Write what's on your mind

I don’t want to be the one to tell you, but she’ll grow up and have less time for you. And become less awe-inspiring as she confirms to the rest of the world. Channel those feelings into something platonic, and teach her as much as you can to make sure she can stay distinct as a person, but also so that you are each happy having known each other. Art, literature, critical thinking, and technology shit. Help her find an interest while she’s still able to pick one up and turn it into a talent. If you do nothing but lounge in your feelings, she’ll become dull, and you’ll both stop caring about each other.

This reminds me of a dude in my French class who seemed obsessed with Alizée and when the teacher asked us to bring some video in French to class he had J'en Ai Marre in his flashdrive and made everyone watch it in class. God, the cringe was fastly approaching The Office levels specially because the guy made little self-contained dance moves, the girls kept looking at him, the guys tried to muffle their guffaws and the teacher was 100% oblivious about the whole situation and kept pausing the video to ask us the meaning of certain words/expressions from the lyrics. Jesus Christ, man

The problem is I’m never around her. It would be a miracle for me to not only be around her but to also further my being around her. That is why I’m so motivated to make myself better. I realize it’s an unlikely dream, but that’s what makes it so valuable.

InthenditdoesntevenmattterFUCK

I can't tell if i want to write because i like writing or if i just want attention. Like most other things in my live i am so motivated to do things that i can barly sit still but once i am given the opportunity to do it i wish to be anywhere else. I know this has nothing to do with anyone or anything else despite my willingness to blame them it is entirely my falt but acknowledging this does nothing to convince me otherwise. I feel nothing at the fact that i am wasting away in my parents house digging a deeper and darker hole every day

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Death in Venice

STOP IT, GET OUT OF MY HEAD. Tell men, user, did you go to school? What did you major in? Have you ever done an honest day's work in your life?

Gangsta's Paradise is the only rap single I like. It's a sober reflection and critique of a systemic problem that plagues the African-American community even to this day. The lyrics were carefully chosen, it's obvious that it took effort to produce this musical masterpiece. the theological themes also fit surprisingly well, Coolio essentially equates the gangsta lifestyle to being in a heaven filled with guns, money, drugs and bitches, yet it feels hollow and void of meaning, which is ultimately what being a criminal does to you, you hurt others and yourself.

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Im a person who feels attraction towards people whom i barely see or know. For example i like one cashier but i limit myself not looking at her face too long because then illusion might fade away and i'll find something i dont like about her.

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How does a person know when they don’t belong in the world? The world will tell you. Everywhere you’ll look, the reflection stares back: you’re an outsider, you’re sick, somethings wrong, You noticed these signs at an early age, but the nativity of youth prevented you from totalizing your full future scenario that’d been laid ahead. One day you pull up google and type an unfamiliar word you once heard. You skim the definition; your brow furrows; you get a pitting feeling in your stomach. You’ve found yourself.

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I'm about to get my associate and I'm not sure if I want to study EE anymore. Everyone always told me it was a great career and that I was "smart enough to do it" but now I feel it's pointless. I don't want to do it, but I don't know what else can I do. I have always been surrounded by engineers and I thought I wanted to be one of them.

get it so you have a backup that will let you live comfortably if you need it, it's just a couple years of your life.

I think that people who cant form close relationship dont not belong in this world because they're lacking critical cognitive functions.

I been doing this for 5 years already. I got memed into studying in US. I'm grateful since I was able to learn English, but that took me 2 and a half years. I'm 24 years old, married, and I'll barely get an associate in something which I don't like at all.

This is vanity. You're not special. Your suffering is not unique.

Eventually you will find a comfortable energy state. It's only a matter of time. We offer comfort zones in a variety of appealing colors, including Nuclear Family, Opioid Addict, Extremely Literary Suicide, and You've Already Found It.

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>the nativity of youth prevented you from totalizing your full future scenario that’d been laid ahead
Yikes. I sure hope you don't write user - there's enough suffering inflicted on the innocent in this world.

I never went back to school. even back in high school i was like this im pretty sure they only let me graduate because they felt bad and i was in an "alternative learning program."

I have worked, in high school i made custom wood furniture and did refurbishing but moved on to roofing. I managed a month of it before i became to self conscious. Back then i told myself it would be better for everyone if i just quit because i couldn't keep up with the pros who have been doing that shit for 28 years now i see that it was an excuse and none of them looked down on me but even now i when i see them in the street i look away.

I think this all started in high school. People often called me a "child genius" specifically when it related to biology. I went to several psychologists when i was yunger because people legitimately believe i am autistic. The prospect of becoming a biochemist and working with proteins in any capacity legitimately git me up in the morning and even now it still does but one day in school i read some study about how that entire field (and the science's in general) was oversaturated and highly competitive. Needles to say growing up being told you are retarded and "thats a good thing" didn't do much good for my self esteem amd the moment i read competitive i killed my own dreams telling myself i should take the safe route and get into trades.

They did conclude that im a high functioning autistic but i dont believe them

tjis is the strrma of counsciousness yess sir so senor also fick offf with your gramatical shit because i have too tyoe too fast i just wanted to say thank you come agian to brazil po in loo thats it finna get coochie my negro oh and i just wanted to sya that merry christmas to you mr robinson very very good christmas for you and have sex you freaky incel nazi freak

I can totally see that happening. There is something about her that attracts the attention of the most oblivious guys. One of my more spergy friends, who happens to share my penchant for her music, although for different reasons, also did something similar as the guy in your story. We were at a house party where my friend disliked the music that was being played and hijacked the laptop with Spotify. He proceeded to play Moi Lolita, which obviously sparked a multitude of disapproving reactions that he tried to defend himself against by saying that her "lyrics are actually really good" and "unlike other pop singers she has actual talent and doesn't just abuse her sexual allure." Yeah right.

>Jacquie et Michel
>Alizée
Pourquoi

You know you’re not special. Life’s been lived over, being anything unique is impossible. This brings you a further sense of longing for meaning. Somehow, you were deluded in the possibility that your story’s ending would do the impossible. Deep down you still know that’s not right, though. You remember how to do the impossible, you could never go alone. This sinking feeling in your stomach becomes almost
unbearable. You’ve got this regret that you’ve become to realize how alone in life you should be; that squandered athleticism, your handsome face, wisdom. But how can you regret that which you’ve wanted most, you’ve done nothing but chase to be alone. At this point, you begin to think. We’re you running, or did you just never stop searching?

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I hate most of you.

It’s not good writing, but it’s what my brain likes to do. It feels good to flesh out words and just string shit together. And no, I’m not a writer. I build shit

I feel like I just fake having strong opinion about everything, and would just prefer spending my life reading poetry and admiring nature instead of reading philosophy and debate about politics; but I want to be more.

i know that my life is not a movie or book where deus ex machina happens. atleast not in a good way.

I run on hope and I feel like my tank is running low.

For your own sake I urge you to read more/look at some yt videos about creative writing or something. Writing cringe will earn you nothing but ridicule, which'll only make you feel bad when you attempt to express yourself in public.

There's a big tree on Starr Street that like imported and elderly, the kind you'd see in covers of Japanese novels. White wood, bare besides, yellow leaves, no shadow. It radiates a good energy is what I'm saying. The comfort of an inert thing.

I'm the one who always replies with a "average" when they ask how do I feel. It's weird that it shocks people, I want to feel well most of the time

Thanks for the suggestion and I will if I care enough. Otherwise though, I’m not very good at creative writing, or anything creative for that matter. My verbal memory is too weak.

the civil rights act, just like the 13th amendment, was a contrived and unconstitutional subversion of the american political system. it never consulted or addressed the opinions of the majority of those who would be affected (the white majority in segregated states) and only served to encourage harsher resentment towards african-americans. no other minority population (excepting jews) has used such laws to integrate within anglo-american society, and as a result they've all received universally better treatment and optics from the average anglo-american man, eg the model citizen. the civil rights act just served to exaggerate the otherness and perceived privilege of blacks and inadvertently contributed to every racial and cultural tragedy they've experienced from the 70's onward, including gang culture, police violence, and the resurgence of white nationalism.

I feel like I'm always busy. I keep a to-do list and I always end up with like, 15 items a day. I don't even feel exceptionally productive.

FUCK NIGGERS AND FUCK JANNIES
I'm not racist I just really hate jannies

the real solution would have been to actually do reconstruction, but whatever floats your insane racialist boat

I want to shout, I want to cry, I want to laugh, I want to fly.
There are so many things I want, yet it all leaves me lost. Meaningless short-lived passions begetting nothing but a sense of confusion and fear. What is it that I truly want?
Merely a fool or am I a sinner?
I have never practiced religion but maybe I should, sometimes I feel what could only be deacribed as grace when contemplating God, but I'm scared to even open myself up to that.
I fear, I fear, I fear.

youtube.com/watch?v=xwtdhWltSIg

I would like to try astral travel, but I fear that it would fuck my mind forever. I'd just do LSD again, but I haven't spoke to any of my druggie connections in years.

Well good luck then man

slavery was an abhorent practice, that's undeniable. but a lot of what the union congress did in order to pass the 13th amendment was underhanded, immoral and essentially unconstitutional - illegal lobbying and coercion of the members of the house, terms of surrender which prevented southern confederate states from rejecting the changes, and the deliberate obfuscation of the issue whenever it was discussed with the american public. i agree that true reconstruction would've gone a long way towards the successful integration of freedmen into southern society, however, the most damning tragedy of that era was the precedent the 13th set for black people to be exempt from normal legal/social constraints

I'm starting to realise and accept that I did not spend my 20s trying to get into med school because I wanted to be a doctor so much. I did not. What I truly wanted and what I still desire most is knowing my life has a definite form. It is only after I gave up trying to get into med school year after year and entering the lowest level of the corporate world that I realised I wanted a job that would encompass my whole being because it would then provide a believable excuse for not having a social life, a romantic life, a sex life. But the truth is I don't want my job to be my life. I'd make a terrible doctor anyway. It's just that I have been a failure for so long that I cannot even imagine myself being succesufl in both private and professional life. Now I feel stuck in my current job, still living with my parents because I can't afford moving out and it's finally dawning on me I've wasted a whole decade of my life. I focused on an unattainable goal of med school not because I wanted it so much but rather because it would make my virginity seem somehow justified, it would make my lack of social life an understandable element of a doctor's life, and as for my sex life... well, women give me the impression like they could turn a blind eye to me being bad in bed if they could call themselves a doctor's wife and live a comfortable life, raise kids, and go on vacation with my money.
There is no point to this story. And that's the thing that frightens me the most. All this was for nothing. I did not learn anything, I did not come to any grand conclusion, I did not turn into another person.

I'm 31 and I'm too scared to go to a prostitute to lose my virginity. That is all there is to say about my private life.

>the most damning tragedy of that era was the precedent the 13th set for black people to be exempt from normal legal/social constraints
Hardly. No what really fucked up a lot of racial relations for the following century was how poorly the union implemented reconstruction. Nothing was done to attempt to change the southern economy away from pure agriculture, nor were proper labor standards put in place (for whites and blacks alike) to prevent sharecropping. One of the major reasons the great migration occurred in the first place was due not just because of unbearable racism but further because industrial jobs provided better opportunities, political and socioeconomic, to black Americans. A lot of the worst of racial relations could have been prevented if the north had actually reconstructed the south so to compete with northern industry.

Hell, you can see some of the more radical racial equality movements stem from old school northern labor unions. Had those unions been more widespread throughout the south earlier in America's history (and of course had they not been opposed and crushed at every turn by corporations and the state), American racial relations would look radically different.

The garden is inhabited by a sort of guardian deity, a protective force that seeks to maintain the beauty and tranquility of the garden forever. Indeed, the garden is perfectly maintained: the paths are well kept, the grass is trimmed neatly, flowers bloom and are replaced as seasons pass.

It's safe here. The garden knows, somehow, that it is meant to be visited. Human visitors are free to walk its winding paths or rest in the shade. Don't tarry too long, and don't fall asleep. You may wake frozen, repurposed as a living statue until the garden tires of your particular aesthetic.

Those who abuse the garden's hospitality will simply become lost, trapped in a shifting maze of greenery. When you tire, you will be drawn down into the earth by roots hungry for fertiliser.

>northern labor unions
something i'll have to look into, thanks user

...

...

I found my sounds poetry when debugging his laptop and it made me cry.

Im entering another depressive episode

bipolar?

nah, sometimes something happendes in my boring as life that "triggers" a depressive episode. Once it was because i met a girl on a plane that i really liked, once it was an anime. Its usually a panic attack followed by a month or two of severe depression. You get the point

I feel less human for having no creativity. I feel like I'm lacking much emotional intensity others feel, like my feelings are muted. I'll read about people who cry over certain poems or whatever and I feel nothing when I read it, even though I'll work to understand what the poem is about. I was in an art gallery once and saw someone gasp with emotional and exclaiming to a friend about how incredible the work was with tears in their eyes while I felt nothing for it.
The only works of art that have resulted in a strong emotional response for me were Moby-Dick and Rembrandt's paintings. I wish I could feel like others do. I think my lack of creativity is linked to this. I'll have ideas about a story or poem but when I go to write it my mind is blank and I cannot think what to write, though I know what I want out of the story. I used to go to therapy when I was more depressed than I currently am and my therapist couldn't understand this lack of creativity. My friends similarly think I'm lying, making up stories and characters is easy for them, I think it's because they're more human. I wish with all my heart for some creativity and emotion like others have. I cannot comprehend human creation and it's killing me. I live life like an automaton, the only difference is I can decide to shut down.

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Nice, how did you come up with this?

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Liberals that preach civility during disagreements should be shot in the head. Absolutely disgusting capitalist cucks that do nothing of value except suck the dick of the status quo. MLK was right about white moderates (though colour) doesn't really matter now yet at the same time it does however any colour can be a pathetic cuck) being a problem.

Same happens to me but i'm blaming my inability to feel subtle emotions and translate into creativity.
>Rembrandt's paintings
which ones?

Just started Uni again, riddled with anxiety when i'm not there, but when I am thee I am fine and feel confident

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Actually, I'm just going to change it to all capitalist cucks need to be shot in the head. Eggs. Omelette. Communism will win. Unironically.

I had a dream where a women was about put my dick in this contraption wherein my foreskin would be clamped in this rectangular frame and then somehow stamped by a kind of piston for the purposes of coming very hard. It was already stretched in place and I was on the verge of climax. She asked if she could clamp it but I remembered that I did not ask her if my foreskin would survive the procedure, though she seemed to have previously implied that it would, she confirmed that it would not. Disappointed, I refused to continue. She seemed mildly surprised and likewise disappointed. I still came, by the awkward stimulation provided by being softly placed in the contraption, but it was lame.

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>capitalist cucks need to be shot in the head

then go do it you little fucking faggot
but you wont, because you're the biggest cuck here

When a human is born, a new world is created. The same is true for other animals, for example: bees. The bee, like the human, is equipt with a variety of tools to comprehend its surroundings. It flies among flowers, perceives, with its tools, their presence, and, most of the time, it avoids collision, gathering honey, bringing it home, learning by doing and so on. I imagine ruff shapes in black and white (black being obstacles to avoid), colorful veils of smell drifting around the checkered patterns and so on.

Every living thing creates a world (and lives in its creation); I regard this sentence as true, no matter how small the lifeform is, no matter what form the world it created takes, and -- this is the crux -- regardless of the existence of a consciousness that perceives the created world.

I'm against this kind of argument:
Animals have experience, true, but there is nothing in their heads that sees the experience; we, on the other hand, have a crowd in our cinema, a watcher in the brain, and therefore we are better/greater/more important/above most, if not all other animals.

I'd agree with this kind of emotional argument:
Not many things are alive, the universe is mostly empty. What makes a lifeform a lifeform is, among other things, but first and foremost, its ability to create some kind of new world(: to create another shape in the prism for the light to reflect in). We humans are different insofar as we not only create a world, but "actively" live in it. Maybe this puts us above other animals. Nevertheless, the act of creation is of such (incomprehensible) beauty, and importance, that we are, if you are cool and buddhalike, obliged to be friends with all other content creators.

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No problem

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why was my love post deleted

Truly kafkaesque

I was in Amsterdam recently and there was one of a Scholar which had my mind thrown into feelings about this man and how he was, I felt that he was in a state of being that I'd never seen or read of any other human being like. It was like being told there was a whole new side to being human that had been kept hidden from me and this man's absent yet fully knowing gaze was revealing it to me. I stared into him for like an hour trying to see more, trying to grasp in what way he lived, existed, thought, was. In the end I could only sense hints of what his profound yet confounding gaze embodied. In that moment I realised Rembrandt was more than an artist or philosopher. He wasn't showing what people are like or speculating on their nature, he was showing what they could be, in many ways what they already are but don't, and likely never will, realise. It was as if God revealed in the paint what man truly was, but I could only feel it and not explain. Rembrandt goes beyond art for me ever since.

I was walking through the botanic gardens in my city and thinking about how this pocket of greenery had survived a hundred years. It was if it had a will to exist, a will of its own, and all the gardeners and accountants and volunteers it requires to exist were just extensions of its inhuman will. I thought about it continuing to exist even as the world about it crumbling, with ash-streaked survivors stumbling into the pristine garden in search of shelter.

Same here. Yea Forums is a treasure trove below the shit

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Been employed at the family business and lived at home my whole adult life. I need to live independently but my family is actively trying to prevent that. I don't make any money from my day job (they withold all of it so it all goes to the extended family for expenses, which is part of the reason I need to leave) so getting a car and apartment deposit is going to be hard, I don't have any credit or a degree and have absolutely no idea how to find housing or employment. I can't get any help from my family because they are part of a cult that doesn't want me to leave and I'm confident that all of my friends are in on it with them to. I've already tried the military and got rejected. Are there any guides for situations like this? I've seen that the Safe Passages organization is a thing but I haven't done much research. I'm not in any danger and don't have to make any changes immediately

Bump

pump

Trees. Do you know many so called mental illnesses could be cured by living a little in a place of nature? I can speak for my own case, when I lived out there I was something better than human. The so called "overview effect" but I didn't need drugs for it, I didn't need religion. I just needed what was there.
Instead I find myself thrust into the thick of people, a whole, churning, incalculable world into itself. It brings both hate and love in varying doses.

Now though--I truly feel that I am integrated into the Borg. If you will forgive the pop culture reference, but it is a fitting analogy. Increasingly, we are more like the Borg. The Borg more than just united in the information signals and inter-cranial connections, they are the "big insect" the larger, super-entity over and above them.

I truly feel we are at risk of such a fate if we do not smarted up.

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Yea Forums has the best taste on the internet. i trust no one but you guys for recs.

i have a shitty job i'm 30 IQ points too high to do, but places only hired based on who they think is "fun". my only hobby is literature, i don't do normieshit and i'm extremely introverted, so it doesn't matter how smart or competent i am, i will always have an uphill battle to get hired for anything better. we have all this god damned social justice, but only extroverts get in. now ALL different colors of extroverts hold hands to shit on introverts. i think the only cure for this would be for working at home to become the norm, then you would no longer be around fuckign coworkers and no longer be judged by how fun you seem to talk to.

my job pays so shitty i don't even think it's worth it to go to work. i may as well put a gun in my mouth.

in order to be kind you must have received kindness to begin with. a neglected child cannot nurture anyone else. a person who has received only hate and scorn looks upon the world with hate and scorn. children who are born with a silver spoon and loving parents go on to be kind, happy, successful people in a snowball effect of good fortune. there is no innate aspect of them that deserved any of it--mere fortune of birth decided their fate. whereas a child born into a house of hatred and agony will naturally become embittered, twice-shy, sceptical of outsiders, and hardened.

how can a child of fortune and child of misfortune be expected to compete fairly?

and the world will only heap more scorn, poverty, disdain, and contempt on the child of misfortune. as reward for the suffering they've survived, they get to enjoy yet more and more escalating, neverending suffering.

and they shall look at the child of misfortune and say to him, "what a horrible person! he deserved it."

i am born a poor man, poor of happiness, poor of kindness. how can i give to others?

just be a programmer
no one cares you're autistic and you get paid disgusting amounts of money

I don't comprehend how sex with 16 year olds is wrong.

go to bed stallman

I haven't showered in two days and my balls smell, still don't want to shower though.

Lovely.

Thank you guys, I hope containment doesnt brake to much soon.

Its shit. The garden doesn't have the will. The gardeners do. Without them any urban garden would get raped by civvies

Sex in general is wrong unless it is for the purpose of reproduction. And since 16 year olds are perfectly capable of conceiving, if not more fit than older women, then there is nothing wrong with impregnating them. But I believe this should only be done within marriage. And ideally this marriage would be built on true, pure, love beyond sensual desires. Sex is a sacrifice for the man and the woman for the purpose of creating a child. It should be a special and rare event. In other words, marriage should be built on love and not lust. And why is it wrong that a man love a younger girl?

I think the worst part was just the integration shock of Blacks into a non-slavesociety. Usualy when a new group trickles into an established one, they adopt the local conventions well and become integrated into society. However, with the abrupt end to slavery, you have a pretty massive population that is not gnetilly integrated into larger society, but is just plopped down to fester and form its own ingroups. So yah, basiclya failure in reconstruction.

>tfw didn't go with compsci
>went with "lol guaranteed job"
>sure there's always work but the pay is always shit
this is even worse than missing out on buttcoins. should blow my brains out.

I haven't been depressed in 2 years. I think it's because I learned to exert some control my own thoughts and consequently my mental state. But I can't help but feel like it's just temporarily contained rather than gone. There are still occasionally nights where the feeling inexplicably comes rushing back and I either go to sleep or push it back. I'm worried I'll lose control and I'm going to look back on this period in my life as a brief oasis of calm. Some of you guys are way older than me, please let me know if you've experienced anything similar.

depressed is what they call a thinking man

look, you have to "control your thoughts" to not be depressed. if you thought freely about everything and anything that occurred to you, you'd then become depressed? what does that tell you?

I love you all and want to become a better man.

I've wondered about this too, I resisted controlling my thoughts because I instinctually feel that I'm putting a limit on how far I can go intellectually. But what are you trying to say exactly?

Don’t listen to him. He’s trying to further your depression, likely because he himself is depressed, and hates that there are others unlike him. But he leans on his ego, and says “I am like this because of my intelligence.” Steer clear from these types of people and their ways.

I thought I liked philosophy, but it turns out I just liked the idea of being smart. I sat down to read for my classes today and realized i didn't understand a word of what I read. Is it worth it to keep struggling? Should i just try and overcome my brainletness by comitting myself autistically to studying phil.? Or should i just keep watching anime. I'm not sure.

Honestly I'm happy not wanting to kill myself even if it means limiting myself intellectually so I wasn't planning on listening to him anyway. But thanks. Any thoughts on my initial question?

I don't understand how you can read something without understanding it. If you don't understand a sentence you read, read it again and think about it until you do understand it. Don't just keep reading without understanding. And if you genuinely think you don't have any interest in philosophy, there's really no reason to pursue it. It won't help much in everyday life in comparison to most classes.

you don't need to be a 180 iq autist to think about things.

if you need to stop being honest with yourself in order to no longer be "depressed" then that depression is the natural, honest state of things. you can spend your entire life with your hands over your eyes or you can embrace reality and learn to understand yourself. depression is the initial level. keep looking, but don't look away.

nice kneejerk, midwit

My feet are sweating through my socks into the soles of my Converse and making a slippery squeak squeaking that I can only feel, but not hear. The traffic light on 5th Street and Broadhime sparkles bright red before shifting to holiday green and a motorcycle to my right peels off in gutteral engine noise. It's 12:30 AM, Miller time. The bars will be open for another hour and a half and the gay bars open until 4. Caelum shouts into my ear about drugs, I only catch a glimpse of the sound but I can deduce that we have enough weed on us to get us locked up for the night and then a quick appointment by judge sometime after. We've been drinking since 8 AM and we've both been complaining about our stomach pains since 11 AM.

The headshop on Juandias and Goldspring has equipped us with a cheap bowl to replace the papers we're both too clumsy and lazy to roll and then smoke and freak out if a cop or narc happens to stroll by with his torch in our faces calmly assuring us that we're gonna have to get into his car like a stranger without candy. We find a small parking garage. Lighting up I feel the disappointing buzz of a gigantic hit that reassures me that nothing will bring back the pleasure I once knew from this drug several years ago when I hit a bowl at a house party and listened to Snoop Dogg and shook my head up and down and then slowed and looked around in warped mole vision and the hip hop music tasted so golden vanilla honey and dark chocolate brown as angry black man words offended my ears then instantly soothed them into hypnotized crystals that shattered in my teeth with so little resistance that you would think it was impossible to feel pain, and now I'm here in the parking garage handing the pipe and lighter away and it feels like I've had my 8th cigarette of the day and knowing that I can never recapture such an important part of my youth and that it has faded away melts into my sight and the garage spins into a Jackson Pollock and I can't remember what else happened that night...

>I think it's because I learned to exert some control my own thoughts and consequently my mental state
What does this mean exactly? I don’t think such a thing is that significant to your mental health. There are other ways of improving yourself, which includes exercising, getting some sun, eating right and staying hydrated, socializing, working but not too much, devoting yourself to others/family/God, avoiding excessive lust, etc. Don’t expect to be able to simply willfully remove negative thoughts and feelings forever. You need long-lasting remedies. Rather than fighting off negative thoughts, you should be preoccupied with positive thoughts, leaving little room for the negative in the first place.

I tried every single thing you mentioned, none of it worked. Still do most of it actually. But I think I agree with your basic premise though, if what you're saying is that humans need to find or create meaning in their life in conjunction with meeting their basic needs and balance. I'm working on that, but I think one needs to find meaning that aligns with their personality to an extent. I've tried to go back to religion, but I can't feel God's presence anymore. I've become too reliant on reason to have faith.

I really am basically handicapped

i'm not even twenty two and i've overstayed my welcome here. i've lived a lot of life since graduating high school three years ago, probably more than a lot of people get the privilege of living in an entire lifetime, for which i am very grateful. but i feel like it's time to check out. i've not felt joy since i was a young child. i've had everything i've worked toward crumble to pieces in my hands. i'm a nuisance and a drain of resources. i am so tired. i narrowly avoided a fatal car crash and somehow came out unscathed, and a large part of me wishes the my head was a couple of inches to the right. then at least i wouldn't have to do it myself.

I was in the same boat as you, and was also depressed, almost suicidal, until I read Pensées and became Christian. I, too, thought I was too reasonable. My conversion, along with constant exercise, I think has been the main cause of my increased happiness. Now it’s like I am always above neutral in whatever I am doing. It’s not like I’m smiling ear to ear or anything, that’s just not my personality, but I still feel good throughout the day.

love you too user. best of luck to you

Well, if you keep telling yourself that how the hell do you expect to become unhandicapped?

I'll put him on my list, thanks, seriously. One question, do I need to do any prior reading? I've barely started Aristotle in my readings of philosophy.

No particular prerequisites necessary. You just need a humble heart and an open mind. If you read it, don’t skip anything, read it in order. Good night and God bless.

Proverbs 8:17
>I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Jeremiah 29:13
>You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

High quality individuals that don't engage in the fetishes, cliché talking points, opinions, and political views of media pieces, that never had sex for mere pleasure or drunk or did drugs because he or she can, are truly aspiring people and certainly very rare. I want to praise these high quality people for existing and fighting off the entropy that surrounds them. God bless them and grant them safe passage through out this degenerating world. I'm one of those high quality people and I could not be prouder of the man I am today.

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Rising out of mediocrity and slothfulness is going to be difficult for a brainlet like me. Change is something I fear but I fear my life passing me by is an even greater one.

Keep your head up user, when situations like that grace your life it is best if you don't waste them. I am no saint but I've been give multiple chances.

I think I am finally done being jealous of other people's happiness when it comes to relationships. I can be happy for them without needing to put myself down or feel envious.

>Do you know many so called mental illnesses could be cured by living a little in a place of nature?
That isn't how that works and you're a fucking idiot. Glad you don't need drugs because you realised you could stare at trees instead of like omg totally dealing with your like OCD because you like things to be neat but others who are actually affected by mental illnesses can't just go into nature and be magically cured.

Maybe you can cure us of your retardation and go into the sea next, twat.

>”Sex in general is wrong unless it is for the purpose of reproduction.”
I agree with the first part, but sex for reproduction is even worse.

There's this woman, she hates me for some reason. I love her tho.

Dealing with depressed people is annoying because they're already determined to be depressed. People are what they believe they are. They don't want to feel better. They just want you to feel as bad as they do. Every single one of them I've met seriously believes they are leeches upon society and offer nothing of value or comfort to others. And it's true. They work hard to be that way, because to be any other way means they have to reevaluate their worldview that everything is hopeless and nobody can help themselves. Many of them even reject the idea of seeing a therapist because it might mean putting in effort for self-improvement. Just last night a friend bitched and moaned to me about how pathetic his life was (it's pretty mundane, truth be told) for HOURS. Every time I brought up the idea that he might want to talk to a therapist or a counselor, he would tell me that it just wouldn't work with his schedule. He doesn't have time. He needs to sleep at some point. But he's perfectly fine playing FFXIV for 5 hours a day, hooking up with randos on grindr, and then staying up to 1:30 AM to explain in great detail why none of his romantic interests like him.

>because to be any other way means they have to reevaluate their worldview that everything is hopeless and nobody can help themselves.
As somebody with experience, I guess that I have to agree. You can get really stubborn with it, for very stupid reasons. First by refusing to admit there is a problem in need of addressing, and secondly by refusing to accept that there may be an issue with the way that you're conducting you're life.

>Moi Lolita
>"doesn't just abuse her sexual allure"
Oh the irony. The whole reason Alizée exists in the pop world is because Mylène Farmer wrote an album and thought it needed to be performed by a sexy teenager rather than herself.

>because to be any other way means they have to reevaluate their worldview
That brings unbearable pain.

'What is Metaphysics'

Terrible, terrible, puerile.

Analytic philosophy is garbage but reading a piece of crap like this almost makes me reel out of disgust back into it.

The few lines on boredom are the only worthwhile bits, but then I might as well just read Kierkegaard.

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Embrace the pain and use it, user. I believe you can.

My mind yearns for solitude but I won’t grant it such refuge only the fleeting delights of the sensory world.

I used to cringe at your dilettantism but now it just makes me sad for you, because it's been literally fucking five years and you haven't improved at all. Same surface-level poseur shit.

I am you in 10 years, a somewhat different path but the same. All I can think to say is we are all slaves to fate.

That's the new form of depression. Time was when people were depressed you didn't hear about it because they were too busy crying alone or being motionless. Now depression means something else, which is unsurprising because what resistance could a relatively small group of people who rarely make social contact pose against a social media storm of new expressions?

One of the saddest things is feeling your love for your first cat turn artificial the second you get a new one. It turning from genuine fascination to some kind of compensation, some IOU for the place in your heart it irreversibly lost to a newcomer. And seeing those eyes! helpless in storing all their trust in you and yet knowing, signaling you for an impostor, a traitor.

Depression has utterly obliterated my intellect. I can hardly muster the energy to exert myself intellectually, math is like torture, at least you can take a small amount of biological solace in physical exertion, but intellect provides no pleasure, nothing provides pleasure once you're this far gone, I'm like a plastic bag floating in the ocean, I sense things but I don't process them, I just move and move until the end.

People talked about their feelings and went to counseling before social media, user.

Not all of these are memories,
And not all of these are mine.
Tread wearily, uh, nursery rhyme.

>sorry for the gay shit youre about to read

This is not so much a stream of consciousness as the search for it. I will be very careful to try not to document or lecture, and dive right into my subject of study with you, the reader, along with me (I was reading Foucault when I wrote this. Too obvious?). One last warning: neither my English nor my prose are particularly apt or efficient. My Spanish isn’t either for that matter, though I may try it to see if it works any better. Advisory over, let’s get to the meat of the issue.
To avoid any repulsive metaphor, I woke up from my couch after what felt like a nap today, ninth of May, at 6:22 pm. Oh god! Lecturing already. Again.
Time, space and matter (not the same thing) flow congruently, like waves of light on motor oil and the northernest hemispheres, neat. Venturing outside for better footage, I find…

my ex' last msg translated from frog language
>Promises often betray us serendipity is the only thing that gives us above what we actually deserve.
what did she ment by this was I a promise for her or a coincidence I fu#&ing hated her father

I forgot how to make friends somewhere around 7th grade. I think myself above people who I then resent for not liking me.
I forgot how to like people.
I have always thought of myself as a likable person inside an unlikable shell, but now I'm starting to wonder if that likable me has rotten away and died forever.

I have absolutely no idea what the fuck she meant by it

Yeah sure dude, I feel sadder for you because you've been waiting literally fucking five years for me to throw out an opinion in a thread like this just so you could make that post.

>talking to your ex

She gets railed by Musulmen.

I cant deal with something which escapes 5 senses.

Yes but back then we called the people who acted in the new mode for depression "hysterical" and "neurotic" but rarely depressed. Now those are bad words, we need to call them something else, so we changed depression.

the first page is always clickbait threads, because clickbait threads always get bumped by morons

if you learn to ignore the first page, ignore even the second page, and look for threads that either have a good book-related OP or that accidentally transcended their clickbait origins, then you can read good threads

ignore the first page

remove phoneposter

ahhhhhhhh I want to live in the japanese countryside so bad but I don't want to wageslave for 12 hours a day like the stereotypical japanese salaryman

Headache aaaaah. Always headaches. Constant tension in my head. Always, always headaches. Driving me crazy.

You mean when /pol/ gets shoa'd?

> I want x but I don't want to do what is necessary to have x

I just want to play together with a little girl, and hug her. Without any sexual implication, of course.

yes user that's a pretty common feeling

I don't like books and I don't like anything else. I just want some interest that I could pour my time into but I don't enjoy anything.

Took some phenibut before work. I feel very confident in a way that I've rarely felt before. My mind is completely clear as I do my tasks and if I make mistake, I note it, think about how to prevent it in the future and move on. I never noticed how tense and anxious work usually makes me feel. It's very nice

What dosage? I've taken up to something like 1-1.5 grams before and never felt as confident as people have said they've been on it.

I'll be okay standing alone at a bar when I would have been anxious before, or maybe not have a problem just speaking out in groups, but I wouldn't really class that as confidence, just being comfortable.

>I wouldn't really class that as confidence, just being comfortable
same thing, doing something confidently is being emotionally comfortable doing it

That always raises a question whenever you're supposed to put more effort or take completely new activity.

What's with americans and their obsession of "taking meds"? No wonder they have the most mentally ill people in the world, you guys are obsessed with muh mental health.

One scoop? Something like 50mg? I take the default dosage front thr container, the powdered stuff. I don't have it with me right now

[Retreat. Retreat. Porcelain den, protect me. Exodus of bowels? Sure, while I am at it. Cannot really go wrong there. But what we really need to tall about is semifloor'ng and the abuse that has been seen amongst those priveleged enough for such recreation and structuring of the knowns and at-large. Take these gifts with more tenacity and utilize your sword arm, philosopher-kings. Speak of what we know. Speak of what we do. She came from the cold country, scorned and spurned, a squat goblin of intellect and thought. She sacrificed her - something?- for Rapture to be built and we took and were greedy and forgot the other half of the parable. We must create. We must build. We. Your hands. Look at them. For a moment. Look at your hand, dominant. Right or left. Look at the fingers. Look at your middle finger. Do you see the callous from all your hours of hard work? Do you see what you have created? Be proud and put it out there. The New Rococo Maxx Extinction Event Revival:Lite Sixth Time is upon us, brothers and cuter older onii-chan senpais out there. Stand tall. Get your jack boots on and your whiskey glasses out and your tomes and quills and pens and handwrite something. Hand. Write. Something. Let us pray in the name of Saint Real of Maar, Dearest of All Sisters, Vedette Nun Matriarch.]

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That's a good point. I always try something, burn out early and lose interest, then quit it.

that's an odd attitude to take towards an entire artform. maybe you've only read books you don't like? that's most books for most people

I want to quit the internet, but I'm afraid that if I do I'll turn in to some weird neo-luddite as it's pretty much the only modern technology I interact with.

You could also read my post as saying that I've been incapable of finding any books that I truly like, yes.

As I Lay Dying is comfy as fuck desu. Now that I'm not in high school anymore I can finally start to appreciate Faulkner on my own time (last time I tried The Sound and The Fury and just sorta... gave up. Mostly due to time constraints.)

Also, I'm left wondering just how much of a degenerate my partner is deep down, they still think trans ideology is "human rights" and are the kind of person to support human rights groups like Amnesty International. Is this some kind of Scottish tendency or have I simply moved on from babby's liberal ideology that a good portion of the population always seems to have? I love my partner to death and I don't want to risk "trading up" because things are only gonna get worse with regards to forming relationships anyways desu, plus we're both autists and our autismo actually meshes together pretty well. I should probably give the IEP entry on human rights a good read.

Thanks for reading, please don't feel the need to respond, I just wanted to write what was on my mind.

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were you the one with the nine year old?

yes, I don’t understand why that was deleted.

>they don't want to feel better. They just want you to feel as bad as they do
bpd

not sure. How did you come to know her if you don't mind me asking? I just can't imagine your situation

don’t wanna reveal too much, but she’s a friend of my sister. They’re on the same team and I’ve been to a few of their events and we’ve driven her around

Use that energy to create art, user; there's nothing purer.

I’m working on myself, trying to take control over my animalistic desires (nofap basically) and purifying my mind. I think I have good potential for inspiration but hopefully one day I’ll be better. The other day, I had a dream in which my friend had a dream, and in his dream was my casket, but it was filled with many bodies, all mine. Still within the dream, I asked him what he thought the dream meant, and he didn’t know, but I did. The bodies represented the potential paths of my life. No one yet knows what kind of person I will have been when I finally die. I don’t think of myself as an artistic person and I definitely can’t write well but I’m interested in developing myself

how many books have you tried reading? how do you try to find books to read? I hope Yea Forums isn't the answer.

>had a KFC binge last night and told myself it was the last time
>woke up today at around 8.30 am, not sure if it was enough sleep
>immediately had cravings for... fruit and vegetables (no joke)
>go to store and walk against the tide of people going to work
>immediately get cravings for a last binge ever
>buy pepsi, crisps, Ben and Jerry's, and peanut m&ms
>buy fruit and vegetables
>eat the junk food and then have fruit and vegetables
>browse internet, drink coffee, do chores
>feel tired because of bad sleep
>decide to skip exercise and going to a retailcuck interview
>go in to central London on a hot and sunny day
>walk through a large park
>listen to Cumtown podcast
>walk some more
>have literally nothing to do and nowhere to go
>go to British library and feel demoralised after seeing happy young people
>currently drinking coffee 3 hours early
>feel so aimless without any junk food to look forward to tonight
>not sure if I will go on my usual walk this evening if I've already had coffee

I checked my bank balance and I am doing much better than I expected, even after all the fast food binges.

I read about art hoes and felt sad because I was too ugly and loserish to even have a beta orbiter phase.

I saw the Francis crick institute and felt subhuman for not being a scientist. I saw a co-working space and felt subhuman for not having a fun job with cool young people or being a startup millionaire.

The pointlessness of my free time can't be overstated. How will I spend the next 6 hours?

pretty sure I have binge eating disorder, but I'm not sure how much of it is just coming down from stimulants

>to even have a beta orbiter phase.
Its for the best

how are you managing to be a neet in fucking london of all places? Aren't people with full time jobs living in garden sheds?

probably the drugs. I binge eat when Im drinking heavily and regularly, but when I stop drinking I go back to a very practical diet based on just building muscle/being fit.

what is a binge for Londonfrog? Like, do you just call it a binge whenever you buy fast food or are you actually fat as shit?

I have a job starting kind of soon. There will be lots of rants about that.

A typical McDonalds binge is two large meals and another burger. It used to be one burger higher than that but my appetite seems to have decreased.

Wondering why i'm drinking cheap lager and listening to Ride rather than doing work due for tomorrow

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Jesus, what's your weight?

you know why, scum
ganbatte kudasai

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You're Yea Forums's least interesting schizoposter but I still appreciate you, revisionistbro.

Oops. Somehow Yea Forums x made me reply to this thread instead of to this dude over in the Junger thread. Sorry for the misfire.

That picture looks like it would make a nice David Bull woodcut though.
youtube.com/watch?v=wbj83bxu3Kg

5 weeks into college and I've realized that the /neetlit/ life is superior to all else

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133 kg

>not neeting during college
I did maybe two hours of actual work a day in school.

Apart from the crippling self esteem issues

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>hes not interacting with people in college
prepare for life of regrets

>oh no, what will I do having not participated in vapid "clubs" and frat parties?

I fucking hate trannies and their larping as anime girls. I would pay thousands for a brief view of their suffering in hell.

Like it or not, the professional world is just one big gay college club meeting that never ends.

>not making connections

The declining populations of Europe and our eroding/dead culture.

I'm supposed to be studying for a geology quiz, but i'm too distracted thinking about a girl I took on a date once during my first semester at university. We both liked to read, and we talked a bit after she saw me reading Blood Meridian of all things. We got coffee, and I remember her telling me about her dreams to move to France. Ideally she could settle down on a vineyard and spend her days at market or curled up somewhere with a novel. We never had a second date, nor did we talk much after that. I stumbled across her facebook profile the other day. She graduated last year from my uni and studies someplace else. I can't remember where, just that it's in France. I'm glad she made it.

2:36 P.M.
Rare is the silent subway stop. Here at Bedford, the busiest of all stops on the L-Train line, one hears only the distinct hum of metro machinery, the shifting and shuffling of other riders, the distant railcar approaching. Here is transport removed of all social pretension. Rider turned pure cargo. Ahead of me a drummer now setting up. As the assembly grows louder others begin cell conversations, whisper to one another, some talking out loud to themselves now.

An amazing feeling: to feel the wind of an incoming train before you can even see it. Wind from nowhere and without cause. The feeling of pure speed while standing perfectly inert.

How is it that one can comfortably rest his head on the subway but not the bus? Even subway shocks at their most violent--in Manhattan on express lines or under the rivers that surround it, where one feels as though the car could unhinge and explode like the ancient locomotives that sped west across prairie and unperfected track in total darkness--even then one doesn't bang his head against the metal handles.

Despite the close proximity of the metro and the always unwelcomed noise of beggars and performers, the subway feels less intimate than the bus. The bus has contingency. Wheels upon the ground, the stops closer to one's actual home. The bus is the mass taxi; the subway an elevator made horizontal. "Transported" in the most futuristic sense: spontaneous relocation without reference to distance traveled.

WHY DON'T YOU GO READ BALZAC AND HAVE SOME FUUUN

Why do some people know what they want and others have not a single clue? Is it predestined?

Some people attach themselves to a goal or identity early on and aren't neurotic enough to question it

So people who suffer from neurosis cannot attach themselves to certain identity?

No, it's just harder for them, but ultimately more stable in the end of they can find an identity that works

Imagine the social cohesion

>ultimately more stable in the end of they can find an identity that works
How so?

Imagine a neurotic person who grew up in a religious Christian household that had a hard childhood and eventually learned to find a stable identity in Buddhism, I'm sure you've met someone like that. They've examined all of the different paths they could have taken and settled in something that they couldn't worry themselves out of. Contrast that with someone who has never questioned there beliefs, they are one honest conversation away from a complete upset in their world-view

That makes sense but also implies that weaker person has to do a much harder work to end up in a position where average person arrives relatively easy.

What's with Europeans and their obsession with Americans?

I'm asian.

Absolutely

I wish there would be some advantage at being neurotic but it really seems like hell.

A guy that's working with my dad fell off his motorcycle last month. After recovering from his injuries enough that he can get back to work, he works one day and hops on his motorcycle again. A bunch of stray dogs scare him and he falls again, getting even worse injuries.

He can't catch a break.

My farts smell really bad just like my mother in law's food.

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It's getting noticeable more difficult to wake up early nowadays. I keep going to bed late and the accumulation of lack of rest is becoming noticeable.
I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of everything really.
My mothers dying and it's been a slow, painful process for the past two years, a part of me wishes she's would go now just so it's over but I know that's bad of me. I've built some sort of huge, concrete, emotional wall to stop myself from feelings and it's pushing me away from everything now. I don't speak to my friends much anymore and my girlfriend is constantly worried about me.

I wish my mum was fine. It's not fair.

:(

I will NEVER experience again the warmth of being embraced by a qt girl on a brisk autumn afternoon amidst the flutter of leaves and gentle swaying of the trees.

why why why I had one chance and I fucked it up,

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I walked past the bushes when my mom showed up. "Stop here!" she said while watching me pee all over the place. I didn't know what I was doing so I started crying and arguing with her. "Really?" I said then ran away as she tries to shoot me with one of her shoes.
I came across a building and I entered it, without thinking about what it was. I soon realized I entered a luxury hotel, and everyone was watching me in the corridor as I was all dirty and still half-dressed. I cried even more and picked what was in my pocket -a gun- to finally end my sufferings.

Okay that was semi-automatic writing, I'm not fluent enough in english to go full automatic.

>I don't speak to my friends much anymore and my girlfriend is constantly worried about me.
user, your mom wouldnt want that.

There are some advantages, but they are very situational

I'm in constant, unbearable pain. I never knew life could get this bad. At this point my health is starting to effect my ability to keep up with school. I hope that I can find a solution for this soon.

Those of you fretting about women or other things along those lines, please try not to take your health for granted. It's really all you have.

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I guess if you're artist, musician or writer then you could possibly turn it into creativity.

Look on the BRIGHT SIDE - you might have avoided lyme disease.

I feel like I'm too polite and passive to others instead of some machismatic alpha or something like that. I usually let things go as they will and take my time and have patience. People are in a hurry and I'm really not. I don't know. I've said this to myself before too.

I also need to get my bedtime in order. When I was a NEET I would wake up to feed my dogs and then go back to bed after puttering around a bit. I think I need to be an adult and just have a bedtime with a nice routine and all that. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

>I feel like I'm too polite and passive to others instead of some machismatic alpha or something like that
Do what you feel is most comfortable. There's nothing wrong with being nice, or even selfless, just don't allow people to take advantage of you. You can say 'no' without being impolite, people will usually understand.
>There's nothing wrong with that, right?
IMO I feel much better during the day if I go to bed early and wake up early. I suppose it's different for every person, but if you feel that it could help, it probably wouldn't hurt to try a change in your routine. Making it consistent helps too.

I'm sorry user, I know words don't really do anything but I hope you get better.

Is it normal that I feel this sort of separation trauma when my dad didn't really leave me?
I mean he broke up with my mom, but that was when i was 2, and yet I feel like he abandoned me. I have attachment issues, obviously but I think this may be the root

iktf
>tfw no old house like tonari no totoro to fix up and clean up
>tfw no vegetable patch like flying witch
>tfw no children like non non byori to make go to a dying school with the few other town kids remaining
>can't live cooped up like natsume soseki studying and writing all day in an old estate
>can't establish a strolling garden and reflection pond
>can't tend to koi fish
>can't go to inaka summer festivals like natsume yuujinchou

just want to say i love reading holy shit i want to read hundreds and hundreds of more books
god damn i love books
hey Yea Forums are you reading books?

>I love my partner to death and I don't want to risk "trading up"
>we're both autists and our autismo actually meshes together pretty well.
i know these feels. you're based.

This. I've been reading Roberto Calasso after seeing him recommended on here and I've been enjoying his work immensely. I think the recommendation prior to that was Celine and he was similarly excellent.

I wish that america had cool jap corporatism where they strive to make the best of whatever they make instead of increasingly worse at better prices. I'm sick of american culture in general, it's so bland and drab. Nothing exciting media wise ever comes from the western countries, and politically its run by old out of touch fogeys and speech men who can talk the talk but can never execute.
I blame the internet. It made everyone crazy, and now your 15 minutes of fame are from a tweet or a Yea Forums post or from some ultimately useless waste of energy instead of a reward for a worthwhile event or project.

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>cool jap corporatism where they strive to make the best of whatever
Isn't the Japanese corporate culture notoriously inefficient and behind-the-times despite working themselves to death?

>3 months since finished writing my previous novel
>still not published, barely sent any queries
>still have health problems but they haven't gotten worse, I guess, so that's something
>have a job and not at risk of starving to death now
>have done nothing but read a ton of books
>finally wrote some short story drafts
>no time to sit and actually write them because exhausted from the job that I need to pay my rent
I am mildly less suicidal now that I'm eating something other than stale bread and pantry leftovers and have lessened financial stress. I want to start another novel project, but I've already gone through several ideas and none lit that spark for me. It feels like I'm not properly alive when I'm not writing. All day long I think to myself, "What do I want to write? What am I going to write now? What do I need most to express?" And I swing between the urge to do highly publishable mass market garbage or what I actually want to write (in nonspecifics) and still have nothing concrete to work towards.

I don't know. I guess I'll do some short stories until I figure it out.

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yeah but you get some damn good luxury goods out of it.

Like a nice fax-machine?

yeah, or a radio, or a car or chalk or pens or anything really.

I'm glad that you're doing better, user. I'm sure that some ideas will come to you after some time. Please take care of yourself.

Literally the most efficient the world

Niger lover the Niger travon was a Niger waste life drug dealer Niger on record drug dealer Niger scum. Niger jumped zimmerman. Zimmerman we are with you u anyone with hood Niger in my area late night in my area no question blow him away period just like back Bensonhurst that worthless nigers were in our area at 10 night not buy car to. Steal car. Niger car.

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open up sir, I'm here to check if you've been reading teen fantasy again.

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I'm beginning to think that these Jew folks are up to something

I DREAMT OF FUCKING MY FRIEND'S SISTER BUT THE DREAM VERSION OF HER IS MUCH HOTTER THAN THE REAL VERSION

I’m still madly in love with but will you please stop hurting my feelings

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I find Greta cute. Might be her mongoloid features that trigger in me some kind of selfless instinct to defend her.
I'm sad that she's being weaponized by heartless elites.

The obsession with meds isn't the stem of the problem, it's that America is fundamentally a society that breeds mental illness. Go r/latestagecapitalism friend

I wonder if theres an objective or subjective afterlife.

Any of you guys seriously considering becoming a novelist? It's started to seem like the only option for me, which is both terrifying and exhilarating.

Is "live fast and reckless" a juvenile attitude? or manly?

It depends on age

You don't deserve a classmate so based. Alizee is hot and she sings about erotic topics like Lolita.

I'm anxious as fuck.. All I can think about right now is one person. I barely know them but know I want to form a meaningful, intimate bond with them... They showed interest, asked about dating.. but you never know. I don't even think it's possible to be loved anymore. All I want is to mean a lot to somebody.. maybe I just need to chill and see how things end up.

>one person
>them
Are you a girl or a faggot?

You should hope for a subjective one if you like existing.

In my dream i have once seen this being sitting on bench. It was fluffy eye. When i got close to it my mind went crazy i felt like being sucked in. It was chaos and i was none. It was passive just sitting on bench it did not even looked at me. I woke up in cold sweat and had to draw it. Behold the destoryer of minds.

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Bela Kiss and Ted Bundy interest me so much. They had fool proof MOs.

>OMG HAHAHAHHA LOOK AT HIM HE JUST MOVED HIS FINGER 1cm!!! HAHAHAHAA!! OMG LOOK AT HIM HE TWITCHED HIS EYE, CLEARLY THAT MEANS HE'S A SEXUAL PREDATOR!!!! HAHAHAHHAAHA LOOK AT HIM, LOOK HOW HE WALKS, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA!!!! OMG LOOK HOW FAR HE IS WHAT A WEIRDO OMG LOOK HOW CLOSE HE IS WHAT A CREEP EUGH!! HE TURNED HIS HEAD 1° HE MUST BE GAY!! AHAHAHAHAHAA!!! LOOK AT HIM HE JUST MADE A FEW STEPS AAHHAAHHA AWOW LOOK AT HIM THIS MUST MEAN HE HATES THIS THING OH OH HE LOVES THIS THING BECAUSE HE FIXED HIS GLASSES!!!! I'M SHERLOCK HOLMES!!!!!!! HE ACCIDENTALLY QUIRKED A BIT THAT MUST MEAN HE HATES THING THING AND HE'S DUMB!! OMG HHAHAHA WOW LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIM HOW DARE HE MIGHT A SLIGHT CONFUSED MISTAKE!!! OMG WHAT A PLEB! OMG SO PRETENTIOUS EUGH!!! OMG AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA LOOK HOW HE MOVES!! HAHAHAHAHHAA! HE JUST MOVED HIS LEG!! HAHAHAHAHAHAA LOOK AT HIM

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t. creepy gay sex-predator.

I had so much fucking paperwork hanging over my head for the past six weeks or so. And I couldn't even attempt to do it, as I was waiting for documents left and right. And it was important stuff: My acceptance letter for grad school, my scholarship, re-newing my ID.
Things are finally coming together now. I received my acceptance letter about a week ago, yesterday I collected the last signatures from uni I needed so that I can wrap everything up today. My appointment at the civil office is next week at last, and afterwards I can finish up the documents needed for the scholarship. After my life has been in flux and the future uncertain for such a seemingly long time, I'm glad there's an end in sight now. I want to be able to focus on other important things again.

Well, I woke up early this morning and did stuff. Now I'm sitting at my computer before I do more stuff. I know that if I continually work on [stuff] I'll get bored and end up right back here anyway. Seems okay so far. I'll look forward to going to bed tonight. Not sure what I'm going to do on the weekends since keeping the schedule is important and I won't want to sleep in.

random noise is fucking annoying

I started to reply to one of the various off topic threads here and the response turned into a short story. It was the first bit of fiction I have written since highschool, 20 years ago and I was fairly impressed with it, not really sure where it came from. Spend the next few hours editing and reworking it and realize I have been writing it in the Yea Forums post window which can not save or anything. Go to copy it to paste it into a more suitable application and I have no idea what I hit but I killed the browser.

That was fun.

Just rewrote as best as I could, but I am going to have to spend a couple hours polishing it up again. A couple spots came out better, which is nice, but I know there are a few spots that will never be as good as they were and a few spots are now quite bad. Oh well, the sun is now up, tomorrow I will put in some more time on it.

It felt good, I think i will do more.

Now you can write a short story about a man writing an incredible short story in a blaze of inspiration, and accidentally deleting it all near the end, and being unable to recall what he wrote. Write about his surroundings that he gradually disconnects from during the course of writing, and gets yanked sharply back into at the press of a key, and the surreal melancholic feeling he's left with at the end, of being so close and yet so far away

idk when i showered last and i hardly go outside

Most positions regarding one's worldview can be sufficiently justified by saying "That is what I choose to believe". Of course, this does not make a strong argument to get someone to agree with you.

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Knowing that i'am so far away from the alpha male archetype and thus will never be able to fully fulfil a woman's base desires completely crushes me and makes me not want to even try. The idea that no matter what i do i will never be able to replace the ideal man, who has been reinforced by years of evolutioin and is on a prime level desired by all females whether consciously or subconsciously, is completely soul crushing to me. The girl that settles down for me, and that's really what i can only hope for a girl settling down for me, will continue to have her perfect image of that guy she could never get in her head until she dies and i could never hope to replace that image, leaving her unsatisfied as a mate and confirming myself as a biological failure.

it's fucking hilarious how people have managed to push responsibility for addressing climate change onto the shoulders of a literally autistic child.

Her body language screams neuronormalo confidence, she is about as autistic as Lil Pump, but you're right, it's hilarious because she might actually believe she is doing these things by herself and that she isn't being used

I just hope that she isn't sexually abused.

You should read On the Fixation of Belief by CS Peirce . He gets into the four classes of belief formation, one of which is simply the method of opinion. You simply believe what suits your constitution and that conviction alone settles it.

Cheer up, user. Your conception about how relationships work is really limited and narcissistic; meanwhile you have YOUR ideal image of your perfect waifu. Guess what? You're a little bit deluded. Focus on improving yourself instead of wallowing in self-pity. Then the day will come when you meet someone you can actually love, and your false notions about relationships and women will fall away forever. Don't let the mind virus win.

it's really sad how because of capitalism we won't actually address it in the necessary way (killing the capitalists responsible)

I wouldnt recommend him ever getting into relationship.

youtube.com/watch?v=eFRWDZBH8Dc

GOOOOOOOOOOOOD DAMMMIITTT

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this is literally what I think people think about me every second

The only actual time that I can feel comfortable in public is when I go into "user-mode" where I wear my favorite sweatpants sneakers and hoodie and I hunch over and pull my hood up so that noone can see who I am. Then I listen to my favorite music (experimental japanese rape metal).

In my imagination I have a super power that if I want nothing can stop me. As in when I am moving the whole world moves out of my way. I am completely impervious to everything, you could chop me with a great sword and I would not even budge and the sword would shatter. I become unrelenting, impervious to the outside world. Nothing can even affect me. Once I am in this state I no longer care what others think of me as I understand that I am the most powerful being on earth. I can control my position in the universe, I have command over absolute momentum. I could chose to never move relative to the ground and nothing would ever make me move. I could choose to be stationary relative to some star moving thousands of km/s and I would fly through the earth, tearing a hole is the ground. If I chose to hold my position against a thing moving against the earth at the speed of light, then I myself would collide against the earth at the speed of life. All life would end almost instantaneously. Once I understand how powerful I truly can be, I am no longer concerned with that the little meddling people think of me.

I am impervoius to them.

stay safe, houston-anons

happening?

just searched it. it's flooding.

My city has only a 15% black population, but the public pools are all full of litter and obese black people who smuggle beer to the pool and get very loud and drunk and blare their obnoxious, low class "dirty rap" all over the place. This image makes me nostalgic for something I've never experienced but can feel strongly in my soul is how things should be rather than how things are.

its flooding heavily here and not safe to drive

If my mother did not have two miscarriages she might a have had better child than me.

I don't think you would really need to pay anything honestly, it is isn't hard to imagine what they do in their private lives or what they do/feel when no one is around.

Hate normalfag lovesongs

Love is normalfag feeling

I think that I would like to try pegging at least once in my life

To peg or be pegged?

FUCK WHY ARE MY LIPS BURNING

I just want to experience true love, is that too much to ask for.
I would give my life for the right girl, I would do anything for a girl that I truly love and one who loves me back the same.

Is my view of love warped? Does true love not exist? Am I expecting too much?
I don't care, I just want to have it. I had it once in my life, but it was only one-sided.
FUUUCK I'm so lonely, someone get me out of this hell.

Be pegged, I'm a straight man, but kind of a bottom, I guess, still a virgin

Same but i wouldnt want anyone to have that kind of information on me.

Trying to listen to more normalfag music

It's ok bro. We all feel you.

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I was a neet cumbrain addicted to porn, fat, useless.

I got a shitty fast food job and got my own place, became fit and attractive and confident, during this time i also almost never masturbated.

Now i recently got a better job and an even better place to live. But somehow my drive is gone, the daily workouts went away, ive started getting fat again and fap alot, i also started spending what little free time i had playing vidya again. So i got rid of my addictions and became happy, then when i got an even bigger life improvement with this new job all those addictions returned and now i feel like i am stuck back where i started even though thats not the case. Ive still made huge leaps from where i used to be in life. but i feel like shit again...

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>tfw 27 kv
if it didnt happen in 27 years then it's over. I'm not a book protagonist to get good deus ex machina or miracle.

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>experimental
>rape metal
>japanese
Yet claims not to be a weirdo

The thing is, I could probably easily lose my virginity without having to resort to a hooker.
Well, maybe not easily, but if I really tried.
I even almost lost it when I was 15, but it remained hand-stuff. That was 7 years ago and I didn't have any sexual experience since that time.

I just know, losing it won't make me less miserable. What I really need is a romance, a girl who is worth spending all my self-improvement on. This sounds kinda arrogant, but actually it's quite the opposite, I'm a selfless person. I would give my life for the right girl, sacrifice everything.

>tfw 25 y.o. virgin but still don't really care
I desperately crave the romantic aspect of a relationship really, but sex just doesn't appeal much to me. Maybe it would be better than I think but if it's not with someone I truly love I feel like it would be very awkward for me for whatever reason.

Too bad I'll likely never experience either.

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user, you have good intentions but putting your happiness into the hands of other people will make you suffer in the long run.

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Where is that pic from?
Is Anno a hack after all?

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Hmmm

never claimed that I wasn't a weirdo. nice reading comprehension retard, sure you're on the right board?

seventh guy to agree

This job is killing me; I hate my boss so much.
I hate having to still go to college.
I hate that my wife cries every night.
I hate that I can't get a better apartment.
I hate that the only time I feel free is while I take a shit and browse this stupid board or read a few pages of whatever book I'll never finish.

>bought some junk food on the way home last night (had already binged earlier that day)
>ate some of it, felt so fat, threw the rest away and told myself no more binges
>woke up today at 8.30 am
>browsed internet, drank coffee
>had fastfoodcuck job interview at 10.30 am
>agonise over whether the money is worth the loss of free time and humiliation
>go to interview but it becomes clear I'll be a few minutes late, so I go back to my flat
>go to gym and lift weights; lifting goes ok but I'm so tired due to bad sleep so I'm nowhere near my potential
>put more of my money from the current to the savings account; know it's sensible but feel ashamed that I rely on anything except willpower alone for financial management
>go in to central London for my new late afternoon walking habit, which includes a walk through a park
>felt demoralised after seeing so many Staceys
>walk more while listening to Cumtown
>go back to flat to sit; read workplace horror stories and mourn my upcoming wagecuckery
>go in to central London for my usual walk
>now drinking coffee; unsure what I'll eat tonight
>will watch qt with /pol/

I'm feeling particularly pathetic about my lack of motivation for doing anything productive in my free time. Also feeling bad for not being a silicon valley programmer on $200k.

I've had so much free time lately and wasted it all, again. For only the past 30 days, if each day I had done one mini section of that maths book, plus read 50 pages of those patrician books, plus given up junk food and coffee, I'd be so much smarter, richer, better off physically... But I didn't, and the slightest hint of goals or self imposed routine makes me feel cucked and spooked.

Seeing qts and Staceys everywhere is painful. I've seen so many today.

I thought of going to buy healthy food but I literally can't imagine it satiating me. It normally tastes surprisingly good and then the next day I binge.

The idea of 9-5 work is horrifying me again. It's a cloud on my mind.

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is it really fate? are we really slaves?

My legs hurt and I drank my fifth cup of cofee today.
Coffee it's the only thing that makes me come back to life.

The Third Movement of Beethoven's Eroica conducted by Bernstein

I made the mistake of taking a walk on the campus of a major American University today. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and so many people were out. Smiling faces, Bright eyes, hopeful demeanors. No one got their on their own, the chain of support they've received was palpable if unseen. There was so much youth, and hope, and beauty there it made me cry. I never got a chance like they did, or had a stable home life like you could tell from looking at their faces. There was a young man who stepped out of one of the dorms, maybe a business masters student, around my age. He wore a tailored suit and had an eagles eyes, his posture like a ballet dancer's; almost the exact opposite of me. I wondered if we ever talked, would we have *anything* in common? What would a rich man and a poor man like me have to say to one another? The most I would hope for would be a tacit nod and an acknowledgement of my presence; even that might be too much to hope for. One of my most dearest hopes in life is to send all of my children to a place like that where they can learn to discover themselves and make mistakes in a safe and nurturing environment. I dream of those halcyon campuses and Elysian quads

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This is a quick trip into hell, bud :3

Well. Why the fuck are you interviewing for fast food jobs? Either way, it's a good way to make social connections I would think. Just socialize with your co-workers after work or something. :3

ya know, if you anons spent 1/10th the time in the gym as you do on this site, you could be slaying hoes right now.

Nah, my issues are completely mental and not related with muscularity.

if you think the goal of lonely anons is to fuck sluts, you're entirely overlooking the issue.

I'm happy with my body. I work out. My insecurities are all internal.

Don't be like this.

Just for extra money, even though I have a respectable job that is starting kind of soon

Since I've started my new medication alcohol has started to taste like it did when I was a kid. I can hardly stand it now, even light beer tastes absolutely disgusting

books lame. youtube good.

I'm worried that if I don't get published in the next decade, the singularity will hit, and no-one will give a shit about incorrect scifi while they're enjoying automated space communism

do you think that you actively sabotage yourself to have something to write for us?

Bump

both good advice

what medication?

I really like music.My favourite band is Pixies and my favourite Pixies song is I'm Amazed.
I love them so much,its really my favourite band I've listened to their albums so many times,my favourite being Surfer Rosa.
I love Surfer Rosa
Other songs I like are Broken Face and Isla de Encanta,and Gouge Away

I don't know what I want to do with my life.

I have a similar problem.
I have two things I want to do in life and cannot decide between them.

I am so fucking done with all this dumb female bullshit and their manipulative tactics. I always seem to be on the receiving end of this bullshit and it fucking annoys me. I rarely get pissed but good lord, being both talked down to like vegetable who can't go one sentence without talking about sex and some ESL thinking my feelings are something akin to a save file where you can just load the previous save and act as if what you said didn't matter. This is fucking nonsense and typing this really helped me out honestly. Fuck this but also thank you Yea Forums.