You don’t read your own posts, do you?

You don’t read your own posts, do you?

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The writer never reads his work. It is, for him, illegible, a secret. He cannot linger in its presence. It is a secret because he is separated from it. However, his inability to read the work is not a purely negative phenomenon. It is, rather, the writer's only real relation to what we call the work. The abrupt noli me legere brings forth, where there is still only a post, the horizon of a different strength. This noli me legere is a fleeting experience, although immediate. It is not the force of an interdict, but, through the play and the sense of words, the insistent, the rude and poignant affirmation that what is there, in the global presence of a definitive text, still withholds itself - the rude and biting void of refusal - or excludes, with the authority of indifference, him who, having written it, yet wants to grasp it afresh by reading it.

shit i aint even read in general

I smugly re-read my posts multiple times. It's a bad habit, honestly. I seek validation while also realizing that I'm the only person who can fully understand and appreciate myself. I wish I could stop smugly re-reading my posts and just focus on something productive like reading a book.

yeah, i know the feel. I write these really drawn out and egocentric paragraphs, then get annoyed when people don't get it. There is often nothing to get. It's just narcissistic mess of ideas and personal experiences, with which I hope to repress the thought that I'm just a mediocre dude with well above average verbal intelligence, but nothing to show for it. I'm also dumb as a rock when it comes to pragmatic reasoning, which I'd argue is at least equally important.

Only when they get a lot of (You)s, I giggle while reading them.

>yes, as soon as i post them

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If I make a good post I pace around whispering it to myself about half a dozen times as I wait for (You)'s

It's like I can't manipulate time and space in my mind well enough to make any meaningful contribution in those areas. I'd never be a good engineer, or a manager. both of these require good insight and overview of time and space. I always feel like my perception of time is so warped, I can't even make simple decisions or manage what I do with my day. I just start reading or watching youtube and see where it goes from there.
Everything is linked to words, abstract concepts and emotions within my brain. I function almost solely on impulse otherwise. It has caused lots of misunderstandings and depression within my life, and I suspect there are others here who share the same feeling. If anyone reads this, thx for giving me attention and a dopamine hit. let's just be honest.

I think my posts are much more intelligent than the average Yea Forums poster. Sometimes I'll make a post and see my same rhetoric re-used the next day on a different thread by another user which makes me feel appreciated, but rarely if ever do I get direct appreciation for my posts.

I also notice my sentence structures and vocabulary re-used by other anons from time to time. Imitation is the highestyadayada.
Even the fact that I can recognize my own sentence structures on other people's posts gives me an ego boost.

yeah and they're the best all times because i'm a genius not to mention i'm pretty

it's really easy to recognize blanchot's writing

Is that a good thing?

i wouldn't know, but i like it; to recognize unsourced quotations of him so easily is comfy cuz more of him is always welcome
also, do you know where i could get the writing of the disaster? there's a djvu of it on libgen but it's bad. also, it's got his interpretation of the myth of narcissus at the end which is quite fitting to the thread

All right, I'm of the same opinion, though I wasn't sure: if the style would become perhaps a bit too well worn, recognizable, etc.
There's a pdf of The Writing of the Disaster on library.memoryoftheworld.org (it's not a scan conforming to the original page no.s tho); otherwise it's also on scribd (there's workarounds to download from there).

I do the exact same thing as if I'm trying to etch it into my mind so that the next time the topic is brought up I can reply in a similar manner.

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lmao, so pretentious, who's that bitch?

thank you!

I love women who look similarly to me and have similar personality traits to me. I love looking these women in the eyes, knowing that we are kindred souls and seeing the same look of admiration reflected back at me. It isn't even a sexual thing, I admire them as the great people they are. I don't know if this is narcissism or if this is what everybody feels.

I think the people who look like me have the greatest personalities and are the most respectable people. I think they are kind-hearted people, creative, intuitive and intellectual. I don't know if this is bias, maybe I only take notice of the people who look like me. I will note that I have never personally met an evil/disgusting person who looks like me; meanwhile the majority of the general population annoy or disgust me.

If it makes you feel any better, the toilet of the internet is the perfect place to expel your verbal feces. Keep posting and keep flushing.

I do. Then I instantly regret posting the crap I just read

I read my own writing and it feels like an alien entity.

sorry to bother again: are you well versed in blanchot? i wouldn't say i am but everything of his i've read i've liked, i can recognize his style from afar and feel intimate comradeship with his ideas to the extent it weirds me out when someone else mentions him/ them outta nowhere--anyways i'd love to discuss them with someone but i haven't got anyone right now
/if not it's fine. thanks again for the website, it's got a lot of stuff i was looking for, even some baudrillard stuff

Whenever I'm arguing with someone on here I'm compelled to re-read my posts over and over to check for any points of attack I left open, all the while updating the thread every 10 seconds for their response. I reevaluate my post based on the answer I get and read it a final time in a 'that's that' kinda way depending.

In any community, subtle imitation is common. You aren't impervious to this.

I'll sometimes go around Yea Forums and /his/ and /sci/ in the early hours of the morning, posting bullshit while I'm dozing off in my chair half-awake, and add every thread to my watcher for later. The next day I'll go and see what shenanigans I got up to.

I write furry erotica, jerk off to it once, then delete it in shame.
Am I based or cringe?

Based

Just about every post above me is excessively narcissistic. Its not surprising to see this board is filled with people of such low calibre

How exactly does one stop seeking validation so much ?
The most embarrassing example for me is the endless amount of time I spend in creating these dumbass music charts and then I just keep looking at them again and again as if it's something important. And then I post them in a place like Yea Forums for example and get all giddy for a positive response.

I have been told that I have good taste a few times, and i know that it frankly doesn't matter if people think that I'm good or not, yet I just keep chasing this rush of dopamine in pretty much everything that I do. It's a real fucking disease. I think i'm just trying to convince myself that i'm doing something useful in my time when in reality i'm just another useless piece of shit spending his days staring at a screen.

Care to post user?

sure since you asked for it.

I just want to stop being a slave to what other people's opinions so damn much. If somebody has any books to recommend for taking my head out of my ass that would be most kind of you.

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>he doesn't browse through months-old archives to screenshot his own posts

Oh you're so much better than the low calibre narcissists on here. I'm glad we have you to save us with your high quality posts.

I have a chastity belt with a masturbator attached to it. Whenever I get a (you), it automatically shafts a gigantic fucking dildo into my ass.

How old are you? How long do you think you've been doing this?

Also, that Tzusing album is based.

I'm 18 years old at the moment. Been doing this chart thing for about a year, but my obsession with my appearances really hit me hard ever since I went to university. The best way to put it wouldn't be chasing validation from strangers, but rather chasing universal respect.
The real joke here is that people actually do like me, i've been blessed with an overwhelming amount of positive interactions during the short time I have spent on this Earth. I'm very grateful to be surrounded by such a great entourage. And yet, I keep looking for more like an absolute idiot.

Nothing scares me more than falling into blind narcissism.

I was the same at your age, to some extent, but with a very carefully cultivated Last.FM profile.

You'll grow out of it. Not out of some deliberate attempt at bettering yourself but you'll just slowly find that other, more important things, occupy your time.

I really hope so, user. Thank you for the words of encouragement, I highly appreciate it.

Have sex.

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how else would I read intelligent remarks?

why do we talk about french pedophiles on Yea Forums?