Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead...

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.

Attached: 1534223462385.jpg (229x221, 11K)

Cringe

The opening sentence of Portrait is much worse. As a matter of fact, I've tried this exact same form of affect-Pepe posting with that moocow, and with better results(?)

>starting your 'masterpiece' with an adverb
OH NO NO NO NO!

when they talk about mental illness is when you should become an activist

that's an adjective lad

Why did Joyce have to be so wordy?

>Buck Mulligan was fat. He appeared with the shaving supplies.

That's all he needed to say.

kek

Because then you lose the religious connotations of "bearing" and "crossed". The point is to show his actions in terms of ritual, so it makes sense to give the scene a certain kind of reverence

Frankly Mr. Shankly this position I've held
it pays my way and it corrodes my soul

Why do we need his last name?

>Buck was fat. He appeared with shaving supplies.

actually it was a contralor that would not provoque george wallace to ccommit suicide and would put things in order

Hey Hemingway

Still too wordy.
>Fat Buck walked up the stairs with the shaving kit

>Fat Buck walked upstairs to shave.

Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote poetry
I didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry, Mr. Shankly

These are too pretentious and Victorian. It needs a colloquial touch. Something vernacular.
>So this fat fucker "Buck" walked up the stairs with his shaving shit

The subjectiveness of writing will always make crit threads nothing more than a line of people wandering aimlessly in the dark as to what good and bad is.

Buck got his shit and got up them stairs yeehaw

What if I wrote a whole book like that huh
Would people fucking read it because I'll fucking do it and I'll do it exclusively drunk so I remember nothing

Oh mother, I can feel,
the soil falling over my head

based