Trying to see what she's reading

Why closed mouth, at that point you're going to be sued anyway.

Walk over to her and explain how lonely I have been for so many years now, before breaking into tears while she cradles my head in her arms.

>she
>her

I wish I had the confidence to be this autistic

Mind your pronouns bigot this is a sister board to /lgbtqp/

that (((nose)))... hmmmm......

At first I don't know. I keep staring for a few more moments. My mouth is open. I think. I close it. Yes, it was open. But is my memory faulty? It might have been closed the whole time and I only remember it "closing" when it was actually always closed. No. She's still looking. I still don't know. No, I do. I look her in the eyes and take a step forward. I open my mouth. Why are my hands behind my back? That's weird. I let my hands fall to the side. No, now that's stupid, who just lets their hands hang there like that? This is stupid. I cross my arms. I look at her again. She's still looking at me. I close my mouth. This time I'm sure it was open. Pretty sure. Like 7/10 sure. I uncross my arms. I open my mouth.
"So you ever, uh..."
The words sort of fade in and out of existence as they exit my mouth. Nothing makes sense.
"Have I what?"
Jesus. What have I done? I take a rock out of my breast pocket and put it in my front pants pocket then take the rock that was formerly in my front pants pocket, now replaced, and put it in my left back pocket.
"Were those rocks," she asks.
"I have to be going."
Run away as hard and as fast as I can, so hard that when I am finally forced to stop by convulsions I collapse on the ground and begin vomiting. I look back to see that I've only gotten about 30 feet away from her. She's looking at my as I lay there, crying, puking the Totino's pizza rolls I had for lunch all over myself. I piss my pants.

this is how I met my gf

this is how i met my gf

this is how i met my gf

based

Why does all of Yea Forums think every ethnic nose is Jewish? That one is wide and short, not protruding or beaky. She's reading a Medieval Christian book and looks Anglo Saxon with maybe some vague Eastern ethnic mix.

The easy answer is to politely ask her if the book is worth reading. If you've already read the same book, give her a strange take on it.

>Why does all of Yea Forums think every ethnic nose is Jewish?

Speaking of Jewish noses:

>An organisation representing Jewish communities in Europe are demanding the removal of a “racist and humiliating” depiction of Jews as having large hooked noses from an online dictionary of Flemish sign language.

theguardian.com/world/2019/sep/18/remove-hook-nose-sign-language-gesture-jewish-group-demands

Should dictionaries be censored to protect minorities?

What do you study user? Is it philosophy?

English. :(

Looks like it says "Bronze Age" btw.

That book doesn't even have an author? The fuck is it?

Someone just read Watt.

this is how i met my gf

Whatever you do, don’t ask her what she’s reading

>she
user, i...

this is how i met my gf

lmfao

Attached: a09.png (772x804, 479K)

>you seem really into that... hammock ;)

>The easy answer is to politely ask her if the book is worth reading. If you've already read the same book, give her a strange take on it.
>If you already read the same book
Pleb. Anyone on Yea Forums long enough learns how to talk about a book they never heard of, let read of before.

>Instantly know from the cover that she is reading the Eyrbyggja saga
>ask if it’s for school or for fun or some other reason
>engage in deep conversation about Medieval Icelandic culture and literature
>make new fren

>Eyrbyggja Saga
based

Rape this girl like the Icelandic Vikings in this story.

Attached: eyrbyggjasaga.jpg (319x500, 80K)

Stop it

This is going to bother me every time this picture gets reposted now.

My penis suddenly erects.
"The will of the flesh triumphs over the spirit"
I unzip my pants and start wrapping it with grass.
I go to a horse and feed it to him.
The horse spits it casually, i stump it with my bare feet until its just a spot in the ground, a curious ant walks over it.
I leave.

Attached: an1vRxb_460s.jpg (460x460, 43K)

Never mind, based anons already answered it twice and I’m just a huge dummy.

She looks like a cross between Jackie Kennedy and Charlotte Clymer

*Murphy

Switching rocks between pockets was from Watt, was it not? Was the first part from Murphy? I have yet to read that one, the first part is very much Beckett though.

Use your 2nd commandment burger
shoot her she's a threat

smile and wink for your sneaky/mischievous behavior

>Run away as hard and as fast as I can, so hard that when I am finally forced to stop by convulsions I collapse on the ground and begin vomiting. I look back to see that I've only gotten about 30 feet away from her.
kek

This happened to me the other day.
I would love to be able to safely approach said femail and just say "What are you reading" and not worry about what's going to happen.

Based

FPBP, except instead of smiling, you should keep your expression completely neutral
unbased and blue-pilled

Attached: yoga.webm (1620x750, 2.77M)

Source?

Look at her with a bland stare and use my right hand to put back my cowboy hat and approach her and say
>Howdy darlin', whatcha readin'?
Then proceeded to pick a piece of grass from the ground and put it into my mouth and chew it like the cool guys do in westerns all the while starin' right into her goddamn books so I can figure out what the hell she is reading. After I do that, I just leave, I don't even care if she says anything, I just wanted to know what she was reading. After all that, I jump up into my horses' saddle and ride off into the cold blazing western sun in New Texas, Mexico.

"Nice hooters, babe"

i want to watch about 6 hours of this girls exercise videos now

Something about her fills me with energy. Her body and its movements are good for morale.

>>Something about her fills me
gee i wonder what

She caught me looking at her, but I was just trying to see what she was reading. We make eye contact, she smiles at me and I find myself smiling back. She blushes. I did not notice her, I just wanted to know what she was reading. She was so absorbed in her book that I could not help getting curious, now she looks at me with that same concentration, and she is smiling at me. I have forgotten about her book, my curiosity is now about her. I start to walk over to her and the nervous stomach starts in, there is some gurgling, I make wind.

I think I just shat myself a little.

I almost laugh and my smile turns to a grin. Her smile gets bigger, I can see her getting excited by the possibilities.

I am now fairly certain that I did shit my pants.

She sits up and sets her book down, she thinks I just lost my nerve, started to doubt the signals and is making her intent as obvious as she can. I notice the bathroom beyond her and I know if I go straight there I will lose, so I walk up to her.

"You smiled at me and my mind ran wild with thoughts of our future together, the weight of those thoughts made approaching you set my nerves on edge, I feared losing a chance for the future I saw. Long story short, the butterflies started flapping and I think I shat my pants little. I am going to go survey the damage and see if my underwear can be salvaged, would you like to join me for a drink?"

Her smile gets bigger. She laughs and I join in. She has not broken eye contact, she is going to say yes.

It works everytime.

politely smile then look away and go about your business like a normal person and not an autistic sperg. you are a normal person and not an austistic sperg, right, user?

how to have your sense of humour user?

He stole it, everything but the last bit was Beckett.

eyrbyggja saga

>were those rocks
I'm fucking dead

glare at her

"What are you reading"
"Die, fag"

Wait. I knew this girl in college. (Great job putting her name in the filename to help Yea Forums[nel] creeps to find her online, by the way.) Where the hell did you find this image?

I took a couple of classes with her. She was a good, serious student.

Definitely a real girl; no question about that if you saw her and heard her speak in real life.

I can't say for certain that she isn't ethnically Jewish, but I really doubt it, and at any rate she's (not memeing here) an evangelical Christian who had been involved in I forget what campus ministry. Probably would not respond well to sexual advances, since she was also a bit of a feminist (though of course not radically or obnoxiously so).