentional economy. To succeed in social media is to succeed in the artificial conditions it has constructed, to play its lame game. Most of all it is to sink your attention into its nexus of apps and to self-consciously monitor one's every behavior in comparison to the whims of whatever ephemeral crowd one has attracted at the given moment. It then drives you headlong into its game, forcing you to sacrifice for its sake, all while preying on the basic human desire for attention and affirmation.
A lesson about capitalism is that it seeks to expand and conjure ever more markets. As more demands are satisfied capitalism is not content to flatten out into self-stable equilibrium. It must find more to exploit under the guise of satisfying demand. As capitalism has continued to expand it has to seek out more abstracted and distant aspects of human psychology to appeal to. Thus attention itself has become marketized. Every reflex action of your extraocular muscles, every dart of your eyeballs, is money to this insatiable engine of profit. We must ask, at risk of being labeled commies, if it is really making anyone happy.

How are you doing it?

As they fell on all fours to the ground, the novice thought that would be the "voice of god".

Thankfully it stopped as the wind stopped. They both stood up.

Everything was all right. But the cube was swaying slowly. The glory of god revealed, no doubt.

Just as the shaman was about to continue his explanations, the novice squinted. For a dark shadow flew past the arm of god.

Had the unfortunate raven perched closer to the balance center of god, maybe the structure would not have collapsed.

A loud crack was heard, some creaking and then a thunderous whiplash like that of tearing metal pierced through the skies.

The novice dropped the shaman`s hand and both ran for the bushes disappearing out of sight of each other and of the world.

When the dust settled they came out - two scared animals. The novice stared at a tree nearby as if he had seen something but chose to not share. They gazed across the plane looking for their dear god but not finding him, without a word, they just ran in two different directions far, far away.

The air misted for a second close to that nearby tree and three figures materialized next to the trunk.

"Wow, he almost saw us."
"They have abilities you know. Especially after the fall..."
"Well why don't they use them?"
"Why did that crane over there fall? They never use them, not when they are strongest after Armageddon, not when they are most needed - before it."
"They have it within their minds, but they shut it off in early childhood. Across generations it dies out in almost all."
"They even have a name for it - the human condition."

The older one stirred. "Fear. It is fear that inhibits them, then it becomes comfort and a thousand substitutes for what they chose to not use, to forget out of fear. They cannot bear it all, not in the beginning, not in the end."

The younger one looked in the distance and whispered:
"End of the night...
some are born in sweet delight,
some are born in endless night."

youtube.com/watch?v=zMcNTedWJew

Why? Everytime. Procrastination. Every time. Is it like a self-hate thing? I give myself enough time to do the thing. I use that time to not do that thing. I give myself MORE time than I usually give myself. I still fill up that time with literally fucking writing this. Why? And I made myself coffee! I should be in the shower or something, but noooo. Noone knows user, noone knows. They don't care. They have their own shit, they're self-absorbed too. Noone cares. I almost replied to that guy asking about weed. Why why why why why? It is a self-hate thing, isn't it? Anyhow gotta holler now. Or maybe I'll lurk these threads waiting on youse, waiting until the time is tight again. Who knows. I do, and I hate it.

Pursuing money is akin to the snake eating himself, only unfortunately for us, the snake never chokes. I'm trying to find satisfaction in gains I've made but it's never enough.

Attached: 1388225912396.png (567x473, 222K)

:( have a checked. I hope it is whatever you want it to be

kino photo user. ideal location for kino photography.
i would suggest you to embrace to melancholy landscape, lurk around the town with a camera and pursue prose and photography. express yourself through pen and camera.

Decreasing the dosage of my antidepressents to get off them, and already having withdrawal symptoms which are a pain in the ass. Time perception being wacky, brain jolts, no fun. Old friend is visiting next week, we'll probably go clubbing and complain to each other about how much we want to die. Hoping I die from an accidental fentanyl overdose, that's what amsterdam is all about after all. Also some nigger stole my €1k watch and the police refuse to do jack shit because that's too small an amount to care about apparently.

Dubs of luck. Tell us if the afterlife is nice.

>everyone around me thinks that I should be doing something much more prestigious
iktf. Most people think me a smaht guy that really has something to bring to this world, and maybe I could, but I don't want to bring anything to this world (except ecoterrorism maybe).

protip: there’s none

You don't really have potential - that's just something well meaning family members say when they want you to get up off your ass. If you're somewhat educated but you choose to spend your free time on TikTok, high school teacher isn't a bad bet. The girl doesn't even know who you are and probably never will.

things are only going to get worse though, we're nearing the twilight of the human race

niggers tongue my anus

user... that's my second ffavorite niche religious painting theme. based

Attached: monk-with-a-wine-eduard-von-grutzner.jpg (228x300, 13K)

photography is too faggy for me as a full blown hobby, but i like taking an ocasional comfy pic

Attached: IMG_20191111_180845.jpg (3120x4160, 2.93M)

photography is faggy for you because you're uneducated about the art medium but whatever your choice.

>Chaos is order yet undeciphered
Order is chaos yet undeciphered. Good movie though.

i'm a schizo with complicated relationships with cameras. i'd also hate to resemble pic related. fuckers made me stand still for over an hour in near-freezing temps (warm if you move, horrible tobe idle, plus wind) while they snapped a sure fucking thousand pics of their child striking the same 3 poses (aint much positions you can take in a saddle) on a very uncooperative horse that starts biting if you pull shit like that on him

for me, a faggot with camera always ruins a comfy event

pic
also, "bloggers" that come just to take pics and always have to disrupt the work

Attached: 1583074204397.jpg (582x720, 101K)

not like i'm free of that sin, unusual landscapes are my weak spot

Attached: 1581323949659.jpg (720x535, 33K)

so you are uneducated about the medium but i don't blame you. these fucking subhuman consoomer gearfaggots ruined photography, they are the scum of the medium. this isn't the artistic side of photography.

for a starting point checkout the work of "Todd Hido"

hate your god I hate my job hate hypocrites and common slob hate people who aren't more than what they seem more than anything else the american dream
I have a crush on a stranger for the first time in a decade and it drives me insane because it's absurd. It's also driving me to hurry up and get a car so I can go on a few other dates and find someone else because how the hell do you ask a contractor at a job on a date without it devolving into a firing?
The irrationality says "but I want her!"
No, dummy, you're just fixated because you have a bucket of issues. No, you're not a sewer mutant, but come on now mate, you think she's smiling at you? She might be, and it's just driving me insane.
Why would anyone see this goatish vulture in the wild and find him attractive?
Why the hell am I putting this on virgin.com?

holy cringe people like this subhuman exist

Attached: 1563144416206.jpg (548x540, 23K)

I want a kigu gf
And I want it now

Attached: IMG_20200221_073717.jpg (853x1278, 114K)

i'm fully aware of how hipsters and the like ruined photography for me. it can be pure kino, but i'm able to enjoy pretty much exclusively old pics, pre-mass-faggotry, there's also some grainyness and unbearable divinity of tones (in color photos) that no 4k full hd camera could capture

Attached: 1569814994979.jpg (1600x1162, 792K)

I went to my first party a few days ago. It was loud and my feet hurt but it was okay. I would have rather been doing anything else. The important thing, though, is that I survived the experience. Can I call myself a normalfag now?

God I wish these moderate democrats (status quo corporatists who will change precisely nothing but continue the republican oligarchic agenda in slow motion) would fall into a bottomless pit. No matter your political affiliation you can't deny that Sanders is the most interesting candidate, in that he serves as an antithetical corrective to Trump. The internal mechanism of the US government is calibrating, and jumping from one extreme to another would elicit the most jarring reconfiguration. The nation must undergo this synthesis, must experience the most shock, if it is to remain viable long term. To switch between hardcore plutocracy to democratic socialism, rather than to soft plutocracy, is a massive shock stimulus. The entire system must be disoriented in order for it to settle on a more well-adjusted set point.

I was staying in the capital city for two days, trying to find a job. I felt immense depression walking among other cheerful and hopeful people. All i wanted is to return to my small town and never set a foot outside.

i'm okay

no, it’s literally because I made a perfect score on a standardized test, putting me at 99.95% percentile, and that’s with my lazy work ethic.

Is a handjob from Glover a handjob or a bodyjob?

And you don't wish to experience that?

Unbidden undidden unthinken undone. Bin the din and drink the sun. Bollying boxengotten got the old sox and brontecedent. Built the billowing bails of blood. Thank the thun thus thitherly took the bread from the yeast and sank the soot. Blackened eyeballs, he drank from the crisp. Latht time thomeone did that they came out with a lithp. The well seeks divers, its moistness divine, it beckons wide the windowless lies listless lives letting lead loose the dread from the oncoming of thine. Breaking, taking, all that's unmaking. Endless endlessness lest ending yet, but on the onsen the orthogonal octagon ought osteophilic skeletons boned with boners built like bison.

Sounds based.

The NPC meme is old now but I was thinking about it just now and I cannot understand how such a phenomena can be possible. Unless I'm misunderstanding it, such a person would be unable to even think and produce his/her own thoughts, right? How would they be able to remember things without seeing them or hearing them in their head? How would they know how to form sentences without putting them together mentally? I don't get it and if it's true, perhaps they are a different kind of human. Maybe nature just designed their bodies and minds differently, that's why we can't fathom the idea, just like how NPC's cannot imagine what it's like to be someone who can visualize things in their head.

Imagination is supposed to be one of the building blocks of being human, how can someone not have this nessecary feature and be able to survive? I guess people come in different shapes and sizes, with varying levels of complexity and maybe that's another reason for my confusion. Humanity can sometimes appear so multilayered that it's difficult to make sense of it all.

>finally go through and unsubscribe from all the promotional emails I get
>stop receiving emails entirely

Attached: 1549158278978.jpg (540x407, 29K)

A fool! A fool! Who will bargain his foolishness with me against my reason? - Ha, I am Alexander the Great. How the sun shines a golden crown in my hair, how my uniform flashes. Generalissimo Hay Horse, order the troops to advance. Mr. Finance Minister Cross Spider, I need money! Dear Lady Dragonfly, how is my dear wife Beanpole doing? Oh, my dearest Mr. Leibmedicus Kantharide, I am at a loss for an heir to the throne. And to these delicious fantasies one gets good soup, good meat, good bread, a good bed, and one's hair shorn for free - in the fool's house, that is...Alas...That the clouds have been moving from west to east for three weeks now. It makes me melancholic. The bees sit so lazily on the flowers, and the sunshine lies so lazily on the ground. There is a terrible sense of idleness. - Idleness is the root of all evil. - The things people do out of boredom! They study out of boredom, they pray out of boredom, they fall in love, they marry and multiply out of boredom and finally die out of boredom, and - and this is the humour of it - everything with the most important faces, without realising why, and thinking God knows what about it. All these heroes, these geniuses, these fools, these saints, these sinners, these family men are basically nothing but refined idlers. - Why do I have to know? Why can't I become important to myself and put a tuxedo on the poor doll and put an umbrella in its hand so that it would be very legitimate and very useful and very moral? - Oh, who could ever be anyone else! Just for a minute. -

I can't get the lyrics from a Steve Martin song out of my head. I think that's the subtle beauty of his comedy. With some jokes from other comedians, I would laugh and forget them in a few minutes/hours. With this one, I didn't really laugh, I appreciated it, but I can't get it out of my head.

"Went to Whole Foods,
bought some goat cheese,
girl in shorts gives me a smile,
she advances, I'm responsive,
what the heck it's been a while."

I'm learning how to do this style of comedy for the last couple of months. Sometimes I nail it, but when I fail it's fucking glorious.

pretty cool berserk picture, i was genuinely just thinking about some philosophy from berserk earlier, particularly pic related and the "anger is a place man goes to when he can't stand suffering" speech from godo.
it's crazy how many times i refute my mental acceptance of giving up the struggle of life by just thinking about guts' struggle throughout his problems which are way worse than mine.

Attached: k2964lbhji6x.jpg (1124x1190, 166K)

Right now I am looking at myself in a mirror and I absolutely love what I see. I am all that I am and all that I should be. I am neither the best nor the worst, but I am myself completely.

There is a lack of self-fulfillment in the world. It seems most are living at something less than their full capacity and these people have not embraced themselves and taken ownership of their lives. This does not mean filling your day with activities nor does it mean tireless self-help. It means understanding and appreciating who you are, limits and all, and knowing that the ideal is not what you are fed on social media but this realization, that you exist for a purpose and you are good, assuming you are, in fact, good.

Evil people exist in this world and it is the duty of the good to prevent these types from influencing those who they intend to harm. This is not well understood. Modernity requires that we give the benefit of the doubt to all, in perpetuity. What better setup could the evil have than this?

Smile, force that laugh, your eyes know and the eyes looking back at you know that you know, but you are silent and you go on your way.

This is who you do not want to be.

I can't wait for the semester to be over! in a good way

i absolutely cannot believe i am growing older, 23 years old now, i wake up every day and think of this and it shakes me to my core, where did all the time go? i did enjoy the years before this one, but it terrifies me to think that in 7 years i'll be 30 and i've not yet done anything with my life

i can feel my family tiring of me living with them, i am studying something that i hate, my looks are fading (whatever looks i had anyway), and as much as i need to do something with my life, the sad thing is that i don't want these times to end, i don't want to have to get a job or move out, i am at a crossroads and i don't know what to do

>i am studying something that i hate,
Why?

i always enjoyed godo and his talks with guts. he was such a simple character with simple qualities and habits, yet he derived such importance out of them. he was very expressive for and to guts and i think that is definitely one of the biggest influences for guts so far

Attached: IMG_0003.png (1076x1600, 518K)

why dwell on your position, go out and do something about it. you make a cage in your mind and you hold the key yet you want to cry out that you are imprisoned. stop being silly

Going to start another round of queries. All I want is to get published and I'll be able to die happy. Made a new alias and email that's more catchy. Next step is to re-read the query now that I'm a little distanced from it, shine that up, and it begins.

I'm so busy I barely have time to sleep, but I want to dedicate 30 minutes every evening to this until I get one of these agents to greenlight me. If I have to send 100 queries then so be it.

Attached: bd29e2d7d043b07707aa62c1d05e21b0.jpg (604x427, 43K)

Last Tuesday and Friday a girl who rejected me last year and I talked very deeply about philosophy, mental health, and romance, for seemingly no reason, and now she's saying she wants to talk about our feelings because she feels close to me now and isn't sure if it's love or not.

working on a deadline and pulling 12 hour days in the library—cannot wait for this project to be behind me, fellas

Attached: studytime.jpg (1668x2224, 634K)

I'm thinking of painting my toe nails tonight, but I can't decide between purple and green.

You can paint your nails with my cum.

Paint the ceiling with your brains, Buttershit.

Always the same question, isn't it? Always. Why not? Why the fuck not! Watch your netflix. Your /x/, your Yea Forums, your /his/. Scroll through the catalog, read the opinions of the well and the less well meaning. Argue with them! State your opinion, be cocky but not too cocky. Make user engage. (you)s, this addictive tragedy. Give, but not too much. Take, but don't overreach. Never overreach. For my sake. For your sake. No spooks here, just user.

There it is again. Is it a need to 'show off' some form of weakness, in this case paranoia? Is that a word too strong? I don't get 'gangstalked', not that I 'noticed'. But am I on lists? Official possibly secret lists? Probably. But there it is again! Right fucking there! It's not paranoia. It's anxiety in part, sure. Is it fear of letting go of habits? Is that the wrong way to put it? What do I have? What am I doing? Why am I this lazy, or is it really depression? I tried this a year ago on paper. Is it going to work this time? Will I stick to the regime? I better. Better. I want to get better. I will get better. The fear, the troubles, the malign patterns, they're temporary. I can work on them. I do work on them. I teach myself to enjoy working on them. I have to teach myself to be diligent. Punctual. Confident. After all, that's the key right? Confidence, the neuro-technology of success. Sheer willpower. I think I potentially have a lot more of that, than I grew up thinking. Trust yourself user. Roots in hell and branches in heaven. That's how it works. The feet tingle. A good sign. I have to work. Become more systematic. Learn, study the ideas. I know which ones. (all of them)
So much to do. So so much.

Attached: 1575993232873.jpg (900x1038, 558K)

Very nice user. Your own work?

I would like to partake in the conjugal act with simulated thoughts unto which way to much attention has been pained in creating the fantasy
luckily by simply not eating this desire goes away
thank hunger and then thank sleep for curing even the discomfort left in the absence of food

I died back in New Zealand.
I was 20 at the time, 4 years ago. I was about to start my life over when my mother called me right after I had set up a bank account, she told me that my brother was dying. I got rid of everything and left, once more.
I came back home and shortly after my brother died, mom and sister tried to kill themselves, dad didn't care. It dragged me down but I still had the girl I met back in New Zealand at least, or so I thought, after a few months I never heard from her again, didn't answer my messages, didn't pick up my calls.
I used to have emotions and urges. These last year's have been hell, constant anxiety, intensive therapy, experimental drug use, in and out of employment, trying to get a grip.

Don’t listen to normalfags, do what you gotta do bro

well adjusted adult here AMA

where do babies come from?

extramarital relations, typically.

Believe it!

Daily reminder that the same people shilling books of artistocratic elitism, telling your to kill yourself, or mocking you with wojak images are the same ones that will literally max out a talk therapy thread until bump limit.

This board is the most pitiful of contradictions. It is nothing but a machine for pain. It rewards provocation without resolution and criticism without synthesis. You will simply be broken down until you are a computer. Yet instead of 0s and 1s you will think solely with "Based" or "Cringe."

I am convinced no one believes in anything. It is all a convenient facade, a masquerade for an inconvenient fault. What is modern man at the core but this? To have been tainted by the internet is worse than having died. You return a shell of a man, stripped to the core from anger, at times concealed under "values" and at times brought unto the light from some unconvenient fault line in life. How tiring.

Reading a self help book for recent graduates my aunt gave me, first part was all about work and what to do in that regard. It was interesting but I wasn't really relevant considering I had signed for a position at a place I was pretty excited to be before I even started my last semester.

But the next part was about love, and that hit me. I'm convinced I'm going to end up not marrying anyone. Physical intimacy and commitment terrify me. The idea of someone loving me outside my parents doesn't make any sense to me. Granted I havn't tried, also because I have a crippling fear of rejection. I'm a shut in besides work. I go to work, the gym, read at home, play mtg or hang out with friends on the weekends, nothing I would ever meet a women at. The idea of dating apps seems so ungenuine and fake that I can't bring myself to do so. This idea of being alone doesn't necessarily me by any means, just something I have to accept. It doesn't make me mad or happy, or anything for that matter. Like accepting that I owe rent this month. Just something that is, and only an extremely uncommon situation could change that.

Feel like I've finally taken off the mask.

Attached: 1575169719302.jpg (738x739, 521K)

I went to the library today. There's an impractically large study room on the top floor that only contains eight small square tables. Today all eight tables were occupied. Since I didn't want to intrude upon someone else's privacy and the idea of sitting on the floor seemed uncomfortable, I borrowed a chair from one of the tables and moved it over to the wall and read there for about half an hour. After half an hour, a security guard approached me and said that patrons weren't allowed to move the furniture. I tried to argue with him, but he reminded me that he didn't make the rules so I put the chair back. A woman sitting at one of the tables noticed this, and invited me to sit across from her. I read there for another half hour, during which time neither of us spoke. The woman finished her studying around the same time I finished the chapter I was reading, and on my way out I noticed a man who had taken a chair away from one of the eight tables. He was sitting against the study room's far wall and reading a newspaper. Before leaving the building, I decided to check out a volume of short stories I had partially read as an ebook. As far back as I can remember, the circulation desk of the library has been on the second floor, but today I discovered that it had been moved to the lobby. I asked the clerk (there's only one clerk now, since they've added a self-checkout system) how long the circulation desk has been on the ground floor, and she told me it's been like this for over five years now. I had no recollection of this. The first thing I did after getting home was to read the first story in the book I had checked out, and after finishing it I turned on my computer and opened up Yea Forums. The first thread I saw contained a post referencing the exact story I had just read.

What do you think this means?

Attached: crystalpalace.jpg (750x568, 173K)

>a self help book for recent graduates
What's the title?
I'm surprised a book like that talks about love.

good morning, brothers. mayy this day be fulfilling. i watched this gay cowboy movie the other day and it was pretty sad, i liked the sceneries over the plot though

Attached: IMG_20200226_100158.jpg (3120x4160, 3.47M)

Do the self-help books actually work?

WHY OFF YOURSELF WHEN THE CORONAVIRUS CAN DO IT FOR YOU?!?!??
DONT SAY THAT AHJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE!!!!1
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WERE FUCKING DONE THE CORONAVIRUS WILL KILL US FUCK UCKF UFCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVEN;T EVEN FINISHED MY EPIC POEMS!!!1! I'LL DIE WITH NOTHIGN TO MY NAME FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Why is femininity associated with unconsciousness?

Dick thinks about Pussy. Pipe-smoking Balls. Tights pants.

>your blood tastes so sweet, like sugar baaabyyyy

Seems you got the worst part over. Try to go to church.

so are you still among us?
i really do hope you are user.

based

>at last judgement
>can't look anyone in the eye
>have nothing to say for myself
>be judged and depart
>fall down a deep pit
>can't see
>can't hear
>no light
>be rejected
>regret for eternity
>wail and gnash teeth

If you actually put in the work, yes.

why would someone off themselves after getting such glorious digits?

Don't do it, brother...

Attached: 1558245174222.png (2000x2000, 153K)

>I have no god and I must repent

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO READ HOLY SHIT
I HAVE A WHOLE LIST OF NONFICTION AND I LIKE ALL OF THEM
BUT EVERY FICTION BOOK I TRY OUT TURNS OUT TO BE TOTAL DOGSHIT
EVERY TIME I LOOK THROUGH RECOMMENDATIONS I GET THE SAME FUCKING AUTHORS I GOT 15 YEARS AGO WHEN I STARTED READING
IS THIS IT?????????????????????????????
DO I HAVE TO LEARN ANOTHER FUCKING LANGUAGE TO FIND GOOD BOOKS AGAIN HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
CAN NOBODY ON THIS FUCKING WEBSITE JUST RECOMMEND ME SOME RANDOM BOOK THAT ISN'T TOTAL GARBAGE
IT DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE LITERATURE
I AM ONLY ASKING FOR ONE (1) ENTERTAINING FICTION READ

Anything by Brandon Sanderson.

I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF THIS ISN'T A JOKE YOU QUADROON
YOU ARE MESSING WITH THE FRAYING ENDS OF MY SANITY

I like Tolkien, not memeing. And he has entry-level stuff to go on from. Read it as mythology and enjoy.

...

>I showed them the Fire of the Mind

>a standardized test
Which one?

puffy, sloppy, chubby, pink.

You seriously think I haven't read Tolkien yet? This is what I mean. These are not good recommendations. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't take 5 minutes to google. I want some niche reads.
I've read/tried most of those too.

Rabies by Borislav Pekić

If you dont like reading fiction, why force yourself? You really dont need to. If you are good at lifting weights and bad at running, why run instead of lifting weights?

Brokeback Mountain?

yes. i'd rate 7/10, not really into the western aesthetic (only starting to feel something for it) and romance as the main arch, but damn me if those nature shots and sincerity arent worth it

Honestly, what’s the fucking point? Everything is so mundane and sedentary now. I’m just running out the clock til I die as is.

I'm tired, but most of all i'm tired of being tired. I'm changing everything today, this minute, this second.

Attached: 1427000066177.png (1200x1826, 625K)

act

When will people admit he was right?

Attached: 1581980295336.jpg (374x520, 56K)

WE’VE GOT FIVE YEARS (STUCK ON MY EYES)
FIVE YEARS (WHAT A SURPRISE)
WE’VE GOT FIVE YEARS (MY BRAIN HURTS A LOT)
FIVE YEARS (THAT’S ALL WE’VE GOT)

bump

fuck mondays

Right-winged? Only conservatives deny that.

I’m new to this board, wish I could write as smart as Yea Forums does. I’m also reading for the first time in years, Frankenstein, some murder mystery for my book club, and The book of the new sun. I hope to start with Pulp and move onto more serious stuff, like philosophy. I want to read some stuff from Camus and Aristotle soon

Attached: 4983010B-C851-4A41-A2C5-0FE870A841E8.jpg (1536x1962, 782K)

Camus is pretty easy, imo basically anyone can read The Stranger or The Fall and understand and enjoy them

my 1400 word English paper that I haven’t started yet and can’t for the life of me conjure up the will to do it

Did you write that? Pretty neat.

Based

"The Fall" is one of my favorite books. Yeah I've read the fucking classics, but there are parts of The Fall that sell it for me over and over again. It's been almost 10 years since I've read it.

For example, the part where he says that when I talk about "us", then I'm not talking about myself. Or the damn ending where he says "imagine if they would take us by our word, then we would have to jump!" Or the part where he gets in the conflict with a guy and thinks about it for the next few months. Something rings in my head every time I remember that book.

It's a feeling like, remember in Catch-22, when that one guy says to Yossarian "come fly with us", Yassrian refuses because he thought it was dangerous, but later we find out why the guy called him. To not spoil it for people who haven't read it. There are things that do that to me probably constantly, but I disregard them and set them aside, but they keep telling me "come, there's something for you here." "The Fall" is definitely one of those things.

Core-coded invites
Stubbly
Managerial in nature
Habitual regenerative properties
However, palsy

How does one stop "simping" (as the children say) on women

Attached: 7881B992-AE22-47ED-8E29-FD846E44F2D6.jpg (750x728, 294K)

Become misogynist. Misogyny is good

I realize coomerposting is last year but I’ve drastically reduced how often I jerk off ever since I started doing more during the day than sitting at my computer shitposting. It’s like I was doing it out of boredom more than anything. It’s not like I’m purposely holding myself back or anything either I just don’t think about it at all.

Starting to realize that my writing is irreversibly influenced by all the anime I've watched over the years. There was a thread a little while ago about the influence of anime on literature, and it makes me think about how when I look over my short stories and novels, there's a definite influence from anime. Personality traits, scenarios, even the "mood" some of my stories create often, when I reread them, carries the feeling of influence from anime. It's hard to describe what an "anime feeling" seems like in a written work, I just can't shake the feeling that my own stuff has it.

Attached: 1567888757493.gif (506x516, 443K)

Hearing what I have to say is a waste of time. I am unloveable. No woman could possibly ever feel attracted to me. I will never have sex. I will never feel her warm blood under her skin as we hold each other in bed sheets. I will never kiss a woman in a moment of passion. I am a miserable loser. I lack even the plain initiative to even approach a woman. I am a sad sickly excuse for a male. I'm aroused by my own shame. I develop romantic passions for women I know I have no chances with. I feed these passions with grand delusions but I fear to act on what I think of. I will never feel a woman's skin with my hand. I will die sick and alone. I fear rejection almost as much as I enjoy being ashamed at myself. I often dream about being in a loving relationship with every woman I've ever fallen for. It doesn't take much, really. Just a smile and some general interest in my well being and I become obsessed, but too afraid to ever move. I think if I ever had a woman holding my penis in her hands I wouldn't move a muscle. I would mentally squirm and cry. I am a loser. I am unloveable. I have nothing to say. My brain is empty. When I think about asking a woman out, I quickly correct myself, and am reminded of how pitiful I am. How could any woman love a chronic masturbator? How could any woman love a man who cries himself to sleep listening to girlfriend experience ASMR? I am a trainwreck, a manchild, a stupid depressed clown. I still think about women from my days of elementary school. Sometimes I like to fantasize that if I had been kissed back then, I would be a more confident man. I realize often that there's no point in lusting after a woman because I already hate myself so much. I would simply be inconveniencing her. I don't deserve love. I bury my head in my own sadness and depression to cope with my inadequacies and general inexperience with life, and struggle to accept praise from anyone.

Attached: 202B30DA-5E16-4E53-AFA1-B62E5293E277.jpg (1288x1288, 110K)

Yea Forums used to be fun. no it's just women this, niggers that. b is nothing but porn. even lit has those incel threads with whore op pics daily by dozens.
has the site gone bad? or is it me that grew up?

Attached: 1579802414662.jpg (612x472, 60K)

Finished a novel, edited it, then read online that flashbacks are a no no. Scraped it and started a new one. Finished the outline today. Chapter 1 should be done shortly.

It hurt so bad. I edited for so long.

>pic adlibbed
"I will never struggle to pinch your loaf Guts."

Attached: A175741D-DC71-408B-B8AB-D7BCBED6E609.png (883x700, 384K)

>read online that flashbacks are a no no. Scraped
that's your problem. dont let some online experts cuck your creativity.

His once-favorite band failed to impress the adult as much as it once enamored the child; yet another post-adolescent disappointment in an ever-disappointing life.
He generously wondered if it were him who had failed by ignoring their subsequent output in the intervening years since they released the album that a fourteen year old boy might consider life changing.
No - it was not HIS failure! After all, old friends drift apart and change on their own, if they reconnected they may not understand the places the other had gone that could fundamentally morph childhood heroes into workaday rock-stars bound by contractual obligation to shit out more albums than necessary.
Sometimes you wish your miserable friends would quit their job and do what makes them happy even if it meant you'd never hear from them again.
Sometimes you wished they'd get hit by a bus because that's what it would take to make them shut the fuck up.
He reaches for the cheap samsung phone, disgusted. He's given them so many chances, attempting to listen to what he might have missed, trying so hard to find echoes of what made him love them in the first place in their work since he last heard them...but it just wasn't working!
He paused the ongoing song (some cheap, overwrought ditty) and paused himself.
The great thing about music was that if you hated the new stuff, you could still enjoy the old. So what if everything they'd released in the past 15 years or so was hot garbage? He still had their old stuff on the playlist, it still elicited similar feelings as they had when he was a kid. He grinned to himself a little guiltily.
He set the phone down, closed his eyes, and found his old friend just the way he'd left them.

how can i contribute to ""society"" if i dont even understand them

Minimize your detriment.

try to abstain from mailbombing.

See a prostitute dude, I can’t think of another way to fix this. Or go outside more, preferably with friends if you have any

Vaporwave felt like a cool mist on the skin, like a gentle breeze through wet hair, like a thin t-shirt after a shower. I don’t know why I’m feeling nostalgic over it right now, it was just an alluring aesthetic to escape into I guess.

I'll let you hit if you quit sulking

divine trips confirm

LONDON

Infp experience

Take antidepressants they will fuck up your libido and make you an asexual free man.

based. i love vaporwave unironically, both music and aesthetic, it's the perfect background tune

How did you know?

Attached: C8B7BA05-FA2B-4FEC-99EC-8B5DF506A2A6.png (1016x984, 41K)

An indifferent hazy coldness pervades the soul. Otherness upon acknowledging the familiar. Ineptitude. Pointless point. Being an outsider fucking sucks.

been struggling with simping myself, and unironically the best way to fight it is trying to get to know the person youre simping over, this will either show you why your admiration was misplaced or will stop you from feeling like a simp if it turns out it was deserved

Attached: aznqt.jpg (174x174, 6K)

Flashbacks are based you baka. Epic poems always start in the middle, and Berserk has a whole flashback arc. Nothing like recontextualizing scenes from the start of the book once you know the backstory.

The dawn before day lay bare like a rough hewn rock half burried in desert sand.

Attached: 1568619016375.jpg (668x960, 80K)

I don't like religion and think it needs to go away. I would compromise and at least settle for televangelists being banned from television (and everything) and those who practise prosperity gospel or uphold it taken out to a field and shot. They're a blight upon this already blighted world.

I work with a really cute girl who is both kind of crazy and maybe slightly autistic. I think she wants to fuck (others have also suggested as much). She also has a feller who seems completely (unsurprisingly) psychotic.

i walked back from my creative writing class with this really cute girl and got her number. she seems to like me, which is scary. I am never ready for the things I long for, I'm too autistic for who I've made of myself outside.

>got her number
gtfo Chad

>25yo virgin
>live in a small shitty flat with a lesbian couple
>they are the only females that don't hate me
>in fact they're always joke-flirting with me
>the feminine one loves and is always complimenting and smoothing my long ginger hair
>the butch one is half-seriously half-jokingly jealous of my muscles and is always touching me
>they're doing IVF and want me to move out soon so they can raise a kid
>they're getting a red haired Irish donor (apparently they're really in demand amongst dykes)
>we got into a serious argument because I got some weird vibes from them like they were taunting me about it and I told them if the kid turns out to be a ginger boy to just abort it instead of letting it suffer existence
>have nowhere to go because both my parents are dead already and I have literally only one friend and I can't sleep on his couch because he's a faggot and I fear he's developed feelings for me
>I don't think I'm just paranoid that he's attracted to me, he made it pretty obvious one time when he recited a fag poem to me (this one poemtree.com/poems/Because-I-Liked-You.htm) and incredulously asked me what I thought it meant cause he didn't get it
>I just awkwardly and sheepishly said oh uh I dunno it's about a guy who told a woman he loved her but she doesn't reciprocate so they can't be friends anymore

The only women who find me attractive won't have me. The only person who would have me is a fucking man. My only friend secretly wants my dick.
I'm thinking I could either use my travesty of a life as the basis for a black comedy memoir and make money off of it or I should just an hero.

I bet you're not even that bad. Probably a cute but nerdy and shy twink. Your first order of business should be to cut out this self-critical inner voice leading to these self-attacking words. You're just pouring salt into the wounds.

you should realize that if you're free to kill yourself, you're free to do anything

Maybe I'm just fundamentally headfucked

Stop being mean about your fag friend's feelings you fucking faggot. Just because it inconveniences you or even if he's retarded about it, he's still vulnerable. I'm not even a queer and I'm mad. I hope those dykes scissor your head off.

Thinking about translating all my documents to binary code so they can be relatively secure. It's actually an interesting language to learn even if you don't work with programming. I don't but for some reason did. Same with Morse code, but I think that's pretty useful.

I hope that this spring weather stays.

The uber driver who picked me up today had what seemed to be a speech impediment. That speech impediment seemed to be a result of some sort of mental retardation. He would mutter about things in a nearly unintelligble manner.

Some people are just not intelligent enough to hold jobs that are required by today's society. Disregarding intelligence; there are many other things that cause people to be unproductive. One thing that I observe often is people who deal with a language barrier. For these people in particular, why don't they just learn the language of the nation that they reside in?

Just like how the mentally retarded uber driver exists far beneath you on the pareto distribution, you are just as far as some other people in the distribution. In the case of the driver and you; he has a physiological ailment that ruin his chances. But what about you? What makes a person ahead of you equally far ahead of you as you are to the uber driver?

A thought; the uber driver is not aware of the reasons behind his placement on the distribution, and he's also probably not fully aware of his placement itself. In the same way, I am not aware of my own placement on the distribution. I am also unaware of what is holding me back from going further beyond where I currently am. In a way, I'm just as retarded as he is. What could the uber driver do to lift his perception outside of himself so that he can see the steps that he can take to improve his situation? Well that's exactly it, he needs to lift his perception outside of himself. He needs to transcend beyond his narrow, subjective view of the options. Realizing this is easy to do for people that aren't you. This is mostly because thse are things that you have already figured out. However, for yourself it is much more difficult, basically because you haven't figured it out yet.

Expand your options. Think about different options when approaching a problem.

Attached: file.png (350x272, 59K)

It's amazing to see how a few phonecalls from Obama could get the DNC's base to coalesce around a guy that can't string together a full sentence in under 72 hours.
I used to shit on Bernie or bust people or people that called Bernie supporters reactionaries, but I'm too mad to care anymore. If the DNC once again uses their corrupt system to fuck Bernie over in this pathetically transparent way, I'm voting for Trump. Fuck the DNC and FUCK OBAMA.
There is just no hope left for this country. Burn it to the fucking ground.

American politics are a joke and it proves that Americans are retarded. Especially if you vote for Trump just to somehow stick it to your other right wing party.

I'm really nervous about the coming day. A girl I've known for several months says she wants to meetup and talk about our feelings because she says (and I agree with her) that things feel "different" between us because we had an emotionally very intimate moment. If it goes well, I might have a relationship, if it goes poorly, I'm not sure she and I will be able to stay friends.

I'm thinking about what makes a genius. I believe the evidence supports that they are born and not made. And I think the fundamental property of genius is quantitative and not qualitative. It's efficiency of processing. Geniuses just have better performing neural resources. Faster and more accurate recall, sharper and more lasting attention , more reliable memory consolidation, faster and more densely connected information sharing across functional network subregions. They just have more and better stuff to work with.
A more efficient brain is the cause rather than the effect of the greater amounts of studying, appetite for learning, enhanced curiosity and intellectual drive that geniuses wield. I speculate that a more efficient brain creates deficients of stimulation very rapidly, as more and more stimuli are processed quickly and simplified. And thus more complex and sophisticated stimuli are sought out to satisfy this deficit, thus creating a virtuous cycle as more interesting things happen inside an already interesting brain.

I went to school with a certified genius. (I felt flattered that he was drawn to me and liked what I had to say.) But one couldn't help noticing he was performing at a level that others were constitutionally incapable of. A certain "quickness" could be noticed in how his mind worked, and his supreme motivation and efforts were clearly fueled by this higher requirement for stimulation I have proposed here. What was in play for him was just better raw functionality. Apparently Bill Gates behaves in a very similar way.

In a way I feel like such a bug for embracing IT the way I am; not sexy computer science with $150k salaries, no - IT with it's unsexy acronyms and lack of glamour. Helpdesk no less! This is actually a result of a lot of integration on my part. I've accepted my station as it is currently. I'm mediocre because I haven't put in the effort to be better. It's nice to not have that weight placed on me. Still, there's a part of me that lurks like a tiger in it's cage. I'm hungry for more. But I will use this time wisely to build my skills. Ive forced myself to love computers and will eventually conquer them the way I've conquered art. And by the time I have reached a station in my life that I find acceptable (at least $100k by the time I'm 35) I will be as refined as refined as a katana, removing impurities with each turning in of myself until something pure remains, something antifragile, something that will transcend this bug existence that civilization has become. Man is something to be surpassed!

I've got to keep reminding myself not to get too excitable in case my hypomania flares up. I'm running an experiment in which I can cure my manic-depressive disorder through self regulation. I feel like it's at least worth a shot, especially since the alternative is a permanent label of Defective. So far it's been good, but to be fair I've only been not depressed for about a month, and the hypomania doesn't usually flare up until late spring. Two things that have really helped are becoming more comfortable with myself - knowing my capabilities and desires and accepting them - and also avoiding magical thinking. Another thing is to treat my thoughts with a bit of healthy skepticism.

Illiterate foreign undergrad students are simply too much to handle. Read this for your entertainment:

Satellite some distance flung sensing information have grown to be had in meteorology, agriculture, forestry, geology, regional planning, hydrology or herbal surroundings sciences for the motive that several a long time within the beyond, due to the fact satellites provide routinely excessive pleasant photos with particular temporal and spatial resolutions. Joining, combining or smoothing the ones images for a higher terrific of statistics is an undertaking no longer constantly properly solved. In this regard, geostatistics, as the Spatio-temporal stochastic strategies of geo-referenced records, is a completely useful and effective tool, not enough explored in this area yet. Here, the modern use of some of the geostatistical equipment in satellite television for pc picture evaluation and offer creation to this situation for potential researchers.

95% sure of going to Hell when I die, can't change or control myself, have personally witnessed the spirit of God multiple times but can'g give up my habits, not good enough, I know no one is good enough and that's the point but irrationally keep thinking that I should give up because I don't deserve any better and kill myself so that I go where I deserve to be anyway, I'm gonna do it eventually when I can't distract myself from my guily anymore, has some external force like a demon caused things to be like this or am I solely at fault? Don't know but in Hell I'll be alone and freezing cold where no light shines

2 years anniversary of being on testosterone illegally (ftm tranner in a shithole country) in a couple of days
i want to thank bodybuilder supply stores for eliminating my desire to an hero

Do you have one of those flesh balloon graft penises?

Why do I even try anymore

no surgeries yet, probably getting a mastectomy later this year if i manage to move to yurop. not planning to have a bottom surgery, all types of it currently available are shit and not worth it (although metoidoplasty, the kind that gives you a micropeen much like a greek statue's, looks neat sometimes), better to have a functioning cunt than a frankenfuck of nightmares "dick"
not that obsessed with genitals and sex anyway, having "nothing" in my pants somehow feels pure and sexless

You wish to be a sexless Greek statue? That is at least nobler than mtf perverts but consider anavar bodybuilding instead... I don’t know you but I do not wish the horror of “transitioning” to something you can never really become on anyone
mastectomy makes me cry

i wish to be further away from the flesh, not a christian larper i just dont resonate with this common obsession with sex.
mastectomy is fine, i might even get a regular gyno removal surgery since my size is very small and muscle is building up, no need to bind with loose clothing or more than one layer.

i'm fine with being an in-between freak in reality if i can live in peace, dont care about muh real men and women, i think in this era the fleshly definitions are of no value before the Individual, not to sound like a stirnerfag

You're not going to heaven anyway, might as well stick around for the collapse and all the sin that awaits it.

clyp.it/frqe0pjz?token=222f08434c564ce77f6bfb942751f367
Why does the idea of being dominated by a woman turn me on so much?

Attached: 4E2B427D-A0CF-4EAE-9BE6-3980A6546D71.jpg (320x500, 52K)