I am slowly arriving into my mid-twenties and I've had somewhat of a small epiphany in regards to the life I've lived thus far. I bring forth recollections of yore within my mind, and I tend to notice something peculiar, extraordinary. It is as if every past year, every summer and winter, love and friendships cherished and lost, a specific song, a distinguished scent or a sight, would somehow define what I would label a fond testimony of my prior experiences ; a life chapter if you will, acting akin to landmarks of memory which I would visit times and again.
In the past two, perhaps three years, I've noticed this does not happen so. My mind crafts no returning points in which I can take solace, pride, sorrow and joy. It's almost as if a day comes after day, month after month, a perpetual continuum of nothingness. My soul pens no chapters, forges no memories of note and I feel as if I am losing what I am, and more-so - who I was. It is a bittersweet despair that I enjoy, for my only solace is clinging to the memory landmarks of yore, hoping I will not lose that one shred of humanity I yet hold.
Would you recommend any literary works that target this topic in specific, albeit with significant depth?
It's kind of a gay thing to say nowdays but seriously, try traveling for a little if you're able. Come up with a goal where travel can be used as a means and then go somewhere really out of your comfort zone. It'll get you out of your rut
Aiden Lewis
Have you thought about killing yourself?
Levi Fisher
That stopped happening to me once I cut things off with my oneitis. It's like before I could larp as the protagonist in some grand drama but now I'm back to reality. It's OK though, I've found new mental illnesses to sink into.
Hunter Johnson
That’s just called being black pilled though.
Kevin Martinez
your diary desu really though write it down
Dylan Brown
I guess, I don't think "not being blackpilled" implies doing the life chapter things to most people though.
Noah Ward
This is not a natural state of mind, but rather and affliction, I was trapped in that sort of stupor for almost 3 years, my will completely numb, like trapped in amber. I thought to myself "There's not a single mirror in my room, but everything there reflects who I've become" that sort of defeatist mantra surfacing onto my mind over and over again. I spent so many nights lying on my back, restless, staring at nothing at all, wandering how my life could've turned out if I would've done X, Y, or Z. Over and over again, I replaced the old self of my disturbingly vivid memories with my new self, made bolder and wiser through the trials of these past years. Nevermind the fact that my hearth had become charred by idleness and cynicism, im sure if only I was given the chance to change thing up, I right all of my wrongs. Bitterness and gratitude, hope and despair, it all melts together, sooner or later the wave of reality crushes down upon, I don't even recall how I snapped out of it, and you and you are left a castaway, shivering with eyes wide open but alas, no longer asleep.
>my will completely numb, like trapped in amber This summary resonates deeply with me. I do not know what caused it. I had journeyed from the lowest of lows of emotion and despair, to the highest peaks of knowledge, self-realization and love, and it feels as if I've witnessed all there truly is ; as if I were standing at the end of the world a lone man. Though I do not perceive it an affliction, but the burden of realization perhaps. Realization how utterly absurd one's own existence is.
Colton Thomas
what were you reading that made you think writing in this "style" was worthwhile? who has tainted thy ego with their narrative? it does not suit you, friend.
Liam Torres
I felt 2-3 years what you feeling right now. I'm 27. My solution to this feel is that letting go and building a new self. Whatever good or bad things at past, just let them be in the past. Don't try to return these feelings or expriences. You can't and you won't. Time waits for no one. This feeling is like a bird getting out of it's egg to to emptiness. That emptiness is yours to fill. tl;dr emptiness is good, fill it with things you enjoy and like. But you need to first know what you like and enjoy therefore yourself. And for this you have to be open to new exprienceses. Try to do thing you wouldn't before or didn't like before.
Brandon Moore
>travel t. instagram influencer
William Lee
Travel literally just means moving from one place to another, it's an extremely vague suggestion that can be refitted into any personality or goal. It's healthy for the human psyche. Your narrow view of it attached to very recent social trends is just a highlight of your low iq and creativity. Go ahead user, reject one to the most valuable human pursuits to become a reactionary of retards on social media. Weak.
Lincoln Reed
I was literally thinking about this today
Logan Torres
Many of the great writers traveled extensively user.
Jackson Parker
weird!
Leo Morales
It's because you sit around and do nothing all day every day.
Brayden Foster
if i were lucid i would have wrote the exact same thing to describe my situation.
are you additionally battling a materialist worldview? alienated from nature and reality?
Sebastian Clark
Oh, but it is a dead end. I'll comes a point when you turn around to chugg more wood into the fire to keep the engines running, and to your suprise there'll be nothing left to feed the boiler with. Its like user says you need to let go, look away from your past and forge you present self, both your eyes focused on the here and now; as it stands your are trapped withing an illusion. I dont know if you are in college, or working, but part of what helped me "wake up" was switching career paths, I realized I loved Comp.Sci. as a hobby. not a job, and everyone there was so avoidant, it felt imposible developing genuine human bonds with those guys. I'm btw.
Alexander Richardson
I'm sorry you're feeling that way user. I am too. I don't think your need to affect a super anachronistic prose style is helping though. Go try and help someone, do something that you really know is good, and see the world as not centered around you. (I'm not preaching, I'm saying this to myself as much as I am to you). youtu.be/8CrOL-ydFMI
Isaiah Jackson
Here's my tip, OP -- take it or leave it: stop being a fucking pussy. Update your style while you're at it, too. This isn't the Belle Epoque.
Jackson Collins
Sounds like you not knowing how to form memories as much as having anything to form them with. This is really an effortpost? Always an underrated option. Some gay tard neet doesn't realise if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. The only thing good about it is the art.
No matter what you tards wanna do with your lives, they'll all monotonous trips to the grave. No matter how much effort you put in or how much of a coward you are, nothing can silence the rat that is slowly being drowned by time caught in this fleshly prison.
Why the fuck do you idiots want to remember your time in prison?
>This thread is symptomatic if lits pseudery. It is now. Thanks.
Luke Nelson
>effortpost Newfag? This is a blogpost asking for a book rec.
Henry Foster
There's nothing healing about travel. >oh, cool, i'm still a depressed faggot amongst these grecian ruins! but it's alright, i'm sure i'll get cured soon... surely it was worth the thousands of dollars invested on this trip! i can already feel the serotonin coming! The instagram post was very incisive, only vapid empty faggots think travelling is anything different than just getting to another place.
Jayden Russell
Life is change, and exploring change is what makes great literature. Travel is a convenient way to enact a large positive change in your life.
Nathan Adams
OP, your writing is obtrusively purple, so as to make it unreadable. Please get to the point. It's okay to make the thing you are describing beautiful, but you are making the words describing the thing you are describing beautiful, and it really detracts from what you are describing.
