>had a burger king binge last night
>went to sleep really late; woke up at 7.30 am; feel really tired
>for once I go straight back to sleep and wake up a few hours later
>browse internet and drink coffee for a short time
>have two retailcuck job interviews today
>leave flat; first time I've left flat before 11 am for days; it's sunny and warm and there are chads and Staceys everywhere ("Everyone works a soul crushing job, bro!")
>go to job interview (got rejected by email later today)
>walk near a famous university and see happy young people everywhere, which feels bad
>go to second job interview
>almost don't go in, in case they made me do a trial shift, but I go in
>almost don't ask to see manager for interview because there are zoomer chads and Staceys nearby
>manager really dislikes my CV because I've switched jobs a bit more than he finds suitable
>go back to flat
>spend 3 hours browsing internet and drinking coffee because I have nothing better to do
>go in to central London for my usual walk
>see lots of officeStaceys, which is demoralising
>now drinking coffee
>not sure what I'll eat today
It will soon not even be worth getting a job before my new good one starts because I'll have to leave it so soon. UK NEETs will know what issues I'll face.
I'm in a familiar position: In my 20s, with my own flat in London, huge amounts of free time during summer, a good job coming up which takes away my short and medium term career worries... yet utterly fucking demoralised, wasting all my money on junk food and £3 coffees, and wasting time on either internet browsing or walking around the same places, feeling sad about life. And agonising about life philosophies and epiphanies and my own laziness and my future hard life due to my ugliness etc.
I listened to the BEE / Tarankino podcast (which I have nostalgia over listening to in 2016). I thought about going to the cinema but the magic is dead.
I feel like such a sucker for buying coffee. But setting myself a rule to not buy one feels like cucking myself with spooks. I should freely choose not to buy it.
