Worked five years on a murder mystery novel

30 is relatively young for a writer. Also, writing =/= publishing.

>pay $500 for a professional cover

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If anything 30 is right at the beginning of the success window

>giving up after the first try
Never gonna make it.

>pay $500 for a professional cover
???

How did you pay $500 for a cover?

meme it here more

Post a link and I will purchase a copy, if it's reasonably priced and if this is not a larp thread

People are flooded with information. You can't expect to self-publish a book, do zero marketing, and then just randomly succeed. That doesn't happen. Where would I have heard of your book? As someone who reads, how would I find myself purchasing your book? Why is it self published instead of through a publisher, who can market for you and put your book on shelves? There's a reason people don't self-publish, it's impossible to get seen

>>pay $500 for a professional cover
>>self publish it
How about you get a publishing agent next time? And yes, if no one is willing to pick it up and publish it, it means it's probably shit and not worth anyone's time in this market.

Unfortunately you need marketing, charisma, social media nowadays.

Get an agent.

>5 years for a murder mystery
Rookie mistake. Pulp fiction should take you 3 months, 6 months top for you to be even competetive in a schlock market.

How many marketing have you done? I admire your effort, but if that's all you did it's only half of the job.

So start calling bookstores and libraries till you make a sale, loser. It's not complicated.

Your problem is that you put all your effort in the wrong places. A little bit of effort in promotion will pay out hundreds of times over in dividends. Extra effort in writing will not. Put your effort where it will matter most. How many times have you heard some successful writer say "I shopped the manuscript around to 17 different publishers and they all said no"? There's a reason they actually got something published and you didn't. They're probably not even better writers than you, but they are far smarter where it counts.

it sucks you actually wasted that much time but unfortantely any labor of love is more labor than love. its all business and most if not all the time what you do is about how you run your business and less what your actually selling

>nobody reads books anymore
>write and publish book
>nobody reads it

WOOOOOOOW

I'm going to build on this. What did you do to try to get published? Did you get an agent? Did you try? Were you rejected publishing as a white male--did you even come up with a black female name to use instead? Did you try every U.S. publisher? How about the English ones? Australian? Instead of dumping your manuscript in the pile with the rest, did you research and begin by reaching out to potential editors so they at least know your name? Did you network? Did you talk to other writers and ask them how they got published? Did you follow up on names, references, contacts? Did you call up a publisher on the phone and ask to make an appointment at their office? Did you DM some murder mystery hack writer on Twitter and ask how you should go about publishing your book?
In short, did you even try at all? Surely a book five years in the writing would be worth a year's worth of work to publish?

>What did you do to try to get published?
I sent to 50 agent queries
>Did you get an agent?
no they dont even respond to even reject you buncha cunts

>Were you rejected publishing as a white male--did you even come up with a black female name to use instead?
should I use a chinese name?

>Did you try every U.S. publisher? How about the English ones? Australian?
you know only publishers deal w agents and think your a creepy stalker fucko

> Instead of dumping your manuscript in the pile with the rest, did you research and begin by reaching out to potential editors so they at least know your name?

everyone feels troubled to be bothered and gets mad. was working w a jewish editor 5 yrs and he was my boss and blew off my email. no one helps a soul in this world. even my friends and family dont give me encouragement.

>Did you network?
people do not like to be bothered thats the truth

>Did you talk to other writers and ask them how they got published?

other writers especially are competitive, and insecure.

>Did you follow up on names, references, contacts?
I live between the usa and russia, in russia you do things like this your likely to get told to sit down and shut your ass

>Did you call up a publisher on the phone and ask to make an appointment at their office?

they would laugh at you behind your back. dont you see editors and quiery agents on twitter, and reddit, laughing about all the authors they reject?

>Did you DM some murder mystery hack writer on Twitter and ask how you should go about publishing your book?

if I did that they would take my name down and try to sabotage me in the future. people are more competitive and malicious than you seem to understand

I used to work for newspaper agency , you want ame to be like the creepy freaks who called us persistent that we laugh at and worry theyll come in with a gun?

it is called The Peculiar Investigations of Felix Mathis.

You payed $500 for THIS?

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People are malicious and awful, true, but only when it benefits them. You cannot, CANNOT, get anywhere in this world alone. You have to make contacts and friends.
>I sent to 50 agent queries
>no they dont even respond to even reject you buncha cunts
Did you call them on the phone? They have to at least reject you if you speak with them. Have you tried to meet any in person?
>should I use a chinese name?
Maybe. I just mean you should say what you have to say, walk how you have to walk, and lie where you have to lie in order to get the payoff you've worked so hard for all these years.
>everyone feels troubled to be bothered and gets mad. was working w a jewish editor 5 yrs and he was my boss and blew off my email. no one helps a soul in this world. even my friends and family dont give me encouragement.
He blew off your email? Call him. Talk to him in person. No one gives you encouragement? Bullshit. I'm giving you encouragement.
>people do not like to be bothered thats the truth
People don't like to be bothered but often like to be useful. It stokes their ego, if nothing else.
>other writers especially are competitive, and insecure.
pure cope lmao
>they would laugh at you behind your back. dont you see editors and quiery agents on twitter, and reddit, laughing about all the authors they reject?
And your job is to fail and get yourself laughed at until you succeed. You're as bad as one of those incels who's afraid to ask a girl out since he thinks she'll just laugh.
>if I did that they would take my name down and try to sabotage me in the future. people are more competitive and malicious than you seem to understand
These levels of paranoia seem clinical. You may need psychiatric help.

It can be done. Idiots have done it. You can do it too--don't call it quits.

>500 dollarydoos for something knocked up in 10 minutes of GIMP
brah...

What is the title of your book, I'll buy a copy on Amazon and even give it a slightly over mediocre review. I won't read it though.

>this shit cover
>#1, when it is your very first novel
>that long and cringy title

user, what the hell are you doing?

Also, tell us about the central mystery, is it at least something interesting?

>Giving up at first failure
Failure is necessary for success
>sticking to the formula of what people did in the past to make it as a writer, and not adapting to the market
That doesn't work anymore user, we aren't boomers. You have to forge your own path. Also, try some new way to get your book out, whether that be in unique formats or social media, just hit the consumers from an angle they haven't been hit at
>believing incel memes about making it by 21 or giving up
They're losers, look how their beliefs do them, not well
>Not being proud of what you did

But your biggest mistake
>Thinking you can do it all on your own
I mean, yeah, you did, but humans achieve the greatest of things with the help of others. It would have been much better if you maybe had friends giving you critique, someone you know who can draw, a proper editor, and good guidance. Try again, user, assuming this ins't bait.

Commission artists are the biggest fags ever. They charge ridiculous prices, do half-assed work, usually flake out on you, and then get pissy when you have criticism or want a refund.

>mystery novel
kys

>Felix Mathis is a regular 14 year old boy with the usual problems. As well as struggling with school bullies, strange crushes and troublesome parental issues he also happens to have brilliant powers of deduction and a burning desire to become the world’s greatest detective. But when his sleep is disturbed by a series of loud crashes seemingly coming from beneath his house and his best friend, Morgan tells him of a fiendish plot to injure their fellow student Ellie Baldwin, Felix cannot even begin to imagine the dramatic and dangerous path his investigations are set to lead him on. As Felix struggles with his own investigations, Dominic Chase (a grizzled American spy) and Scarlett Romonova (a Victorian explorer who’s been frozen in time) two operatives working for the secret government agency SPIT, face a parallel struggle to control their latest house guest, a live Velociraptor, in a secret base deep beneath Felix’s house.As the world's of both Felix and the Agents inevitably collide, they are forced to join forces in order to take down a mad Professor and stop his complex and evil plan, re-designing the genetic make-up of a number of kidnapped children and turning them into modern day versions of histories most notorious bad guys . Along the way Felix is inducted into the Agency, must navigate a trap filled secret wing in the hospital, avoid reincarnated prehistoric beasts, fight zombified paramedics and come face to face with the evil genius, Prof. Callum Doyle.
Well, would you read it, Yea Forums?

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How many pages did it take to cram in so much shit?

>187 pages
I almost want to read it to see just how bad it is.

258 pages

This hurt to read

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>deep American accent

Straight from 1995

>One minute, Scarlett
>Don’t do anything until I get there
>I’ve got your ass covered

Fucking kek. You have this elaborate explanation for how his voice reverberates but who fucking cares? It doesn’t add anything. Nothing interesting is being elaborated on, you’re just describing a mundane detail. Is the rest of your book like this?

cont.

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>and then again with the ASS(Albanian Secret Service)

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>500$
man what the fuck is this shit
op got scammed
someone on /gd/ would've designed a better cover for a (You)

cont.

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>Scarlett Romonova
Why not just name her Russia Russinsky?

Should've spent that $500 on an editor instead

I feel like this is a troll. There's no way you spent $500 on that cover. It's a stock photo with a solid red section and a solid yellow line with some text overlaid on it. For $500 they should have made some custom art for you. Damn.

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You're one ugly motherfucker

OP is beyond help at this point.

You're a writer, not a musician. You don't have to make it before 30. In fact, you more than likely won't as a writer.

>ASS (Albanian Secret Service)
I literally cannot stop laughing at this, idk why it's so funny lmao

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Not OP but in my own book I kinda make a joke at this shit by naming an antagonist Vladimir Mcbadguy

please post more this shit is funny af

I'm going to switch to exclusively reading works of literature like this, every time I read an excerpt I always end up feeling happy, I need to continue chasing this high.

OP u da man!

>le self-aware meta name
neal stephenson already did this almost 30 years ago buddy

Women are done with 30, but as a man you have your prime still ahead.

Posting in a quite shocking thread

>ASS

OP your vulnerability is frightening.

Quality comedy itt

You can still be a writer dude, I write trash tier furry smut and publish it on SF for free.
Maybe one day someone will compile my work and find all the easter eggs and references I hid in it.

If this is you in the Pic you have much bigger problems

What a depressing faggot. No wonder nobody wants to read your garbage.

lmfao get the fuck off /lit and go pander to reddit. jesus christ!

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OP's only mistake was taking 5 years to write a single book. He should've been pumping out 1 every two months -he'd unironically be rolling in money right now if he wrote pulp fiction on a consistent basis for 5 years straight.

>ASS
I exploded reading this on my job. Got a lot funny looks. This CANNOT be real. This is just an elaborate autistic prank.

You need to right a book like that every few months if you want to succeed with this level of writing.
And you need a strongly market it to children.

/thread

See, this is where your problem lies. Your title and cover are super shit, you should have called it "In Europe with the ASS" and put a nice ass as the cover art.

Look, the fact that the book is written with barely a grasp on English is actually good news. For pulp shlock, you don't need fancy writing talents, just a basic, lucid, commandable prose style. In other words, rather than the world being insurmountably set against you, the only challenge between you and an audience is getting the same basic proficiency in English that millions of others have achieved as well.

>In Europe with the ASS

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>>worked five years
>>pay $500 for a professional cover
>didnt get a single sale

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>Murder mystery

go back to

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I'm saving this thread just in case this isn't a troll and OP gets widely-known one day, which is highly unlikely but hey.

your hard drive will fail and rust away to nothing before that happens

Bro I would've made you a better cover for free; this is sad.

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>American accent
I love how it's not elaborated so it could be South American for all we care

This has got to be a joke thread

I wasn't alive 30 years ago buddy and if you think any meaningful originality exists in a world of billions then congrats on being braindead enough to think a namedrop of some nobody more talented than you makes you have significance

is that alexa chung?

>Scarlett Romanava
That's literally Scarlett Johansson + Natasha Romanov (Black Widow's real name) LMAO

>S. D Shaw
what kind of name is this??

Did you even advertise?

yeah I've been self-publishing stuff for years

You have to build a following somehow in order for people to want to buy something. It's nearly impossible to sell a book as a stand-alone product.

Yeah only way I can sell mine is vainly as erotic fiction as a side to my webcamming. Once I sold a fea some people were interested in the more serious stuff I wrote.

OP don't worry, as a ESL I found your style quite intriguing and wanted to read more. Personally I just want to advise you pf not cramming too many details of your multiple book series into the first book(e.g. Artemis Fowl). Keep your cool, you achieved something.Now get better as to HOW you do it!

why did you leave the periods in the title you mongoloid?

> not young like all you
Could you wait till you're a little older before you start saying things like that

>I'm 30 years old
HAH. You still have a good 35 years or so. Not even halfway done, user. Once you're nearing 70 then you can start worrying. You've merely given up.

Have you even paid for advertising?

People on Fiverr can make better covers than most "professional" hacks you'll find anywhere else for half the price. So yeah, why the hell did you pay so much fucking money, OP?

user, have you read the excerpts posted above?
there's no point in advertising this absolute turd of a book. OP should have never published, just shelved it and started working on another one, which will undoubtedly be better.

that doesn't sound like a murder mystery novel at all. is this really OP's? where's the audiobook?

Top fucking kek, oh my God.

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b8 illumin8'd, op is fegetio

case closed boys, op is retarded

Lmao why the fuck would I buy that?

It's just that no one reads books anymore. Aside from a few exceptions. If you really want to get your book sold, you NEED TO BECOME POPULAR IN SOCIAL MEDIA FIRST. That, of course, requires that you get to fuck sometimes (if a man) or have relationships (if a woman), so that you can have friends to post pictures of on your social media page. As no one wants to be a friend of a loser who is not having sex (if a man) or relationships (if a woman) and no one bothers to follow a loser who has no friends. So, if you're ugly or something and do not get to fuck you can't sell books. Simple as that!

The fuck it is gone. There are many people who change their field of profession older than that, and succeed. And many people graduate for their first profession in your age, esp. if doing PhD's.

But you need to remember the importance of social media. It's pretty hopeless these days to succeed as a writer without social media attention. Unless you're a genius or know people on the field.

>These levels of paranoia seem clinical. You may need psychiatric help.
It is not really, except maybe for a NORMIE, who has a circle of friends and social networks to support them. If you're loner, or even an outcast, PEOPLE HAVE NO MERCY in putting you down, and SABOTAGING YOU. That is because they can do it without much of danger of having to pay back. Because your position in the social hierarchy is very low, for you being an outcast. Also, no one will defend you or join you fighting against your enemies. Also you might not even get to hear what others have done to sabotage you because you are an outsider. The world is a very different place to someone who is a loner/outcast than your usual normie.

Why even start writing if your IQ is lower than 100?

>30yo
You are barely old enough to be taken seriously.

tl;dr and this is just the cover holy shit

Within minutes the elevator reached the bottom floor. Chase darted into the foyer, empty and dimly lit, and darted to the bulky security door. As he typed the password into the security panel, Chase wondered what kind of monstrosity would greet him ahead. Scarlett Romanova always brought some beasts home.

You need an editor, m8.

>self publish
>probably don't even bother with marketing and just hope your book sells

He's just scamming you retards for a couple of dollars

this. bait central and all the anons are eating it up

>muh comedically bad prose
>MAH BAD COVER XD
>hahhahahahaa! ASS!

Lol

>implying you can't make it as a musician after 30

Isn't everything archived anyway?

Yea Forums got scammed, that S. D. Shaw guy and OP don't seem to be the same person

sdshawauthor.com

good comedy thread tho

>>worked five years on a murder mystery novel
>can't plan and write a murder mistery in 6 months
How does it feel to be illitterate?

it's bait. how does it feel to be retarded?

Bamboozled

yeah the book posted was clearly not OP's, but S D Shaw seem pretty retarded
>He frequently frequents Fiverr to Ghost for others
>He is the CEO and fonder of SDSHAW Author Creations
>His mind is complex and his heart is true, albeit a little tinged with darkness

I would literally be embarrassed to have that in my bookshelf, looks like some shit you'd get in a plastic bin for a dollar

The guy does need to fuck but the girl doesn’t have expectations, not even in having a vagina

>frequently frequents

OMG M A R V E L comi- I mean graphic NOVELS amirite guys?

Is there a term for this?

user...

>His arms on the other hand were only 40 years old due to a weird congenital birth defect.

Frequents...

Alrighty, this made me laugh. Thanks

i like foert nite oh yeah oh yeah i love to floss on them heaters
want to play fortnite with me person who made this post that would be very crunchy and delicious i think maybe

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> $0 on promotion
You deserve failure.

YES SHE HAS EXPECTATIONS. She needs to have relationships to be able to have friends to post pictures of on social media to get some following. Because no one wants to be friend of a female loser who has no relationships, and no one wants to follow a loser with no friends. And obviously, only a few people by books written by a loser who has no following.

Then again you could always do something shocking in the internet, like run naked on the streets and film it. THEN you will get followers even if you have no friends. But, then again, you need to self publish after that, as no sane publisher will accept your work after you having been crazy.

>Create a website which has a link to your books on Amazon
>Write short stories and thoughtful essay's and post them on your website
>Shill your shit on /litl/ and other literature forums
>Hope that a few people will read, and hopefully shill your work
>Look if the snowball starts rolling
>If it didn't, repeat from step 2

Steve Shaw was born in 1979 so he is 40. So maybe he is lying about his age knowing there is younger people here and using someone else's image. He's also experienced rejection among publishers so that he has to self publish. Maybe it's Steve who started this thread. Sorry have no time to read it through entirely or his site either to know better.

>five years
>on cheap genrefiction
were you writing at the breakneck pace of two words a day? clearly it's not for you, now fuck off, retard.

Stop using amateurs, I'm 100% pro (don't ask at what) and I made you this free cover art in like five minutes, just use this and I guarantee you you'll get tons of sales.

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lel

What do you know he is doing aside from writing? He could have a job and a family, even hobbies. If you have many things on your list to do, you won't write much in a day. But hey, you already knew it. YOU ARE JUST A PIECE OF FUCKHEADED FILTH WHO TRIES TO UPGRADE HIS STATUS IN SOCIAL HIERARCHY BY LOWERING SOMEONE ELSE'S STATUS, BY TELLING THEM THAT THEY ARE RETARDS WHO SHOULD FUCK OFF. AND I FUCKING WANT TO KILL YOU ALL. BOTH IN THIS THREAD AND IRL. AS FUCKHEADS OF YOUR KIND DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE. Not only because you are doing the wrong thing but because you are so complete crap that you have no other means to upgrade yourselves.

I'm not OP though. I just hate fuckheads.

retard

I will repeat:
>5 years to write 187 pages of crappy genre fiction

Just over 36 pages a year, so almost exactly a tenth of a page a day. Slow and steady wins the race.

>in my own book I kinda make a joke at this shit by naming an antagonist Vladimir Mcbadguy
yikes