All human relationships are shallow

Blue Spring is kino.

pls watch 9 souls

another teenager spouting fatalistic pointless drivel like doing anything in life is purposeless and has no driven need. the only need you require yourself is the need to satiate those social tethers; to actually trust people from time to time, and to accept the eventual possibilty and inevitability of it all either falling apart or you going your separate ways. the best outcome is the stonewall and accept each other's differences, but this comes with growing as a person and never stopping. your attitude is probably coming from a scenario of a student pal of yours doesnt wanna talk to your boring ass anymore, and therefore you vent your fatalistic objection to life by saying to everyone, "SEE?! I TOLD YOU SO!!"welcome to your one way ticket in life, bud. you have punched it, and there is no going back. Learn to be somewhat stoic and maybe just enjoy things for what they are, a wave you swim over and move on to the next until you drown.

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also the vast majority of people in life do not attach themselves to one set of people, they will move from different circles in the overall cycle of their lives. this is the future of relationships in a globallised economy and society. to disavow and reject it will only lead to further suffering and melancholy on your part, and will be much worse when the exposure of globalised data, media and other forms of social interaction take complete grasp of society as a whole to the point you will not be able to avoid or ignore it.

Nice literature thread.

You can't even capitalise the start of your sentences or use paragraphs. Why would anyone bother to read your shitty post?

this. the best way to interact with other people, even lovers, is to assume the role of an actor and become what they want. then you'll have no trouble and can keep them safely under control.

people are unable to deal with any flaws nowadays. in the past you just picked someone decent-ish and got married. now there's an illusion of endless choice on the market, so one tiny flaw and the first reaction is to dump you. meanwhile, if you put up with 100 flaws of theirs it goes unrecognized. your partner, your friend, your family, they're the one driving the knife forever into your side, so smile and embrace them. tie a blindfold and lead them. you'll always be walking alone.

I agree.

I met someone, we got along, then they get bored of you and find all your faults unbearable. No one has any foresight anymore, they think they'll live forever and can flit from one person to the next in a constant state of fresh amusement. Gone are the days of two flawed people unconsciously agreeing that despite their individual shortcomings they prefer being together than being alone and that they're unlikely to find a better match, so lets make a serious go of things for better or worse, till death do us part.

my thoughts exactly. you can keep trying to "trade up" but the boat is sailing out all the while. i've only ever seen that kind of deep soul-mate love where they 100% accept the other person for who they are, in fiction. maybe that's why we write stories like that. i would die to experience it, but it's impossible here.

it's probably ideal to take and blindfold a 3dpd and keep 2d on the side. then you can have the best of both worlds. waifufags know what's up. real humans can never love you the way you can love a fictional character.

and even though i'm blatantly manipulating my partner and checking all their boxes, they don't realize it. it feels like winning on easy mode. it's so simple to do, and all this time i've avoided it because i was chasing that castle in the air of true love. i can't view them as human. they're a dog i tend to. i take care of everything, accepting their flaws and hiding my own, and they don't realize it the entire time. i'm sure that i'll only end up suffering terribly in the end, but this is the best i can achieve.

I think people grow up thinking "someone else will complete me" and most of them never wake up and realise it doesn't work like that. They never learn that the only person in this world they can trust and rely on is themselves. It's incredibly rare for someone to be aware that all relationships are doomed from the beginning. It's just a roll of the dice how long it will take. Some people grow old and die before they get sick of each other, but this is again incredibly rare.

Most people end up settling for someone just tolerable enough, usually after they discarded better matches years ago in pursuit of trading up. It's a harsh truth to face, that the other person will eventually leave and you'll feel empty again. It used to be even if you hated the other persons guts, you were married and you figured a system out, you made the best of what you had. But ironically the more freedom people have now, the more alone they end up feeling. It's truly dreadful how easily people abandon each other in modern times. Marriages would survive famine, plague, war. Now all it takes is "we never go out anymore" to end a 5 year relationship.

>Acceptance and optimism
no

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>they'll betray you or act in a way that shows you never really meant much to them at all, like suicide.
>betray
>suicide
Sounds like they don't mean much to you, either. How about you think about the agony of suicidal people before saying something so selfish?

youtube.com/watch?v=DCS6t6NUAGQ
This video has some good insights on human relationships

Regardless of their suffering, if they go through with their suicide they clearly didn't care all that much about the people they leave behind. I'm not criticising it, it's just how people are. But don't deny it.

>40 years
okay user. hope undergrad treats you well.

I want you to really, REALLY think about how it feels to be in such mental pain that self-termination becomes a serious option. Do you believe that depression discriminates by how many loved ones somebody has? Do you believe that the millions of suicidal people on this earth just suddenly stop having feelings for their family and friends?

A mentally balanced person has a strong drive to live. Think about how much you have to be hurting to go all the way to the other side, to commit a painful and terrifying act so that you can stop internally screaming every moment of every day.

The suicidal have their hands forced. Failing when their loved ones want them to survive just makes them feel all the worse and increases the urge to make the Final Escape from this Absolute Terror. You have no idea what you are talking about, and I hope that you reconsider your shortsighted views before you bring harm to somebody suicidal.

>Do you believe that the millions of suicidal people on this earth just suddenly stop having feelings for their family and friends?
I believe their feelings were never that strong to begin with and only faded over time, not grew stronger.

>before you bring harm to somebody suicidal.
Get a grip faggot. If they're going to kill themselves it doesn't matter what I say.

>The sad fact of life is you're born alone,
No, when you are born, your family is with you.
>you live alone
No, when you are born, your family and friends are with you.
>and you will die alone.
No, when you will be dying, your family and friends will care about you.

Of course you may be an orphan who will never have family and friends and will die alone, but that's the worst case.

I've felt close to offing myself several times. Not once did my passion for my family fade; not once did any lack of passion play a role in my suicidal thoughts. Actually, many commit suicide because they feel like a useless disgusting burden to those close to them. They feel like they spare their loved ones from decades of bullshit. The depressed do not escape due to indifference. They escape because there is something eating away at their fucking brains and emptying out all of their joys and convincing them that if they really cared about their loved ones (and they DO) they should kill themselves.

Suicidal people care. The problem is that their care sends them in a radically and terrifyingly different direction.

>Not once did my passion for my family fade; not once did any lack of passion play a role in my suicidal thoughts
If you're unwillingly to face the truth of your own fickleness, then there's nothing else to say to you. If you cared as deeply as you think you do about your family, that love would overide the suicidal thoughts.

But that never happens because that's not how people work. Face it, you don't care about your parents as much as you believe you do.

very correct post. it used to be taught that marriage takes effort from both parties, and concessions from both, to last. now it's all about thinking disney movies and erotic "romance" novels can be reality. it's mind-drugs that dampen the minds of the populace and lead them to delusioned mists. they're always looking to dump and swap up, thinking there's always a higher peak to be reached. in reality if they dump they are far less likely than they were before to even reach the same level again. you could end up with someone worse off. it's a gamble. but large populations moving partners very quickly fools people to thinking they have an infinite number of options. sure you have 100 matches, but all those 100 matches have 100 other matches, too. it's part of the disposable culture, you buy something, and when it's broken or outdated you throw it away and get a new one. that's foolish even with a teacup, let alone a human being. we're surrounded by false images of perfection -- curated instagrams, photoshopped selfies, faked facebooks -- people feel they must compete with a standard that doesn't exist to begin with. so you have people feeling their perfectly normal partner just isn't good enough, and the solution is to throw them away and go shopping on tinder for a new one. and one day, everyone wakes up and they're 38 and single. we created this hell for ourselves.

i'm incredibly sober. maybe what i'm doing is lying, or manipulation, but i don't care. i already know i'll always be alone, i can never relax and show myself in earnest to anyone, because the instant i do i'll be thrown away and left wounded. put the mask on and dance.
post is too good for this shitty board. remember, the biggest problem most posters here have is that they can't stick their pee pee in a goo goo, and they can't understand how people who have sex can possibly still be depressed.

"hurr durr i can't relate to this book, the character wasn't a virgin."

>If you cared as deeply as you think you do about your family, that love would overide the suicidal thoughts.
One thing has absolutely nothing to do with another. Depression is effectively a disease. If you had a disease that was thoroughly destroying you, your ability to function in daily life, and everything that made you originally interesting, fun, and pleasant, would you not be tempted to save your loved ones the trouble of watching you rot? Because depression makes people rot on both the physical and mental levels. I love my parents so much that, when I was convinced that my existence was hurting them, I wanted to die and spare them from watching me suffer for years. It's fucked up, but how can you say that it's selfish?

>I love my parents so much that, when I was convinced that my existence was hurting them, I wanted to die and spare them from watching me suffer for years.
No, you wanted a noble excuse for a selfish choice. It's so transparent.

You might be baiting me at this point but whatever.

Imagine the person that you love most developing severe depression. All the activities that they once enjoyed now do nothing for them. They struggle to do their work if they are able to maintain a job at all. They start neglecting themselves out of pure self-hatred. They do their best to keep things the same with you and remain as they were. But it's enormously difficult and after some time they just keep falling apart. An inability to leave the house. An inability to leave the bed. Being aware at every moment of how much of a goddamn waste this condition has turned them into. Antidepressants are unreliable and often make them empty in different ways. Weight loss. Self harm.

Imagine this person as they are now. Then imagine them as I have described above. Imagine this process going on for years. Would you like to see that shit just because "hey at least they aren't dead"? And they are, of course, very aware of how they come across to you and others. In such a situation, is the suicidal person really so crazy and "selfish" for wanting to avoid that?

>Would you like to see that shit just because "hey at least they aren't dead"?
It's their choice, but if they choose to die then that's making a statement that they care more about dying than they do about me.
>In such a situation, is the suicidal person really so crazy and "selfish" for wanting to avoid that?
Selfish, yes. Just be honest, it's a selfish decision. Selfishness is not bad, everyone is selfish. But to lie and pretend like it's a noble sacrifice, like you're doing it for other people sake, that's just pathetic delusion.

So none of that bothers you at all? In your view, no amount of suffering could ever make an early death seem more desirable than a life of terror and disgust at oneself and feelings of uselessness? If somebody was slowly torturing you to death, you would rather wait the entire thing out and not feel the urge to end things right there?

Don't dodge the truth.

The issue isn't "is depression/suicide unpleasant". The issue is you dressing it up as anything but a selfish desire to escape suffering.

The fact that we can pretend to understand each other and things often manage to work out in spite of the latent disconnect between peoples is a miracle of the world and should be appreciated.

It seems that we are using different definitions of "selfish" here. You are talking about the selfish act as something that benefits oneself. I, however, am talking about how suicide does not involve a selfish personality. I've made those posts because you have equated the desire to escape suffering with indifference towards loved ones, which is absurd. To escape from unspeakably horrific pain with suicide is, yes, something that one does for one's own relief. But I am asking you to try to understand:

If this depressed person is your loved one, then you would understand their immense suffering and probably suffer much yourself as a result. Then they think about what this awful situation is (or should) be doing to you. You want them to live. They want to succeed but feel that they cannot and are only putting the BOTH OF YOU through useless turmoil. So they feel that when they kill themselves, they ultimately help everybody despite the period of heartbreak that follows.

So when you take extreme action to avoid extreme suffering, it is technically "selfish." But you are using "selfish" in a general sense, like it is a key part of the depressed mindset. That is very wrong. Not everybody can just embrace life as easily as you can. They really want to. They hate letting you down. Please think about how you are crushing them when you shrug off their unspeakable grief and guilt as "selfishness." If you cannot grasp that, then I've got nothing else for you.

Let me say it plainly.

If you have a wife and you're suicidal, and then you choose to kill yourself then that is a selfish decision. You chose your own interests over that person. Yes, they get the benefit of being free of you but that doesn't negate your original selfish decision. You didn't do it for them, you do it for you. Everyone is like this. Everyone is selfish.

Your suicide is in no way noble or admirable or any other positive spin. It's an entirely selfish act, just admit it. That's all it is, a selfish act. All human relationships are shallow precisely because people are selfishly motivated, people are not capable of being selfless in the same way the can be selfish.

Lets say instead of suicide you had the option to "disappear" from this reality, to everyone you know it'd be as if you'd died. But you would be sent to a place where your suffering would be eternal. Your family is free, you're not. No one would ever choose that fate, and if they did they would definitely regret it. Your primary motivation is selfishness, stop trying to romanticise it.

I don't know why you keep trying to argue, man. You cant' make people like that feel empathy for suicidal people. They just can't understand it. It's like in threads about antinatalism, they always say, "Well why don't you just kill yourself?" They have no conception of what they're talking about or what suicide and depression are, and are only capable of treating it flippantly.

What the fuck are you going on about?

Lol, modern cumbrains can't even understand that post.

I'm not talking about the first part of your shitty post, I didn't bother to read it. I'm talking about the latter half.

>5) You begin to realize that pessimism is a dead end street. You feel like shit. You search for a solution. You realize that it makes no sense to blame the world for being itself. You yourself are at fault, because you try to make the world into something it is not. You still cling to your image of reality (see step 1), only in a negative way. You are like a bad father, constantly comparing his living child to his dead child, idealizing the latter while overlooking the positive qualities of the former.

I feel this so much in romantic relationships. I always conjure up an image of how I think they are, and when they don't align with my imagination I get frustrated. Especially because it's so easy to fantasize and get pleasure of of fake scenarios in your own head.

Does anyone have any experience with that, or have any strategies to get over it? I struggle with not falling for idyllic day dreams of others, and part of me doesn't want to let go of my own created problem because of the pain and pleasure I get from it.

>you're born alone
how could anyone ever say this?

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kids who wanna fuck mommy

so true, shout out to all the moms out there giving milk from day 1