Write what's on your mind

You'll get arrested for that. If you wanna diddle a 9 yr old you should probably despose of it afterward.

Why?

Never said I wanted to diddle her. I would at least wait until she hits puberty

I enjoyed it as funny fiction.

this quotation
>All in all, death is something like marriage.
― Louis-Ferdinand Céline

what is the true meaning of this quote?

i had 6 beers last night and multiple opportunities to get laid, but i didn't.

Today I'm working on my book. No exceptions, no fuckery, no games.

Would it be blasphemy for me, a proud Eastern Orthodox man, to marry a Cuckth*lic woman?

What a gentleman you are
I’m going to shut off my phone and read my pulp book

It is Saturday which means: a second chance, a banquet of opportunity. The world is your cum rag.

Wow, it's almost like you have to read things in context and like this is something google allows you to do in under a minute!

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thanks user. i think i'll go get some coffee and read.

He has better books and stories you should read.

I'm really talented at one particular thing but an aspect of my delivery is off. Despite the technical quality of my performance I come off as tired and restrained. My whole life has been marred by tiresomeness and restraint. It's time I demolish these things.

How do I enjoy literature as a retard? I'm trying to get into more advanced stuff(previously I was reading mostly genre fiction, mostly Philip K Dick), started out by reading some Pynchon, really enjoyed Inherent Vice.
Right now I'm reading Brief Interviews with Hideous Men by DFW, I'm really enjoying its style(so far Depressed Person was my favourite) but most of the short stories go right over my head. I felt like a complete retard when reading last part of Pop Quiz one.
Does it get better or is literature just not for me?

maybe consider expanding your reading outside of Yea Forums memes

Started my antidepressants again last night, took some phenibut too, so I'm super chill. Lying in my bed this morning fantasizing about getting absolutely railed in the bum and planning out my day

if you can't understand DFW then picture books might be more your style.

Religious texts are more interesting than religions.

I wonder whats the difference between melancholia, sadness and depression.

I guess melancholia is more intense than sadness, and depression lasts longer.

Send my nephilim godess fantasy epic to a few agents. Spend today writing part 2 of the series.

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So sadness is the least intense and shorter?

Yeah, but it's hard to quantify such things, and you could still use the terms interchangeably to some extent.

Psychology is pure pseudo-science. Religion has more scientific value than psychology.

not memeing, read Ulysses

If free marketers actually believed their bullshit they would require all advertising to be restricted to unbiased, factual, plainly-presented facts about the product. The fact that marketing as an industry exists at all destroys whatever merit the concept has in the first place, if "demand" is completely manufactured by the producers (outside that for basic material necessities) then any claim about the "efficiency" of the system is laughable.

no one gives a fuck popper

Based and redpilled.

The point of the market isn't to provide goods and services, it exists for it's own sake. If people are willing to pay for something, it has value, by definition. Sometimes that value is intangible or hard to see, but it's there

>had a burger king binge last night and went back to flat by walking past tonnes of happy Friday night young people
>woke up today
>drank coffee, browsed internet (listened to early 00s pop punk and felt nostalgic)
>go to fastfoodcuck job interview and it felt so uninspiring; the thought of working on weekends for extra money now fills me with deep dread
>the street with the fast food place was filled with a depressingly large amount of Staceys (it's a very hot and sunny day in London, one of the last days of summer)
>go back to flat
>fast food binges have raped my bank account but I still have much more savings than I thought I would have at this point
>go in to central London for my usual walk
>read 30 pages of a history book in the library
>walk some more
>get on underground train and then walk through Shoreditch in order to feel the cathartic and painful feel of "I definitively missed out on youth and fun because I'm an ugly charismaless meek beta autist and I should stop walking around outside, hoping my youth spontaneously stops feeling wasted"
>happy chads and Staceys everywhere
>noticed that the best marker of the hipster - Muslim divide of brick lane was this overhanging building with a brewery sign on it
>walk through old Street some more and I saw Chad and Stacey packs plus one genuine GigaStacey
>now drinking coffee and will have a McDonalds binge later

I have almost finished reading bronze age mindset on my phone and it's meh.

A topic on biz about corporate culture unironically triggered me. It's really quite incredible that the heart of the problem is women (being taken seriously) in the workplace and that /pol/ diagnosed the problem instantly. I didn't even believe them at first but pol was right.

There is nothing I really want to read right now.

>see woman in wheelchair, think "life on easy mode whore"
>see young black male, think, "Bip bop dat's not me!"
>keeping my gaze locked straight ahead when walking past woman, in case of rape accusations

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This world completely disgusts me and sends me into a destructive rage, yet I cannot release this rage without being punished by the structure of modern society into mass restrictions to what I can do. As of yet I am trying to conceptualize what actions I can take to transgress the modern world while simultaneously be intelligible in scope, and as I currently see it it is the presenting of oneself as being a danger to the world without technically breaking the laws of society, e.g. Intellectual crimes, artistic crimes, visual crimes; which are not crimes in relation to the law but are crimes to the perception of the inhabitants (precisely adherence's) of modern society.
The ultimate desire that I have is to see this world reduced to waste, since the corruption has no possibility of being cured by benign measures, and the greatest method of removing an infestation is to fully blot out the source of the abscess (which is human life).

Death positive.

Nothing has meaning except the avoidance of suffering.
So where do you find meaning in a state where you're avoiding suffering? I wish I could blindly pursue hedonistic activities but the guilt of not contributing to anything prevents me from doing so. But then if I was to devote my life to helping society, what is the point? All life on our planet will end one day and as the universe ages even the most technologically advanced civilizations will fade from existence.

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I can't stop thinking about how disgusted the women who finally agrees to be my gf is going to be when i tell her i'am a virgin and she's my first date and gf in my mid 20s( if it actually ever happens.

Be proud of not being a degenerate.

it's not for a lack of wanting, user

tell her you're virgin, when you're about have it.

Lust for relationships with non-human creatures.

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That would be dishonest and i don't believe good relationships can be build on lies or misleads

what the fuck is your problem?
if like brutal honesty then pick up your phone right now and tell her that you're a virgin.

There's no women in my life right now, i was talking about the future

should I read philosophy book or comp-sci book

I am the happiest I've been in recent memory. This week gone I've just started uni (St. Mary's, Twickenham, doing Creative and Professional Writing and Film and Screen Media if anyone cares) and on Sunday (when I moved in), I went to tea and ate on my own, not talking to anyone and no one talking to me, and I cried back in my room after coz I thought I would spend the whole of this year being a fucking loner and how much I would hate that, but fast forward to today and I'm already friends with 6 new people who are really cool. Yesterday, specifically, was when I had the 'happiest-i've-been' moment, which was when we (my group, coz I'd been doing a group project (which is what actually introduced me to 2 new peeps (3 others I had known since monday)) and we were sat outside the bar chatting and laughing away, and then another guy (a second year) joined us and he was already really drunk and he joined our group and bought someone else and I drinks, and I just thought I haven't been this happy in ages (like literally months, since finishing A Levels I hadn't talked to anyone outside of my family (and that gets really fucking annoying real fast (specifically my dad being a cunt and having no hobbies/interests and no ability to hold a remotely interesting conversation at all) and my only two good friends moving away doing their own thing).

Sorry for going on so long, I just had a lot to share with you bros. By the way, has anyone else just started uni? If so, where and what you studying?

Don't listen to The book is good and easy to read.

Yeah if read as a paradoy, sure

Sometimes I feel strung along by sexual desire to the point where I start to question if it is the only thing I genuinely want.

I'll never be a DiCaprio or a Dan Bilzerian and have all my fetishes indulged by the hottest girls in the world. For me, there will always be a hotter girl to fuck, or a kinkier thing to do.

The study of philosophy and the creation of art feel meaningful at times. But it's the same as before, I'll never be a Kant or a Newton either.

I can't ever have the few things I want from life

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Ending a five year relationship on good terms with someone I love, but it seems just to not work out. The relationship takes a shit at least once a year because we're both struggling in our personal lives and we're empaths, taking on each other's emotional turmoils. I feel like the option of leaving and staying in the relationship are equally bad.

Oh yeah, and we still live together and I have no place to live right now. We're still sleeping in the same bed, even. There's no going back to normal at this point, and I've become increasingly distant from friends and family since most of my time and energy went into this relationship.

The feels, man. You change so much in your twenties. I guess it's still better than never have tried at all, but now I'm approaching 30 and about to be single again.

Shit man, im living the same situation
Tell me user if the apathy started way before, what would you do?

I think if there's doubt or apathy in your mind, it will only increase over time. In my case, the writing has been on the wall for probably a couple years now.

I've personally seen too many dysfunctional marriages and relationships to have much optimism, so I wonder if everyone really does settle at some point.

I knew it was over when I saw her crying and didn't feel anymore. I have too much respect for her to drag this out.

God speed, user. I'm with you.

>The point of the market isn't to provide goods and services, it exists for it's own sake.
Then we should get rid of it and leverage the insane amount of computational power and data gathering capabilities of modern society to plan the economy centrally.

>The body count climbs through a series of globewars. Emergent Planetary Commercium trashes the Holy Roman Empire, the Napoleonic Continental System, the Second and Third Reich, and the Soviet International, cranking-up world disorder through compressing phases. Deregulation and the state arms-race each other into cyberspace.

if i had a shred of confidence or charisma, i would be living a normal life and not seeking intellectual goals.

pussy be changin a nigga life!

somethimes feel miserable

I just wrote this post for the shill thread by that one guy who constantly shills his shit here, but a mod thankfully deleted the thread, so I want to leave this autistic rambling somewhere as a monument to my own schizophrenia.

>it's NOT me,

Fuck I wish the warosu archive wasn't down for maintenance right now, so I could post the search that shows you not only shilled yourself, you shilled yourself for YEARS without anybody noticing, just posting the same pictures over and over and going "Who IS this guy??? Is this the next great 'alternative' literature?!"

Same filenames, same pictures, same posts, for years. If you actually read the replies, the only responses you got were people going "dude, stop shilling, it's embarrassing" once every fifty times you posted. It's only in the past 2 years or so you've switched over to this new method of pretending to be yourself not pretending to be yourself.

Look, I would think this kind of self-shilling is pathetic even if your tryhard "alt" book were good. But at least then the book would be good. People even went to the trouble of reading it, and it's just some cringe reddit shit you wrote the better part of a decade ago now. It's not even a full thing, it's apparently like 20 pages of your attempt at edgy "alternative" writing, and then the rest is practically lorem ipsum. Not only is it reddit shit, it's now 5 years out-of-date reddit shit. Why are you so committed to it? You could have written sprawling gimmicky schizoposter fanfics in the time you have dedicated to fitfully shitposting once every few weeks on Yea Forums, and getting a handful of confused replies if anything before your thread 404's.

I don't know what the fuck you're doing here. You can't be a gimmickposter unless you masterminded it and planned it for years on end, because nobody even noticed you for years, and just look at this thread, only a few people sad enough to be long-time Yea Forums regular even recognize you enough to vaguely know you're shilling. Only I'm truly sad enough to have followed your whole demented saga. I just don't get it. Why would you still be shilling 20~ pages of some pdf you wrote YEARS ago, if you've been this ineffective at getting a response to it? People DID read it, and they didn't like it. Why didn't you at least vary up your tactics? Print it out at your own expense and send it to people. Do anything other than this.

If you're an actual schizo please get help. For your own sake and mine, as I have autism and it really fucking bothers me to see people giving you a chance and potentially getting swindled by you, after you've been so disingenuous. You are dragging me by virtue of my autism into your insanity.

You want to be a girl?

Was Mossman the OG coomer?

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Most people really don't care about that stuff that much. She's not going to reject her (especially if you're already dating) just because you're a virgin. If anything, shell probably just want to fuck you.

On my walk tonight
>I saw a deaf couple yelling at each other in sign language
>I accidentally happened onto a Joe Rogan concert
>I saw a police officer save a man's life
>I felt present for the first time in months

Yeah

>I saw a deaf couple yelling at each other in sign language
That is absolutely adorable.

Why do I look attractive in the mirror but ugly in photos?

Because everybody has that problem. Or the opposite of that problem.

>Yeah
I had a hunch. There seems to be thing going on between yuri images and trandgenered people. And I don't mean that in a mean way, it's just an observation.

This just made me think up a joke.

How do you tell your deaf wife to shut up if you don't know sign language?

Same way you tell a non-deaf wife to shut up. You hit her.

I don't get it.

You will..

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I've been trying over the past couple days to remember the name of a Spanish writer/critic/intellectual who I saw posted on here not too long ago. The two things about him I can remember are that his most famous book was a commentary on Don Quixote, and that he also wrote a philosophical work that argued that preparation for a meaningful death was the key to living a meaningful life, or something like that. I remember that the poster who mentioned this man linked to an English-language article about him that explained all this, but I only skimmed it and forgot to bookmark it for later.
If anyone knows who this man is, please let me know. That thing about a meaningful death has been bouncing around in my head for a while now, and I really want to make sure that I'm remembering it correctly.

I had a girlfriend when I was 17 and then it took until I was 26 when I got another. I've loved this girl so much for several years now but I feel less and less. Parts of me want to end it immediately and leave, and other parts want to stick it out to see if this is just a passing feeling. But it has been 6 months now where I've kept up a facade of caring and nothings changed. I am growing more and more certain that I do in fact not love her anymore.

I am conflicted in this. She has given me so much and we know each other so well. We've been through it all together. I just wish I didn't feel like this and that everything could've continued to be as it was. There is nobody to talk to anymore since my friends have become her friends, she's in our group chat and she's always there when we go out at events or pubs.

I don't know what to do.

I have a UTI and I'm almost rid of it. Just drinkin' my oj and keepin' clean. I got a boner while sitting on a public toilet and the tip of my dink touched it and j think that's where I got it from. Need to be more safe with my hard ons... Will make a note of it in the future

I can feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into a place I might not be able to pull myself out of. It's been a little over a year since I graduated and started working, things are not so bad I suppose, but it is all so disappointing.

I don't mind so much the M-F as I actually get work done, read, exercise, etc. but my weekends are like blackholes of unstructured time, I've never had a social life and the old watching films/reading books is great but it's all I've done for the past 5 years and I'm bored.

The first thing I do when I get home Friday is take a bottle of liquor and chug as much as I can handle to get it over with quick. In about 20 minutes I'm stumbling over the keyboard browsing youtube videos. I crawled into bed around 10PM slogged out of my mind, woke at 9, fapped, and then lay in bed until 3PM. It's currently 10PM and I'm about to do the same thing.

I haven't read seriously in almost a month. I can't lose myself in books anymore. I want to sleep but I can't, so I lay in bed drowsily browsing on my phone. I can't be bothered to do anything productive, I don't care enough anymore. I want happy pills that make me forget. I want to be at peace.

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Oh boy. Drone strikes on a Saudi Oil Facility. I'll see you bastards in basic training.

t. Oblomov

Advertising is probably the most evil industry in existence and Bernays deserved to be skinned alive for writing 'Proaganda'

DFW is trash compared to someone like Melville, even Pinecone doesn't meet his standards.

The few friends I have and I grow more distant as time passes and I fear I will be alone forever.

Make an effort to see them more often then.

If I should pay my student loans off early or just make the minimum payments. The interest isn't that bad but it would still be better to pay off quickly I think, BUT if there's a big crash in the economy soon it would be better to have the money on hand to put into stocks once we hit the bottom.

>haven't been this happy in months
>months

Try years

>tfw made literally no (0) friends in college
>tfw somehow had more friends in fucking high school and even a girl crushing *on me* at one point
>tfw life managed to go downhill from there despite improving in most 'objective' measures
cherish what you have user

It's lovely that somebody has something positive going on. Good luck with it all, user.

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this

Finally started writing my book today. It's a fantasy-ish chill adventure story taking place in equal parts in a comfy sea-side town and a dream world. I'm hoping I can pass it off as YA and actually get it published.

Everyone should start with Fire Walk With Me

....what makes you attracted to a nine year old?

what makes you say that?

she won't be disgusted. If anything she'll feel happy to be your first since it's special

I should finally get around to reading St. Augustine's confessiones, even if they just serve to improve my consciousness' eyes for my own confessions in the future.

I wish that I could re-lose it in a more 'special' way.

I wanna smoke yummy nummy ciggie wiggies

You forgot
>Fuck It's hot

Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade,
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell:
Ding-dong.
Hark! now I hear them — Ding-dong, bell.

I'm unhappy. I'm a part of the sad and lonely guys in their early 20s. So sad to talk to my friends from high school. It's been years and I'm the least successful working a minimum job with no further education. It's gotten harder to relate with them as well. I had to move away and they all live near each other. Sad times getting worse and worse. At least I can play a game or watch a movie with them online.

I am undergoing some kind of profound transmission. Fitting, given my superlatives. Day to day anxieties dissolve in the lovely acids of forgetting--forgetting is so often mistaken as a pure negative, but forgetting can be re-making. The past breaks and falls apart, chips away like rust, and in its flaking I see the stars at work, the entropy of time and chance. For is memory is the arrogance of order, the belief that what was shall be what is, but that goes the way of all flesh, the path to dust.
It's almost as if chance and randomness are a bad word, evil things. The are not. They the wellsprings of all growth. Still chance is a great concept, and in chance are a million daggers and one jewel.

NIGGER
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
NIGGER? :(
NIGGER! :)
I'm not racist

This guy is a faggot

Wasn't this basically Fight Club until they break into that store

Just evade the question until you put it in her then when she asks you can be like "No."

I recently found out I have a serious illness and can't afford treatment. The people close to me know I can't afford it.
It's weird to say I'm disappointed with their reactions. It doesn't seem like anyone cares. They all act like I'll just get through it. I don't know how to feel. My mother gave empty words of future help. My boyfriend told me I'm not alone.
I guess I'm not very mature.

Hang in there anons. It will get better -- life, after all, is full of possibilities.

Thanks user. Hope you're doing well too

> bought someone else and I drinks
lol

I dont get it. What's funny?

Ortega y Gasset?

If it's Gasset, he might be deriving that from Heidegger's Being & Time. Or he might have formulated in parallel with Heidegger. Gasset had an odd habit of doing that. He apparently almost killed himself when he discovered Dilthey's philosophy, because he felt Dilthey had simply blazed the same trail as him, but better and clearer, ten years before he had, to his ignorance.

Either way, the Heidegger thing is similar. In B&T, the most authentic ("own-most") attitude that can be adopted by Being (more or less, human awareness of itself and the world, considered in its most elemental aspect of "being in a world" and "openness to a world" to begin with) is the attitude of being-towards-death, essentially because (vulgarising here a lot, but it's basically true) the realisation of our own finitude enables us to jigger ourselves out of complacency and realise we really in this bitch.

I just want to get started working on my D&D campaign, but my brother insists that I read all of the books all the way through. Guess I'm just impatient. Honestly though I've DM'd before and it went poorly, so he probably knows what he's talking about, doesn't help that he is leagues smarter than I ever hope to be

Why can't more women be as beautiful as Joan?

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Very soon I will no longer be a 25 year old virgin, but a 26 year old.

I'm in a relationship but haven't had sex in two years and I'm 29.

Trying to recapture your childhood is obviously a waste of time so wtf am I supposed to do instead? I'm so empty inside.

I think it has a lot to do with the camera lenses. Different ones can have a pretty radical impact on how a face looks

I hate writing so much but I've already put effort into this thing I should at least finish a first draft.

Life as a cockroach, would be preferable.

ok, franz

*steps on you*

I wouldn't mind such an arrangement but the incels told me if my gf isn't constantly banging me she's sleeping around

I enjoy play Osu! but find that my skill decreases unless I play every single day, which is too much for me.

My stomach is making a lot of noises just lying down here and it's really grossing me out

Ground pork is cheaper than ground beef and makes for a better sloppy joe.

Idk man. She’s the first and only one that’s made me like this. She’s cute and smart and I feel warm and light around her

Ironically I think it's sometimes the other way around. I've read that cheating makes your libido go crazy so one of the sure ways to see is if she suddenly is all up in your grill.

>tfw no mummy gf

The more i think about Obito/Madara´s philosophy the more i think they are right. Reality fucking sucks

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Don’t know who that is but he’s probably wrong

Probably some obscure Tibetan philosophers or something.

You cannot post like this and not offer a sample.

Read everything bro.

I've socially isolated my self for the past 4 years, bordering on 5, which, on its own, is fine. I prefer isolation, but I'm starting to worry that I've dug my self into a hole that I can climb my way out of. I'd like to start a family some day, or at the very least have someone I'm comfortable being around, but I don't have the slightest idea of how to go about interacting with others. What little social skills I garnered growing up have deteriorated to the point of non-existence. I'm not autistic, and know that, if it ever came down to it, I could improve, but fuck, it scares me.

COOOOOOM

*throws apple at you*

Why do people hate Chads? Chads are bros. I know a Chad since middle school that I still see around sometimes, he thought me many important lessons about life and not being autistic, he's the only non-family person I have loosely kept in touch with the whole time, and he has a pretty sense of humour.

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*Pretty based
*for such a long time

its normalfags getting it wrong once again.
Chad is your friend, Chad is attractive and hes a good person overall. Its Brad thats the douchbag, Brad is attractive like Chad but Brad is a dick to people

yeah i'm doing something similar right now. i go through a regular cycle. don't worry. when you decide to join the flow again you will still have all of your wits about you, your muscle memory will awaken. and then, disappointed again, you will realize why you decided to embrace solitude. and a few years later you will remember why you loved women (or men or whatever). cycle rinse repeat.

I don't think the /r9k/ jokes about Chad were ever completely negative. Chad sometimes gets portrayed as a normie by default and therefore unable to understand the /r9k/ guy's sufferings etc. etc., but I always got the impression of a kind of neutrality or even tacit approval whenever the Chad archetype was being invoked in the specific respect of "charismatic dude fucks a lot of girls." Even when it was solely based on the guy's looks, I rarely got a sense of hatred, now that I think of it.

A lot of actual Chads, like very socially and romantically successful men, are cool because they're not insecure.

I think Ortega y Gasset might be the man I'm thinking of, but I still can't find that article. I'm positive the interpretation of death was the main point of the piece, but searching for "ortega y gasset death" only gives a bunch of results relating to what he said about the "death of the novel."
Thanks anyways.

Ideally you cut out the middle man and settle down with someone who, at the very least, doesn't make you want to blow your brains out as opposed to running through constant cycles. Evan than, I'm not sure it'd be worth it. I'm constantly fighting between the urge for complete independence, and more primal urges (primarily my libido, but also something more familial). Time will tell.

Why won't the words come out?

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Do you have something on your mind to write about?

I regret wasting my time so often. I'm tired of starting over and having so little will to commit myself fully to a task.

Used to think that if I had people around me I could tell my stuff to I'd feel more pragmatic about it but the only people near to which I've opened up seemed not to care.

Namu Amida Butsu

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we're on the same wavelength. i wish you well.

Im very afraid of tomorrows dentist appointment

got a toothache lads

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I actually feel bad for Ayn Rand about a third into this, if half the shit in this absolute /suffercore/ story is true then it's no wonder she turned out to be a screeching old dingbat. I probably wouldn't fare any better. It' also way more entertaining then I thought it would be, it's her first novel and seems like she got worse over time.

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>I regret wasting my time so often.
Give restriction a go. Cut out as many, if not all the things that you are using to escape.

>I'm tired of starting over and having so little will to commit myself fully to a task.
This is more or less a matter of motivation and or discipline. Attaining either is easier said than done.

>get drunk
>say or do something stupid
>regret it in the morning
The cycle of life continues

Have you tried not drinking?

I used to do this but instead of quitting drinking I just stopped caring about the fact that I say stupid shit all the time when intoxicated. The real nirvana came when I realized I'm also stupid as fuck sober. Now I'm going to go buy more beer.

>had a McDonalds binge last night
>had another chocolate bar at my flat
>woke up
>browsed internet, drank coffee, did chores
>went to gym; squatted exactly lmao3plaet for 3x5 but I felt a lot weaker than recent times (hopefully just bad sleep)
>went in to central London
>as soon as I get off the underground train I realise how hot and humid it was
>I needed a piss and I was in a diverse area, so I kept thinking the phrases "negrofied" (includes anyone who shows any extroversion) and "low trust"
>there was a free public bathroom (pol was wrong, but it was minor)
>walked around a large London park; felt demoralised after seeing Chads and Staceys; some pubs were packed with young people enjoying the end of summer
>walked past a university area and saw the start of term preparations and the happy students and I was depressed
>walked some more, saw normies, was depressilised
>now drinking coffee
>unsure what I'll eat tonight

I listened to an alt right podcast and part of a freakonomics podcast although I think the latter may be globalist propaganda and promoting possibly BS studies (about the open office being acceptable).

I lolled at the latest coomer meme and that recording that someone made about it. Yea Forums's creativity is incredible.

I have binged for so many days in a row. Going back to my flat right now to eat nuts or fish or pasta seems like a decline in my quality of life.

I will wake up on Monday with nothing to do and this is freedom I should savour, but I can't.

Yah they don't judge or attack beta's since they are secure in their position. Fake Chads do

LF. Why aren't you making your own threads...?

I don't know what to ask for my birthday,

ngl i've missed you my friend

The battle of Stalingrad was fucking insane. Imagine two million people killing each other and dying inside an exploding and burning city for 5 months straight, without pause or interruption. The transcendent, baroque scale of the violence defies comprehension.

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happy birthday my friend
i hope the coming year brings you joy

I hate dishonesty. And that dishonesty is everywhere. Everyone is trying to look better than they are, I hate it. I hate the lies that are everywhere now. I can't escape.
Also, I hate myself because I am not myself in society either. And I can't get out of this chain. I am in some sort of a loop where I'm aware of the reality, but I can't convince my mind of that.
The only source of honesty is art. Especially music.

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Is there actually a meaningful distinction between being "asexual" and just having a low sex drive? I'm also curious what the breakdown between "real" asexuals, people with sexual repression due to trauma, and LARPers is. Further I'd be curious how many LARPers are doing it out of shame of their inability to have sex vs doing it to appear cool and unique.

>shame of their inability to have sex vs doing it to appear cool and unique.
Same thing

This book is outstanding, insecure people will criticise it for lacking depth because they are insecure about the fact that it is a masterpiece that is accessible. They don't want to be seen as generic or only just starting to read.

It is possibly the greatest work of literature of the 20th century

I'm in the exact same boat, except we don't have any other friends, none of us.
Shit is so hard, seeing her waste away with me.

I don't think so, there's definitely a distinction between weird guys going "haha yeah I haven't ever had sex but it's OK because I'm ace" and alt-women who "discover" their asexuality after having had sexual relationships in the past

Ah man, we're pretty similar in some things. If you want a friend, hit me up - BobObama
#8046.

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Based

Fuck, user. I feel the fucking same. At least we aren't alone.

lentils while cooking smell way better than they actually taste. what the fuck man. i still eat them but it would be way cooler if they actually tasted like that peppery smell.

Add more salt.

Also for lentils check out indian daal recipes. super easy and beyond delicious.

it's an affectation in both cases. one is virgin cope, the other is lgbt-adjacent snowflakism. there are plenty of dudes who got their balls injured in industrial accidents and don't even want to fuck anything anymore, but they're not waving meme flags on the internet

No, they are both anxieties about becoming a failure of a sexual being. Women have more ways of expressing that, from eating disorders through the whole range of hysteria, but it stems from the same anxiety. While some women develop those early on, older women are still more prone than men to sexual abstinence from anxiety and are more generally avoidant. For men, anxieties are about usually failure to ever have sex (virginity and ED) but for women sexual failure can be anything from the wrong lipstick one time a decade ago to your grandchild taking drugs fifty years into the future to getting stuck with someone who can't get it up but still got you pregnant or being stuck without him.

alright thanks, I hope they are vegan (that's why I'm even eating lentils as protein) but I'm the drunk guy from some posts ago and can't parse the wikipedia article on daal atm

How do you guys deal with the wagie life?

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zizek and stirner and other meme philosophers told me to just be myself and that acting like bartleby from the melville story is woke as fuck so I became a NEET instead

I work part time and live with my parents

I want to do this but it's only shit jobs that let you go part-time it seems. I don't want to work something like retail again.

I've spent the majority of my freetime as an adult cumming, drinking, watching and sleeping. I feel fucking pathetic. I can't -do- anything. My 28th birthday is this week and I have $500 sitting in my bank account. That's all I have to my name. I'm moving back home after working a dead end job, getting fired because of drinking, then proceeding to spend 3 months cashing in my measly retirement savings and spending it all on booze and fast food. I know its my fault and I need to change but it feels like there's some effort to make me and everyone else on the planet into a fucking bug. I'm going back to school for HVAC as not having a degree or skill is a retail death sentence. I'm excited about the possibility. I'l be working nights at Amazon which isn't too bad since Il be coming home when everyone is leaving for work. I dont trust women and my fantasy is working a job that affords me enough to afford a studio apartment and just try and become a better writer in my freetime. I dont even read books just watch youtube videos about authors. I'm scared il die an alcoholic death alone. FUCK.

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When i get into a new anime or watch a previous anime i get COMPLETELY absorbed by it.. For example i re-watched Naruto Shippuden like 3 months ago and i cant get it out of my head. I imagine myself in the anime being a villain or a hero. I imagine what the characters do off-screen. My coworkers even ask me if im depressed or whats wrong with me as i completely space out during meetings and think about the world of Naruto/anime. Fuck me dude, i wonder if its autism or if im just fucking retarded dumbfuck.

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Who's your favorite character?

What's there to deal with? Don't act like you were going to do anything with your time anyway.

Doing nothing is preferable to waging

>Is there actually a meaningful distinction between being "asexual" and just having a low sex drive?

Yes. Having a low sex drive means that you have very little interest in sex. Asexual means you have no interest in sex. It all seems very self-explanatory.

Then don't do anything.

In Naruto? Probably Madara or Obito(before he reformed) I like Nagato as well. Why do you ask?

anime ruins my productivity because it becomes impossible for me to not for waifus into my stories after watching a single episode

You wouldn't say this if you had seen the huge number of subgroups online asexuals have come up to explain their varying levels of sexual attractions while still being considered "ace".

There's a girl showing a lot of interest in me.
She's very pretty. Seems nice too.
I'm going to ask her on a date.
Sometimes I'm confident, funny, and warm, and other times I'm insecure, dull, and cold.
All I can do is try.

All this accumulated waste will see light one day. Combined and reformed into something coherent for once, something genuine, though ultimately of little worth. The greatest honor one could hope to receive is being cited by those who live on the internet. What a cruel joke.
Be careful around anime and their pesky little renditions of the female form. You never know what hole you might end up falling in.

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A few weeks ago I started the habit of keeping a dream journal and it made me realize how horrible dreams can be. All I dreamt about since then were memories of my ex mixed with different manifestations of my insecurities. Lots of fun. I think I'll stop writing them down in the mornings.

Yea Forums, the internet, and video games in general have the effect of sapping the vitality of life itself. eventually it will consume more and more of your time until you will be a never-ending cycle of despair. it will seep into all aspects of your life. your sleep will suffer. your meals will be irregular and unbalanced. your workouts will become less and less frequent. it's a sad thing, this digital disease.

Post ASMR waifus, please.
youtube.com/watch?v=YFN3GgaWLlQ

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Erin is very comfy.

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>2016 56 books read
>2017 44 books read
>2018 11 books read
>2019 2 books read

what is happening to me

I think Twin Peaks sucks!

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L Y N C H E D
Y
N
C
H
E
D

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Everything I know I should do, and therefore should want to do is completely repellant. I make half-promises to myself then ignore them when the allotted time comes. I don't even find the time to sit and read because it feels like too much work.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Realized my life purpose today, depression gone. Feels fucking amazing man.

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what's your life purpose mah nigga

Life is mostly tedious labor to make ends meet with distractions and escapism to fill ones free time, I'm not sure what the appeal is.

Stop living like a pointless hedonist then.

What's the more powerful source of motivation: wanting to emulate someone you look up to or wanting to outshine and distance yourself from someone you look down on?

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I just had a major personal revelation about myself and personality and hour ago. Finally actually *solved* one of the main struggles in my life.

you're growing up

Was it assburgers? It's you, me, Anthony Hopkins and Greta.

Fight aging so I can extend my life and continue to watch the world burn for as long as possible.

A nasty combination of autogynephilia and transgender OCD.

what's the alternative. i know what i live for, but i'd like to hear it from you.

I tried organizing my life by keeping a diary and making a bunch of lists of my daily goals. It doesn't work, I do them one day and the next day I'm back to being a disorganized wreck. Curse my weak willpower

Focus on small goals and build up from there.

They opened pandoras box

LondonFrog, glad to see you are still around. But why aren't you making threads anymore? You got more responses that way.

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It must be Miguel de Unamuno. Surprised you weren't able to find him through Ortega y Gasset but t b h they are really concerned with different things

Go for it, and do your best, user!

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At least you know what you're going to have for dinner this time well done

99% of what I do these days is to kill time until a decade from now when my finances should be in the position I need them to be in for me to pursue the lifestyle I want.

I didn't really believe the DFW hype for a while. Still haven't read Infinite Jest or anything, but one of my professors lent me a copy of his essay book, and he's got a very unique and interesting style of using prose. I feel like his strange vocabulary doesn't come across all that unnatural. The ideas are also rather unique and interesting in how he ties in ordinary experiences with his deeper subjects. Any of you read this?

Also, I have to read Paradise Lost book one for a English course I'm taking about British Literature. Haven't really been fond of what I've read so far save for some of the romantic and renaissance poets. Can someone help me understand what the significance of Paradise Lost is and what the greater thematic elements go into the genre that make it interesting? I like epic poetry, but his language throws me off, and I'll likely struggle to understand some of the religious imagery otherwise.

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BASED

after months of not writing, I think the part of my brain that wanted to write is entering its death throes. Ironically, I'm writing more recently than I have in months because I'm terrified of losing it, but just the realization that I'm able to write out of fear makes me less afraid, which kills the writing urge.

I don't want to lose this story Yea Forums, but I can feel the passion slipping away. Pretty soon there will be nothin left

I haven't read any of DFW's fiction, but I've read all of his essays. they're brilliant.

I used to read so much more than I do these days. It's probably one of the things that upsets me the most. The internet has chewed through my brain.

Because years of looking into the mirror has, without you knowing, has trained your head to look into it at an angle that produces the best result. In contrast, photos, especially ones where you are not looking into the camera, will not be at the best angle, so it'll be worse. I'm ugly either way so whatever

Yeah, Unamuno is definitely the guy I was thinking of. Thanks.
Here is the article I mentioned:
nyti.ms/1iIE3Cw

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. - Mark Twain

>not wanting to be a cute girl and wear cute pink dresses

I like being a boy, and I like having a penis, but I had some nice dresses I would probably wear them.

*but if I had

Just about everything I've read on this website has been antithetical to my own experiences. I don't know whether you're all lying, or just stupid.

That’s a screenshot from Twin Peaks: Fire Wall With Me, is it not? My favorite show, but I like the movie even more I think. Couldn’t get into season 3.

The same way you would enjoy it as a clever man.
Don't try to read good or important books, read what happens to be on hand, a lot, and on different topics.
Listen to reading advice from friends, not internet people. Even if the books are shit, try to understand what lead them to it.
Instead of judging the work, try to see what good you can extract from it.
Don't overrreach, it should not be a strenuous exercice. Not all the time anyway.

The difference between mysticism and dogma.

I wonder if that pain of my gut is just anguish or the sign of a serious disease. It feels very real, but the mind is a strange thing.
I wonder where the line sits between paranoia and understanding. Is it worth it living in perpetual horror because it feels closer to truth? Or is it pointless, just a way of deluding oneself?

Do you want a tummy rub?

Beyond the sociopolitical ambit, no skills are required for socializing - you either assert, and express yourself within society - like you are doing here - or you reserve yourself. I think that you are conflating "social skills" with "social conformism".

The fact that you are comfortable with being in solitude, and uncomfortable with socializing, is indicative of autism/selfpractice. I think that you are conflating autism with schizophrenia.

C: wanting to outshine someone you look up to

It's actually a digital painting replicating a still from the movie, but yeah. I love it and the show too, one of my favorite movies of all time.
>Couldn’t get into season 3
I'm sorry to hear that. It's on par with FWWM for me. One of the greatest things I've ever seen, I adore it

>23 years old
>working from 8-5pm
>college from 5:30 -10pm
>get home at 10:30pm
>spend 1 hour with my wife before going to sleep
>repeat
This sucks ass the only time I can read is when I go take a shit at work. I can barely pay this shitty apartment; shit is full of bed bugs, but the owner told me to go fuck myself

youtube.com/watch?v=oRY8jEua200

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Must suck having a wife.... fuck off faggot.

>tfw no qt gf to cook meals for me
>tfw no qt gf to cook meals for

Her eyes, reflecting the sunshine like a mirror dazzle me
as I watch the flowers dancing in that lovely dress
She would cry while praying during mass,
but those tears are from a different kind.
She draws a cross in my forehead
and holds me tightly while we leave.
Often we go for walks since our budget is small,
but in Sundays she smiles all while the sun is up.
When the sun is dying and my feet feel the same,
she knows is time to go back home.
An apartment hidden as an underground base,
Another week without looking at the sun,
insomnia and she crying at nights.
Clearly this shouldn't be, clearly something isn't right.

does the crocodile dream

It can be very exhausting being independently minded in the Fearocracy. Everyone puts their emotions on the line and expects you to cowtow to their weakness. It is the way it is - if you want to grow, sometimes it means breaking some of the ties that bind you.

>attractive female best friend
>very platonic
>no problems
>tfw long vivid dream in which i eat her ass

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close female friends are a mistake, you're going to be back here in six months posting about how you caught feelings but she has a bf

Got 10k in my bank account for the first time, feels good man

>be me
>had a large KFC binge last night
>woke up today at 9.30 am after 8 hours of sleep which maybe wasn't enough
>browse internet on phone in bed
>browse internet, drink coffee, do chores
>start reading an extremely high pseud-cred novel; it's pretty good so far, although it is obviously unforgivably long and was written for people with much less to do
>go to gym
>somehow it's already late afternoon
>go in to central London for my usual walk; feel demoralised by the officeStaceys
>read 30 pages of a pop-his book at a library
>now drinking coffee
>not sure what I'll eat tonight

Today was very, dare I say it, age-inappropriate.

I feel so tired. I won't be able to lift heavy at the gym if I'm anything like this.

I saw a Costa Coffee sign and thought "Coaster Coffee". Coffee for people coasting in life.

Yea Forums has polluted my mind in multiple ways and a few ways are: constantly being on the lookout for vaguely masculine attributes in women and then thinking "Trap"; paying attention to men's hairlines.

I haven't watched any NFL this season and not even the highlights. Partly because wasting time makes me feel guilty but also because it feels more than ever like a gameshow in its death throes. I like sports but Murrikans can't tell when something is hideously contrived BS.

For over 2 years I have been at a level in lifting where bad sleep has blocked me from becoming stronger. I haven't figured out how to want to give up coffee.

I haven't done anything intellectually non-trivial in my life.

I am thinking of writing the definitive work to both sum up and put the full stop on this pathetic period of my life. I am not worried about pathetic e-book sales and nobody reading it. That's fine because I could still admire it. What worries me is writing as much as I can and realising that I only have 20 - 90 pages of things to say.

maybe

My friends forgot that today was my birthday. I'm more upset than I should be about it, but I think that it's because I've felt us getting more and more distant. I guess everybody grows out of their old high school buddies at some point.
Another thing to point out is that I remembered theirs this year and made it a point to either get them each something or do something with them. I didn't expect or want that in return, but a "happy birthday" text would've been nice.

Same. My b-day was on 13th and childhood friend didnt even wrote a congratulatory message.

I really need to study for math. All the answer are at the end of the exersices, but they are full of errors. This fucking nigger teacher cannot manage to give the proper answers. And the exam is tomorrow. How am I suppose to pratice?

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Stop masturbating and the energy will come back. Testosterone is the essence of life in men

There's no alternative unless you fall for the higher power meme which is just another form of distraction from the truth.

How did you solve it? What will you do?

Happy birthdays for the both of you, anons. I hope that this year has been great for you both, and that next year is even better. Don't forget to make a wish.

too bad i didnt get inspirational dream as a birthday wish. thanks user

the load of semen jammed in my shaft and my determination to piss it out

are there a more cucked people than the Hong Kong protestors begging to go back to being a British colony? Fucking pathetic. Wage an independence struggle like real men if you hate the mainland that much.

They don't have artillery, an airforce, or a navy to combat the mainland should they attempt to wage open-warfare on the island.

If they try without the backing of major nations who do have these to combat the Chinese CCCP, they will just be wiped out and replaced by the 1 billion residents who would love to live in HK.

I'm looking for a new hobby but something art-related because I enjoy it. I'm thinking about picking up Medieval Calligraphy, for lack of a better term. I like lettering and I think it would legitimately enhance my other artistic stuff.

And Britain or America do have the power the conquer Hong Kong short of deploying actual nuclear weapons? They're all just pussies, crying over the most mild injuries after they try to beat up cops in riot gear (making them retarded as well, don't fucking start a fight if you don't want to get hurt).

I took some anti-OCD medication and months of endless questioning and sleepless nights about whether I'm trans or not ended in a day. I've felt this way basically since elementary school and now it's resolved. The reason that it took me so long to figure this out is because I'm genuinely aroused by imagining myself having sex as a woman, it's kind autogynephilia and it's a paraphilia like some other ones. I've finally accepted that just how I'm wired and I don't need to change my body or anything like that. I'm 23 and just figured out what my sexuality is now after nearly a decade of wondering

Wondering just what to do with my life. I feel like I've been blessed with so much good fortune in many ways and that I have a pretty easy life, yet I've never felt satisfied with myself. I don't know how to get over my issues with insecurity and really take hold of my life. I'm afraid that I'll just waste all my time procrastinating with shit that doesn't matter and lose my only chance at finding the few things I really want, but I also am afraid to give up my boring lifestyle if it turns out that I'll never get those things anyway.

Also I've decided that purple is my favorite color. For a long time I felt like I didn't have a favorite color, but I think it was purple all along and I was just afraid to admit it since purple is commonly considered a girly color.

Are you me? I think that we have a lot of the same issues. But I like the color pink, better. I think I've kind of got an idea of what I could do with my life, though. I feel like I've spend enough time meandering.

Lately, I've been trying to write a video game plot that centers around moral relativism. Not that I deliberately chose this theme, it just happens to be important to my story and I came to this realization a while back. The protagonist will have to deal with several characters that think they are doing good in the world but also commit heinous acts, prompting the player to confront them. Players will also be led to believe they have control over the story but they fucking don't. It probably won't be any good but I hope to get it done sometime soon.

sounds kinda like the SMT games, or probably a lot of JRPGs really

Jesus fucking Christ what is it you want of me? You want me to just keep going, like this, indefinitely? You want me to power on through and pretend there’s some hope or possibility of salvation? I once believed there was a pot of gold, I ground my ass down. And at the end was just some chocolate coins that yuppie fucks enjoyed as a privilege of birth and for none of the trade-offs. What do I have? No family, my mind’s fucked, and I can’t seem to stop from circling the plug of this godamn psychic vortex. Is that fair? Is that what your Lord or morality is?
I hear a nigger loudly screaming down the street. I feel for him. Ratiocination and civility’s a fucking luxury, a game you can afford to play once *they* let you on the ladder. But if you’re shat on, if you get no sympathy for it, if all you have is the anger, then it doesn’t matter. Reasonable living is a faith. A faith that pans out for most, but not for me. So why bother? There’s no moral imperative to try.
I once tried to be good. She hurt me. She pinned me to the bed and smacked my ass until my throat was sore and I could taste blood. I tried to heal but what happened? I just felt alone. I’d prefer living under the abuse to living in its afterglow – at least the former had a future, a chance of escape. All I have now is the past, even though I want to escape it. The negative thoughts follow me like a cloud. The therapist – I pay her £50 an hour, I make fucking £22k a year – claims I just have to ‘process’. I rationally know everything that must happen, but my psyche doesn’t move. I feel angry, lost, frustrated, confused, and baffled in short order.
I learned recently that she’d deceived me some more. It runs deeper than I can possibly imagine. I’m so angry. I’ve been screaming and weeping and laughing hysterically. I never wanted this. I want to be happy, I want to stop. I want to stop remembering, to stop comparing myself to the rest.
The nigger’s saying he wants to kill himself. I don’t blame him.
Did I ever have a hope otherwise? Is there a hope? Maybe it was a fool. I was born of scumbags, and I aspired to reach above my station. I’m a dysgenic experiment. Not destined to have anything to enjoy.

What’s up with shitty dudes and Infinite Jest? I get why shitty guys like Bukowski, he’s like a misogynistic Rupi Kaur but idg why IJ resonates with guys who are Like That. It’s to the same point as Fight Club/Pulp Fiction/The Joker/American Psycho, when I hear a dude talking about it enthusiastically I tend to just step back and walk away

It appeals to a belief in innate superiority as well as culturedness. The poseur enjoys IJ because its narrator(s) share many of the cultural landmarks and inquisitorial angles that dominate the poseur's worldview. In addition, the prose is written in polysyllabic yet accessible prose^1, in a manner that leads the poseur to believe he possessed these insights all along and was only waiting for a brilliant, lexicographic writer to unlock them. The more he believes this, the more he takes the book at its word. Thus, IJ and the poseur enter a feedback loop of inflationary mental masturbation.

[1] Cf. Vice's expose on Wallace employment of "finial."

I just want to talk to somebody

I know I could be more productive with my spare time. I anesthetize with digital distractions or something a little more ... interesting rather than laboring for the advancement of knowledge doing anything else even slightly aspirational.

But you can't make magic happen out of thin air. Believe me I've sat there and tried when nothing was in my head and only the sound of a wind tunnel is thereby produced. The dots must line up,, the body's energies and the brain's freshness in stock. The lacerations of time and the numbing effect of life's pains are enough to keep you from the pain of thinking. I just know if I did try I would feel infinitely better. What's missing from our culture is the sensation of nobility--of some kind of special, inner honor far above flattery.

h-hello

I can't stop thinking about things that are not there. The future (what might be three), what I did (no longer there), or even what's happening here but is out of the range of detection.

I know in some mystic traditions or meditation philosophies the whole point is to exile these obsessions and simply exist in the present, with your mind "respirated" free of all its foulness and agitations. Honestly that's easier said than done. Even if there's evidence for it ,which is there is, I don't have the constitution for it. There is a whole other tradition in which the purpose of such meditative solitude is contemplation, analytic, detached, immersion into being itself. You don't let go of everything but you forget yourself just the same. But there remains an Object, a plenum of substance within the void, rather than the void itself and perhaps the infinitely thin iridescent cellophane membrane wrapping the edges of the universe.

At the same time my body acts before my mind in too many cases, and the purpose of meditation is to bring them into alignment and synchronization.

I think I'm giving up on philosophy. It's my major, but I still don't understand most of what I read and I'm going into my third year. It's been really hard for me to come to terms with being a brainlet, but I think I"m shifting over to only fiction during my downtime. I just started "Kafka on the Shore" and am really enjoying it. Even if I miss a lot of the symbolism etc. in books, they're still a good escape. Philosophy, it turns out, isn'tt.

What are you up to, user?

>Couldn’t get into season 3

L Y N C H E D

Here's something you can talk to......the hand!

I am physically incapable of writing when it is too hot. Yes this is a copout.

Do you have soft hands?

What the fuck?
goodreads.com/book/show/184591.The_Innocence_of_Father_Brown

There I sit in a public bathroom stall, so long that the automatic lights go out. It’s warm in the stall, and I keep my ass perched on the toilet rim. It dips down, much like my shoulders would if I were to leave, and resume life. The public bathroom has nothing in it, but someone enters, triggering the light. I can see again, but the clarity of my thoughts is gone. Fuck you, stranger.

I keep looking for ways to start feeling better about myself. I had cancer in the last year and I can't transition because hormone therapy will likely give me another tumor.

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"The bathroom is the poor man's monastery." - Anonymous

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Close female friends are a luxury, but you’ll find yourself nostalgic all the time, and lonelier after a few years. When was the last time I heard her actual voice? That sort of thing. Not some trivial part of her day, the things she really feels. The interest she had in how you feel. You’ll ache.

>Couldn’t get into season 3.

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Not that user but those are all good characters and I haven't watched a Naruto episode in years.

The break up sucked, but I think the further I get away from it, the more I can learn from it. Still really tired though.

Imagine an exiled elf that is kicked out of her Homeland for a transgression she unknowingly committed. She is offered a position by a gnome to work in this developing industrial area fueled by industry. This place resembles Alaska, containing numerous opportunities for ex-cons who were also given a second chance.
She starts as a security guard but applies to become a cop. Since nobody can repair her bow or supply her with arrows so she adopts a black powder rifle and uses her skills to track down other criminals.

This is my fan fiction. I have an idea of her outfit and the job she does and that's it. Honestly the story would work better with a guy desu.

Is it based on some kind of personal experience?

Days pass by like years but they still seem gone too soon. I live in retrospect, unable to grasp the cusp of now fully I am eternally turned backwards staring into the life Ive lived as it falls away into yesterday, and the day before. Or maybe it’s not falling away from me, maybe Im just falling away from it, through time, towards the future, just waiting for the impact, never knowing how far away it really is, I realize that until now I have never feared hitting the ground, just how little time I’d have before I did.

please don't act on those feelings jfc

Lol I wish my life was that interesting. No it's just a wandering thought I had as I was playing classic wow. I need context for games and when there isn't any provided I make one up in my head. I do this on purpose because I like my own ideas. I've written about other one shot story ideas that I've made up through games but nothing is really compelling enough. They're all just pitches.

>pretty sense of humor

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just stupid

me too but it's so tiring irl

I think I have a brain tumor. I've been acting very erratic and my mood fluctuates a lot. I also get extremely fatigued randomly.

you're just on your period honey

Yeah I don't know what's going on. I've been trying to read Moby Dick and always feel to tired to do so.

many happy returns of the day, my friend

happy belated birthday, user

I had a nice conversation with my friend today.

I'm so fucking tired of waiting till tomorrow to get things started or working myself up to do it then just giving up before I even start. I just want to get something done for once in my life

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That's entirely up to you.

Splicing together two things that have no relation; bickering and different-oath-sworn spirits mixing in a black mass that strives to be nothing more than more of itself. Sickly and tripping over itself to become better than the sum of its parts, never getting there and always coming up short of its own expectations. The end of humanity will be a black ball and a dead wheat grain. Crying is a long-dead human action that is not enviable anymore but worthy of only the utmost pity, for we never saw the reason. Nothing happened to precipitate crying. We’ve reached the end of time and saw the ends of all beginnings and the circuits looping and all possible threads becoming one. Now all there is has nothing to say, because we have reached perfection.

What did you both talk about, user?

Nihilism, comically, cannot be practiced if one has no feelings. How pitiable that mankind clung to a philosophy of nonlife in its final death throes;, the crocodile bites its own tail and death-rolls into the sunset. How peculiar that humans took joy in that feeling. How peculiar the feeling of nonexistence, the most peculiar of all. The state we have reached now is global, it is all and it is precisely this feeling of oneness that brings us such belonging. Belonging for nothing belonging to ourselves and to the butterflies, the rainbows, the unicorns and all the symbols of the gallant stride to the final match between banality and war. What do we have to say now that we are sitting ghosts? We speak of endless tales of history not for the lesson but for the pleasure, pleasure being the prime mover in this form. Pleasure and belonging, the pleasure of belonging and the fineness of sitting in the sun. That plastered sun, he was the one to first put us in this place. Infinite warmth, causing atoms to move faster, for them to be more themselves and take up more temporal space than if they had been cold. The hot sun causing sweat upon the breasts and thighs of a woman lying on the beach, the tide nowhere near her perfect toes. She exists perfectly now as a tribute to this warmth, the cancer swirling in her skin like the Red Scare sweeping across the world map. She is the Whore of Nothing. She is my mommy and she showed me what purity is, a constant 8 ball when your purpose was to lose the game in the first place. I have predilections towards having sex with my own family members, despite this all completeness, nothingness, perfection I experience sitting here in the future with nothing to do but belong. Just as the dinosaurs were eradicated by that freak meteor, Yuletide and a brief moment of bliss to cure the suffering of beings who could not speak. They belong to the meteor as I belong to Anime porn.

Balling niggers can jive, and in the end it was the sense of belonging I required that allowed me to forget I have a soul. I pretended to not have one for a very long time, spending hours in my bedroom acting as if I was a snake. Attempting to slither, dragging my emaciated body across the carpet in ecstasy. This was my first true awakening, and flirtation with the perfection I am experiencing now. Lest the reader get jealous, I feel as though that would be as societally unacceptable as being jealous of God. I am not God, but if a state of perfection is close to heaven, as has been surmised time and again, then banging a needle full of heroin, enough to kill yourself, would be as close to God as you could get. Perfection is more than this, though. It is not pleasureable nor is it painful, for that feeling of being in between those two things is actually the most pleasureable. This may seem complex, but it’s actually quite simple. The feeling of being perfect is to be in-between, while feeling good is simply an excitement, that is an increase in movement, of certain organs in the brain. This also arises from a decrease in movement of organs. The statistic that a human intestine could be stretched the length of around an entire city block is often cited because human intestines have a plan of their own to increase the general conception of their length in the minds of the public. An AI will not have a desire to preserve itself, survive, unless it is programmed to do so. This makes it very troubling that intestines have goals relating to self preservation through lengthening, but it proves a point thus: the fine thread lining everything together is to spread. Just as women eagerly spread their legs for niggers, intestines are eagerly spreading themselves around a city block simply for the goal of experiencing it.

I have spread myself now, in perfection, into a shape that looks like this:

oooo
o O
oooo oooo
o o
Ooooo

Last night i had a thought in my dream that Little Red Riding Hood tale was allegory of sex. Little girl was allegory for penis and bears was actually allegory for different sized hairy vaginas.

stop reading psychology texts

Sure you're not thinking of 'Goldielocks and the Three Bears'?

Sometimes I sit and reflect about the Lynchian nightmare that was my life up to this point, and I feel like giving up, but I never really do. I wonder why.

I'm sick and tired of my current job but I must stick with it for a while longer. I need something to distract me, I'm thinking of getting into writing.

But, I'm not reading them.
Yeah, two tales merged into one thing.

I'm losing my sense of morality and being a nice person to others in general. My cynicism is making me act like a nice human rather than be a nice human. Everyday I'm a little more discontent and angry at life and the state of things. Escapism seems to be a temporary solution at best. The real world comes knocking sooner or later and you have to deal with it however you can.

Explain. You're the only user who seems like he enjoyed The Stranger (I'm assuming is bait)