How the FUCK do I write black characters

Add the word shieeeeet at the beginning. Fuck up some grammar. Thats how The Wire did it.

I’ve seen that one
and besides
except for maybe those 8 seconds where they have every hole plugged and they all impromptu start growling,
It’s really disgusting

I like the one with real life couples, where each kiss means,
I know you
I love you
I’m here just for you

COOOOOOOOOM

You describe them as having dark skin.

So anywhere and everywhere

Give him quirky mannerisms, like rubbing his hands together, licking his lips, and putting his hand on the front of his upper thigh as he looks sidelong at a big booty bitch

So anywhere there aren't actually black people*

you mean add melanin

stop using my textish writing type on here
proove to me now you are not a bot and answer me this

what is an orange times a lemon divided by a lime
what does that mean
answer or you are a botty wotty

OP
basically you have to have had to grow up around with and had friends and foes who were black when you were a weeeeeee lad
or be black yourself but then you'd get all a headcase about it and trying not to make that have any type of point or going full malcolm x or maybe somewhere in between that

black characters need to be written though and shying away from them means your a pussy writter too scarred of offending or fucking it up or something

they're just people at the end of it all dumb dumb

paraphrase all the dialogue

e.g. instead of someone saying "you f--kboys ain't about shit" you just say "so-and-so said in black english that he lived an unserious and empty life."

don't try to write authentic black english unless you know black english very well, you're aiming for sensational tom wolfe-esque caricature

how about just write characters whose ethnicity is not specified?
then in 20 years when the hype surrounding your books is fading you can resurrect them for a bit by claiming the characters were black all along. or gay, or whatever

Watch The Wire. For all its faults, it definitely had some well-written black characters.

Just write him like a white character who steals bikes every now and then

bix nood muhfugga

the ole JK Rowling tactic to shill for good goy points

Oooga booga nigga

actual, 100% legitimate, verified negro here. for the low price of $25 USD an hour, i'll be your consultant and help you write the most authentic negros that a white man will ever write! if you lack talent, i promise you'll at least be better than stephen king

actual, 100% verified jew here. Something about your offer seems fishy.

got a sample of your work?

SHEEEEEIT

No joke, like they all have a chip on their shoulder. Don't forget the subtle lack of self awareness.

Except she contradicted depictions of Hermione being pale to make her black.

20 years ago: Just write a person who's normal but they happen to be black
Now: Write them as flawless, intelligent, strong, one-dimensional characters.
This is apparently what they want.

No. White people steal melanin from the black folk.

post tattoo and penis head

Sounds like a human

I agree with you, becuase that's my exact same opinion.

write good characters for your story and decide on his aesthetics afterwards, it's that simple.

Coom coom coom! Let me say: ...

Have them explode at the percieved rasism of others?

ook ook bix nood

a mild hint of unease or resentment

Put at least two characters into your story, so they can talk to each other.

>even having to mention they're black
racist

this, but kind of unironically, have other people react to the character in relation to their race and the character reacting rather than trying to make a character sound a certain way, no one announces their race every 10 seconds (well actually black people do do that sometimes but dont do it)

PROTIP: Try to have actually met a black person once in your life.

Examples of doing it right: Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Wolfe

Examples of doing it wrong: William Gibson, Stephen King

>Try to have actually met a black person once in your life.
lol, is it possible to be american and never meet a nigger? youd have to be one of those disabled kids that gets locked in a windowless room by their backwoods abusive parents for that to happen

this.
Have the reader figure it out that a character is black by themselves.
For example make it so other characters distance themselves from your black character because of the smell, describe their facial expressions everytime the black character says something stupid and so on. Maybe put it one or two instances where the character is being arrested and / or shot by the police, just for clarity.
Just reducing them to their skin color is quite frankly racist.

"OOGA BOOGA where da whyte wymin at? Sheeeeeeiit i din kno da poe-lease be here nd shit"

this without the malignant sarcasm

Make them cute, autistic, teenage girls from middle class cornball nigger families

TELL ME WHERE SUCH QT DUSKY SKINNED AUTISTS LIVE! IS IT CALIFORNIA???

Like Bram Stoker or Lovecraft.

Attached: P_20190823_212116_1.jpg (1956x2608, 2.01M)

In my stories

Unironically though, unless you're describing the character from a different character's perspective never bring up skin colour.
So it could be like
"He was a tall dark skinned man with short curly hair the colour of coal"
Or "I rustled through my thick curly black hair with my hands" and give out other hints they're black from inner thoughts or how other characters act.
Also, for black people speech try and do something that reads like a southern twang kind of accent mixed with an urbanite/NY type accent.

I have a mixed charachter. I just based him off of a former friend. Like IDK, have you really never had any interactions with black people beyond talking to service workers and having teens annoy you?

same way you write women.

Attached: takeitallaway.jpg (480x270, 14K)

Do you only know black people or what? Asians, especially, never act like they have a problem with society. Only poor whites do this. Mexicans, middle-class or poor, tend to not even mention their shitty situation unless it is an emergency or in joking.

Read some Faulkner.
I don't know any black people, so he's what I have to go on.

So you just don't?

>Asians, especially, never act like they have a problem with society
youve talked to 2 asians tops

Why on Earth would you want to?

Attached: 220px-Cho_Seung-hui_3.jpg (220x283, 16K)

>help me culturally appropriate black folk
fuck you

Still need to watch this show,been on my backlog for years.

None of what you said ever existed in the reality of ever, but damn if it it doesn't give me inspiration to write such characters.

Like white people, but with free SPF 10

Attached: Doggg.png (315x280, 108K)

Like anyone else, just without accountability, or reason.

This!

Write fictional people, describe their skin as dark, their ears long and their hair white.

Write him like a normal person and then focus on the reactions of ppl around him expecting him to act "black".
Like when i meet some random russian kid and he talks to me like hes on those awful american gangsta rap videos

Attached: 64224372_438569750056977_7894641500594634752_n.jpg (320x320, 14K)

This interview can give you some inights, OP

comicbook.com/comics/2018/02/23/christopher-priest-interview-black-comics/

Attached: download.jpg (259x194, 21K)

Maine is 99.9% white and the few afro-americans that settle there get BLEACHED within a couple generations. That's why Susannah from the Dark Tower sounds like a '70s blaxploitation movie.

youre such a confirmed retard it's hilarious.

Wardine be cry

hate niggers

french girls make wine with their smelly feet

Attached: smelly wine.png (645x912, 564K)

and free government cheques

>control f "wardine"
was not disappointed.

Mention Ebony skin once or use an African name.

Why would you want to? But if you must, just read some Mark Twain for inspiration.

Yes. Save for the few good people I’ve known that just Happened to be black, then I would be full blown racist against blacks. Fucking niggers ruin it for the rest of blacks.

Attached: 63FA18D0-F879-4E1C-BE4D-31CC387814C9.jpg (678x1024, 56K)

Remember, they call each other "nigga", not "nigger": no hard r.
"Nigger" is our word.

>mfw "A duplicate file already exists HERE"

Attached: Bill of the Hill.jpg (548x582, 88K)

Both versions being equally inaccurate representations...

>Asians, especially, never act like they have a problem with society
You must have been born yesterday, so welcome to the world!

just write about a black guy who grew up around white people

You know that user that was writing the book that was over 50% "NIGGER"? Well replace that with "WHITEY" and you've got the modern black person's mindset

May this wise proverb serve you well: “I don’t have to do anything. All I have to do is be black and die.”

yousa welcomen

lingojam.com/JarJarBinks

Attached: aaas.jpg (620x394, 37K)

make them niggerlicious CIA/ NSA agents.
or maybe MIT afro americans.

When in doubt refer to the flowchart

Attached: how to be black.png (1069x411, 158K)

You have to know a black person.
Start by visiting a community college library or something.

But I've talked to black people and they're literally just people there's nothing distinctive about them from the people around them other than their appearance. Should I just write the character as a normal person with black skin or should I give in to /pol/ meme psychosis?

"Ayo Tee, whatchu orderin? Whatcho girl ordering?"

"Don't you start in on him-"

"Yo, Tee, you better not order for her finna pull it back to this Nigga-"

"Clarence Jermane.. "

"Dude, don't, just don't"

"Yo Tee, you ordered a hotdog in mo'fuggin Paris, not me. But fine-"

" he ate what? "

" oh yeah Tee a gourmand he thought he was getting some fancy rustic shit.

"Tee, whyd you order that?"

"it was a sausage, not a hot -"

"Yo, Tee if it no thing why you always clarify, 'ahem, It was technically a hotlink made of venison...'

" dude it was pork sausage, not a hot dog. Hot dogs have beef "

"Ooo-"

"French love their pork"

"only beef?"

"yeah by definition"

"what about turkey hot dogs that white people eat?"

"they don't have turkey hot dogs in France."

"Yo tee I bet if France ever gets turkey hot dogs, you'll just know, like a revelation in your heart."

"why is this so funny to you?"

"Sailor boy needs to lighten up over here. Do they restrict your oxygen in those submarines? Do they gots fuggin colored oxygen?"

Like DFW did

"Pardon me, Heather? Yo Heather! Heather, hey, yeah, look, sorry you got the rowdy NWA table but ima have to ask you to please cut off my friend over here before he films his Netflix special by the lobster tanks."

"Oh my God, you guys are totally fine, like super cool, don't worry about it. I work here all summer and this is a slow Thursday. Usually we're slammed with hotel gue-"

"Pardon me, Heather?"

"Ayo Heather!"

"Heather!"

"thank you, oh and can we get more biscuits, pretty please?"

"oh of course, just the one basket or would you like me to refresh all four?"

"Yo dis white gurl serious?"

"who asks if you want less biscuits?"

"white people math"

"yes please wed like more biscuits for the whole table please and thank you, Miss Heather."

"oh my God you guys are great, haha. No problem"

"YO Heather where's the drink menu?".

"Can we have more water... And iced tea?"

"I need more club soda with an orange slice please"

"if you order the Patagonia tooth fish, does it come with the little lantern Antenna?"

"Ceeg, I think those Singapore Slings giving you oceanic hallucinations."

"it's just a white fish"

"like Patagonia tooth fish swap wives?"

"Clarence Germane... Please-"

"Yo that's just being real. I didn't make white people gross and weird. God or Allah did or Dr. Yakub-"

"here we go"

"Ceeg we like this place, don't do this here."

Just be honest.

Attached: 1561845299217.jpg (576x1024, 65K)

>But I've talked to black people and they're literally just people there's nothing distinctive about them from the people around them other than their appearance.
I didn't say "meet them to know their evil ways".
Black people are of course just people. But they do have slightly different humorisms and culture quirks that make them unique. These can be negative, but mostly there just neutral aspects.

Before making your character I would highly reccomend reading a short novella called the Secret Life of Bees.
It's not very good, but it's somewhat relevant to what I just described.
Aka its just a book a black person wrote.

Learn the way they think to make a convincing character.

The same way that you would write white characters. Maybe give them one or two throwaway lines about how they just discovered something about white or Hispanic people that they didn't know before. (e.g. "Derek was surprised. As a black man from New York, he never would have guessed that it was normal for people in Latin American countries to live with their parents until marriage.")

looks like bait to get white guys to say the N word and then ruin them afterwards

You write a normal person, You make them a bit dumber than you normally would, You insert at least one instance of terrible violence and some "ghetto words". Here, You're done.

so your story is set in a prison

Save for the few good people I’ve known that just Happened to be white, i would be full blown racist against white people.

He would know that

Literally half of people act like they have a chip on there shoulder

The same way you write tentacle monsters, but give them a human form and only one penis.

;-)

Attached: anti white hate PoC LOL.jpg (1024x1003, 156K)

>Yes. Save for the few good people I’ve known that just Happened to be black, then I would be full blown racist against blacks.
You just need more class consciousness. Humanize the noble portion of any and all upper classes and disregard the rest. They are the ghettos, favelas and crime.

where are they from? think about how you would write about a white from mississipi vs one from rhode island

raquando ooga ooga bish bash bix nood

beat me to it

this isn't going to end well

Attached: 1553083316173s.jpg (103x124, 2K)

adopt a paradoxical attitude of low executive functioning and unbridled arrogance

Imagine a white character, and take away reason and accountability.

Based

Based

This isn't exactly easy since blacks act way differently around each other than they do around non-blacks. It's like multiple personality disorder when you see it happen for yourself.

Read Pynchon

Read as blacklog

Need to get off this site

>limited notion of "blackness”
I’d call it generous.

Just have them behave exactly like a white character. That way everyone knows it’s fiction.

there are many ways to write black people, you can write them :
-in criminal records
-in unemployment polls
-in welfare forms
-in sex abuse registries
etc etc

Where I was raised, every nigger acted the same. I was friends with a lot of them. In the south you are forced to be near them by proximity.

Just make them drug dealers, pimps, and other criminal professions.

>Why the FUCK do I write black characters.

Unless you fuck her good enough.

Hey, OP, I'm sorry if this thread wasn't more productive, but know that you've helped me start an AAVE-based project I've been considering for awhile.

Upvoted XD

Most of the people ITT are non American and it shows. I bet yall bring white sauce to a cookout, pff

which is her right as the creator of the character

> "ay yo look at dis cracka trayin to rite black folk he finna get dabbed on"

Attached: tenor.gif (498x359, 453K)

Don't think of Blackness as a trait. Think of what the character is, and what they go through in your media. I.E. for your attached image.

Her blackened frizzy hair reached towards her neck, its darkened tone complimenting her brown skin and hazel eyes. She had clothed herself in a redish-pink v-neck, showing the edges of her collarbone.

Shit like thaf

If you would like to write a minority character without risking stereotypes (and destroying your chances of getting published thereby) a technique I rely on is to write them as featureless "mannequins".

I focus on their personality and inner traits, and then only afterward specify their race.

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from da stairhead, bearin' bowl o' latha on which mirror n' razor lay crossed.

WARDINE BE CRY

>inform readers that this character is black
>write them like you would a white character except less stiff
Nobody will know the difference

Barbarian/ Caveman/ Rober= Rapper

haha

based

First you type b, then l, then a, then c...

actual good advice

write them as toddlers but call them black

There's only been one good book about this, and it was a Yea Forums original.

Then, out of her thicc lips spoke words in an angelic tone, with clarity and strength of an independent woman, "EH YO, WERE MY 20 DOLLA FO SUCIN DAT DICK"

Sir Stealsalot rode up to the policeman on his conveyance, a pink girl's bike which had been reported stolen hours earlier and which, even just by looking at it, clearly did not belong to Sir Stealsalot. "Ay yo bitch, ay FUCK YOU pig, I'mma be needlessly aggressive and suspicious, and if you react I'll become even more difficult and start screaming and rooting around in my baggy clothing so that you aren't sure whether you is gonna die tonight, and you'll be forced to make a bunch of split second decisions when you is already high strung from your long shift!"

It was hard for the policeman to understand Sir Stealsalot while he was a-hootin' and a-hollerin'. It sounded like rap lyrics. The policeman, a flawed man of ordinary intelligence, tried not to think of the training videos he had seen of cops being torn to pieces by feral chimps in hoodies. He hoped that Sir Stealsalot would go away. The radio was telling him about a domestic abuse call at the apartment block where he frequently saw drugged-out single black mothers raising dozens of children in inhuman levels of filth, and occasionally killing a few by criminal negligence. The dispatcher on the radio was a black woman as well. There were no qualifications for her job, and she regularly got emergency callers killed by being inefficient and apathetic. The policeman suspected she was slightly mentally retarded, but he never said anything.

In the interim, Sir Stealsalot had abandoned his pink girl's bicycle and begun fighting a random pedestrian. Instead of fighting him normally, in the way you might see a human fight another human, he was wildly swinging his arms back and forth like the fighting minigame in Chronicles of Riddick, where you could infinitely chain left and right haymakers by alternating the left and right trigger buttons. The person he was striking was unconscious, but Sir Stealsalot kept striking him. The policeman knew that brain damage had already occurred, and that several lives were ruined. Around Sir Stealsalot were many black men and women, who had begun filming the event with their cellular phones, laughing and talking indifferently about it amongst themselves. The policeman detained Sir Stealsalot, and was later arraigned and investigated three separate times for racial bias for not being polite to him in the squad car. The mother of the man with brain damage complained on Facebook that the crime was the fault of white people, and raised her remaining two sons to be criminals. The main with brain damage had also been a criminal prior to the incident, as had his father.